Hi, my name is Nkiruka and I would love to tell a story about how I've always held myself accountable, but that's simply not true. Accountability is not always something that's inherent, for a lot of us it is taught. I learned in more hard ways than one, lack of accountability is my biggest hindrance. Emerging into a new phase of my life, accountability is a pill I swallow every day and it is continuously leading me to be the best version of myself. The best version of myself is the person that does not use social media and a lack of motivation as an excuse to rot in bed all day. The best version of me is the one that goes to therapy and sits there for an hour, partly so someone can tell me how I'm contributing to my own demise. The best version of me is the person that uses various task/time management apps because I understand my ADHD symptoms are an explanation, not an excuse. The best version of myself realizes my faults and accommodates them, rather than wishing them away. Every single moment I have engaged in accountability is a moment that I get to flourish and fill in missing cracks. I get to be a better sister, friend, and human. The love, joy, and honor that has come from that far surpasses the feelings of hurt and rejection in knowing that I am not the perfect person I strive to be despite my best efforts. Another learning curve I had to navigate was not to internalize these "bad parts." All the things that needed fixing felt like personal shortcomings as a direct hit to my character. I had to realize two things. First, how I feel is not always reality. Just because it's my truth does not mean it's the truth. Second, I had to ask myself a question. "What is more important, being told you need to change something or actually changing it?" I was diverting so much energy into taking things personally, leading it to decrease my confidence and efficiency, not realizing how much of a negative impact it had on my performance. I had to learn to keep myself accountable in knowing that I should not internalize criticisms because perfection for an imperfect human is a psychological set up for failure. It's been an arduous journey thus far in reaching my potential, but it has also been a greatly fulfilling one. I was scared of accountability and it felt easiest to not try my best so I had a place to shift the blame. What would it mean if I tried my hardest and still failed? Now, I am ready to go all in. I am going back to school to finish the 3 prerequisite courses to apply to Medical School. I am terrified of not being enough. Terrified of the MCAT. Terrified of being surrounded by everyone that was #1. I am now taking accountability for the fact that I acted out of fear because I realized what's actually worse than all of this is not even trying in the first place. At least when I try, I have a shot.

My goal has always centered around the idea of using my education to help others, so I decided to become a Physician Assistant. My desire for becoming a Physician Assistant stems from seeing my mother help people as a nurse. It really inspired me to follow in her footsteps as a healthcare provider. This ultimately will help me achieve my goal of helping my community, as well as financially supporting my parents. In this profession, I have the ability to treat many people but have the flexibility of working in different specialties. I want to focus on Obstetrics-Gynecology and play my part in bridging the gap of maternal mortality between different racial groups. Along with this, I am dedicated to eliminating racial bias in medicine and allowing each person to receive the help they deserve. Racial discrimination is pervasive in healthcare and is another reason why I chose a career in medicine. It was believed and written in medical textbooks that certain groups of people felt less pain than others which is an absurd notion, but that is only one example of discriminatory ideas that urge me to speak up for those that cannot speak up for themselves. Simply being a healthcare provider who wants to initiate change will contribute to the diversification of the field which is something I strongly advocate for. Playing a part of that will allow me to build a more safe, open, and inclusive space for those that need care.

Varying types of adversity have shaped me to become the person I am today and although the hardships felt insurmountable at the time, they all substantially contributed to my growth as an individual. One of the most prominent hardships in my life that I have faced is being the most disrespected person in this society, a black woman. Growing up around people that did not look like me I constantly felt out of place. My self-confidence was minimal, self-expression was stifled, and there was the looming thought of needing to be twice as good to be considered just as capable. This feeling only grew when I transferred to UC Irvine. I faced a lack of social support since I moved hours away to a school where I was part of the 2% of students that looked like me. Instead of allowing it to be a hindrance, I used it as a way to make new friends and network. I joined clubs such as: the Nigerian Student Association, the Minority Association of Pre-medical Students, and became a board member for the Black Psychology Student Association. These experiences allowed me to turn my fears into productive solutions which also helped future students find their place. Although I questioned whether I was capable of juggling all my responsibilities, I found solace in knowing that being a second-generation student and a racial/ethnic minority were more so stepping stones that allowed me to develop the grit I needed to find solutions and persevere. My desire is for undergraduates who are pursuing a degree in Psychology to know there is a space for them to learn and flourish and so far I believe my club is taking the steps to do this for our peers. We have hosted meetings and I created/moderated a panel that essentially analyzed the implications of being black and how to remain informed and motivated despite any barriers we may experience. I also spoke during an event in which I informed black individuals on campus about mental health resources and ways they can preserve their inner peace as they face personal tribulations. My club hosted a panel for black students, especially black women, on campus about safe/consensual sex. Our voices are often stifled and we felt that it was important for black women on campus to have a space where they felt safe, heard, and can seek help if necessary. Being a part of this club has given me the humbling opportunity to help other students in their personal growth and educational journey, which in turn has helped me become a better leader and advocate for black individuals.