For most of my life, I’ve seen mental health as a taboo word. A phrase that couldn’t be and shouldn’t be said much. Not because my family thought that it was bad (for the most part, they didn’t), but because of how society viewed a state of worsened mental health. And being depressed for some time, I felt like an outsider to society. Everyone else around me, especially when I was in middle school, always seemed happy. Today, I now understanding the great importance of asking this question genuinely: “How are you doing?” Like I had stated before, my mental health took a sharp turn in middle school, when everything that I thought that I wanted to be, formed by what I thought it meant to be a man or a cool person fell out of perspective. Little me who looked up to everything that my brother did, and everything that my friends were doing (good or bad), wanted to fit in really bad when I was 13-14 years old. My desire to conform, however, didn’t work out, nor did attempting to do so fulfill me. Principally, I was jealous of the bodies which other people had, I felt trapped inside my own, and even loosing a bunch of weight to “look a certain way” did not help these symptoms of a much deeper problem in my heart. This lead me into a spiral of depression, fear, worry, anxiety, self-hate, and suicidal thoughts, which crumbled my image of myself, and hurt my relationships with my family and friends. Due to societal pressure and embarrassment of my situation, I would bottle up these feelings, get angry with myself, and angry with God. This created a sense of hopelessness and a repeating cycle of jealousy and self hate within me that I never thought I would be able to escape from. This continued on, and I would try to open up sometimes, but I would either fail, or I would feel misunderstood because I thought I was alone. And when my parents, my brother, or my aunt would try and spark conversation about it and talk to me about it, I would usually shut them down, believing that they did not understand me. Even during a fun event, I would often bring the room’s atmosphere down because of the look on my face. My mom struggled, was saddened, and prayed a lot for me through this time in my life. I never thought I would escape the depression that I was in, until God worked on my heart, helped me to understand that I was made in His image, and that I was made by Him for his glory. Not only did getting an understanding of these facts help me to come out of the sadness which I was in, but I changed as a person. It allowed my relationships that I had with my family to heal, I was able to show actual love and kindness towards others, I was much more outgoing than I was before, more confident in who I was created to be, and more understanding of the fact that I may no be or look the same as everyone else, but I am still someone valuable, someone who is loved and cared for, and someone who has much to give to this world. My mental health experience has shaped my understanding of society dramatically. I now understand other people on a greater level than I did before. It is apparent that everyone wants to fit in, whether it’s at school, in the workplace, or sports: everyone is trying to be noticed and accepted. And I must disclaim that this is not a bad thing at all, because we are inherently relational creatures. However, when we start to put our identity in fitting in or being like others so they might accept us, we may become reliant on them for our well being or happiness, or we may also do things which we know can be harmful to ourselves and others in order to conform. This may cause our mental health to deteriorate if not checked, and I was only able to realize this trap by experiencing it firsthand. Now, knowing that I have a real purpose to make a difference in this life, I want to pursue a career in the field of forensics, which is what I feel called to live out my life to do to help others seek justice, and maybe even bring clarity in a time where the mental health of others can be in a terrible place. Finally, in light of my experience with my mental health, my main goal in life is now to tell others to seek Jesus, the once who calls himself the Prince of Peace in the Bible, which was the only way I found hope and fortitude in my mind. But not only does He give that, when we believe in His greatest sacrifice on the cross when He died for the sins of the world 2000 years ago, we have the opportunity to be confident in our eternal standing in the Kingdom of Heaven, which was an assurance so freeing to 14 year old me, who didn't know the reason he woke up everyday. So along with therapy, talking to others, getting needed help from understanding people in your life, and sincerely asking a friend of two “How have you been?” I believe that building a relationship with Jesus Christ is the greatest remedy to this battle in the mind we all face.

My mom always tells me “You’re a teenager, Nico; this is the best time in your life to be selfish.” I know exactly what she means: I have nobody else to take care of, so I should be trying everything, focusing on bettering myself, and living my best life. Yes, this has been some great advice which has given me a great level of freedom. But I also know that as a teen with nobody to take care of and barely any responsibilities, that this is the time to focus on myself, and to be rich and loving towards others. I believe that selflessness is something that can be done through everyday life by looking for opportunities to be able to serve others. Every single day, people are in need of others help, care, and love. I found that I could impact others by just putting a smile on my face, calling others by their names, picking up trash around my school campus, or holding the door for someone. I find that this everyday selflessness which often goes unseen, unrewarded, and may even cost you something is the selflessness which can change the world. About two and a half years ago, when coming back from practice one day, I remember seeing a homeless man on the street who we talked to that was asking for some food. My brother and I had just got some money to put gas in our car from our mom, and we were going to use the leftover to get Chipotle. After seeing this man, we felt moved to go and get an extra bowl for him. Before we got back home, we crossed the street to give it to him, and the look on his face was a blessing that no amount of money or praise could have replaced. More recently, I was coming back from physical therapy on the road one day. I saw another homeless man who was asking for some food. I originally saw him, and the light was green, and I thought in my head, ‘You know, someone else could probably get him some food and give him some money, it doesn’t have to be me.’ But the better question that I should’ve asked myself was ‘Why not me?’ As I kept on driving, I felt convicted by the Holy Spirit to take a u-turn and ask him how he was, and get him and his girlfriend some food. It was a blessing, and I was able to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ to them. Unfortunately, after I got out of my car to get them the food, my car wouldn’t start, and I had to wait about an hour for my dad to come give me a jumpstart. I could’ve looked at it as a punishment even though I did something good, but I learned a valuable lesson from the situation: you do not always get a reward for being unselfish, but doing it is the prize itself. Now that I am applying for this scholarship, I truly believe that the reward was to be able to share my experience with you reading this. Being selfless in itself doesn’t make you a good person. I’ve seen that the only way to be truly unselfish, is to follow the one who was so unselfish, he died on the cross for the whole world’s sins. By myself I am a very selfish, mean, and hurtful person. But as a follower of Him, He enables me to be unselfish because of the revelation of His love, mercy, and grace to everyone.

Three years ago my life changed in a way that I would’ve never thought before. I hated myself, and I was a depressed kid who thought his life meant nothing, until Jesus changed my life and saved me. The issue in my community is an issue that I believe is in every community in the world: the issue of sin. As a now Christian, I am fully convinced that Jesus is God, and has come to save the world of its sin, and reconcile the world to Him because He loves all of us so much that he chose to die for us! Of course, there are many other Christians who have this conviction and work to spread the word of God’s salvation. But in the sphere of influence that I have, Jesus motivates me to obey Him through playing basketball and olympic weightlifting, praying for others and my teammates, speaking to people one on one in and outside of my school, and sharing the Word of God social media. To most, sin does not seem like a problem because it is mostly a something labeled as spiritual, and is not talked about much in everyday life. However, I am fully convinced that this is the biggest problem in myself first (because I battle sin everyday), my community, and in society as a whole. As I desire to see more of the transforming power of God in my life and the life of others, I have much more work to do. And in order for this to happen I must be more bold, care less about what others think so that I can focus on my passion. It is very hard for me to quantify exactly my accomplishments, because my hope is to impact hearts. However, I pray that as I go on in my life, living in different environments, I can always expand my mission by obeying God. especially want to do this in the field of Forensics and Law Enforcement, which will help to serve justice and promote safety in the lives of people. I am definitely just a regular kid, but I know that I cannot be a crowd follower like I used to be. By following Jesus, I now have the courage to stand for what I believe in and make a difference by spreading the Good News that he has called me to spread.

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My faith has influenced my leadership style because I never had a leadership style. One thing I have learned after being saved by Christ about two years ago, is that every Christian, at some level of their life is called to be a leader. No duh right? We are called to lead souls to Christ! I was not a leader before I placed my faith in Christ. Actually, i was becoming a follower and someone who loved this world. However, now as I follow the only perfect man, I become a leader? It is very funny how that happens. My faith in Christ has motivated me to lead others towards Him. And leading and involving Jesus in everything I do is how Jesus is leading me to lead. For example, one thing that I love is being able to play sports and give glory to God too. I played football, cross country, and I am still playing basketball and weightlifting for my high school. And although I am not the best any of the sports, I pray with my teammates before practices, games, and meets. And obviously what is the point of praying and confessing Jesus with my mouth if my heart is far from Him? So not only do I want to tell people about Christ, but I pray that my actions are a representation of Him. I have also got up in-front of my classmates and preached the Gospel sometimes, when the Lord calls me to. Also, taking to people that I just see doing everyday things is also a way I have lead through Christ, and also posting videos on my TikTok and Instagram page are ways that I have led through faith. God has shown me that in every aspect I am called to be a leader: on social media, at school, at work, when I’m not doing anything, and especially when I dont want to be a leader. For me, it is not just one experience or thing that I do where I lead others to God, but everyday He is calling me to touch others, pick up my cross, and follow Him. I have not been a Christian for long, and I know that God wants me to lead through even more things as long as I am alive. My experiences spreading the Gospel has shown me that I have a call to be a lead other to Christ for the rest of my life. To live my life to the fullest, I know that I have to abide in God, and stay connected to Christ. Not only that, but it motivates me and excites me to pursue a future in criminal justice and forensics and go to school without putting a burden on my parents. This is why scholarships such as this one are important to me, and spending just a little time to write an essay talking about my Lord and Savior? Of course! Thank you for the opportunity to apply for this, and I hope that you consider me as a candidate for this!

One person who has had a significant impact on my life is my aunt. She has always been a staple in my life. Her kindness, love, and determination as a cancer survivor has had a profound impact in my life, and definitely shaped me into the person I am. Firstly, she has always been there for me. When I was younger, my brother, family friend who was like a sister to us, and her would often have sleepovers at her house. She is great at cooking and baking, and is one of the reasons why I love baking sourdough bread today. She would make us breakfast, take us out on nature walks, and often go to the park so we can play. My aunt is also a great spiritual leader. She led me and helped me to know Christ. She would pray for me especially in my time of depression and comforted me. She also leads Bible studies that I still attend too! She was always a comforting person. When I was younger, I viewed my mom as too strict. In turn, she was someone who I loved because of her leniency. And of course, one thing that I always enjoy about her is her cooking! My mom and she know how to throw down. Rice, macaroni, chicken, legumes, squash soup, spinach dip, and more. And when I eat from her, I always can taste the love in her food. Finally, her resilience as a cancer survivor, is unbelievable, and a testament for me about the healing power and grace of God. When she was pregnant with my cousin, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, and she was told by doctors that she would die in childbirth. However, they are both still here today! Through my life, she has gone through much pain, a bunch of surgeries, and I have seen the toll it has taken on her. But to see her still pursue God is inspiring to me, and helps me want to persevere with Jesus. I want to honor her through my future endeavors by being a faithful servant of Jesus Christ—wherever that may lead me— and one way I want to do that is by becoming a forensic investigator, trying to bring justice and the truth, and a scholarship like this would help me to study and become a CSI. As a follower of Christ, the truth has become important to me. And I hope to even find the truth on this earth so people can serve just punishment, and be convicted of their sin to turn around, change their mind, and come to salvation. Even if this does not always happen, this is how I want to honor and obey Jesus, and hopefully have a successful career, which I know is what she, my mom, dad, and entire family want for me, no matter the path that I take.

My plans for the future are to firstly always follow the will of God in my life, and pursue a career that has something to do with forensics. If that is being a forensic scientist, pathologist, or investigator, I am very interested in this career. Even on this Earth, I believe that God’s will is for people to be justified when they are being lied or cheated and for people to get the punishment that they deserve for their wrongdoings, and as this may lead to repentance, and change of heart. And if I get to participate in any way, such as uncovering evidence to discover the real truth of what occurred, I desire that chance. My goal is to attend a public or private school in Florida, because I am aware of the opportunities that I have to go to a good school for low cost. I know that if I work hard enough just as the Word says in Proverbs 12:11, “Those who work their land have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense,” I can attend campuses such as UF and UCF four to eight years at a lower price. However, this does not cover all of the expenses; I believe scholarships such as this one will help me cover the costs of room and board, and any other expenses I might have. As a Haitian-American kid with first generation college parents, I know that they have given their all so that I can live comfortably, attend private high school, and pursue good education. So I believe that the least I can do is capitalize on the vast amount of opportunities that lie in front of me, and work hard to obtain them. I know that living as an adult in the real world is getting more expensive day by day, so my plan is to obtain low cost or free education, diversify my income, and just have fun being able to do things that I love, and maybe even provide for my own family one day. So to me, every amount counts: whether its a $100, $600, or $10,000 scholarship, I know that it will help me pursue my dream career to help solve cases and see justice delivered. Although I am not on either side of the extreme: my parents not extremely wealthy, but I always know where my next meal is coming from, I still believe that this scholarship, if awarded to me, will help shape the future that God is drawing me to.