When I'd walk to my elementary school as a child, I'd pass by a house that would always catch my eye. Perhaps it was the vibrant orange color or the fact that the house resembled a mansion. My younger self would always look at the house in wonder. I never knew the people who lived there personally. Still, what happened to them will always stick with me. I was in third grade when I heard helicopters swarming over my school. I was used to hearing them but even at a young age, I felt a pit of worry growing inside me. Shortly after, my school was placed on lockdown. I remember hiding in the corner, my knees to my chest, wondering if this was a drill or if something truly happened. I wouldn't get my answer even after the lockdown was lifted. Once the school day ended, I would be picked up by my mother and we'd walk back home. That's when I saw the same house that'd caught my eye, closed off with police tape. Officers surrounded the area and that's when I found out what happened. The woman's boyfriend had shot her in her house and tried to escape. We were placed under lockdown because of how close he was to my school. Eventually, they'd catch the guy and arrest him but from that point on, I felt chills walking past that house. Knowing that a person's life had been taken from them so easily. It was a normal occurrence to see and hear crime where I grew up. Helicopters used their megaphone to alert us on how a child had been abducted or to stay indoors because a fugitive was in the area. I'd wake up to the sound of bullets piercing the wind. I do not jump up at the sound of sirens because of how often they would drive into my apartment complex. I'd feel so helpless and afraid, knowing that any day I could be a potential victim. Once in middle school, I would foster a love for science. It was my brother who would then introduce me to forensics. I knew right there and then that I wanted to pursue a career in criminal justice. In high school, I thought to myself if I would be satisfied with my life if I stayed in forensics. The answer was no. Although I loved the science of it, I wanted to be the person solving the case. The person who shows up at crime scenes like the orange house from my childhood and is a driving force in catching the culprit. I did research on careers in the field and discovered the FBI. I immediately fell in love with the career and knew that this was my calling. Shortly after, the FBI would promote their Teen Academy Program to which I would apply and get accepted. There, I'd be surrounded by Special Agents, be told their stories on how they got there, and put through mock scenarios such as surveying a room. After the program, I knew what I'd do. I'd obtain my bachelor's in biological sciences, then work for my master's in forensic sciences at the University of California, Davis. Then I'd apply for the FBI. I want to give others the reassurance that they're safe, that they can sleep without worrying if a fugitive will break into their house and target them. I also want to prove to others who look like me that we do belong in these spaces. Latinos who may have grown up in rough conditions can make a difference.

According to the CDC, I am part of the 4.4% of children living in the U.S. who have been diagnosed with depression. When I had been taken to my pediatrician for an evaluation I heard the term adolescent depression for the first time, and honestly, it sounded like an oxymoron. Adolescence should be full of curiosity and joy while depression is the exact opposite of that. Unfortunately, I was not exempt from depression. I had become a victim of it and was consumed by the sick disease. From a young age, I was always left pondering what was wrong with me. I'd look at children my age during recess and think, "Why can't I be as carefree as them?". I often believed that maybe I had done something sinful that had garnered me such torment at that age. While I should've been out playing with friends, drawing suns in the corner of papers, and laughing til my stomach was aching, I was stuck inside crying my eyes out. Desperate for an answer from a higher being as to why I couldn't be happy? Life would continue with nothing changing for me. When I reached 11th grade, I knew I would never walk the stage. When you live with depression for so long, you learn to believe that one day will be your last, you won't be here for too long. One day you'll be tired and say, "what a beautiful sunset" and breathe your last breath as morbid as it sounds. Either way, I had to play the part that I had plans for my future so as to not worry any friends or family. During club rush, one of my best friends suggested we join our school's robotics's club. I was a bit skeptical but agreed to join her. At the time, I had stopped going to therapy and my mental state was beginning to reflect that. I felt so horrible and kept thinking, "today's the day", but it never did happen because I was often staying late hours working in the robotics club. I was encouraged by my friend to keep showing up at every meeting. While at meetings, I would learn how to be more confident in myself by contributing ideas. I did so because I wanted my voice to finally be heard someplace. I would learn new skills in the engineering process and community outreach. I began forming a healthy routine too because of my involvement. Since I'd stay late after school, I'd prepare myself lunch and try to eat breakfast. The club was full of amazing people who are like siblings to me and instead of pushing people away out of fear of rejection I was welcomed by them. The club also led to finding my passion as I would soon fall in love with science, especially biology. I had met such great friends and was excited to wake up now. I'm so glad that I did continue to keep going as I'd be part of a team that would win 1st place in NEDC, 3rd place in CSI, competitions in MESA, and would be a semifinalist in FIRST Tech Challenge. I wanted to get better all in the hopes that I would be able to continue showing up at every meeting and feel like a teenager should. Joyous and carefree. Though I have and will always have depression, I was able to live alongside it instead of letting my depression live for me with the skills that I've developed with my involvement in the club.