Raise the Four My intentions of becoming a pediatrician include both personal and larger-than-myself reasons. I do not intend on being "just another doctor". While my main goal would be to medically assess and treat those in need, it would also be to provide an example. A child's intellect and personality are the most influenced during their younger years. Going to a doctor that looks like them could be a great way to boost their courage in a world that continues to be divided by the amount of melanin we produce. At seventeen years of age, I am nearing the time where I will no longer be seeing a pediatric physician. The delivery of diagnoses will become more straightforward, autonomy becomes more prominent, and my parents will be less responsible for communicating my health needs. How direct can I be without trust? If I don't believe someone will completely understand my perspective and background, how bound am I to open up to them? Two people that share common ground will have an easier time communicating effectively than two strangers. In order to fully understand the importance of racial diversity in the medical field, we must consider factors such as language barriers and systematic racism. If a patient was not raised speaking the same language as their doctor, does that give the doctor the right to assume that the patient is exaggerating the circumstances of their condition? No, but do we have the right to force that doctor to know multiple languages? Surely that was not part of his or her's training. What better solution than to have a staff member who is somewhat or completely fluent in the same language? Some communities are designed differently. This can be based on race and the statistical likelihood of wealth based on race. People can easily access percentages that show minorities making less money than their white counterparts. Without consideration for why these gaps exist, it is easy to assume that having certain grocery stores or pharmacies nearby would not be very conducive to their living situations. Because of systematic racism, people living in certain towns have to drive further distances than sometimes helpful to get to a hospital. In dire circumstances, a person can bleed or suffocate to death in five minutes or less. Far distances do not bode well for people in danger. On the other hand, let's say these facilities are nearby. Have they been sufficiently funded? Is emergency care available? Is the quality of the care and access to resources up to code? Is there enough staff? 4 percent of doctors are African American. A majority of the 11 percent of us in this country go to a doctor that can't listen to the same stories. We cannot all talk about the way we're treated in this country without an exchange of pitiful glances or an uncomfortable atmosphere. Nevertheless, we cannot force the majority to understand the need for our resilience. What we can do is succeed. Our success in this field is the highest form of nobility and pride we can carry for the rest of our brothers and sisters. We must raise the 4.

The most important factors to any other student who is applying for college are probably tuition, location, diversity, etc. While those are definitely important to me, the first two are heavily influenced by my mother's wishes for me. Tuition-wise, it's difficult to find a scholarship based on financial aid because we make a pretty good income in this household. But that's because my mother works three jobs. She's gone in the morning for her first job from 10 am-3 pm, and she comes home to her remote job, typing away until 12 am the next morning, trying her best to ignore the ache of her back and the cries of her arthritic joints. Though there are others that may be more qualified for things like FAFSA and the Pell Grant, is it selfish for me to want to lessen the pressure she carries? I don't believe that waiting until retirement to live the life you want is ideal, and I want her to make the most of the time she has. After losing my grandmother to COVID a few months ago, my mother's eyes seem more secretive these days. She holds so much regret for not being there in the Philippines when my "Nanay" (family nickname for our grandmother) took her last moments, but it wasn't ideal with two children at home and the uncertainty of her return given travel restrictions. Being close to my mother the way she couldn't be to hers is important to me as well. Though I don't want to continue living in the bubble of my comfort zone, I also feel the most responsible for her well-being. Who's going to check that daily "make mom smile" off the imaginary fridge list? Despite all of this, I know that she wants a different life for me. Though she'll say she doesn't want me to move away, I can tell she wants me to live a life where independence dominates the everlasting presence of emotional dependence. Yet, it's still a decision I haven't quite made. Our relationship losing its closeness is what threatens me the most when I'm answering questions on my common applications. Then there's the tremendous help of my older sister's constant questioning of, "are you really leaving mom?", as if I'll never come back. On the other hand, I can tell that I'm also putting a lot of pressure on myself. Much too often, I'm reminding myself that I have to become the most financially equipped so that I can pay off my family's bills and wipe away any trace of debt so they can live their lives. But where would that leave mine? It takes most people years and years to get to a place where they can consider themselves economically "safe", especially enough to check off the expenses I claim to be responsible for. More than anything, writing this has been an epiphany. I am very grateful for the donors that asked me this question because I think it would have taken too long for me to ask myself. So, what's my final realization? I'm going to put myself first unless the people I love ask for help. They have to come to their own conclusions about how they want to live the rest of their lives before I assert my place in those plans. In the fall of 2022, due to my hard work and perseverance, I'll be attending the college that appealed the most to my character and dreams, regardless of location, expenses (I'll figure it out), and the endless list of self-imposed responsibilities.