Going through high school with crushing social anxiety, I never could imagine myself getting on a karaoke stage, despite my love for singing. Starting freshman year of college in the middle of a global pandemic, my anxiety only grew worse, making me overthink every interaction and hesitate to do anything remotely bold in front of others. However, near the end of the fall semester, sitting with a group of girls I hardly knew at an outdoor karaoke night, I felt the strongest urge to get onstage. I chose a song, swallowed my doubts, and went for it. Terrifying. Worth it.

Music is what inspires me to truly experience life. “Ends of the Earth” by Lord Huron describes wonders and sights, inviting the listener to follow to the great unknown, metaphorically or literally. This playlist is called “To Explore Life” and it is a collection of songs, by all different artists, which move me to explore, to travel, to love and live life to the fullest. Each song contains elements describing the beauty of nature, the thrill of adventure, and the importance of breaking one’s standard routine. Living by these songs, I hope never to let life pass me by.

Before Mary, I thought of community service as just another activity, a quantity of hours that may not have actual significance. Now, I know better. Last summer on my church’s mission trip to Green Bay, Wisconsin, my crew was tasked with helping Mary, an elderly woman who lives alone and needed repairs on her mobile home. We had four ‘priorities’: painting, skirting, roofing, and other repairs. Considering my goal-oriented nature, I wanted to check every priority off the list, seeing that as the best way to serve Mary. I was eager to make a plan, get to work, and start on the list. Arriving at Mary’s mobile home in a minivan of unused tools and inexperienced workers, I was instantly unsettled by what I saw. Weeds were piled in the yard, miscellaneous items were piled on the porch, and old clutter was piled in the front room so that we could hardly see through the room, much less walk through it. My anxiety subsided when Mary emerged to greet us, expressing pure relief and gratitude at our presence. It warmed my heart and replenished my determination to serve this woman. However, many obstacles, including the cluttered state of the home and a lack of materials, kept us from our assigned priorities. I spent most of my time cleaning and doing yard work for Mary, but I cherished my conversations with her most. She explicitly appreciated everything we did, but I struggled to accept that I could not fulfill our crew’s assignments, asking myself how valuable our service to Mary really was. If we failed to fix even her leaky roof, I doubted we could change her life. Although we had a week to serve her, there was too much help Mary needed. I wished I could deep-clean her house, give her a stable income, and just continue to keep her company. As I got to know Mary personally, seeing her life’s story through the window of her home’s condition, I developed a deep sorrow for her predicament. I dreaded going back to Illinois and leaving a kindhearted woman who lacked what she needed to turn her life around. Though I was disheartened, words from Mary restored my hope. In my conversation with her, she began to talk negatively about herself, apologizing for her cluttered house and everything we had to deal with. I knew I had to give her support: “Mary, there’s nothing to be ashamed of! You’re a wonderful lady, and I’m happy to help you out. We all are!” She smiled the warmest, heartfelt smile: “You know, I really appreciate you saying that, Nicole. You’re a sweet girl. You guys are really helping me turn my life around.” Seeing my comforting words affect Mary changed my perspective; although we could not fix everything for Mary, every moment I spent with her made a difference in her life and outlook on the future. I now know that every minute of companionship and every square foot of space I cleared was significant. My service could not be measured in ‘priorities’ checked off our list, but it was clear in her smiles, laughs, and gasps of joy at seeing another area cleaned that I made a difference, serving her with every act. Coming to this realization about my service to Mary revealed a broader connection. Just like Mary’s home, the Earth’s environment will never be perfect. But in the same way the actions of my crew eased Mary’s life and brightened her spirits, each person’s sustainable choices are important to preserve our environment. Knowing that even small acts make a difference, I intend to use my education and become a chemical engineer serving the environment. While I hope to make great contributions, I now know that each act of service is worth the effort.

“Make a difference in the world.” This is what teachers, pastors, and even television programs have urged me to do for as long as I can remember. As I grew from a young, eager child to a high school student, I knew I wanted to leave an impact on the world around me with my career. What I did not know was what career to choose among endless options of noble professions. However, during high school I was lucky enough to find a passion to follow. When my AP Chemistry teacher told us to find the specific heat of steel with limited materials available and no procedure, my brain came alive, signaling that I had found subject matter which truly fascinates and excites me. My love for chemistry led me to seek the advice of my father and sisters, who all majored in engineering and encouraged me to pursue chemical engineering. As I learned more about what engineers do and saw the remarkable impacts of chemical engineers in the fields of medicine, agriculture, and energy, I discerned that this career path will best prepare me to make a difference of my own. My dream is to work as a chemical engineer in the field of renewable energy, and I want to start positively impacting the environment as soon as possible. I absolutely love learning about energy production and I believe this is the perfect way for me to make a big impact in reducing the use of fossil fuels which harm our environment. Becoming a chemical engineer will allow me to synthesize my skills, interests, and sense of purpose in a field where I can make meaningful contributions. In order to do this, I am pursuing a Chemical Engineering degree with a minor in Energy Studies from the University of Notre Dame. Because I work hard and with passion, I can see my potential to make a difference unfolding before me. Already at the University of Notre Dame, I have immersed myself in the courses and extracurriculars which will best prepare me to change the world. Although I am on a Chemical Engineering track, I have already taken a class on humanity’s impact on the environment to broaden my perspective on my role and responsibility to care for the planet. I have also attended Notre Dame Energy presentations to gain a fuller understanding of energy use and procedures on our campus. With regards to career progress, I joined the Society of Women Engineers to begin networking and learning from engineers with more experience. My hard work in my first year at college has already begun to propel me towards my goals, and I intend to keep striving towards a more sustainable energy future throughout my entire life. While I work to improve methods of energy production, I will also work to improve my own habits and the sustainability of my everyday lifestyle. As of now, I follow a vegetarian diet, avoid disposable products, and recycle or compost most of my household waste. However, I know that there is so much more I could be doing to help a cause about which I am so passionate. My goal is to adopt a zero-waste lifestyle after the pandemic is over, and to teach others how and why they should reduce their carbon footprint. Although these changes may make only a small impact, each person I inspire will add to this impact, and my chemical engineering career in renewable energy should have the biggest impact of all.

Growth. Reflection. Perseverance. As the COVID-19 pandemic has continued to affect my life and the world over the past year, I have reflected on many truths, weathered disappointments and changes, and undergone tremendous personal growth. With each new season of the pandemic, I have learned something new about myself and the world around me. During the national lockdown, I learned that I needed to rest, and I learned that our world comes together when faced with hardships. An unprecedented, lengthy quarantine coincided with my last three months of high school, forcing me and everyone I knew to stay at home. After years of running from one extracurricular to the next, juggling assignments and practices and a social life, I suddenly had nowhere to be. The lack of structure was a challenge for me, and at first I found myself trying to be productive at every moment. However, over the course of the spring I learned how to rest and indulge in a full eight hours of sleep, a movie night with my family, or a day off from exercising. With this rest period came another challenge: staying connected with loved ones. In my own neighborhood and on social media, I was touched and impressed by creative ideas such as birthday drive-by parades, game nights via Zoom, and socially-distant parking lot gatherings. These gestures inspired me to reach out to others on a daily basis, staying connected in any safe way I could. During civil and political unrest, I learned what my political and ideological beliefs truly are, while I learned that political lines create harsh division. I turned eighteen just weeks before COVID-19 began spreading, so putting my life on pause allowed me to pay attention to the current issues which would influence my vote. Every evening my family watched the news together, and we had the opportunity to discuss current events. I had more time to read up on the COVID-19 pandemic, the Black Lives Matter movement, and the upcoming presidential election. The devastating pandemic actually gave me the ability to reflect upon my personal beliefs so that I could vote as an informed citizen. Unfortunately, as I paid closer attention to political news and debates, I also saw stark division and animosity between American citizens who shared different political beliefs. With so many issues dividing the nation, it is important for me to stay informed and aware. During my first semester at college with heavy safety protocols, I learned that I must take responsibility for protecting others’ health, but I learned that various people act differently when faced with such responsibilities. My roommate is a high risk individual for COVID-19, so the ever-present risk of catching COVID-19 made the social aspect of college very complicated. While I knew that many of my peers were breaking campus rules by going to parties and tailgates, I also knew that putting myself in those situations would directly endanger my health and that of my roommate. Although saying no to social outings was difficult, I learned to put the greater good of my roommate and our campus community first by doing my part to avoid the virus. As the year progressed, I saw patterns in various friends; some followed every safety protocol diligently, others were slightly more lax, while a third group completely disregarded COVID-19 guidelines. The discrepancies between how responsibly each person acted taught me that caring for the welfare of others is a duty which everyone must take personally to heart. I hate COVID-19 as much as the next person. However, through all of the strife and struggles of this year, I have been lucky enough to find many opportunities to grow. I now find myself more grounded in good habits, more intentional in my relationships, more politically active and well-read, and more thoughtful as to how my decisions impact others. My eyes have been opened to the realities of this world, how people can come together and become divided, how community members care for each other or disregard the greater good. This pandemic has truly taught me how far humanity has come, and how far we still must go.

Although I was a shy child, my education has helped me grow more comfortable working with others, to the point where I started seeking out leadership positions. I applied to my high school's senior advisory program as a junior, seeing advisory as a great opportunity to improve my teaching and mentoring skills. I was not accepted, which was frustrating and disappointing, because I believed I had a lot to offer as a leader for incoming freshmen. In place of this program, I took Psychology to fulfill my social studies credit, but I did not see the class as any potential replacement for such an incredible opportunity. About two weeks into the semester, my teacher asked me to sit next to a boy with mild autism whose current group was not working well with him, knowing that I was involved in extracurriculars where I worked with students with special needs. I said yes, happy to sit next to someone so kind and eager to learn. Despite the extra effort and energy it required, I truly enjoyed having daily conversations with my new desk partner, helping him stay on track with his work, and explaining class content when our teacher was absent. It was incredibly gratifying to go to second period every day and know that I was making a difference in someone else’s school life. Although receiving an award from my Psychology teacher was not my motivation, I was truly touched at the awards ceremony when my teacher read a page that the boy had written about me. He described me as a good friend, a good student, and a good teacher. I had never thought of myself as a good teacher; in fact, I considered this to be one of my weaknesses. Realizing how much I had grown through this experience, in addition to impacting my classmate’s life, gave me a new appreciation for education. I now see how understanding and patient every teacher must be, as well as the energy and empathy that goes into every day as a teacher. Just as my Psychology teacher knew to change our seating arrangements, I know every educator must adjust to the needs of many different students. After this experience, I admire the profession of education greatly because I know the impact that a good teacher can have on a student who is struggling. As I pursue a degree in engineering, I hope to continue helping my classmates and tutoring others, because I know I have as much to learn from teaching others as from being taught myself.