Being transgender has impacted me in numerous ways; not only has it affected my mental health, but it’s affected my relationships and aspirations as well. As a child, I wanted to pursue a career in visual art, but as I’ve grown, it’s caused me to want to pursue a career in mental health. The struggles I’ve faced and watched other transgender people in my life face have influenced me to pursue a career as a therapist. I’ve learned to love my identity and all it has influenced me to become, but it caused me to face a lot of struggles earlier in my life. While I now know that I should just let people who don’t accept me for who I am go, I didn’t think this way at first. I desperately fought to keep relationships that were eating away at my mental health because I thought I could change their mind and make them accept me. My gender identity is a significant reason that I no longer have contact with my mother. I came out to my mother when I was twelve years old, and she responded with transphobic comments that were along the lines of "That isn’t a real thing" and "You’re just confused; you’re a girl." I desperately tried to get her to accept me for about four years after that, doing everything from writing essays on the psychology behind being transgender with reputable sources to coming out to her again multiple times to straight up begging her for acceptance. I eventually gave up and have since cut contact with her. I’ve also lost friendships over it. Some people didn’t get it and continued to use my given name and pronouns, but I’ve moved on from these people to those who love and support me as I am. My identity has destroyed some relationships, but it has strengthened others. Before I came out publicly, I came out to just my friends. Some of those friends I lost, but the ones I’ve kept have been incredibly amazing and supportive throughout my journey. They’ve done everything from switching the name and pronouns they use for me to actually helping me pick out my new name. I greatly appreciate these people; they’ve helped me get through a lot. When I did come out publicly, I faced a lot of backlash. I attend a school in a rural small town where most of the people who go there have never actually met a trans person. I was met with a lot of transphobia, which negatively impacted my mental health a lot. I fell into a deep depression, contemplated suicide, and even attempted to take my own life. But as time has gone on, I have learned to be comfortable with myself and my identity regardless of what others think, despite the transphobia I continue to face. Because of the mental health struggles I faced, I want to pursue a career as a therapist. Nobody should ever have to struggle with their mental health alone, and that is something I stand by. I don’t want another person to feel alone in their struggle like I did. I don’t want another person to lose their life to their battle the way I almost did. If I can help even one person see the light, then I will. I want nothing more than to help anyone faced with any struggle, but especially those like me.

The series that cultivated my love for anime and the one that I can watch repeatedly is the same: Death Note. There are countless reasons that I adore Death Note, which makes it incredibly re-watchable. The first is the characters; they have unique designs and big personalities. Their personality is reflected through their clever designs, and their personalities are incredibly unique and distinct without being too obnoxious. Even the characters intended to be obnoxious, such as Misa Amane, aren’t obnoxious about how obnoxious they are. Each character has a unique design and personality that separate them from not only characters in Death Note but also characters from other anime. They stand out among the crowd. The second reason is the incredibly unique storyline. Before Death Note, there wasn’t another like it. Other anime also explores the themes of death, righteousness, and corruption, but none did it quite like Death Note. They did it in a way that was unique and memorable to viewers. The third and most significant reason is the symbolism within the show. There’s so much clever symbolism used in the show, both obvious and more subtle. A more obvious example is the ending when Light runs past his old self, symbolizing the corruption that the Death Note brought upon him. A less obvious example is blue flowers, specifically blue roses. Blue roses don’t occur naturally, symbolizing Light’s unattainable goal of a utopic world. Death Note is an exceptionally well-thought-out, well-written, and overall well-made show. There’s a reason it stays one of the most popular anime in the community even after eight years.

Life can be difficult, especially when you’re an LGBTQ+ youth who struggles with their mental health. My queer identity and mental health issues have significantly impacted the course in harmful ways, but they’ve also considerably changed it for the better. Without my struggles, I never would have considered a career in mental health; I always wanted to be an artist. It’s those struggles that made me who I am and cultivated my passion for mental health, in which I’m pursuing a career. I started to struggle with my mental health when I was in fourth grade. I struggled greatly with depression but didn’t have the words to tell anyone because I didn’t even know what depression was. I struggled silently for years, my mental health growing even worse when I came out as a lesbian in fifth grade and started to face bullying as a result. It was around this time that I also developed an eating disorder that I had for years. I struggled for so long without telling anyone, and when I finally asked for help, I was ignored. Eventually, in the ninth grade, I came out as non-binary, and the bullying I had been facing worsened; everything became too much for me to handle, and I attempted to take my life because I was convinced I was too far gone to ever save. After my suicide attempt, I was admitted to an inpatient mental health care facility that helped me start outpatient therapy when I left; this is when I finally started seeing a change for the better. I was diagnosed with bipolar II and started on medication that genuinely changed my life. I found the motivation to fight the eating disorder that was slowly killing me. I finally began to see improvement in my mental health and, subsequently, all areas of my life. Seeing my improvement made me realize I wanted to do that for others. I wanted to save lives in a way that many people don’t recognize. As a psychology major and future therapist, I aim to help those like me: the people struggling with their mental health who don’t know why, the LGBTQ+ youth who have faced bullying at the hands of ignorant people, and the people who have struggled silently for so long that they aren’t even sure that they can be helped anymore. I want to help them bring light back into their lives and help them do better. I want to help them help themselves.