I am currently doing a Bachelor of Arts in music, playing viola and singing in choir. After undergrad I hope to do my masters in music therapy, so that I can work as a music therapist. So music is my main form of creative expression, and it is the art form I am most proficient in. But outside of music, I find myself cycling through phases of being absorbed in one creative hobby or another. For a few months it was drawing, then fiber arts, and now poetry. Even though these little creative endeavors are brief and truly just the dabblings of an amateur, they bring me so much joy. And through them I feel like I have a glimpse of complete and utter contentment. So here is a poem about that feeling. Small gifts And finally I find my life Laid out before me In bountiful glory A neat stack Of fourths A breath of mountain rain A simple chord One striking photograph And a glimpse Of complete fulfillment

Music has always been my heartbeat. My family used to sing together a lot, so I was humming along in harmony with my parents since I was very small. Those moments singing together made me feel warm and safe and deeply connected to my family. As I grew, I held onto that feeling, and was always singing and dancing, plunking out little melodies on the piano, or drumming my fingers on my desk in school. Always searching for the deep meaning and connection I knew could be felt in music. I couldn’t pinpoint that this was what I was looking for, but I knew I loved music. So freshman year of high school, I joined choir, and it is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. My choir director and the piano accompanist(who became voice teacher)changed my life. They led me and the rest in my class through the process of finding our voices, and then taught us to bring our voices and hearts together. Through my four years in that choir, I learned to listen. I learned to celebrate every musical performance. I learned to see the beauty in imperfection, and the magic of a truly unified ensemble. By the end of senior year I was completely captivated by choral singing, and its ability to connect people. One performance in particular captured exactly the feeling I remembered from childhood. My choir was at a restaurant, after a caroling gig. There was just one waitress, serving the whole group. After the meal, we thanked her by singing some carols. I’ll never forget the delight that filled her face, and ours, as we sang “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. There was this glow of connection in the room, because of our song. I knew that music had to be as central to my life as it is to my very being. But how? Would I be a performer? It is true that I love to perform, and for a while I was set on that. I wanted to raise voice with many others and feel the thrill of perfection mingling with the imperfection of true emotion. I dreamt of to living my life in a swirl of laughter and tears set free by song, of rehearsals with friends and impromptu harmonies. But how could I find that particular magic I sought, when the people I wanted to connect with was sitting down in their seats, and I on a stage where I could not even see them for how bright the lights were? I am so inspired by music’s ability to bring people together, audience and performer, mother and child, neighbors and coworkers, patient and caretaker. Recently, I was exposed to the idea of being a music therapist. In this exciting field I see that the healing properties of music goes beyond just feel good chemicals in the brain. Music is deeply connected to memory, and so by singing old familiar songs to patients with memory loss, it is possible to connect them to loved ones, and to themselves, in a way that isn’t otherwise possible. I believe that it is that connecting magic I felt in childhood that heals. And so that is the career I now aspire to. And it is because of the care of my parents that I discovered the magic of music and connection, and the guidance of my high school teachers that I found my way to the career that will allow me to live in that magic every day.

I dream of being a classical musician. I want to raise voice with many others and feel the thrill of perfection mingling with the imperfection of true emotion. I want to see my student's eyes light up when they finally gain control of a difficult passage. I want to sing carol of the bells every year and see children dancing before me, because when they hear it, they feel what I feel and cannot contain their delight. I want to wake up every morning and know that my job in the world is to stir hearts with the beauty of Beethoven, and Schubert, and Marcello. I dream of getting to live my life in a swirl of laughter and tears set free by song, of rehearsals with friends and impromptu harmonies. Of all my performance memories, my favorite was at a restaurant, one of these impromptu performances. The chamber choir I sang in had just finished a caroling gig, and was celebrating by going to Village Inn. There was just one waitress, serving the whole choir. After the meal, we thanked her by singing some carols. I’ll never forget the delight that filled her face, and ours, as we sang “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. There was this glow of connection in the room, because of our song. I am so inspired by music’s ability to bring people together. Music has given me a place to connect deeply with other people, and through my own music career I hope to create spaces for others to connect through music. And even on the off chance I don’t make a career of music, I know I will keep it with me for the sake of those joyful connections. This is my dream, to share in the joy that is music and the community of music, but I don’t know if that dream will happen, simply because there is a good chance I will not be able to sustain myself with the money I make as a musician. The music industry is increasingly difficult to traverse, and decreasingly profitable for artists. Of course, I am responsible for how well I manage my expenses, but to graduate from my bachelor’s degree with minimal debt would make a huge difference in my life as an artist, especially one who wants to pursue a master's and even doctorate degree in the future. This scholarship would play a huge role in minimizing that dept, and subsequently save me a lot of stress it as I manage my meager musician's income. In summary, I will chase music whatever happens, it is too important to me, and I feel it is to valuable not to make spaces for in the world, to leave behind just because I cannot afford to make it my career. But the money this scholarship can provide would give me more freedom to follow my dream, and with luck, spark a dream in those touched by my music.

Many years ago, when I was probably five years old, I played a little yellow handbell in "Happy Birthday". I was the smallest one there, and I felt a little silly, playing just one note. It was a G, perhaps, or F, or A. I don't exactly remember what note, but I remember how much I worried I would play my note at the wrong time. I figured it was a one time thing, that even if I messed up, I could just go back to playing barbies and never bother with a bell again. But I could not have been more wrong, and I never could have imagined how much handbells would come to mean to me. In sixth grade, I started playing violin, and as I entered high school, switched to viola, and joined choir at Central High school, my eagerness to participate in music grew. I have always loved fiddling with whatever instrument I can get my hands on, and I love making music with other people, so when my friend mentioned that I should join bell choir, I quickly decided I would go. From the first time I sightread with the group, I was charmed. The beautiful sound of the bell alone was wonderful, and the unique sort of collaboration necessary for handbells inspired me. I had to not only read the music in front of me, but also listen and respond to the bells around me with a special attention not found anywhere else. Of course, in orchestra, and choir, listening is vital, but to each hold a note, and to weave your note into a melodic line without having any control over when and how the other notes are played takes a focus and musical sense that exceeds anything else I have experienced. Beyond these intricacies, bell choir is such a deeply emotional form of music. In many communities, there is great emotion and importance associated with the sound of the bell. They sing of life and death, herald in bridal parties and funeral processions. With such history even the humble handbell carries the weight of all this. It sings of whatever the piece was intended for, yes, but also of community and coming together in our highest and lowest moments. As you can guess, handbells have come to mean a great deal to me, in the two years that I have been blessed to experience them. As I go on to pursue my undergrad in viola performance, with singing as my secondary instrument, I dearly hope to continue with bells. Thankfully, the school I am committed to, St. Olaf, has a fine handbell choir. And beyond college, I know I will always try to find time in my life for bells, for the sake of their history, their beauty, and the joyful connections they bring.

I dream of being a classical musician. I want to raise voice with many others and feel the thrill of perfection mingling with the imperfection of true emotion. I want to see my student's eyes light up when they finally gain control of a difficult passage. I want to sing carol of the bells every year and see children dancing before me, because when they hear it, they feel what I feel and cannot contain their delight. I want to wake up every morning and know that my job in the world is to stir hearts with the beauty of Beethoven, and Schubert, and Marcello. I dream of getting to live my life in a swirl of laughter and tears set free by song, of rehearsals with friends and impromptu harmonies. Of all my performance memories, my favorite was at a restaurant, one of these impromptu performances. The chamber choir I sang in had just finished a caroling gig, and was celebrating by going to Village Inn. There was just one waitress, serving the whole choir. After the meal, we thanked her by singing some carols. I’ll never forget the delight that filled her face, and ours, as we sang “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. There was this glow of connection in the room, because of our song. I am so inspired by music’s ability to bring people together. Music has given me a place to connect deeply with other people, and through my own music career I hope to create spaces for others to connect through music. And even on the off chance I don’t make a career of music, I know I will keep it with me for the sake of those joyful connections. This is my dream, to share in the joy that is music and the community of music, but I don’t know if that dream will happen, simply because there is a good chance I will not be able to sustain myself with the money I make as a musician. The music industry is increasingly difficult to traverse, and decreasingly profitable for artists. Of course, I am responsible for how well I manage my expenses, but to graduate from my bachelor’s degree with minimal debt would make a huge difference in my life as an artist, especially one who wants to pursue a master's and even doctorate degree in the future. This scholarship would play a huge role in minimizing that dept, and subsequently save me a lot of stress it as I manage my meager musician's income. In summary, I will chase music whatever happens, it is too important to me, and I feel it is to valuable not to make spaces for in the world, to leave behind just because I cannot afford to make it my career. But the money this scholarship can provide would give me more freedom to follow my dream, and with luck, spark a dream in those touched by my music.