As athletes, we put ourselves through so much mentally and physically. To do this constantly, we have to find what drives us to keep pushing to be our best. For me, it would be the fear of failure. I constantly fear that another player out there is faster than me, who is more technical than me, who has a higher game IQ than me. That fear pushes me to work hard off the field just as much as I do on the field. For some fear can hinder you from performing at your highest potential leaving you stranded in a hole where you might not be able to climb out of. It can push you up against a corner with no way out. To me, it’s one of the biggest driving forces behind my game. I have played soccer for the past 11 years and it has been filled with ups and downs. I’ve had the goal of committing to play at the next level since the seventh grade so when I tore my ACL two years ago, I was scared it was never going to happen. I knew how much I had put into my game over the years and I knew I still had so much more to give. The fear of not committing lived inside me my entire recovery process. Every time I wanted to give up, it perked up and reminded me why I needed to do what needed to be done. It drove me to push past my pain limits, to lift a little more, and to run a little faster until I was back to 100%. Overall, my biggest fear is disappointing my biggest inspiration, my parents. My parents are originally from a little country in east Africa called Uganda. They immigrated to the US in hopes of creating a better life for my siblings and me. My father hardly knew English so it was difficult for him to adjust to Southern California’s fast-paced life. They both worked themselves to the core so I could enjoy my childhood. All the money that was poured into creating a liveable life for my older siblings and me, I wanted to make it worthwhile. Every time I step onto the field, I do it for them and everything they have given me. They inspire me every day to not only be the best athlete but the best person I can be. I will always look up to them and model my core values and morals after my parents.

A pivotal point in my life in which I faced a big challenge was when I tore my ACL playing soccer in the summer of 2018. At a young age, soccer taught me how to be resilient and how to stay committed to my goals. My parents initially placed me in soccer at 7 years old because I needed something to contain all my energy. Soccer helped guide all that energy into something productive that I can work towards improving. Eventually, playing soccer spiraled into something that I know will be a part of my future as I dream to work with athletes to help them overcome their challenges. Before my injury, I was a spontaneous and adventurous 15-year-old looking forward to making new friends and exploring new foods. Post-injury I became much more introverted and defeated. Playing soccer had been my way of feeling a part of something bigger than myself. Every time I stepped onto the field that sense of adrenaline and team camaraderie overwhelmed me and kept me coming to the field time and time again. I felt resentful because I tore my ACL due to a miss-timed tackle on my part and could have been avoidable. As those negative thoughts filled my head, my character slowly started to shift. I had gone from a fun-loving extrovert who was determined to get committed to a college in her junior year, to a pessimistic and lazy introvert who no longer had the same ambition. The coming months after my surgery were unlike anything I initially expected. I expected to be motivated, commit to rehabilitation, and be back on the field in six months. That was not the case at all, I was blindsided. I was expecting the challenge, but not the excessive amount of pain. So I slowly began to give up, I stopped doing the daily exercises that my physical therapist told me were essential for my recovery. As the months went by, instead of being back onto the field in six months, it extended into a year and a half. I had single-handedly done the one thing I had thought I would never do. I sabotaged myself. Being in such a negative mental state my teammate who had a similar injury recommended to my family and me that I make a switch to her physical therapist because they deal specifically with student-athletes. I was now in an environment where I saw other athletes with similar injuries recover and continue to play which gave me the motivation I needed to become healthy. With this newfound motivation, I realized that the only way to get better physically is to conquer my mental health first. I started daily meditations and journaling which helped me separate and overcome my negative thoughts and emotions. I enrolled myself in a sport psychology program because I wanted to learn more ways to apply self-confidence on the field. Through this program, we participated in a variety of workshops aimed at practicing mindfulness on the field and I learned to reorient and weed out the negative thoughts during a game and focus on the objective at hand. I had finally found my rhythm, and although there were many obstacles, I found a way to overcome them. It was not until this injury that I was forced to learn to prioritize my mental health in order to make myself a stronger athlete. My character was tested and I’m glad I came out of this experience a stronger woman and athlete. I now have so much more confidence stepping on the field knowing I have the power to overcome any challenge that comes towards me. This confidence stems beyond the field and is ingrained in my everyday life. I am now a spontaneous, adventurous, strong, and all-around confident woman who is looking forward to all that life has to offer.