"O, beware, my Lord, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on." In Shakespeare's "Othello," jealousy is described as a beast that devours those who let it consume them. In my own experience, I've found that jealousy can eat away at my relationships with my friends, my family, and myself. "...wish I didn't care... I know their beauty's not my lack, but it feels like that weight is on my back, and I can't let it go..." One of the worst parts of jealousy is that I'm aware that I'm jealous, which makes me feel guilty towards those I'm jealous of. Recently, I've discovered the truth of the saying "Comparison is the thief of happiness." I got a 95% on my statistics test, and was happy about it until I heard a good friend of mine got a 100%. As I stared at our scores, I realized I was angry. Here was my friend, happy that her hard work had paid off, and here I was, somehow angry that she'd done better than me. But then I felt cold guilt settling into my bones, because what right did I have to be angry at her? The jealousy and guilt war inside me as I turn away from my friend, so she has no idea that I'm angry at her for doing well. As I drift away, I damage my relationships with both her and myself. My jealousy is made up of voices running around my head. Why can't I be better at volleyball? Why am I the only senior who doesn't play on Varsity? Why is she prettier than me? Why don't I have a boyfriend? Why can't I be smarter? At the end of the day, on my quiet car ride home, I let those voices get the best of me, and I start to wish I was someone else. I let that green-eyed monster grow on my shoulder. "I'm so sick of myself, I'd rather be, rather be, anyone, anyone else..." In my junior year, I experienced being on the other side of jealousy. We'd gotten new coaches for the school's Play Production team, and they relied on me heavily for advice and critiques. They tried to have all of the cast have equal parts, so everyone had small parts. But I made the most of it, and played my character to its fullest. I choreographed several fight scenes and did my own stunts in safe but crazy-looking ways. At competitions, judges complimented my acting and stunt coordination left and right. Meet after meet, I would get the Outstanding Actress Award for my skills and presence on stage. One of my teammates, who had gotten a bigger part than me but wasn't working to fulfill her part, was angry about all the recognition I was receiving. She started to lash out at our teammates and break bonds with her friends because all she could focus on was trying to upstage me. While I was upset at her, I came to realize that I almost did the same thing to those who did better than me. Now, I know that jealousy will always follow me in life. But I must remember to not let that green-eyed monster take hold of me or my relationships with others. I'll work to get better at being happy for others and turning any jealousy I have into ambition to do better. Ever since I've started to look at situations from this point of view, I've been much happier than ever.

Throughout my life, my surroundings have always been loud. As the oldest of four other siblings, there is a steady, constant background noise of squeals and screeches. But every night, the noise suddenly stops. Little hands and little feet and little voices make their way to one place, and then... It's storytime. That special moment of the day, when we could just sit down and listen. Other kids had their nightlights, and I had my stories to keep me warm and safe in the darkness of night. When I search back into my memories, the first storytime I can remember featured Bill Martin Jr's "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?" My mother would always do the funniest voices for each of the animals, and I would giggle my way through the book until it was bedtime. My mother was always nicer whenever she was reading to me. Books became the things I turned to when my life got too overwhelming. Parents fighting? Read "Harry Potter." Moving to a new town? Read "The Chronicles of Narnia." "Niki, Niki, What Do You See?" I see my first comfort series looking at me. In September of my 7th grade year, I was searching the library for something new to make my world quiet. I saw something that intrigued me, and I pulled it off the shelf. "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief." And in that silence that I yearned for, a new sensation was revealed to me-The smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, the chocolate still gooey and melted from the heat. To put it mildly, I was absolutely entranced. Here was a book series about a kid who faces gods and monsters, and struggles with ADHD- just like me. Here was a character that deflected his pain with a joke- just like me. Here was a book that I could dive into whenever I heard my parents fighting. Here was a book I could read aloud to my crying siblings. Here was a book that would dry my tears with its pages and wrap me in its warm words. While reading the "Percy Jackson" series, I found that I wanted to become a Pediatric ADHD Specialist, someone who helps kids like Percy and I with ADHD issues. While scanning the shelves for my next read, a dusty cover with gold lettering caught my eye. "Pride and Prejudice." In Jane Austen's writings, I found romance, comedy, and some life lessons as well! I learned that being biased towards someone can greatly affect your future relationship with that person. If I chose my friends purely on my first impression of them, I would certainly have a lot fewer good friends. Second chances are important, because I now know that a new friendship could be right around the corner. And I know that I would want people to give me second chances too. Learning the lesson that I am not always right was a hard path, but Lizzie Bennet's journey to greater self-awareness helped me to see my own blindness to those I'd shut out previously. Books have always been my refuge, and will always continue to be. I'll endure the gloom and doom of everyday life, and do my best to refract the light that my books have given to me onto others, because who doesn't need a little more magic in their lives?

"Congratulations! You came through the District Interviews weekend with flying colors! You should be very proud! You are now considered an OUTBOUND CANDIDATE and a Rotary Youth Exchange Ambassador!" Those words were seared into my brain through the blurriness of tears. I remember screaming and bursting into a laughing, sobbing mess as my acceptance letter came through. After multiple essays, interviews, and applications, I had finally been accepted as a foreign exchange student to Japan! Even before I knew I was admitted, I started learning Japanese language and culture, because I wanted to be prepared. But even with a 500+ streak on Doulingo, I knew that it wasn't going to be enough. So, I started learning Japanese elsewhere. I use Doulingo for vocabulary, and a website called NIHONGO to learn writing/reading. For speaking and listening, I've started putting all of the shows and movies I watch in Japanese captions, so I can learn words with something familiar. I've also discovered several podcasts that teach Japanese in a fun and interactive way. I listen and practice in the little free time I have, and redo lessons several times, so I can be sure that I learned the information correctly. My exchange trip will cost approximately $8,000. I've been saving up every cent that I earn. I have set up a savings account that is purely for my trip, and money gets added to that account every time I get a purchase. As I have continued to save money, I've learned the importance of restraint and self-control. I work as a lifeguard at my local pool, and I take every shift that I can, and put in as many hours as possible. I know that coming home tired will be worth it when I see the amount of money that I've put towards my trip. I'd like to major in Clinical Psychology, and earn a specialty in Pediatric ADHD. So far, I've taken psychology through my own high school, and two dual credit psychology courses (Intro to Psychology and Abnormal Psychology) through a nearby community college. Currently, I am hoping to attend the University of Nebraska at Kearney after my exchange trip, where the average undergraduate tuition is $9,144 per year,counting standard fees, which adds up to about $27,026 for a 4-year degree. In order to come out of college with the least possible debt, I plan on applying to as many scholarships as I can be admitted into, as well as submitting an application to the UNK Honors Program. I have managed to maintain a 4.0 in my high school studies, so I surpass the requirement of a 3.75 GPA. I'm always working to stay in the top 10 rankings of my class, and I am currently sitting at 5th. My current ACT score is 26, and I'm actively studying to raise that score to a 27 or higher. The UNK Honors Program pays for room, board, books, and fees for up to 8 semesters. My two ultimate goals are to make the most of my exchange trip, and to study my hardest to become a Pediatric ADHD Specialist. I'll continue to work my hardest to fulfill my plans to succeed. As a high school senior who's ready to explore and change the world for the better, I know that sticking to my goals and following the path I've put my blood, sweat and tears into will lead me to making the future that I want.