I am Nicole, an alcoholic. It took a series of events to admit it to begin the path of recovery to save my life.  Without sobriety I would not be here today. My ex became a terrifying man. I drank because I thought the altered mental status would help me get through daily life.  One night I drank too much and decided to stand up for myself but ended up hospitalized instead. A social worker appeared weeks later and took my son causing me to drink more. 31 years old and I was diagnosed with alcoholic neuropathy. Alcohol was now taking an obvious tole on my body. I needed to fight for my son and prove to the court that I was a good mother, so I enrolled in a series of classes including AA and therapy. By the first hearing, I had already completed everything they were going to require so I got him back.  Every time I consider drinking, I remember that recovery means staying strong every day, that my family is more important than drinking, my mental and physical health is required for me to do my best as a mom and as a student.  Sobriety has set me free and allowed me a second chance at life, so it is a very important word to me. Three hundred twenty- two days and counting.

When I was young I had a different opinion of the word success than I do now. I believed that success was measured by the amount of money in a bank account, fancy cars, a nice house, and other material items. Now I believe success can be determined by health, happiness, financial stability, the ability to do things that bring joy, and teaching my kids to be the best version of themselves possible while treating others with respect. The pandemic forced me to close down my lucrative business of 9 years. At first, I was heartbroken. I went crying to my grandmother about how I lost it all and how helpless I felt because it was all out of my hands. There was nothing I could do about it. The government closed my massage office because it became illegal to practice for months. She hugged me and said, “Darling, do not cry. This is a sign that you need to start a new direction in life. You may not understand now, but one day it will make sense. What else would bring you joy in life? “.I looked into her eyes with a blank look. I realized I was being foolish by wasting time playing the victim. I needed to find a new purpose in life. I confessed that I didn’t even know where to start. Beginning a new career in my early thirties would take too long to reach "success". She grabbed a piece of paper and told me to write a list of things that make me happy. A few examples I provided were; family, friends, science, helping people, financial stability, and travel. I looked at the list for days trying to crack the code of my new future. I got a call that my Grandma passed out and was in the hospital so I rushed over and remained at her bedside. The helpless feeling returned but this felt worse than losing my business. Eventually, the doctor returned and explained that they found cancer and it had spread throughout her body so she didn’t have much longer to live. I realized healthcare would be a great path but I could not be the bearer of bad news. I wanted to make a difference from behind the scenes. I took my Grandma to many appointments. They would draw her blood or take specimen samples and send them to the lab. I did some research and realized that being a Clinical Laboratory Scientist would be an incredible job that would make me happy, help others, and pursue my passion for science. My grandmother passed away and I found out I was expecting my first son. The father became abusive during my pregnancy. Then he would turn into an incredible man again. Unfortunately, victims don’t realize it is a cycle when they are deep into it. After a near-death experience, I decided to change my life. I couldn’t allow myself to fall into depression again. My son was a new start. Success to me no longer is measured by monetary figures or materialistic assets. Success is being healthy, happy, and helpful. This scholarship would assist me by covering a few classes that I need for this degree. Once I graduate, I will be able to work fewer hours and make more money so I can spend more time with my family. I will not live paycheck to paycheck so in my opinion it would be a stepping stone towards ultimate success!