I am a survivor. I spend every moment of every day fighting my own mind. I was born with severe chronic OCD. This resulted in severe anxiety attacks that resembled highly aggressive seizures that would last for hours. I was told that I was not capable of going to high school, college, or even holding a steady job. OCD may not seem like a serious disorder, but it can have detrimental effects. My OCD caused severe anxiety and depression. I am now in 12th grade, my last major anxiety attack was in 9th grade. I have spent every day since the day I tried to throw my life away fighting. Even when all I wanted to do was give up. I am much better, I go to school and have been accepted to college! Even so, I have apathy towards life, and there are days when I wish I had succeeded. That scares me. I want nothing more than to want to live. So I do. Even when every part of me screams to give up. I do not live for myself, but for my loved ones. I refuse to put them through pain. I have a wonderful family and life, I am excited about college. I can feel emotions other than sadness and fear now, I have a future. My life is already so much better than I ever thought it would be, and that is enough. I will live my life to the fullest because it is a gift, even when it doesn't feel like it! Thank you for your consideration.

Bravery is what I value most about myself. For a long time, I was empty, I was meaningless, the only emotion I knew was fear. I have severe, chronic, OCD, and it very nearly killed me. I would have panic attacks daily, they were highly aggressive and resembles seizures. I couldn't go 15 minutes in a class without ending up on the floor sedated, my classmates staring with horror. I had doctors tell me that unless I managed my OCD better, I was not capable of High school, college, or even holding a steady job. I just wanted everything to end. I didn't end though, I kept going, kept living, day by day. No matter how much I wanted everything to end, I pushed through. I had to be brave, I was terrified to live life because all I had ever known was fear. Slowly, I got better, I went in public, I talked to strangers, I even got into theatre! Over the years, I am proud to say because of my bravery, I now attend school every day and have been accepted to college! I am planning to study my passion, musical theatre, and perform or teach it one day! Some days are still hard, some days I don't want to get out of bed, sometimes I have panic attacks for no reason. I am still terrified of most things, to be honest, but I am learning to work through my fear. Without my bravery, I don't think I would be attending school, and certainly not planning to attend college. There are still things I am not brave enough to do yet, like have a relationship, and I know that I don't have the stereotypical teenage life. But I am living, and even learning to thrive, and a few years ago that was more than I could have ever hoped for. My bravery is the reason why I still get up in the morning, the reason I function, the very reason I am alive. I think my bravery will continue to help me with all aspects of life. Now as I am preparing for college, bravery is especially important. I plan on pursuing a career in the arts, and that means I might not always have a stable income, but I am going to be brave and hold on to my dreams. Thank you for your consideration, I really appreciate it.

I was born with OCD, it is biological. There was no cause, reason, or traumatic event, it is just there. I have always been a quiet, introverted person. I was given awards for "best Christian" or the "Citizenship award". I wish I could say that I won those because I was just a good kid, but the truth is I won them because I was terrified to mess up or upset anyone. I continued to excel in my studies. I was the picture-perfect child, but underneath lay a devious disorder that drove my every moment to be devoted to being "perfect". I had my first panic attack in 6th grade and struggled with suicidal thoughts since 5th. I was taken to a therapist and misdiagnosed with Depression and General Anxiety Disorder, which were only offshoots of the real problem. By 8th grade, I was having panic attacks that resembled severely aggressive seizures. They would have to sedate me and take me to the hospital to calm me down. It got to the point where I couldn't stay in class for more than 15 minutes at a time without an attack. I was finally diagnosed with severe chronic OCD. That summer I had my worst attack, and I survived, with a broken pelvis and a trip to a mental hospital. I was told that unless I learned to manage my OCD better I was not capable of high school, college, or holding a steady job. Through years of therapy and medicine, I am now planning to finish high school strong and pursue a degree in Musical Theatre, which is my passion. I want to spread the word about mental illness, especially the "mild" ones, such as OCD because it very nearly took my life. I want people to know that you don't have to have a reason to have a mental illness, sometimes it is just biological. Theatre has also been my therapy, and I think spreading theatre could help others who feel trapped in their lives. I want to just help others feel less alone and less misunderstood.

I developed a passion for the arts when I was at my lowest. It was my 9th-grade year and I was doing online school because I had recently had such a bad attack of my OCD that I had been in the hospital with broken hips. I was told that unless I learned to manage my OCD I was not capable of attending high school, college, or even holding a steady career. One day, on a whim, I decided to go to a theatre class. I was terrified and almost went home. But then, I got on the stage, and it was like my OCD faded away, for the first time in my life I was free from the obsessive, terrifying, and intrusive thoughts. I have pursued theatre ever since. My experience with the arts has allowed me to work through my mental illness. I firmly believe that without theatre I would not be attending high school or even considering theatre. My experience with OCD has led me to be much more open-minded and compassionate. It has shown me who my true friends are, as I lost friends because of my public seizure-like anxiety attacks. I never thought I would pursue theatre. Before theatre, I was very quiet, only speaking when spoken to. I always thought I would be a doctor or professor but when I discovered theatre I knew that it was the path for me. I still struggle daily with my severe chronic OCD. I know what it is like to want to not be here, to just fade away. But through theatre, I have found an outlet for my feelings and fell in love with life, for the first time ever. I am so sorry for your loss, I hope you find peace. Thank you for your generous contribution to the mental health and arts community. I hope you have a wonderful day. Thank you for considering me.

I have had a great life, truly, but there was a time when I could not see the joys of living. I have chronic OCD, it is a biological condition that I regulate with medicine, therapy, and theatre. OCD may not seem like a big problem, because it is seemingly invisible, but it affects every part of my life. My OCD was undiagnosed until I was in 8th grade. I had always been a perfectionist, and a rather introverted, anxious person. It started with 3 major anxiety attacks that resembled highly aggressive seizures in 9 days. After that, my OCD only worsened, I had priorly been misdiagnosed with Depression and General Anxiety Disorder, which were only symptoms of my OCD. It got to the point where I could no longer stay in a classroom for more than 15 minutes without a major attack. The summer before high school, a doctor told me that unless I managed my disorder better, I would not be capable of going to high school, college, or even just holding a steady job. I took my 9th grade year online, and while doing so, found my passion. I tried out for a play on a whim, and trust me when I say that I was the last person ANYONE would expect to love theatre. But I did, I absolutely fell in love with theatre. When I am performing, I am free, I don't have to worry about having an attack, or be just the crazy girl with OCD, I am free. I can be whoever I want to be, it is the best feeling in the world. I am now in 11th grade and still just as in love with theatre as I was 2 years ago. Through theatre, medicine, and lots of therapy, I have come so far. I went from having an attack about once a day to now being almost 3 years major attack-free. Last semester I went to school all day. It is still a struggle, I have to monitor my thoughts to make sure that I don't regress back to what I was, a shell of myself. I still have anxiety attacks, but I don't have to be sedated or held down, I work through them and they no longer last for hours. I am very proud of my progress, although I still have a long way to go. I know I will never be without my OCD, but I can live with OCD now, it doesn't control me. Maybe I will never be completely free, but I can truly see the light now.

I have always felt like a bit of a misfit, being a rather intelligent and mature introvert. I would much rather read my books than interact with my peers. I have never really fit in with my peers and have few friends because of it. It wasn't as noticeable until my severe panic attacks started in 8th grade. I was sedated and taken to the hospital by ambulance 3 times in 9 days for attacks that resembled highly-aggressive seizures. That was only the start, after those attacks I returned to school, but they continued. I spent the majority of the Spring Semester of 8th grade in the nurse's office, being held down while I had an attack. I couldn't go for hardly 15 minutes in class without having an attack, and I would have to be dragged out of the classroom and taken to the nurse's office in a wheelchair. It didn't take long for me to notice that my classmates were even warier of me than usual, they parted around me in the hallways, like I had some sort of contagious disease. I got the pity smiles and the soft voices, further alienating me from my fellow teens. I wanted to tell them that my attacks were just caused by my OCD, a biological condition in my brain that I could not control, that it wasn't contagious. I couldn't tell them though because I live in the Bible Belt, and while I am a devote Christian I know that my OCD is not Satan, they would not. I lost friends because of my disorder, I was even told by doctors that I was not capable of high school, college, or even holding a steady job. I am proud to say that last semester I went to school face to face all day and have not had a major anxiety attack since July 2018. Thank you for considering me for this scholarship!

My everything is musical theatre because it has transformed my life and is my passion. I was told the summer before my 9th-grade year by doctors that I was not capable of attending high school, college, or even just holding a steady job unless I managed to learn to cope with my severe-chronic OCD. On a whim, I tried theatre, you have to understand that I am a nerdy, introverted, quiet, and at first glance serious person, not a stereotypical theatre person. Theatre clicked, and for the first time in years, I felt like myself, I could breathe. With theatre, I don't have crippling OCD, I can be whoever I want to be, there are no severe anxiety attacks, no heavy medication, just me. Musical Theatre is the reason why last semester I went to school all day, theatre is the reason I am able to go to social events without taking my sedation meds. Musical Theatre is the reason I can live, not just survive, theatre is my everything. I especially want to go into musical theatre because I feel that you can convey so much more emotion through song than just words. I absolutely love music, I am a contralto and play the bari sax. Singing just brings me so much joy. Musical theatre is my passion. I would like this scholarship to help support my dreams of pursuing a BFA in theatre. Most of the schools I am considering cost around 40,000 a year in tuition, which I cannot afford. I want to be able to pursue the theatre program that is best for me, not just the cheapest. After college, I would love to be able to support myself with a traveling theatre group, and maybe one day Broadway! I also would like to go back to school and get a doctorate in Musical Theatre so I could teach it at the university level. This is another reason I would love a scholarship so that I can afford to go back to school.

My everything is theatre because it has transformed my life and is my passion. I was told the summer before my 9th-grade year by doctors that I was not capable of attending high school, college, or even just holding a steady job unless I managed to learn to cope with my severe-chronic OCD. On a whim, I tried theatre, you have to understand that I am a nerdy, introverted, quiet, and at first glance serious person, not a stereotypical theatre person. Theatre clicked, and for the first time in years, I felt like myself, I could breathe. With theatre, I don't have crippling OCD, I can be whoever I want to be, there are no severe anxiety attacks, no heavy medication, just me. Theatre is the reason why last semester I went to school all day, theatre is the reason I am able to go to social events without taking my sedation meds. Theatre is the reason I can live, not just survive, theatre is my everything.

I have always felt like a bit of a misfit, being a rather intelligent and mature introvert. I would much rather read my books than interact with my peers. I have never really fit in with my peers and have few friends because of it. It wasn't as noticeable until my severe panic attacks started in 8th grade. I was sedated and taken to the hospital by ambulance 3 times in 9 days for attacks that resembled highly-aggressive seizures. That was only the start, after those attacks I returned to school, but they continued. I spent the majority of the Spring Semester of 8th grade in the nurse's office, being held down while I had an attack. I couldn't go for hardly 15 minutes in class without having an attack, and I would have to be dragged out of the classroom and taken to the nurse's office in a wheelchair. It didn't take long for me to notice that my classmates were even warier of me than usual, they parted around me in the hallways, like I had some sort of contagious disease. I got the pity smiles and the soft voices, further alienating me from my fellow teens. I wanted to tell them that my attacks were just caused by my OCD, a biological condition in my brain that I could not control, that it wasn't contagious. I couldn't tell them though because I live in the Bible Belt, and while I am a devote Christian I know that my OCD is not Satan, they would not. I lost friends because of my disorder, I was even told by doctors that I was not capable of high school, college, or even holding a steady job. I am proud to say that last semester I went to school face to face all day and have not had a major anxiety attack since July 2018. Thank you for considering me for this scholarship!