My favorite thing about Disney is the one which everyone expects: the happy ending. Something about the reassurance that, no matter what may happen, everything was going to be okay in the end brought me comfort during times in my life when it was sparse. I have always related to the character of Ariel from The Little Mermaid. As a gay man who grew up in a heavily-conservative hometown in Central California, I became familiar with the feeling of looking to the horizon in hopes of what might be on the other side. I remember being a little boy and looking at the mountains which surrounded us and wishing that I too could escape my hometown just as all of the beautiful princesses did in Disney fairytales. I collected glimpses of the possibilities for LGBTQ+ individuals in more progressive cities like Ariel's Grotto of human oddities. I so desperately longed to know what life may have looked like outside of my suffocating hometown where all I knew was harassment which was neither unique to my home nor in public. I have never been able to hide my femininity, and always chose to embrace it and appreciate it for everything that it is. I always loved that Disney, and especially The Little Mermaid, gave me a template for what I could expect from myself in life. Although I always knew to take Disney's expectations with a grain of salt, I have always been persistent in the belief that if I put in the work then I am just as deserving of any fairytale ending as any of the princesses whoever the VHS tape of my childhood living room. Just as these powerful women and their resilience transcended the television and touched the lives of the children who watched them, I will transcend the expectations of the bigots in my hometown and inspire children to pursue their fairytale endings. Disney has played a role in shaping me into the proud and strong young man that I am, and I can thank Disney princesses for doing just that. These princesses have made me into the strongest, most resilient, and most determined man in the world. In these women, I see my mother. In these women, I see myself. I was always told that I was not allowed to relate to Disney princesses when I was a child, but I see aspects of each of them in everything that I do. I am my mother's child.

I have no dream version of myself that I have created in a mental fantasy; however, I recognize the version of myself that I am determined to cement into reality as a persistent and ambitious psychologist who will give light to the underrepresented LGBTQ+ community via research.

In high school, I was enrolled in a dual-enrollment program which allowed me to receive my Associate’s degree by the end of my Senior year. I have just finished my first year of college as a Psychology major at California State University, Fullerton and will now be going into my Senior year as a 19-year-old. This is why I am proud to say that my current biggest goal is to acquire my bachelor’s degree by the age of 20. Thus far, I have maintained a 4.0 GPA and I am tremendously proud of this fact; however, it took me multiple years to learn the importance of managing academic stress to not allow my mental health to dwindle to get miscellaneous assignments submitted. I only began to recognize the harm that I was doing to myself when I realized in my senior year that I had been starving and sleep-depriving myself consistently while making myself study or work on assignments. It was my insecurities coupled with the academic stress which had manifested itself into the unhealthy and self-destructive patterns I was so accustomed to. This led to me not only losing weight at an alarming rate but also made me suffer from severe burnout. Fortunately, I have begun recovering from these unhealthy habits after struggling with them throughout high school. I am grateful to say that I have not starved myself in over half a year and I have begun therapy at CSUF. After interviews, I have been offered 3 positions at the CSUF campus regarding peer education around mental and sexual wellness. This will include advocating about different mental illnesses and potential warning signs and coping mechanisms. I will now have the opportunity to use my passion for mental and sexual wellness to spread campus recognition of mental illness and sexual violence. This scholarship would provide me with the invaluable opportunity to open my savings account for the next academic year with a substantial starting amount. I want to save up money to not only afford the costs of finishing off my Bachelor’s degree but also to be able to afford a car when I began pursuing my Master’s degree immediately after. My family does not have the financial means to afford the cost of helping me buy a car, and I do not wish to pressure them into threatening their financial stability even more than they already have. On the contrary, it is my goal to alleviate the financial stress of both my parents and my grandfather because they have all done everything possible to support me as the first-ever person in our family to move out of our hometown to go to college. Thus, I still have the responsibility of pursuing other schollarship opportunities to support myself. I will do everything in my capabilities to achieve financial independence and eventually have a job that can support me, my future family, and the family members who have helped me get to this point. Although I have been struggling to afford food and many necessities in my freshman year of college, I have had the privilege of having my entire first year of college paid by my family in loans. Unfortunately, my family cannot afford to accumulate more debt on top of what they already had before my college career so I will begin taking on 100% of the loans and debt myself. I am also expected to pay for half of my next year of college, and the entirety of my Master’s degree so it would be beneficial to begin saving money now. Thank you for considering my application!

As a gay man, the experience of attending college was both exhilarating and daunting. Exciting because it represents a world of new opportunities and challenges, but also discouraging at times because it has been difficult to accept that there is still homophobia in SoCal. Being from a very conservative town in the central valley of California, I expected SoCal to be a very open place with little homophobia; however, I have still experienced several microaggressions from my straight peers. I am no stranger to having to navigate a space that is not always accepting of who I am so this has not deterred me from my goals. I am excited to embark on this journey and take advantage of all that college has to offer. One thing that excites me the most about college is the opportunity to explore new subjects, ideas, and backgrounds. I have always been passionate about strengthening my understanding of the world around me, and I believe that college will provide me with the tools and resources to pursue these interests in an enriching and more meaningful way. I am eager to engage with new ideas and perspectives that will broaden my horizons and help me become a more well-rounded person. However, the college has also been one of the greatest challenges I have ever faced in my life. As a transfer student, this has been my first semester to ever leave my hometown. Unfortunately, I began this semester by being cheated on by my long-term ex-boyfriend, as well as being sexually assaulted while unconscious by one of my friends a week later. These events took a tremendous blow to my mental health and left me in a pit of anger and sadness for over a month. I would constantly have flashbacks to the night I was sexually assaulted and struggled to trust people. In the demanding environment of college, it was hard to maintain my grades and mental health after these events. Although I upheld a 4.0 GPA, my mental health had never been worse. It was in March when I decided that things needed to change. Before my 19th birthday, I began taking care of my mind and body as though I were caring for a dear friend. I began to show myself the same grace and gratitude within my existence that I would show to others. I try to exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, and get enough sleep to keep my body in good shape. I also prioritize my mental health by seeking out support from friends, and by taking advantage of counseling services that are available on campus. Although these strategies to maintain my health most definitely aided in pulling me out of the lowest mental pit I’ve ever been trapped in, maintaining a healthy soul is what I needed more than anything. In the middle of the semester, I went home for Spring Break and entirely cut myself off from technology so that I could do some soul-searching for a week. During that time, I learned more about myself than I ever have before and began confronting hard truths about myself. I needed to be real with myself and the mental struggles I was facing before I could begin fixing them. I am fortunate to have a supportive community of friends who aren’t afraid to have those tough conversations about mental health. Having a support system is also a crucial factor in maintaining your mental health.

The night that my father dragged me out of my bedroom closet, and I realized he was never going to be the dad that I so desperately wanted to love was an experience that has impacted my personal growth, and still lingers with me to this day. Growing up as a gay boy in the conservative city of Porterville, California, inadequacy was the embodiment of everything I ever knew. I remember the first time I ever experienced this inadequacy was at a family gathering when my father's cousin greeted me as a "maricón"--prompting many unfamiliar relatives to laugh or stare in my direction. I was 5 years old. From this point forward, this word would prowl in every dark corner of my mind as my effeminate expressions grew. From the age of 7, I was a spectacle for my peers to sneer at. I was the "fat-fag" made for prodding. This same hatred would soon trickle into my own home when my family realized that I was not simply going to "grow out" of my 'homosexual tendencies.' Being told that I was a disappointment for being too feminine and overweight to my drunken, body-building father who could encapsulate the mindset of machismo in his daily life was what cemented this inadequacy at the age of 11. By the age of 15, I had finally come to terms with the fact that no amount of prayer or self-hatred was going to make me straight. I had also begun shutting down the degrading statements my father would so blissfully make about the people in the LGBTQ+ community--my community. His alcohol-induced anger issues are what drove me to my closet that night; however, I was foolish to think that the closet could ever be a sanctuary for a boy like me. I miss the way I felt around my father before he made me scared to be around him. I thought that he was the strongest man in the world--my protector. There was a time when I genuinely believed that nothing could ever hurt me so long as he was around. As I sit here in my bed, age 19, I look back on my childhood and try to identify when my dad was broken and shabbily reassembled into my father. I always pray for his health and hope that he begins taking care of himself so that my sister and I have the chance for him to make amends with us in our adulthood. I want to heal from what he did to us and eventually forgive him so that maybe, one day, when I walk back into my childhood home I will see my dad waiting for me with a warm smile. I will always find ways to love my father, but I miss my dad in a way I could never explain. I would like to conclude this essay on a more positive note. Although the story which I chose represents one of the greatest struggles in my experience as a gay boy from a conservative hometown may seem grim, I would like to assure all who may read this that I am okay. I escaped that little town in the middle of nowhere, and now I live out and proud as a gay man in college. I have a large support system of friends who are accepting of me and my identity, as well as the most beautiful boyfriend the universe has ever hand-sculpted. I await the day that I become a dad, and can ensure that my children are no strangers to a supportive smile and open arms.

The night that my father dragged me out of my bedroom closet, and I realized he was never going to be the dad that I so desperately wanted to love was an experience that has impacted my personal growth, and still lingers with me to this day. Growing up as a gay boy in the conservative city of Porterville, California, inadequacy was the embodiment of everything I ever knew. I remember the first time I ever experienced this inadequacy was at a family gathering when my father's cousin greeted me as a "maricón"--prompting many unfamiliar relatives to laugh or stare in my direction. I was 5 years old. From this point forward, this word would prowl in every dark corner of my mind as my effeminate expressions grew. From the age of 7, I was a spectacle for my peers to sneer at. I was the "fat-fag" made for prodding. This same hatred would soon trickle into my own home when my family realized that I was not simply going to "grow out" of my 'homosexual tendencies.' Being told that I was a disappointment for being too feminine and overweight to my drunken, body-building father who could encapsulate the mindset of machismo in his daily life was what cemented this inadequacy at the age of 11. By the age of 15, I had finally come to terms with the fact that no amount of prayer or self-hatred was going to make me straight. I had also begun shutting down the degrading statements my father would so blissfully make about the people in the LGBTQ+ community--my community. His alcohol-induced anger issues are what drove me to my closet that night; however, I was foolish to think that the closet could ever be a sanctuary for a boy like me. I miss the way I felt around my father before he made me scared to be around him. I thought that he was the strongest man in the world--my protector. There was a time when I genuinely believed that nothing could ever hurt me so long as he was around. As I sit here in my bed, age 19, I look back on my childhood and try to identify when my dad was broken and shabbily reassembled into my father. I always pray for his health and hope that he begins taking care of himself so that my sister and I have the chance for him to make amends with us in our adulthood. I want to heal from what he did to us and eventually forgive him so that maybe, one day, when I walk back into my childhood home I will see my dad waiting for me with a warm smile. I will always find ways to love my father, but I miss my dad in a way I could never explain. I would like to conclude this essay on a more positive note. Although the story which I chose represents one of the greatest struggles in my experience as a gay boy from a conservative hometown may seem grim, I would like to assure all who may read this that I am okay. I escaped that little town in the middle of nowhere, and now I live out and proud as a gay man in college. I have a large support system of friends who are accepting of me and my identity, as well as the most beautiful boyfriend the universe has ever hand-sculpted. I await the day that I become a dad, and can ensure that my children are no strangers to a supportive smile and open arms.

As I sit here, becoming enveloped in the mellifluous tones of Taylor Swift's 1989 album, I am struck by the sheer brilliance of her lyricism. Every song on this album tells a story, and each one is infused with the emotion and passion that only Taylor Swift can bring to her music. But, for me, there is one song that stands out above all the rest: "You Are In Love." From the very first notes of the song, I am pulled into the delirious fantasy of love and passion. The opening lines, "One look, dark room / Meant just for you / Time moved too fast / You played it back", immediately draw me in, and I can feel the intensity of the moment set in my soul as if I were the intended recipient of the message and I just can’t seem to shake it off. The chorus truly sets "You Are In Love" apart. "And you understand now why they lost their minds / And fought the wars / And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words", sings Taylor, and I am struck by the beauty of her words. She captures the essence of love, the all-encompassing feeling that can make us do things we never thought possible in our wildest dreams. These lyrics are the feelings that we always wish the person we hold them for would recognize. The lyrics of "You Are In Love" are some of the most powerful and evocative of the entire album. Taylor's use of imagery is simply stunning, from the "dark room" that is "meant just for you", to the way she describes the feeling of falling in love as "like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall". It is a song that truly captures the magic and mystery of falling in love, and it does so with unmatched artistry. With this being stated, it is not just the lyrics that make "You Are In Love" the best song on 1989. Taylor's voice is pure magic on this track, soaring effortlessly over the instrumentation and conveying every ounce of emotion that the lyrics demand. The music itself is also breathtaking, with a dreamy, ethereal quality that perfectly captures the feeling of being in love. I used to listen to this song before I met my current boyfriend and fantasize about what it would be like to be in a healthy gay relationship in college, but now those fantasies are a reality. It feels as though I spent years upon years manifesting this future for myself by singing this song with my full chest in the middle of the night as if no one could hear me. This song was an escape from the homophobic hometown where I grew up, and now it is my reminder to live in the moment and appreciate the gift of love. Like new romantics, my boyfriend and I have been welcomed into a wonderland that tells us "You Are In Love." In conclusion, "You Are In Love" is the best song on Taylor Swift's 1989 album because it is a masterclass in lyricism. From the powerful imagery to the soaring chorus, every element of this song is designed to capture the essence of falling in love. It is a beautiful, haunting, and unforgettable track, and one that will stay with me for years to come.

Volunteer work has brought life-changing experiences into my life, both in terms of personal growth and mindset. It has given me a sense of purpose and fulfillment that I had never experienced before. The opportunity to give back to my community and make a positive impact on the lives of others has been a profound experience. Before volunteering, I had struggled with a lack of direction and a feeling of emptiness. I was unsure of my place in the world and what I wanted to do with my life. But as I began to volunteer, I realized that the act of helping others brought me great joy and a sense of purpose. When I was a child, my parents reinforced the value of gratitude and appreciation for everything that we have in life. They also taught me what it means to give back to those around me, and the importance of knowing when to self-sacrifice. As I grew older and began to volunteer more frequently, I realized how much it has changed my mindset and perspective on life. I have been exposed to people from all walks of life and have seen firsthand the struggles that many people face. It has given me a greater appreciation for the privileges that I have and has made me more empathetic and compassionate toward others. Moreover, volunteering has allowed me to develop skills that are valuable both in my personal and professional life. I have learned to communicate effectively, work in a team, and problem-solve in high-pressure situations. These skills have been invaluable in my academic pursuits and will undoubtedly be useful in my future career in the field of Psychology. Although my life has been abundant in personal growth and a newfound sense of purpose to dedicate myself to, financial struggles threaten my ability to continue my education. If I am incapable of continuing my education then my ability to dedicate myself to volunteer work will simultaneously suffer. The cost of tuition, books, food, transportation and other expenses have put a strain on my financial situation, and I am in need of financial assistance to continue my academic pursuits and continue to provide for others through volunteering. My parents already have their own onslaught of financial struggles with their joint debt and paying for my sister and me to attend college at the same time. They have informed me that they will be incapable of helping me pay for my next academic year, and thus I have begun searching for a part-time job. Even if I receive this gracious scholarship, I fully intend to still get a part-time job so that I can afford my next year of college. I am absolutely devoted to my college career, and this scholarship would help to alleviate a portion of that challenge. This scholarship would allow me to focus on my studies without the added stress of financial burdens and would provide me with the opportunity to continue delving into volunteer work head first. I appreciate your time and consideration, thank you with all my heart.

Oso was a member of my family, and a friend to those who took the time to look past his "intimidating" appearance. His chubby face meant that he forever remained a puppy in my mind, although he was already full-grown when my family adopted him. He was the biggest sweetheart of a dog that I've ever gotten the pleasure of knowing. My family never told me much about who his previous owners were, just that they were abusive people who needed to have their dog taken from them. The experiences which Oso endured with his first owner were always a mystery to me, but he carried the trauma of his experiences with him at all times. Sudden loud noises; hands moving too quickly past his face; walking up on him too quickly; these were all things that would cause Oso to snap into a totally different headspace and begin behaving violently. My family did everything they could to get him the proper help that he needed, and I would spend many nights getting familiar with that splendid companion. Over the course of the next three years, Oso would go through tremendous periods of growth and progress towards overcoming his PTSD symptoms and finally being able to live his life to its fullest. One night, when some teenagers were shooting off fireworks in my neighborhood, Oso escaped. We assume that he must've snapped into his other headspace and began panicking, thus resulting in him digging his way out. I remember that I was sitting in my room when my dad opened the door and had a look of utter distraught on his face. He told me that Oso had been shot. What I didn't know was that Oso was lying in my front yard, and my dad told me he had seen Oso walk back into our yard before falling onto the grass. The sight of my forever-puppy's fur stained with blood is still stuck in my mind. Knowing that even after he had gotten loose and been shot, he still made sure to return home is how I know he knows we loved him unconditionally. I'm just thankful that in those final moments we spent together in the grass, Oso was still Oso. He was there with us, completely and utterly, until he was gone. It still hurts sometimes when I think about the way that Oso had to leave us, but I'm grateful that I ever got the chance to have such an extraordinary companion.

To what would be the surprise of myself a couple of years ago, my older sister is my everything. With her and I only being 10 months apart, we are about as close in age as you can get without being twins. Due to this, we grew up like best friends; however, we slowly grew apart as we got older. I am very grateful to say that we have once again strengthened that bond. Unfortunately, her and I are both college students now, and my mother can’t afford to help both of us through college. I love her very much.

1. I don't deserve this scholarship whatsoever to be honest. I just wanna make a little bit of money, help me out! Do a little charity work I beg. 2. Other than getting the bare minimum done and calling it a day? Well, I guess I'll wanna do something. My main career goal is getting $1,200 off of the internet. 3. I signed up for an obstacle course one time and there was this giant wall that I had to climb over. Toughest day of my life.

My mother nor father graduated high school when my sister and I were born; however, my mother made the decision to go back to school in hopes of providing a better future for my sister and I in her early-twenties. After sacrificing countless days of our childhood, acquiring over $200,000 into student loan debt because there were no other options to pay her way, and navigating how to safe our family’s future; my mother finally felt the success of graduated college, overcoming a generational expectation and setting a new standard and goals for my sister and I. Now, with a Master’s degree and two credentials, my mother is the proud Principal of Burton Middle School in Porterville, California. Oftentimes, when the fact that my mother has managed to acquire the job position of principal comes into play, it is assumed that we are a wealthy household. Unfortunately, no level of success could eliminate the financial struggles created by my mother’s accumulated student loan debt. With that being said, it must also be taken into account that my mother has been the sole financial provider for our entire household for many years now. Both my sister and I are attending college this year, and my mother does not have the finances to support either of us; however, she also does not want us to get trapped in the same sinkhole of student loan debt which will follow my mother for the rest of her life. I have seen her sleepless nights spent figuring out how she will manage her debt and be able to change a generational standard, by allowing her children access to college. I plan to pursue a future as a child development psychologist. Although I am currently striving towards my Bachelor’s degree at San Diego State University, I will be working towards my Doctorate degree. My personal hope in pursuing this path is to give myself, my future family, and countless children who I have yet to meet a better life and that I do not obtain the kind of debt which my mother did when she shared those same goals.

As a pansexual and non-binary individual growing up in a widely-conservative town, I have gone my whole life witnessing my own "friends" and neighbors shaming people like me for simply existing. What made it worse for me was the fact that my father used to be very conservative, as many Hispanic families are oftentimes this way. This left me hearing disgusting remarks about the LGBTQ+ community within my own home, and burdened me with years of internalized-homophobia. Although I wasn't a religious child, I would pray to whatever higher being would listen that I would become straight one day because I didn't want to disappoint my family. At times, I found myself in such a dark state that I would contemplate taking my own life. It would take me years to dismantle this internalized homophobia, and eventually come out to my mother. Thankfully my mother was, and always has been, very supportive of me; however, coming out to my father was a much harder feat. I didn't know how he felt about it at first, but through time I think that he realized that I was still his son no matter what. When I was younger, hearing slurs and being physically assaulted by peers was something which I dealt with on the daily. There are still many people in my town and high school who oftentimes target me with hateful comments or actions; however, I never let any of that affect me anymore. I show them that everyday when I wake up in the morning and live my truth. I refuse to believe that I am a victim, and will always see a survivor when I look in the mirror. Now, I wish to become a child development psychologist to help adolescents in the LGBTQ+ community struggling with these issues.

I plan to make my impact upon the world through my endeavors in the field of child psychology. I have made it a constant effort throughout my short lifetime to grow and mature from many experiences which I have been blessed with; however, the hardships of these experiences have also shown me the much darker side of ones psyche. After first-handedly experiencing something such as this, and managing to overcome it, I felt as though it was my mission in life to help children and teenagers going through these things. Individuals can oftentimes be left feeling confused, trapped, ashamed, angry, or lacking of emotion when tragic events take place in their life. It is my goal in life to help these children work through the traumatic events that have taken place in their lives, and helping them realize that they are a survivor—not a victim. As a member of the LGBTQ+ community whose father was a product of the foster care system, I am keen on placing a focus on the issues of LGBTQ+ and foster care children: individuals whose unique struggles are far-too-often swept under the rug. I truly cherish the moments in my life when I have been able to leave a positive impact upon those around me, especially children, because I know that my actions can affect their futures in many inconceivable ways. Working as a tutor for middle school students in my senior year of high school has solidified the fact that I wish to become a child development psychologist. Many of the children have grown comfortable with me and sharing things that they are struggling with, whether it be in school or at home, and I can't help but smile to see how appreciative they are to see that someone genuinely cares about them.