It was always hard for me to articulate who I was. Growing up in a conservative, Filipino Catholic household in Texas, ‘queerness’ and ‘transgender’ were words that were never made available to me. As I matured, I got acquainted with feminism and the LGBTQ+ community. And yet, I still did not have the words to completely articulate my identity. When I matriculated to the University of Houston, I began to find those words. In my first semester, Professor Liam Stone’s Intro to LGBT Studies class helped me realize that I was not alone in my experiences and had begun to identify as a Transgender Lesbian. In my second semester, I took Dr. Margot Backus’ Sexuality and Queer Theory course, where we analyzed relevant texts, and halfway through the class, we read Mark Rifkin’s article, “Romancing Kinship,” and everything seemed to click into place. With Rifkin’s analysis of queerness and how they are implemented through colonization, I began to see the connections between gender roles, Indigenous groups, and the impacts of American imperialism. In a class presentation, I mentioned the Babaylans, a group of powerful pre-colonial trans-Filipino shaman women, and Dr. Backus encouraged me to further explore their history. Later in that freshman semester, I had written dozens of pages on the Babaylans, using Rifkin’s analysis. The application of trans, queer, and feminist analytics to Babaylans have not left my studies. I later took Dr. Guillermo De Los Reyes’ Intersectionalities class, continuing to discuss Babaylans in new and intersectional ways. Because of my work in these pivotal classes, Dr. G is now my Mellons mentor, helping me to analyze the connection between the Filipino folklore monster, the Manananggal, and the Babaylans to discover how queer, femme bodies are monstrified through colonization. Now, I have found the words to articulate my identity: I am a Babaylan and I am a Manananggal. I am a hybridic monster to the histories of colonization and I am a divine priestess in my existence as a member of the Queer Filipino diaspora. Using my experiences and identity, I aim to bring light to underrepresented populations in academia. I plan to continue my research of the intersection of gender studies, Filipino Indigenous culture, and diaspora in graduate school. I am seeking to earn my Masters and/or PhD, continuing the interdisciplinary folklore and gender studies of the Babaylans and Mananaggals. My experiences as a Queer Person of Color in Texas are difficult ones to navigate through amid large White and conservative populations, attacks on the LGBTQ+ community, and anti-Asian hate. However, using newfound analysis and frameworks from the education I am receiving, I can apply my experiences in my contribution of knowledge production, especially to help other students find the words they need to articulate their identities.

It was always hard for me to articulate who I was. Growing up in a conservative, Filipino Catholic household, ‘queerness’ was a word not made available to me. As I matured, I acquainted myself with feminism and the LGBTQ+ community. But still, I didn't have the words to completely articulate my identity. When I matriculated at the University of Houston, I began to find those words. In my first semester, Professor Liam Stone’s Intro to LGBT Studies class helped me realize that I was not alone in my experiences and in my second semester, I took Dr. Margot Backus’ Sexuality and Queer Theory course. There, where we analyzed various texts, including Mark Rifkin’s article, “Romancing Kinship,” and everything seemed to click into place. With Rifkin’s analysis of queerness through colonization, I began to see the connections between gender roles, Indigenous groups, and the impacts of American imperialism. In a class presentation, I mentioned the Babaylans, a group of powerful pre-colonial Filipino shaman women, and Dr. Backus encouraged me to further explore their history. By the end of my Freshman semester, I had written dozens of pages on the Babaylans, using Rifkin’s analysis. The application of trans, queer, and feminist analytics to Babaylans have not left my studies. I later took Dr. Guillermo De Los Reyes’ Intersectionalities class, continuing to discuss Babaylans in new ways. Because of these pivotal classes, Dr. De Los Reyes is now my Mellon mentor, helping me analyze the connection between the Filipino folklore monster, the Manananggal, and the Babaylans to discover how queer, femme bodies are monstrified through colonization. Now, I have found the words to articulate my identity: I am a Babaylan and I am a Manananggal. I am a hybridic monster to the histories of colonization and I am a divine priestess in my existence as a member of the Queer Filipino diaspora. Using my experiences and identity, I plan to earn my PhD in Anthropology, continuing the interdisciplinary folklore and gender studies of the Babaylans and Mananaggals, and the intersection of gender studies, Filipino Indigenous culture, and the diaspora.