The Pandemic brought many challenges to individuals across the globe. Because of our year's worth of distancing, for me, the greatest difficulty was allowing myself to be social again. Once school started back up, I detached myself from others and had no desire to speak up in social settings. I was afraid to ask questions at school and would only speak if spoken to. Every day I became less and less comfortable conversing with my peers and in social settings.
However, in 2022, I decided to tackle my social anxiety: my yearly goal was to become a genuine leader in my community. Early in 2022, everyone in my school band voted for leaders in each section. Because we lost so many upperclassmen members of the band due to Pandemic circumstances, multiple underclassmen were chosen as section leaders for the following year. I was one such underclassman, chosen to fill the role of flute section leader for my junior year. Upon hearing this, I realized I had an opportunity to open up and become the person I had always wanted to be; the one that was looked up to and not afraid to lead others. During marching season, I led my section through thick and thin. I was so proud of how my section grew and learned to lead not just each other, but the rest of the band.
As marching season ended and school started, I soon realized how much this helped me. I would raise my hand in class to talk. It seems simple, but such a task the year before would be unheard of. I could finally motivate my peers to perform to the highest of their abilities.
Over the summer of 2023, I was again voted head flute section leader. A second year of leading strengthened my leadership abilities; not only did I learn how to lead my section more effectively, but I also taught each of my section members how to lead once I graduated. Soon, I also received leadership positions in other clubs such as Social Media Advisor and Historian for the National Honor Society.
Not only did the decision to make me a section leader help me address my social anxiety and learn valuable leadership skills, but it also allowed me to accept myself the way I was. At the beginning of 2022, I had strived to be like other leaders who were top in their classes and admired by everyone. However, after actually taking action toward my goal, I realized that by doing the most I could to improve myself, I didn’t have to be the best of the best. As long as I was proud of who I was and was capable of encouraging others to lead too, that was all that mattered. While I did take on leadership roles, I didn’t necessarily become the cream of the crop. And rather than pushing myself past my limits to be the best (like I would have done before) I accepted it; for I was already on the path to becoming the ideal version of myself.
As Selena Gomez once said, “I am in competition with no one. I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone. I am simply trying to be better than the person I was yesterday.”
By accepting the improved version of myself, I realized I had become a better person than I would have, had I kept pushing myself to be superior. By pushing past my limits, I would have lost sight of my actual goal. I wanted to be a leader, not a competitor.