The title of mom comes with its own implications. Moms are caregivers, nurturing, exhausted, multitaskers, they cook, clean, fix booboos, they know where everything is, they do the laundry, the dishes, the homework. Moms remember the occasions and buy the gift. Moms know where the favorite socks are, they know how to diffuse a tantrum and what the baby needs at 2am. The title of mom encompasses so much of what my daily life entails and the beautiful extensions of me that give me ultimate purpose. Mom says I have created and birthed a human, twice. Mom says I have sacrificed my autonomy in favor of my family. Mom says that Natasha, through mitosis has become Myles and Lenox. Mom is a label that I have earned and am proud to own but also one that nearly cost me my education and future. I am a 38-year-old college senior and mother of two. I have been actively pursuing my undergrad for 20 years. Like many mothers, I have had to decide whether I work to pay for childcare OR pursue my education and a meaningful career. Us moms call this, “the grind.” Getting up every day and reporting to a job that is neither satisfying nor rewarding. Hoping that at the end of the month there’s a little leftover for a birthday gift, brakes for the car, or a new winter jacket for your child. This situation is not unique yet is often unspoken about because the job of a mother is selfless. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that my circumstances allowed me to break the grind cycle and continue my education. My break in the storm came in the shape of a global pandemic. My “grind-job” in the restaurant business came to a screeching halt. I soon found myself only half-employed with zero childcare and a whole mortgage and pregnant with my second child. My options were dwindling. I had two extraordinary breaks. One, my partner owned a rental property that had been paid off. Two, low interest rates and even lower inventory cause the values of homes to skyrocket. I sold my beloved home. Here it was, my big opportunity. Two adults, a five-year-old, a newborn and two 80 lb dogs sharing 800 sq feet, an hour away from my support system. This is what returning to my education looked like. I am fortunate to have a partner that can support us, in-laws that help with childcare, a nest egg from the sale of my home in the bank, and student loans that I can float the expense of schooling with. My sons get to watch their mom go back to school and craft a new future for their family. Today, 20 years after I embarked on my higher education journey, I have a 4.0 GPA, and have applied to 3 graduate programs for Marriage and Family Therapy. It didn’t take this long because I didn’t have the drive or the intelligence, I just didn’t have the opportunity.

Community is the network of support and resources surrounding an individual. As a latch-key kid from the age of 6, and a living independently since 17, the idea of community didn't enter my life until adulthood. In my journey to recovery from drugs and alcohol I am grateful to have a community of strong sober women. This village of sober Duennas scooped me up and loved me back to life. My relationships, self-esteem, and livelihood had all been ravaged by my addiction. I showed up on the doorstep of a women's meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous August 5, 2017, a broken person. These women showed me a new way of life. They guided me through my recovery and supported me while I cleared the wreckage of my past. For the first time in my life, I felt a sense of belonging. I was embraced and encouraged. They showed me how to be a sober mom, twice. Part of recovery is paying it forward. The way we stay sober, is we help another alcoholic achieve sobriety. The way I give back to my community is by doing exactly what they did for me, to the next person. I volunteer with rehabilitation centers; I share my personal story. I chair meetings and always answer the call when another alcoholic is in need. I sponsor other recovering alcoholic mothers and show them what I was shown. I can't say for certain where I would be if not for my community, but I can speculate. There is no doubt in my mind that the incredible life that I have today is a direct reflection of the women that taught me a new way of life. The meaning of life is genuine connection with other individuals. It is the fostering and maintaining of relationships. Who we are is contextual. Our identity is like a mobile, connecting us to our interpersonal relationships. Like in a mobile, when one part moves, the rest must move before the entire structure can settle. Our effect on our environment is what defines the depth of meaning in life. I have been accepted into three Marriage and Family Therapist programs. I look forward to earning my M.S. and working in the community. Helping individuals learn about themselves and their relationships. Their impact on their environment and its impact on them. Community is about reciprocity and support, and I look forward to giving back all that I've been given

The meaning of life is genuine connection with other individuals. It is the fostering and maintaining of relationships. Who we are is contextual. Our identity is like a mobile, connecting us to our interpersonal relationships. Like in a mobile, when one part moves, the rest must move before the entire structure can settle. Our effect on our environment is what defines the depth of meaning in life.

1.) Community is the network of support and resources surrounding an individual. As a latch-key kid from the age of 6, and a living independently since 17, the idea of community didn't enter my life until adulthood. In my journey to recovery from drugs and alcohol I am grateful to have a community of strong sober women. This village of sober Duennas scooped me up and loved me back to life. My relationships, self-esteem, and livelihood had all been ravaged by my addiction. I showed up on the doorstep of a women's meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous August 5, 2017, a broken person. These women showed me a new way of life. They guided me through my recovery and supported me while I cleared the wreckage of my past. For the first time in my life, I felt a sense of belonging. I was embraced and encouraged. They showed me how to be a sober mom, twice. Part of recovery is paying it forward. The way we stay sober, is we help another alcoholic achieve sobriety. The way I give back to my community is by doing exactly what they did for me, to the next person. I volunteer with rehabilitation centers; I share my personal story. I chair meetings and always answer the call when another alcoholic is in need. I sponsor other recovering alcoholic mothers and show them what I was shown. I can't say for certain where I would be if not for my community, but I can speculate. There is no doubt in my mind that the incredible life that I have today is a direct reflection of the women that taught me a new way of life. 2.) I am a returning student, mother of two boys, woman in recovery, reformed restaurateur, activist, millennial, world traveler, empath, writer, explorer, gastronome, conversationalist, thrifting savant, altruist, designer, sponsor, sponsee, and a person having a human experience. Exiting a 20-year career in the restaurant industry has allowed me the rare opportunity to change paths and pursue a future in the field of marriage and family therapy. Upon completion of the program, I will go on to obtain an educational certificate to enable me the option of entering the school system. In private or group practice I hope to specialize in postnatal support (few resources are available for women struggling with DMER and postpartum anxiety/depression) as well as neuro-diverse relationships. These are subjects close to my heart and places I feel there is a deficit in available therapeutic resources. I look forward to my sons watching their Mama pursue her goals and succeed in spite in adversity. It may have taken me 20 years to obtain my bachelor’s degree, but I didn’t quit. I got myself out of the restaurant industry so I could tuck them in at night and drop them off to school in the morning. Building a career for myself is also building a future for my family and I am looking forward to the journey.

The incredible life I have today, is a direct result of various therapeutic interventions throughout my life. Adolescent trauma was what first brought me to an MFT at the age of 16. In the subsequent 20+ years I would go on to use different types of therapy for different challenges. I am a deep believer in the healing and restorative properties of Marriage and Family therapy. In my own journey of recovery, therapists would help in identifying developmental catalysts and repairing relationships, both with myself and those around me. Within my personal experiences with mental illness, addiction, disordered eating and birthing trauma, the therapists that guided and treated me, helped carefully dismantle and examine all the components of Natasha. Together, with care, we reassembled her, piece by piece with a strong and confident foundation. My transformation makes me an asset to any mental health program. I empathize with those following similar paths as well as with the people that love and support them. Repairing and maintaining interpersonal relationships are challenging and MFT’s provide a valuable resource. Sitting across from an MFT, you’ve already taken the first step, asking for help. With that willingness all things are possible. Willingness and drive are characteristics that have aided me in my own therapeutic journey and are major contributing factors in my academic and personal success. I believe and trust in the process and have experienced the fruits of these attributes first-hand. Over the course of the last 5 years, harnessing these attributes, I have gotten sober, became a mother, purchased my first home, left a life-long career in the restaurant business, returned to school, and most importantly; repaired relationships within my family. An enormous part of my identity is something that shapes my interactions, behaviors and relationships but is something that can not been seen or captured in a single word. I am a Mother In Recovery, MIR. The title of mom comes with its own implications. Moms are caregivers, nurturing, exhausted, multitaskers, they cook, clean, fix booboos, they know where everything is, they do the laundry, the dishes, the homework. Moms remember the occasions, buy the gift, sign the card, dress the family. Moms know where the favorite socks are, they know how to diffuse a tantrum and what the baby needs at 2am. Moms know what snacks are peanut free, what time the soccer games are and who likes their sandwiches cut into two, and who likes them in fourths. Moms fill out the forms, sign the checks, balance the accounts, fill the cabinets, they know which day is gym and requires sneakers and which day is library and requires a returned book. The title of mom encompasses so much of what my daily life entails and the beautiful extensions of me that give me ultimate purpose. Mom says I have created and birthed a human, twice. Mom says I have sacrificed my autonomy in favor of my family. Mom says that Natasha, through mitosis has become Myles and Lenox. Mom is a label that I have earned and am proud to own but it doesn’t tell the full story. I am in my fifth year of recovery from drugs and alcohol, though the journey has been much longer. My ability to be a mother is 100% dependent upon my sobriety. Without recovery I would not have the gifts that motherhood has afforded me. In many ways the conception and birthing of my sobriety has created more scars than that of my children. To me, giving up drugs and alcohol was like waking in the morning and saying, “Im not going to breathe any air today.” It felt impossible. Through treatments centers, thousands of hours of therapy, a 12-step program and fellowship of other sober women I was able to begin a life in recovery. The stigma associated with addiction is one of shame, lack of will power and self-centeredness. It is a scarlet letter and for a woman, and mother, it is the antithesis of maternal. The truth is, getting sober is the single most important thing I ever did for my children. Staying sober is an action that I get up and partake in every day. Nothing defines my maternity as much as my recovery does. I was willing to give up air for my children to have better lives. I wake up every day and fight my natural born desire to drink and drug. I didn’t love myself enough to get sober, but I loved my first born enough to give him a mother in recovery, who is present and takes not one moment for granted. MIR is a symbol of what I have overcome. It is symbolic of the journey I will be on for the rest of my life. Being a Mother In Recovery means I choose my children over my instincts, every single day. This language is especially empowering in this day in age where “mommy wine culture” is so widely accepted. Playdates, birthday parties, end of day rewards are all saturated in alcohol. Turning down a drink offered by a fellow mom can be seen as an infidelity to the mom-club code. I have been fortunate to find a group of sober moms that share my experience. We are able to express our views in private forums such as social media groups and specialized zoom meetings. These spaces allow us to have a voice. Where the reality of our experience isn’t a selfish drunk in a church basement, constantly teetering on the verge of self-destruction. Gender polarization and societal stigmatization of addiction paint a picture not easily transformed by interaction. If I introduce myself using dominant language, “I’m Natasha and I am an alcoholic,” the resulting picture is not of a driven, caring and selfless mother. By encoding in dominant language and using the term MIR, it tells more of the story. I am a mother first, and recovery is an action. I am in it and practice it every day.

An enormous part of my identity is something that shapes my interactions, behaviors and relationships but is something that can not been seen or captured in a single word. I am a Mother In Recovery, MIR. The title of mom comes with its own implications. Moms are caregivers, nurturing, exhausted, multitaskers, they cook, clean, fix booboos, they know where everything is, they do the laundry, the dishes, the homework. Moms remember the occasions, buy the gift, sign the card, dress the family. Moms know where the favorite socks are, they know how to diffuse a tantrum and what the baby needs at 2am. Moms know what snacks are peanut free, what time the soccer games are and who likes their sandwiches cut into two, and who likes them in fourths. Moms fill out the forms, sign the checks, balance the accounts, fill the cabinets, they know which day is gym and requires sneakers and which day is library and requires a returned book. The title of mom encompasses so much of what my daily life entails and the beautiful extensions of me that give me ultimate purpose. Mom says I have created and birthed a human, twice. Mom says I have sacrificed my autonomy in favor of my family. Mom says that Natasha, through mitosis has become Myles and Lenox. Mom is a label that I have earned and am proud to own but it doesn’t tell the full story. I am in my fifth year of recovery from drugs and alcohol, though the journey has been much longer. My ability to be a mother is 100% dependent upon my sobriety. Without recovery I would not have the gifts that motherhood has afforded me. In many ways the conception and birthing of my sobriety has created more scars than that of my children. To me, giving up drugs and alcohol was like waking in the morning and saying, “I'm not going to breathe any air today.” It felt impossible. Through treatments centers, thousands of hours of therapy, a 12-step program and fellowship of other sober women I was able to begin a life in recovery. The stigma associated with addiction is one of shame, lack of will power and self-centeredness. It is a scarlet letter and for a woman, and mother, it is the antithesis of maternal. The truth is, getting sober is the single most important thing I ever did for my children. Staying sober is an action that I get up and partake in every day. Nothing defines my maternity as much as my recovery does. I was willing to give up air for my children to have better lives. I wake up every day and fight my natural born desire to drink and drug. I didn’t love myself enough to get sober, but I loved my first born enough to give him a mother in recovery, who is present and takes not one moment for granted. Being a single mother in recovery has had its challenges but it has also revealed my strengths and drive. I took a leap of faith leaving a life-long career in the restaurant industry to provide a better life for my children. I want to show them what Mommy overcame and how she persevered to provide a better future for the three of us. I have returned to school with laser focus. I achieved a 4.0 on my first semester and will be obtaining my Bachelor's Degree in May, after a 20-year pursuit. Today I am a role model for my children, and I will not stop striving for excellence.