Growing up, my parents worked constantly. I was the first child dropped off at school and one of the last picked up from after school care. As the oldest of four, with an eleven year gap in the middle, money was tight. In junior high school, my family moved to a much cheaper town with an hour commute to work and school. As the eldest child, I picked up much responsibility, from late night bottling and diapering to making dinner for the family. When I turned 18 and began community college, I spent a few nights a week at a friend's house in order to attend classes as I did not have access to a car to make the hour long drive home. It was around this time that my youngest brother outgrew his toddler bed and needed a real one. Since I was away so many night a week, my parents and I agreed to give him my bed and I slept on the couch when I came home. Shortly after this, I made arrangements to move into my friend's house and pay rent to her family. In order to do this, I worked at a local drug store. My parents never had time to teach me to drive, so I relied on public transportation. This made it difficult to work late nights. Despite all of this, I managed to finish my A.S. in Early Childhood Education and went to work in the field. As I worked, I began to develop health issues that eventually became so severe that I had to stop working. I was fortunate enough to have support from friends and family through this time and managed to get back on my feet. As the first born and first generation college student, I had little financial support from my family, who struggle to make ends meet with the youngest children still at home. This has given me a strong work ethic and a sense of responsibility. Despite having little financial support, I made the decision to return to school and finish my education. I began attending classes online towards my Bachelor’s in psychology and I dream of continuing on to earn my PhD so that I can bring my knowledge back to my community. I am an enrolled member of the Coastal Band of the Chumash Nation and I have experienced firsthand the health care disparities that Indigenous people face. I strive to finish my education so that I can help fill this gap.

I have personally experienced mental health issues, both in myself and in close friends and family. When I was young I had an experience with mental hospitalization. This experience really changed the way I looked at the world. After experiencing chronic and unexplained illness for years, I eventually had a breakdown and was hospitalized. The stress of having severe symptoms with no diagnosis became too much for me to handle. This experience led me to use my voice and advocate for myself in my health care journey. Eventually, I was able to find a practioner who listened to my concerns and believed me. This led to a diagnosis and effective treatment. Shortly after my recovery, my uncle lost his own battle with mental illness and took his own life. He was a stay-at-home father of 5 while he worked on his degree in psychology. Shortly after his graduation with a Bachelor’s Degree, he took his own life, leaving a big mess behind him. He always aspired to help those in the Native American community and after his death I plan to continue on with my education so that I can achieve his goal. My uncle and I are just two examples of the great need that plagues the Indigenous community globally. I am working on my Bachelor's Degree and plan to continue on to my Doctorate in order to one day have a practice in which I can help Native people achieve their optimal wellness. I believe that wellness is a concept that encompasses both mental and physical well-being. I plan to finish my schooling with a minor in Health and Wellness Coaching in order to provide those in my community with the tools and resources to be both mentally and physically healthy. I have already begun work with a research lab at my university that assesses Indigenous concepts of belonging. This is research that I plan to incorporate into my own practice one day in working with Indigenous people. In addition to my research lab, I have been working with the Society of Indian Psychologists (SIP). This includes speaking with Indigenous people and listening to their stories. This work is a reminder to always keep Indigenous ways in mind while moving through the colonized world of academia. Through this process, I have met Indigenous people from all over the world and heard many different points of view. These personal stories have helped to bolster my understanding of what it is to be Indigenous and just how much that can differ from person to person. It also reminds me that every person who is Indigenous is Indigenous, whether they grew up on a reservation speaking their Native language or they grew up in an urban setting far removed from their history. Indigenous people have unique needs that vary from group to group as well as form person to person. Every Indigenous person is a unique individual and their experience of Indigeneity will look different from another person's, even within families. The historical as well as present trauma that is experienced by Indigenous people will vary greatly, which is why it is essential that we have providers who understand our unique needs. I see the gap in my community, having had all white providers at the local Native American clinic. I want to one day create a space in which Indigenous people can come and feel understood, heard, and above all else, respected. I plan to create a space where Indigenous understanding of health and wellness are respected and implemented in a way that is culturally appropriate and respectful.

My experience with mental health began early. Growing up Native American in an urban environment without a sense of community, I grew up longing for a sense of identity. As I grew older, this longing grew into a deep depression. As I entered adulthood, my body began to experience symptoms of chronic illness. I ignored it for as long as I could, but eventually my symptoms became so severe that I could not ignore them. I went to doctor after doctor and was unable to find a diagnosis or any relief. Many doctors questioned whether my symptoms really existed at all. This drove me deeper into my depression until suicidal behaviors led to an involuntary mental hospitalization. This changed my life. I realized that no one was going to rescue me, and that I had to be my own advocate. After my release, I began the real work of healing my mind and body. I used my voice to speak up and advocate for myself until I found a health practitioner that listened to me and found me a diagnosis and an effective treatment plan. I also worked to change my negative way of thinking and to find ways to love myself. As I grew stronger, physically and mentally, my uncle had his own struggle miles away. He took his own life, leaving behind a wife and five children. This devastated my family. It was after this that I chose to go back to school to study psychology. I want to make a difference in the lives of those like my uncle and myself who suffer from mental illness. As Indigenous people, we have unique needs that are often not considered. I have begun to learn about our history and listened to many other Indigenous people about their lives and experiences. This has given me a broad perspective on health and wellness. I believe that everyone should have access to health care that is culturally appropriate and respectful and I see a deficit in this area for Indigenous people. I plan to continue my education and get my Doctorate so that I can help fill this gap.

In my youth I struggled with my sense of identity and belonging. I grew up as a Native American in a non-Native urban environment. While I also have Mexican roots, I did not grow up in an environment with much of this culture. When I was very young I was immersed in my Native culture, going to pow-wows and cooking Native dishes. As I grew older and my family moved away from the reservation to an urban setting, I lost much of this. This left me without a sense of who I was. Other children would ask "what are you?" I would reply that I am Native American, but this was often met with questions about why I didn't fit the stereotype of a Native American, to which I never had an answer. As I grew older, this lack of identity grew into self-loathing and depression. As I entered adulthood, I began experiencing symptoms of chronic health problems. I largely ignored my symptoms until they became so intense that I had to seek treatment. As I met with doctor after doctor and recieved test after test that could not find any problems, I became more disheartened. I hated myself and now I hated my body too. After my symptoms became so severe I had to quit working, something that had given me pride and a sense of independence, I sank deeper into my depression. Eventually, I was hospitalized for suicidal behaviors. Hospitalization was a wake up call for me. I realized that no one was going to come to my rescue. It was up to me to advocate for myself and to find a way to help myself feel better. After my release from the hospital, I began the long and difficult journey of restructuring my negative thought patterns. I dedicated myself to changing negative self-talk and to living in a way that is consistent with my beliefs. I chose to look at things through a lens of positivity and to look at myself and others through this lens as well. It was at this time I lost my uncle to suicide. This was one of the biggest events in my life. It convinced me to take what I had learned and use it to help others, like myself and my uncle, to overcome their struggles rather than succumb to them. I began learning about my history and the history of my ancestors and have begun on the path towards working as an Indigenous psychologist to help others like myself who are in need.

I have personally experienced mental health issues, both in myself and in close friends and family. When I was young I had an experience with mental hospitalization. This experience really changed the way I looked at the world. After experiencing chronic and unexplained illness for years, I eventually had a breakdown and was hospitalized. The stress of having severe symptoms with no diagnosis became too much for me to handle. This experience led me to use my voice and advocate for myself in my health care journey. Eventually, I was able to find a practioner who listened to my concerns and believed me. This led to a diagnosis and effective treatment. Shortly after my recovery, my uncle lost his own battle with mental illness and took his own life. He was a stay-at-home father of 5 while he worked on his degree in psychology. Shortly after his graduation with a Bachelor’s Degree, he took his own life, leaving a big mess behind him. He always aspired to help those in the Native American community and after his death I plan to continue on with my education so that I can achieve his goal. My uncle and I are just two examples of the great need that plagues the Indigenous community globally. I am working on my Bachelor's Degree and plan to continue on to my Doctorate in order to one day have a practice in which I can help Native people achieve their optimal wellness. I believe that wellness is a concept that encompasses both mental and physical well-being. I plan to finish my schooling with a minor in Health and Wellness Coaching in order to provide those in my community with the tools and resources to be both mentally and physically healthy. I have already begun work with a research lab at my university that assesses Indigenous concepts of belonging. This is research that I plan to incorporate into my own practice one day in working with Indigenous people. In addition to my research lab, I have been working with the Society of Indian Psychologists (SIP). This includes speaking with Indigenous people and listening to their stories. This work is a reminder to always keep Indigenous ways in mind while moving through the colonized world of academia. Through this process, I have met Indigenous people from all over the world and heard many different points of view. These personal stories have helped to bolster my understanding of what it is to be Indigenous and just how much that can differ from person to person. It also reminds me that every person who is Indigenous is Indigenous, whether they grew up on a reservation speaking their Native language or they grew up in an urban setting far removed from their history. Indigenous people have unique needs that vary from group to group as well as form person to person. Every Indigenous person is a unique individual and their experience of Indigeneity will look different from another person's, even within families. The historical as well as present trauma that is experienced by Indigenous people will vary greatly, which is why it is essential that we have providers who understand our unique needs. I see the gap in my community, having had all white providers at the local Native American clinic. I want to one day create a space in which Indigenous people can come and feel understood, heard, and above all else, respected. I plan to create a space where Indigenous understanding of health and wellness are respected and implemented in a way that is culturally appropriate and respectful.