I grew up with social anxiety. I was bullied at school because I was not as socially capable as my peers. There have been many times in life where I felt down, but I did not think of suicide because I always wanted to get out of that darkness to inspire people with depression. At school, my mental health was at its worst. I had nobody but my family besides me, not even a single friend. Growing up with no friends and no social life whatsoever made my mental health very bad. I was born in the United States to immigrant parents, but grew up overseas, and those difficult times were during my school years overseas. I am not as religious as my parents are, but I am a believer. I sincerely prayed for God's help and His guidance in overcoming these hardships and obstacles in life. I wanted to pursue healthcare administration since I was a little kid, so I studied hard because I could not allow my grades to slip.
Every time I was even close to thinking about taking my own life, I would look at myself in the mirror and tell myself to stay strong. I have volunteered in many different organizations such as North Texas Food Bank, my high school, my local place of worship, and in many other environmental organizations as well. I have also mentored students during my 12th grade at school who were victims of bullying. I knew so much about bullying because I had to struggle with bullying during most of my school years. I was involved in a lot of fights, and I still remember, my school principal had to call my parents over 10 times to the school. Our school principal and my supervisor and teachers as well as my peers in school agreed that my primary goal was to defend my dignity during these fights. I could not let some underachieving students take my dreams and take away the morality and respect I had to others, so I stood up for myself fearlessly. To be honest, I used to go home, and stress out so much and often cry because I am a very calm and loving person, I hate violence and fights, but sometimes I had to stand up for myself which triggered violence. One of the main reasons I got bullied is because I was not a social person, I had no friends, so bullies used to take advantage that there is nobody to stand up for me. When I was in middle school, I used to write my diary every day, not a single day I missed. Most of my days in middle school were dark, depressing, and very stressful.
During my high school years, the situation improved a little bit, but bullying did not stop until 12th grade, which is the grade I was a mentor in. I had two bullies who were bullying me the most during middle school, and one day, I was surprised to see one student who stood up for me. That student got bullied far worse than I was, and he was ripped off his dignity multiple times in front of me, because the bullies were furious that somebody finally stood up for me. Later, he became my friend, his name is " Omar ". Omar and I used to hang out together, stand up for each other, laugh together, and we used to be each other's hope until one day. One that day which I still remember very well, it was a Thursday afternoon, and we had a science class at school. Me, Omar, and the two bullies were sitting on one table, we were one group of four because our class was divided into 7 groups. Omar, who was supposed to be my " best friend ", joined the bullies against me. At first I thought it was a joke by him when he told me " We will beat you up after school today, so find us at this location if you are strong enough to fight the three of us " I looked at Omar at told him in a sense of humor " Bro, stop joking around, I am not in the mood right now " He told me " Well, you will see if I am joking around or not ". It took me a whole hour to finally realize that even Omar hated me, and he never talked to me again, instead, he took the side of the bullies. That happened just 3 weeks after he became my friend. Clearly, he was a coward, so he wanted to take the stronger side, and they became a group of three bullies, who were also underachieving.
After that day, I was in deep depression. I locked myself in my room for almost a week, I did not want to see anybody. I hated everyone in my school, I even hated people in general. I used to post my hatred of people on social media. I thought everybody in this world was evil, I even hated the most people who come from similar ethnic background as mine, because my middle school years were in the Middle East. Once I reached the 12th grade and began mentoring victims of bullying, my whole mentality changed. I have inspired and stood up for countless victims of bullying at my school. I helped them overcome depression and helped them mentally in every way I could. When we moved back to the United States last year, me, and my family, that was the day that changed my whole life. I felt so inspired that I got back to the United States, and I got to see all my relatives. I started college and felt so good and so inspired because I have left all my horrible experiences in a faraway land. My mental health today is at its peak, and that motivates me to help victims of mental illnesses.