A community and aspect of my life that has shaped me and my expression on campus is mental health and mental health advocacy. I have been able to connect unofficially with students on campus, peers, and friends about the struggles and conversion that regard this aspect. This so-called “group,” made up of individuals who can share personal experiences with anxiety, OCD, and depression, like myself, or mental health and advocacy in general, has impacted the way I see the world and interact with others like nothing I have experienced before. The discussions and open space where vulnerability is met with understanding and where struggles transform into sources of strength and connection have strengthened my experience and, hopefully, others. My goal is to create an accepting environment at my school and in my future. Growing up, I often felt isolated in my struggles, ashamed to admit I needed help. Finding people at school who share these aspects was a turning point—it gave me a sense of belonging and helped me embrace my differences rather than suppress them, which has always been my involuntary choice. We celebrate small victories, share coping strategies, and provide a safe space to express ourselves without fear of judgment. These conversations and the feeling of community have taught me the power of empathy and the importance of listening with an open heart, skills I carry into all areas of my life. I hope to enrich my campus by fostering conversations around mental health and creating inclusive spaces for others to feel seen and supported. I want to be able to spread the idea that it's okay to not be okay. I had such a hard time accepting my struggles and I want to share my experiences and allow users to not feel that way. I aim to contribute by initiating peer support programs, collaborating with campus mental health organizations, and promoting awareness events happening on campus, as well as being in tune with the campus and meeting everyone with kindness and empathy. My experiences have given me a unique perspective on resilience, community, and the strength found in shared understanding. I believe that my journey can help inspire others to embrace their challenges and build a stronger, more compassionate campus environment. It is important to me that in someone's darkness, they can be their light, and call on others to help them light their life even more.

The statement "I have learned that the purpose of teaching is to bring the student to his or her sense of his or her own presence." - Professor Harold Bloom, Possessed by Memory, speaks to the transformative power education holds. This means helping students recognize their unique values, abilities, and potential. For students with special needs, this journey is usually even more profound than an able-bodied student, or a student without disabilities. To navigate a world that does not always accommodate a student with special needs strengths, they need guidance to see themselves as capable, confident, and worthy. As a special needs instructor, my mission would be to empower students to discover their strengths, embrace their differences, and build the skills to thrive. By creating an inclusive, supportive, and individualized learning experience, I hope to uncover each student's “presence” — their sense of self-worth and purpose in their learning environment. “The Guide to the Shining Presence” (Fairy Tale) Once upon a time, in a village nestled between two roaring mountains, lived a teacher named Noura. She was known far and wide as the “Guide to the Shining Presence”. Villagers whispered of her magical ability to help children discover their inner light. This inner light, a spark that was once found within, transformed their lives forever. One day, the village council summoned Noura with urgent pleas. “The children of the Hidden Valley have lost their sense of presence!” They said, “They wander aimlessly, doubting their worth and struggling to see the beauty within themselves.” Noura accepted the challenge and set off on her journey, carrying her satchel filled with her special tools: a mirror that reflected true potential, a compass of encouragement, and seeds of self-belief. When she reached the Hidden Valley, she found children who had forgotten how to dream. Some had been told their voices were too quiet; others believed their steps were too slow. Noura knew she couldn't give them answers – they had to find their own way – but she could help guide them. She began to listen to their stories, weaving their tails into courage and strength. She showed them the mirror, but its magic only worked when the children spoke kind words about themselves. Slowly but surely, they began to see their inner glow. Next, Noura handed the children each a compass of encouragement. “This will guide you if you ever feel lost or alone” " she softly spoke. “But you must take the first step.” She encouraged them to explore their talents, encouraging one child to craft a song, another child to paint vast landscapes, and another child to plant a beautiful garden of flowers with vibrant hues. The seeds of self-belief grew into towering trees, providing them comfort and shade. The children began to laugh and play, seeing value in themselves and others. Their sense of presence returned, shining light amongst the children. Nouras' work was now done, and she departed, leaving behind the village transformed. The children no longer needed her “magic” tools – they discovered the light within themselves. As Noura journeyed to the next valet, her heart swelled with pride, knowing that she guided them to their shining presence.

My dream to pursue a career in education has inspired me and kept me pushing through my educational path. I have been in many classrooms, and I have been able to see the inner workings of teaching young minds, and what it truly means to be an educator. I have many questions that remain about education and instruction, as I have only been able to catch a small glimpse into the teaching world. I think as time goes on I will be able to understand my own way of educating and the best way I can tune it to my students. I believe the opportunity to shape the minds and hearts of growing children will make it certain that teaching is my passion. I know I am and will always be interested in becoming a teacher and giving students the opportunity to grow into a more prosperous person. My experiences in an educational setting have helped me explore my abilities in the classroom as well as outside the classroom. Not only the in-school experience, but the courses I have taken have given me so much pride in my passion as an educator. Working with such intelligent and riveting professors, and being able to surround myself with driven students created a sense of community I have not had before. The qualities I possess as a teacher have extended from the classroom and helped me shape myself into a better person based on the personalities I have encountered and the effective portrayals of what a teacher means to me. My passion for pursuing teaching as a career is not just about giving back to children and helping them grow into purposeful adults, but it will help me shape myself into the person I want to be and the person I need to be for my students. I am so fortunate for the chances I have been given to prove myself to the students I have taught and allow them to give me room to grow with them, and help them pursue their educational and social lives and development. The setbacks I have had in my life have shaped me into who I am today and further ensured that I want to be able to give students who may have had struggles like myself a better chance at growing. Growing up in a low-income household, the stress and worry of my own house would follow me into school and weigh on me. The angst of my worry hindered my development and I had to work that much harder to catch up. I want to be able to foster a safe and helpful space for students so the worry and stress can vanish at the doors of the school, and hopefully, that stress can be alleviated when they leave. I have always had different relationships with my teachers, but the ones who made a difference in my life, have truly stuck with me and helped me pursue my dreams, and I wish to one day be that teacher for my students. With the opportunity of this thoughtful and helpful scholarship, I will be able to continue my education so I can strengthen the education of the future young minds of the world. I have to sacrifice my own finances to make ends meet while pursuing my education. Coming from a low-income household I had to sacrifice a lot to stay afloat. The financial burden of school has weighed on me like an anvil, and it seems I will never be able to take a deep breath. I hope to one day breath.

My dream to pursue a career in education has inspired me and kept me pushing through my educational path. I have been in many classrooms, and I have been able to see the inner workings of teaching young minds, and what it truly means to be an educator. I have many questions that remain about education and instruction, as I have only been able to catch a small glimpse into the teaching world. I think as time goes on I will be able to understand my own way of educating and the best way I can tune it to my students. I believe the opportunity to shape the minds and hearts of growing children will make it certain that teaching is my passion. I know I am and will always be interested in becoming a teacher and giving students the opportunity to grow into a more prosperous person. My experiences in an educational setting have helped me explore my abilities in the classroom as well as outside the classroom. Not only the in-school experience, but the courses I have taken have given me so much pride in my passion as an educator. Working with such intelligent and riveting professors, and being able to surround myself with driven students created a sense of community I have not had before. The qualities I possess as a teacher have extended from the classroom and helped me shape myself into a better person based on the personalities I have encountered and the effective portrayals of what a teacher means to me. My passion for pursuing teaching as a career is not just about giving back to children and helping them grow into purposeful adults, but it will help me shape myself into the person I want to be and the person I need to be for my students. I am so fortunate for the chances I have been given to prove myself to the students I have taught and allow them to give me room to grow with them, and help them pursue their educational and social lives and development. The setbacks I have had in my life have shaped me into who I am today and further ensured that I want to be able to give students who may have had struggles like myself a better chance at growing. Growing up in a low-income household, the stress and worry of my own house would follow me into school and weigh on me. The angst of my worry hindered my development and I had to work that much harder to catch up. I want to be able to foster a safe and helpful space for students so the worry and stress can vanish at the doors of the school, and hopefully, that stress can be alleviated when they leave. I have always had different relationships with my teachers, but the ones who made a difference in my life, have truly stuck with me and helped me pursue my dreams, and I wish to one day be that teacher for my students. With the opportunity of this thoughtful and helpful scholarship, I will be able to continue my education so I can strengthen the education of the future young minds of the world.

Since I can remember I have had this feeling, this bubbling sense of something that I could never quite put my finger on. On a regular day, in a normal year, with average people, I went to see a doctor. And to my surprise, it was on this regular, normal, average day that I would place my finger on Anxiety, OCD, and Depression. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I could breathe. I knew what the confusing feelings I had were. They had a name and a purpose. Although soon enough the weight would find me again. The undiagnosed version of myself was happy to see me liberated but it is not as easy as saying a few words as it is to work on how to make your life easier. I would not allow people to support and help me. I was locked in my cage. The brief intermission of my regularly scheduled program was brief indeed. I was young when I was diagnosed, and although it was nice to put a name to a face it did not change what I was feeling. My doctor set up a plan for me. I was to go to her psychiatric floor every Thursday for therapy. Again, I was unaware of what this truly meant and was somewhat uninvolved with my treatment. I would tell my friends in middle school that I had to go to the dentist every week, and that's the reason that I had to leave early. I wanted to keep the truth to myself and pretend it wasn't happening. I was so small-minded as a child, as none of my friends had a doctor who talked to them about their thoughts and picked apart their brains. I was ashamed. I never truly accepted who I was, and it impeded my ability to develop an understanding and work toward a goal I never set. I began gymnastics when I was two years old. The sport did not become meaningful to me until middle school. One of the girls had been battling leukemia and she sadly passed away at 10 years old. I had never experienced a loss like that before. At such a young age my life was filled with laughter and games, never worrying about any hardships. Things were put into perspective very quickly for me after that. I realized that everyone struggles with hard times, and it should not be shrouded in darkness. Our gym set up a fundraiser for her family, and at the end of our practices we began having “community meetings”. We would sit in the foam pit, and talk. We could talk about anything, how the loss of one of our own affected us, or any troubles we may have been having. Before the gym was a place of rigorous training and discipline. After we began our talks after practice, it became a warm place where we could feel at peace. That was the moment I began to accept myself. Hearing my other teammates battling with the same issues, made me feel not so alone. Gymnastics helped me rid myself of the pent-up anger I held towards myself. Gymnastics made me realize that it's okay not to be okay, and I will be forever in debt to the amazing team I could call my own.

Since I can remember I have had this feeling, this bubbling sense of something that I could never quite put my finger on. On a regular day, in a normal year, with average people, I went to see a doctor. And to my surprise, it was on this regular, normal, average day that I would place my finger on Anxiety, OCD, and Depression. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I could breathe. I knew what the confusing feelings I had were. They had a name and a purpose. Although soon enough the weight would find me again. The undiagnosed version of myself was happy to see me liberated but it is not as easy as saying a few words as it is to work on how to make your life easier. I think it's essential for people to know more about mental health, or at least the bare minimum. I think it would put the people affected by it at ease. I believe that people, including myself, do get frustrated and stressed about their need to act impulsively, and when people don't fully understand that feeling it is harder to be supportive and help. I would not allow people to support and help me. I was locked in my cage. The brief intermission of my regularly scheduled program was brief indeed. I was young when I was diagnosed, and although it was nice to put a name to a face it did not change what I was feeling. My doctor set up a plan for me. I was to go to her psychiatric floor every Thursday for therapy. Again, I was unaware of what this truly meant and was somewhat uninvolved with my treatment. I would tell my friends in middle school that I had to go to the dentist every week, and that's the reason that I had to leave early. I wanted to keep the truth to myself and pretend it wasn't happening. I was so small-minded as a child, as none of my friends had a doctor who talked to them about their thoughts and picked apart their brains. I was ashamed. I could not grasp how and why I felt different than I thought I should. I stuffed my feelings deep down and zipped my lips when important questions came around. As I am recalling these memories it's almost like I am trying to lift weights with oil on my hands. The memories are so close but I am still not able to fully grasp them. I believe the lack of recollection was another way of suppressing who I truly was. I never truly accepted who I was, and it impeded my ability to develop an understanding and work toward a goal I never set. It wasted my time and my family's time, it felt like I was becoming a burden. My mother would have to leave work early to take me to the doctor and I never expressed how I felt about going. Those silent car rides filled with angst and pressure felt miles longer than they were. All the years I was in therapy I did not use it to my advantage, I didn't want to go, and I did not want to act like I needed it. I wasted years of help, because of my selfish pride. It wasn't until I would be locking myself in the bathroom screaming at the top of my lungs because of a simple mishap would I remember why I went. The “poison” in my brain was seeping into the lives of people around me and it soiled my thoughts that much more. As an adult now, I yearn for the years I could have helped myself and squirt at the idea of all the people who wanted to help, and how I did not accept. I do not claim that I am all healed now but I feel as if I have made great strides. I have begun to accept who I am and relish in my differences instead of pushing them deep into my mind. I have been able to find a community where people share similar feelings and “troubles" that I do. I feel I can express myself with like-minded individuals in a way I have never before. These groups of people actually know what I'm talking about, and that is something I have never been able to say before. To be able to explain my feelings and thoughts and not have someone look at me like they've seen a ghost is an extremely precious thing in my life. My journey has shaped who I am, and how I depict myself and treat myself. I have been able to open my mind and eyes to the world of mental health and not think of it poorly as I did in the past. My struggle with mental illness doesn't define me although I can not say that it never has. Conquering mental illness is not about eliminating the struggle, and it's not about conquering it either. It is about embracing the journey towards understanding, resilience, and self-compassion. It is the small victories, the moments of courage, and the decision to keep going, even when the path may feel impossibly steep, that true healing can begin. The battle can be lifelong, and it is to be expected, although every step forward is a testament to the strength within me, proving that, even in the face of darkness, I can be my own light.

A community and aspect of my life that has shaped me and my expression on campus is mental health and mental health advocacy. I have been able to connect unofficially with students on campus, peers, and friends about the struggles and conversion that regard this aspect. This so-called “group”, made up of individuals who can share personal experiences with anxiety, OCD, and depression, like myself, or mental health and advocacy in general, has impacted the way I see the world and interact with others like nothing I have experienced before. The discussions and open space where vulnerability is met with understanding and where struggles transform into sources of strength and connection have strengthened my experience and hopefully others school. Growing up, I often felt isolated in my struggles, ashamed to admit I needed help. Finding people at school who share these aspects was a turning point—it gave me a sense of belonging and helped me embrace my differences rather than suppress them, which has always been my involuntary choice. We celebrate small victories, share coping strategies, and provide a safe space to express ourselves without fear of judgment. These conversations and the feeling of community have taught me the power of empathy and the importance of listening with an open heart, skills I carry into all areas of my life. The weight that mental health and its issues can have on a person affects all aspects of life. At school, I hope to enrich the campus by fostering conversations around mental health and creating inclusive spaces for others to feel seen and supported. I want to be able to spread the idea that it's okay to not be okay. I had such a hard time accepting my struggles and I want to share my experiences and allow users to not feel that way. I aim to contribute by initiating peer support programs, collaborating with campus mental health organizations, and promoting awareness events happening on campus, as well as being in tune with the campus and meeting everyone with kindness and empathy. My experiences have given me a unique perspective on resilience, community, and the strength found in shared understanding. I believe that my journey can help inspire others to embrace their challenges and build a stronger, more compassionate campus environment. It is important to me that in someone's darkness, they can be their own light, and call on others to help them light their life even more

I call this Love Island challenge "Fashion Flip." Teams split up of men and women will compete to create stylish and fun outfits from the opposite teams' wardrobes. Each team will present their creations in a lively and exciting fashion show judged by their opponents, and the live audience can vote through the app. Each team will have 30 minutes to choose items of clothing from the opposite team's wardrobe and create an exciting outfit; the outfit should have a theme that the contestants can pick themselves. Each team uses the clothing items provided by the opposite group to style outfits for themselves. Teams can alter how items are worn (e.g., using a shirt as a scarf) but cannot permanently modify them (no cutting or sewing). Add an element of fun by introducing themes like "Formal Night," "Beach Party," or "Wild West." Each team presents their outfits in a fashion show. Contestants walk the runway, strike poses, and showcase their looks with confidence and flair. The judging criteria should consist of, but is not limited to, creativity: How unique and inventive are the outfits?, confidence: How well do the contestants own the runway? and overall spunk. The winning team earns a fun reward, such as a VIP spa night, extra time in the villa, or exclusive treats. Optional twists can include guest judges or mystery items. I think this challenge will foster an inclusive and exciting aspect of the villa and give the option of the islanders to get closer and more comfortable with each other.

My dream to pursue a career in education has inspired me and kept me pushing through my educational path. I have been in many classrooms, and I have been able to see the inner workings of teaching young minds, and what it truly means to be an educator. I have many questions that remain about education and instruction, as I have only been able to catch a small glimpse into the teaching world. I think as time goes on I will be able to understand my own way of educating and the best way I can tune it to my students. I believe the opportunity to shape the minds and hearts of growing children will make it certain that teaching is my passion. I know I am and will always be interested in becoming a teacher and giving students the opportunity to grow into a more prosperous person. My experiences in an educational setting have helped me explore my abilities in the classroom as well as outside the classroom. Not only the in-school experience, but the courses I have taken have given me so much pride in my passion as an educator. Working with such intelligent and riveting professors, and being able to surround myself with driven students created a sense of community I have not had before. The qualities I possess as a teacher have extended from the classroom and helped me shape myself into a better person based on the personalities I have encountered and the effective portrayals of what a teacher means to me. My passion for pursuing teaching as a career is not just about giving back to children and helping them grow into purposeful adults, but it will help me shape myself into the person I want to be and the person I need to be for my students. I am so fortunate for the chances I have been given to prove myself to the students I have taught and allow them to give me room to grow with them, and help them pursue their educational and social lives and development. The setbacks I have had in my life have shaped me into who I am today and further ensured that I want to be able to give students who may have had struggles like myself a better chance at growing. Growing up in a low-income household, the stress and worry of my own house would follow me into school and weigh on me. The angst of my worry hindered my development and I had to work that much harder to catch up. I want to be able to foster a safe and helpful space for students so the worry and stress can vanish at the doors of the school, and hopefully, that stress can be alleviated when they leave. I have always had different relationships with my teachers, but the ones who made a difference in my life, have truly stuck with me and helped me pursue my dreams, and I wish to one day be that teacher for my students. With the opportunity of this thoughtful and helpful scholarship, I will be able to continue my education so I can strengthen the education of the future young minds of the world.

Growing up as someone who never was able to flourish in a school environment, could never properly take tests, or fully commit myself to my class work I never expected to want to work in any sort of educational career. I have always been with children and worked with them regardless if I was aware of it or not. Having younger family members, and having to babysit, and help them with homework was a passive experience that I was enjoying, and I did not fully know it yet. After years of being with children, I realized it is truly something I love to do. In my early teenage years, I was able to teach children gymnastics, which was an interesting shift in my relationship with teaching. I had never truly been able to teach before, and to be able to teach kids I knew from the gym I had attended for years, something I loved, was a complete change for me.I was able to learn the workings of teaching starting from the outside and working in, watching and assisting. As time went on I was able to become more involved with the students directly, and create lasting relationships. When you have relationships with your students it completely changes how the classroom works, you can assess situations better as well as suspect what a student may need. While I started to immerse myself more, I was given more opportunities with the teachers, and had the ability to take more control over the classroom and see how I would work as one of the main teachers in a classroom of many young students. I was able to understand the curriculum more, understand how language is very important when working with young students, and how some students will need more help than others. The opportunity I was given in high school was imperative as I was going into college, and was able to fully commit myself to the career after my experience working as an assistant teacher. As I began to work a full day with the students I was sure this is exactly the job that was a fit for me. It is more than a job to me, and I truly started to love it and enjoy my time and ability in the classroom. As a women in the educational field it may seem I will be one in a million, the field is consumed by powerful women conducting classrooms. Although I hope to make a big change in the sea of amazing teachers. I have been in classrooms before, I am even finishing this statement in a 5th grade classroom as I watch my female host teacher push her students to be better. I strive to be even a fraction of the women in life who have made me the person I am today.

Since I can remember, I’ve felt a bubbling sense of something I couldn’t quite place. On a regular day, I saw a doctor and discovered Anxiety, OCD, and Depression. Naming these feelings felt like lifting a weight off my shoulders, but the weight soon returned. My undiagnosed self was relieved by clarity, yet working toward an easier life was far harder than labeling the problem. I believe understanding mental health could ease frustration for those affected and their supporters. However, I kept my struggles hidden, even telling middle school friends I had weekly dentist appointments instead of therapy. I was ashamed, unable to accept my differences, and suppressed my true self. Silent car rides to the doctor with my mom felt endlessly long, filled with angst and pressure. I didn’t share how I felt about therapy, didn’t want to attend, and didn’t admit I needed it. I squandered years of help due to pride. It wasn’t until I locked myself in the bathroom, screaming over small mishaps, that I understood the toll of ignoring my "poisoned" thoughts. As a child, I couldn’t grasp why I felt different. I pushed my emotions deep down, zipping my lips when asked important questions. Even now, recalling these memories feels like trying to lift weights with oil on my hands—so close yet impossible to hold onto. My lack of recollection may have been another way to suppress my true self. I never accepted who I was, which wasted time and impeded my ability to grow. My diagnosis didn’t erase my struggles. Though my doctor set up weekly therapy sessions, I remained disengaged. I didn’t understand the importance of the process and didn’t want to be seen as different. None of my friends had a doctor who talked to them about their thoughts or picked apart their brains. I felt ashamed and isolated, believing I was broken. Years later, I regret rejecting the help offered to me. I now understand how the untreated “poison” in my brain seeped into the lives of those around me, deepening my self-loathing. My pride prevented me from leaning on the people who cared. The years I spent in denial robbed me of opportunities to heal and burdened my family. As an adult, I yearn for the time I lost but also recognize the progress I’ve made. I’ve begun to accept who I am and take pride in my differences. I’ve found a community of like-minded individuals who share similar feelings and challenges. For the first time, I can explain my thoughts without fear of judgment. It’s liberating to be understood, to know others have experienced the same struggles. My journey has shaped who I am and how I view myself. Where I once thought poorly of mental health issues, I now embrace the importance of understanding and compassion. Struggling with mental illness doesn’t define me, though it once did. Healing isn’t about eliminating the struggle—it’s about embracing the journey toward resilience and self-compassion. True healing comes in small victories, moments of courage, and the decision to keep moving forward, even when the path feels steep. The battle may be lifelong, but each step forward proves I can be my own light, even in darkness.

Since I can remember I have had this feeling, this bubbling sense of something that I could never quite put my finger on. On a regular day, in a normal year, with average people, I went to see a doctor. And to my surprise, it was on this regular, normal, average day that I would place my finger on Anxiety, OCD, and Depression. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I could breathe. I knew what the confusing feelings I had were. They had a name and a purpose. Although soon enough the weight would find me again. The undiagnosed version of myself was happy to see me liberated but it is not as easy as saying a few words as it is to work on how to make your life easier. I think it's essential for people to know more about mental health, or at least the bare minimum. I think it would put the people affected by it at ease. I believe that people, including myself, do get frustrated and stressed about their need to act impulsively, and when people don't fully understand that feeling it is harder to be supportive and help. I would not allow people to support and help me. I was locked in my cage. The brief intermission of my regularly scheduled program was brief indeed. I was young when I was diagnosed, and although it was nice to put a name to a face it did not change what I was feeling. My doctor set up a plan for me. I was to go to her psychiatric floor every Thursday for therapy. Again, I was unaware of what this truly meant and was somewhat uninvolved with my treatment. I would tell my friends in middle school that I had to go to the dentist every week, and that's the reason that I had to leave early. I wanted to keep the truth to myself and pretend it wasn't happening. I was so small-minded as a child, as none of my friends had a doctor who talked to them about their thoughts and picked apart their brains. I was ashamed. I could not grasp how and why I felt different than I thought I should. I stuffed my feelings deep down and zipped my lips when important questions came around. As I am recalling these memories it's almost like I am trying to lift weights with oil on my hands. The memories are so close but I am still not able to fully grasp them. I believe the lack of recollection was another way of suppressing who I truly was. I never truly accepted who I was, and it impeded my ability to develop an understanding and work toward a goal I never set. It wasted my time and my family's time, it felt like I was becoming a burden. My mother would have to leave work early to take me to the doctor and I never expressed how I felt about going. Those silent car rides filled with angst and pressure felt miles longer than they were. All the years I was in therapy I did not use it to my advantage, I didn't want to go, and I did not want to act like I needed it. I wasted years of help, because of my selfish pride. It wasn't until I would be locking myself in the bathroom screaming at the top of my lungs because of a simple mishap would I remember why I went. The “poison” in my brain was seeping into the lives of people around me and it soiled my thoughts that much more. As an adult now, I yearn for the years I could have helped myself and squirt at the idea of all the people who wanted to help, and how I did not accept. I do not claim that I am all healed now but I feel as if I have made great strides. I have begun to accept who I am and relish in my differences instead of pushing them deep into my mind. I have been able to find a community where people share similar feelings and “troubles" that I do. I feel I can express myself with like-minded individuals in a way I have never before. These groups of people actually know what I'm talking about, and that is something I have never been able to say before. To be able to explain my feelings and thoughts and not have someone look at me like they've seen a ghost is an extremely precious thing in my life. My journey has shaped who I am, and how I depict myself and treat myself. I have been able to open my mind and eyes to the world of mental health and not think of it poorly as I did in the past. My struggle with mental illness doesn't define me although I can not say that it never has. Conquering mental illness is not about eliminating the struggle, and it's not about conquering it either. It is about embracing the journey towards understanding, resilience, and self-compassion. It is the small victories, the moments of courage, and the decision to keep going, even when the path may feel impossibly steep, that true healing can begin. The battle can be lifelong, and it is to be expected, although every step forward is a testament to the strength within me, proving that, even in the face of darkness, I can be my own light.

Growing up as someone who never was able to flourish in a school environment, could never properly take tests, or fully commit myself to my class work I never expected to want to work in any sort of educational career. Having younger family members, and having to babysit, and help them with homework was a passive experience that I was enjoying, and did not fully know it yet that my journey to teach would start soon enough. At the beginning of my senior year of college I was able to learn the workings of teaching starting from the outside and working in, watching and assisting. As time went on I was able to become more involved with the students directly, and create lasting relationships. When you have relationships with your students it completely changes how the classroom works, and how I interact with the students themselves. While I started to immerse myself more, I was given more opportunities with the teachers, and had the ability to take more control over the classroom and see how I would work as one of the main teachers in a classroom of many young students. As I began to work a full day with the students I was sure this is exactly the job that was a fit for me. It is more than a job to me, and I truly started to love it and enjoy my time and ability in the classroom. With the opportunity of my pre-practicum, I was able to again explore a school environment. I was placed in a second grade class and it once again ensured my love for education and future career goals, seeing all the variations of teaching was such an integral part of my devotion to education. Overall, it just certified what I want to do with my career and how I want to help young learners. I have many questions that still remain about education and instruction, as I only got a glimpse into what that looks like. I think as time goes on I will be able to understand my own way of educating and the best way I can tune it to my own students. I believe the opportunity that the UMass Graduate School could give me will make it certain to me that teaching is my passion. My educational career leading up to the point in my life, as a senior, fostered a welcoming feeling when stepping into any classroom and the confidence of nurturing students in their respective learning environment. I know I am and will always be interested in becoming a teacher and being able to give the opportunity to students to grow into a more prosperous person. My experiences in an educational setting has helped me explore my abilities in the classroom as well as outside the classroom. The qualities I possess as a teacher have extended from the classroom and helped me shape myself into a better person based on the personalities I have encountered and the effective portrayals of what a teacher means to me. I am so fortunate for the chances I have been given to prove myself to the students I have taught and allow them to give me room to grow with them, and help them pursue their educational and social lives and develpoment. I have always had different relationships with my teachers, but the ones who really made a difference in my life, have truly stuck with me, and helped me pursue my dreams, and I wish to one day be that teacher for my students.