At 5 years old, most people stick to cartoons. I, however, found something that would greatly change my outlook and shift my preference away from mindless entertainment. As a young child, I would watch Bizarre ER, a UK based series that involved unlikely emergencies. I was so enamored that I would stay up beyond bedtime. I think this natural curiosity led me to dive into new topics headfirst, causing me to be inquisitive of medicine, directing my aspirations of attending medical school to eventually become a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I was born prematurely, weighing 750 grams (1.7 pounds) at birth. I am told this greatly affected my health and development. One major effect this had was growing up with gastrointestinal motility issues, affecting digestion and causing abdominal pain. As I got older, learning more about my own health related struggles, led me to wonder if earlier detection and treatment was possible. This led to considering maternal-fetal medicine. Then, about a year ago, I got the opportunity to shadow an endocrinologist which was eye opening, leading me to want to explore reproductive endocrinology. As a doctor, I would need to be interested in teaching and explaining health concerns to a variety of people with different backgrounds and champion equitable care. My freshman year, I was given an opportunity to assist in creating a curriculum guide, teaching and explaining antiracism and its many facets. My main contributions, which I later presented at a national conference, included black maternal mortality, the historical sterilization of people of color, and intersectional-feminism. This developed a strong desire to look into healthcare disparities and how inequity in the healthcare system affects people in the modern day. During my sophomore year, I was officially diagnosed with Selective Mutism (SM). This condition hinders my ability to communicate normally, in certain situations, inhibiting speech and causing anxiety. Over the past year or so, I was able to educate myself on how to manage the condition. Having a rare disease without research based knowledge has only bolstered my understanding of what it means to be a patient. I hope to become a physician scientist who is involved in impactful research. I am prepared for the struggles of being a doctor, such as the long hours of studying, the calls, work-life balance, and managing patient expectations. I grew up with an immigrant single mother who is a successful physician. I saw that work kept her busy, often taking over her life and her friends would occasionally pick me up from daycare during a patient emergency. These events have not deterred me from my aspirations. Overall, throughout my life I have been interested in going into medicine. I hope to double major in Chemistry and Korean, which will help push me towards my goal of becoming a reproductive endocrinologist. South Korea is a global leader in assisted reproductive technology, and I hope to embark on a study abroad program in South Korea, which will further both my language skills and cultural understanding. Medicine has always been a dream of mine, and despite struggles growing up, I will continue to persevere to achieve this goal.

For many people, silence is peaceful and a valuable change from our current hustle bustle. Silence, for me however, was always a word that hit too close. It started in elementary school where I’d completely shut down when asked to participate in show and tell. I was unable to do anything when there was an expectation to speak. At my birthday parties, I couldn’t thank people for presents. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to respond or was being rude. Instead, It was almost like I was temporarily paralyzed, unable to act the way I wanted to, as if my brain was acting on its own accord. I assumed that I was the only one. The only anomaly. At the start of sophomore year, I was formally diagnosed with “Selective Mutism”, the condition that had been plaguing me. Once I had confirmation, lots of things clicked in my head. The feeling of failure, the dread of having to speak, and the comfort of being unnoticed just made sense. Over time, I realized that I had been silently coping in my own way, writing stories with abstract worlds that would weave together inside my mind. It became my expression of creativity, a comforting activity to help me wind down for sleep, but most importantly, it was a way to express the thoughts in my head that I couldn’t let out verbally. My characters were like a security blanket, celebrating with me on good days and offering support on bad days, without me having to say a word. Soon the world I had created in my head was not enough, and I needed to do more. I longed to go out to a restaurant without company and be able to order food. I needed to communicate with my driving instructor during lessons. I needed to participate in socratic seminars in English for a good grade. I pushed myself towards different activities that would help take steps in the right direction. Some were things I had already been doing like theater and music performances. However, I still struggled with one-on-one conversations. The activity that really required me to break out of my comfort zone was being a student tour guide for prospective parents. When touring families around the school, I would start with a brief introduction and enquire about their interests and walk them around while speaking on specific offerings and answering questions to the best of my ability. This required a lot of conversation in 2 hours. On my first tour, I stuttered and stumbled through my words, and with increasing experience I gained confidence. My reward finally came when a parent came back to the school to specifically thank me for giving her pertinent information. Living with Selective Mutism has been isolating and at times humiliating, as I was unable to perform simple tasks that my peers took for granted. However, as I understood my condition better, and took steps to improve, I found myself more fulfilled. Having experienced isolation, I pay attention to others and attempt to be more inclusive during conversations. I am a peer tutor and use my lunch to help students, but also to improve my confidence with speaking. I am still quiet for the most part, but now if someone calls on me, I can verbalize a coherent sentence. Pursuing higher education is important to me because I aim to be in the medical field, and even though my selective mutism has been a barrier, I hope with with gradual improvement, I will overcome the challenges associated and achieve my goals.