In sophomore year of high school, I was called down to the guidance office, where a counselor wanted to talk to me about my recent life and mindset when it came to myself, my social life, and my grades. Through our out-of-the-blue conversation, she deemed that it may be worthwhile for me to seek professional help from a therapist. Although she couldn't diagnose me as a public school counselor, and only went off of a single talk, she suspected I had depression. My parents, a bit shocked and confused, booked me with a therapist. After a few sessions, my counselor's theories were confirmed. I was diagnosed with severe depression as well as severe anxiety, which were both feeding into each other. Through therapy, I thought a lot about my earlier life leading up to this point. No one had ever told me outright that I could have mental health issues, at least no one professional or in an unsarcastic manner. Simultaneously, my earlier outlook of depression was awfully ignorant, yet also something I assumed I had. I assumed that was normal. I thought that depression was just the constant feeling of sadness through your life, as many do. To me, my anxiety was normal, someone that everyone felt that can either be good or bad. Which is true to some extent, but it was not normal to have my level of anxiety. It should not have gone overlooked. I didn’t know that a symptom of depression was a lack of motivation, which described me exactly. Things like cleaning my room, brushing my teeth, fully washing and untangling my hair, those were very difficult tasks for me to complete. I knew that I needed to do them and criticized myself for my poor hygiene, yet I could not convince myself to complete those otherwise simple actions. Making friends was also very difficult. My anxiety would prevent me from speaking by all means necessary, even to people I already sort of knew. It certainly didn’t help that this all started during the hybrid year of my middle school due to COVID-19, where isolation was a given no matter if I had anxiety or not. With my therapist, I learned a lot about the mistakes in my thinking, which helped me be able to forge relationships and quell my anxiety in my everyday life. I still struggle with some of these thoughts even after counseling, but now I know many techniques to ground and calm myself down. My time in therapy wasn’t too long. I ended up having to leave due to schedule discrepancies with my new job. But during this time, I was able to come down from severe to borderline. Still not the ideal mental state to be in, but it feels like a great accomplishment to me. Looking back at myself, I can see the clear improvements in my overall mood, mindset, and outlook on life.

My passion for STEAM, specifically the Science, Technology, and Math elements, came from my parents. My father worked in data analytics, making his own programs for his company's customer data, requiring computer literacy and a good understanding of math. My mother worked in jewelry, though the retail side, but her large collection of gems and crystals made me fall in love with the science behind them. My reason for choosing to pursue STEAM in college is to reach the Crystallography field, where I can study my greatest passion as a career. I am in love with minerals. Unlike my mother, I do not have much of an appreciation for the retail side. I do not favor cut stones, or polished crystals. I love the samples exactly as they form in the ground. My love for minerals comes from their beauty, both the obvious and the hidden. All minerals are different from one another, with stunning colors, reflections, and formation shapes. Hercynite forms in a perfect 3D rhombus shape, appearing as a galaxy with its rainbow assorted blobs of rainbow colors. Nickellothameyerite has not just an impressive name, but an almost unreal appearance. Caramel orange color stones that form like rock candy. But at their atomic structures, minerals are still just as beautiful. Their atoms are arranged in exact patterns that repeat over and over, making them form into certain geometric shapes. But they do not always present perfect repetition. Actually, it's quite rare. There are many different types of defects that can be present in mineral structures. These defects can change the color of a mineral, such as added Iron in a sample of quartz making it purple, also known as Amethyst. Inclusions, other pieces of minerals inside a larger crystal, can make some amazing optical properties. Inside feldspar, hematite and magnetite can form in a grid pattern. From a certain angle, one can view the two inclusion minerals scattered around: the bright orange of the thin hematite and the perfect triangles of the magnetite. From another angle, they form an iridescent lattice of every color of the rainbow. I want to dedicate my life to these studies, as the world of minerals is already large and ever-growing. By earning this scholarship, I can have an easier time paying for my education that will help me reach my goal. I plan on using my knowledge from the Chemistry and Geological Science fields in order to study ways that mineralogy and crystallography can be used in the medical industries. The tiny formations of magnetite in our brains, the crystalline structures in kidney stones, and the toxic properties of some minerals. These are all areas I would want to explore with my education to try and make progress in our understanding of medicine and human conditions.