Ever since I could remember, I have been misunderstood by others. I walked through life trying to fit myself into spaces, never quite finding the right niche. I often didn't understand why I would see others so easily slip into the rhythm of everyone else. Not plagued by anxiety or racing thoughts. I yearned for the mental quiet. It wasn't until I came across an old psychology book that I finally felt the peace of a quiet mind. I had realized that my solace came in deciphering my own brain and picking it apart. It was at this moment that I found comfort in understanding, I had found my niche. This pattern carried over to the people around me and I had realized that this was how I connected with others. A person's ill characteristic, often ridiculed by others, became of a point of curiosity for me allowing me a level of empathy that I had never felt. As time went on I delved more into psychology, yearning more to learn about the capacities of the brain and give people a space of non judgement. This has helped me defer others from the isolation of being misunderstood like I experienced. I only hope to continue to use my analytical abilities to support others. My pursuit of a psychology degree will equip me with the knowledge to open up my own practice. This scholarship fund will help me seek this, as I can save others form the hardship of being misunderstood.

For a really long time, I’d thought my sensitivity was a bad thing. I was often criticized for being “too sensitive” or “too weak” by peers because of my overabundance of empathy. I’d get frustrated with myself because of my ease at shedding tears, or my visceral outrage at people being mistreated by others, because others’ reaction to this was often that it wasn't that serious. Eventually, it became an insecurity of mine, as I was constantly being told that this quality was a setback or disadvantage. However, the only people who didn't tell me this growing up were my mother and grandmother. My relationship with the maternal figures in my family has always been integral to me. This was especially spurred on by my growing up in a single-parent household, often having to spend the summers with my grandmother in Orlando because my mom had to work. My parents separated shortly after I was born, resulting in my mother gaining predominate custody over me and my father moving to Orlando. My interactions with him have dwindled over the years, but the lessons, values, and care that I have gotten from my mother and grandmother have made up for the lack of his presence tenfold. In many ways, I do not know where I would be without them. They are my role models, often somehow simultaneously being the solid force and the models of love and care in my life. They were also the people who had accepted me the most, and I clung to both figures like a vice, wanting to be just like them one day. Even in moments as dark as my grandmother’s funeral. I remember sitting in the pews of the church, looking around at the audience full of people I had never seen before; a room filled with complete strangers who shared the same anguish I did at the loss of my grandmother. Something that stood out to me was the variety of people in the audience. These people had appreciated my grandmother because she had accepted them for who they were, and the same caring nature she had shown me my entire life was exactly the reason she had been loved and appreciated by the many people in that room. It was also the same reason that my mom had been appreciated by so many people. That caring nature was held by both of them. Then through the thick fog of grief, I experienced a moment of great clarity. This characteristic was exactly what made both of these figures so important to me. Their ability to understand and accept people for who they are regardless of their circumstances, or how they had been treated by other people struck a chord with me.I had realized that my 'greatest weakness' which I had been convinced was a flaw, is exactly what bred the caring nature I had so heavily admired within my mother and grandmother. This sensitivity is exactly what drives my compassion toward people and has given me the strength to stand up for things that I believe in. While the sudden devastation of my grandmother's loss felt as though my world had crumbled to the ground, in the same breath it has been incredibly ironic to discover that the very thing that has been my greatest insecurity has actually been my greatest strength, connecting me to the most important and influential people in my life.