Natalie Pasdo Learning to Live Without On an ordinary Tuesday in March 2021, everything went quiet. The gut-wrenching news of my brother’s sudden death shattered everything I once knew, and the little girl that looked up to her brother in every way was suddenly lost at the attempt to piece together a life without him. I knew that death would take all of us someday, but I never once thought I would be 13 years old staring into my best friend’s casket. Losing him meant losing a part of myself - a void I never even knew could exist. Yet as time slowly passed, I began to realize that even in his absence, his love and lessons continued to shape the person I was becoming. My brother taught me so much and inspired me with his love and passion – a legacy I am determined to carry forward. While this loss broke me in ways I could never have imagined, it also provided me with a new and deeper understanding of what it truly means to live. Overwhelmed with sadness, anger, and confusion, struggling to understand how and why someone so full of life could be taken away so easily, it felt impossible to move forward. But after some conversations with family, counseling, and lots of self-reflection, I began to understand that grief isn’t something to just “get over,” but something to carry and grow through. I decided my first step of this process would be to show up at my hockey practice mainly because hockey was once my brother’s and my shared passion; it connected us and sprouted our relationship. I eventually started to find strength in doing other small things, such as getting through an entire school day, showing up for others, and just allowing myself to feel without guilt. This process led me to discover resilience I never knew I had and taught me that growth comes from facing your problems rather than running from them. Not only did I find strength within my grief, but I managed to deepen my understanding of what it really means to be empathetic better than any book, lesson, or conversation ever could. Before my brother’s passing, I only thought of empathy as simply feeling bad for someone or offering kind words to make others feel better, but experiencing grief firsthand taught me it is much more than that – it’s about being present with others in their pain, even if you might not fully understand. As I attempted to navigate my own loss, I grew aware of how many people around me might carry invisible struggles. This caused me to change how I interact with others during everyday life; I listen more, give advice, and offer my support without judgement or expectation. This shift in perspective developed my relationships and changed how I show up for others, just trying to offer the kind of compassion I once needed. As I continue through life without my best friend, I remind myself that I am lucky to have this great amount of pain because my brother was such an impactful person. He was someone who lived with purpose and always made others feel seen. I have grown and learned so many important and valuable lessons from my grief that became the foundation for my growth and shaped the values I hope to carry into college and beyond. My brother died doing what he loved most, and his contagious laugh and infectious smile will be cherished by all who were lucky enough to know him.