Since I can remember, I’ve wanted to protect the environment and the incredible animals it houses. So when I found out there was a career field that paid you to study and protect animals, I was sold. Since then, I have done everything possible to prepare myself for the path of conservation science. This included reading books, attending STEM-related clubs, and performing experiments using the microscope and science kit I had hoarded my money for. This also involved my attending multiple summer camps that focused on the topics of animals, conservation, and the environment. These camps were often held either at the Arizona Game and Fish Department or at the Phoenix Zoo. They taught their campers everything, ranging from DNA testing to animal population tracking. My passion for this career is derived from the horrific environmental issues, such as poaching and illegal wildlife trafficking, which continue to lengthen the Endangered Species List. Upon learning about these topics, I did everything in my power to raise money and awareness about the crimes; however, as a meager ten-year-old, sitting in front of my house trying to sell Rainbow Looms and handmade pamphlets didn’t get me far. When I was thirteen, I learned what a game warden was and decided that it was what I would do when I grew up, hoping I could finally put an end to the environmental crimes I had spent my life loathing. My parents were concerned about the intensity and dangers of the job, but I assured them that I would be fine. This led me to enroll in law enforcement when I entered high school. I only lasted two months before having to drop out when my mental state was hit with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. These issues had always been a part of me throughout my life, but in 2020, they became unbearable The feeling of lost control and self-hatred forced me down a path of self-harm and anorexia so I could look as frail and sick as I felt on the inside. This, of course, put me in a physical and mental state that was unfit for the responsibilities and expectations of not only a game warden but a human being. Unfortunately, I still struggle with these mental and physical issues to this day, and, despite noticeable improvements, I doubt they will ever fully go away. However, I know for a fact I'll continue to fight. My goal still is to one day find myself in a strong enough condition that I can try for my spot as a game warden once again. Watch out poachers! Until then, I will continue to learn, teach, and push for the safety and rights of the beautiful world and animals around us. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. This is why I am doing everything in my power to rise to my full potential and claim my spot in this incredible field. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I'm confident I can work with others to decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. Every plant, animal, and person deserves a life of love and happiness, but sometimes it feels impossible to achieve. So, I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of thousands of animals but also thousands of individuals, pushing them to fight for their dreams.

Since I can remember, I’ve had an unbreakable passion for animals and the environment. As a child, I’d map out my neighborhood, taking notes of the health and location of the creatures I encountered before returning the next day to see if they were still around. During school, I made it my mission to release every bug found in our classrooms carefully back outside. However, despite how fun it is to track the routes of neighborhood cats or save cockroaches from teachers’ shoes, I've always wanted to do more. My lifelong goal is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my days protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. This is why I am doing everything I can to rise to my full potential and claim my spot in this incredible field. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I'm confident I can work with others like me and decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of millions of animals but also thousands of individuals, pushing them to fight for their dreams and assuring them that they are loved, important, and worthy of success. This is something I could have benefited from as a child. Since the 2020 pandemic, I’ve found myself struggling with depression, anxiety, and OCD. These invisible illnesses had always been a part of my life, but it seemed now that they had become unbearable. “You’re not good enough.” “Nobody loves you.” “You’re nothing but a burden.” “You don’t deserve happiness.” These are just some of the thoughts that have lived in my mind for the past five years, and I’ll just say that when you cannot physically escape these negative claims repeated over and over again, it’s almost impossible not to believe them. The feeling of lost control and self-hatred led me down a path of self-harm and anorexia so I could look as frail and sick as I felt on the inside. Unfortunately, these burdened thoughts and behaviors continue to nag me to this day. However, I have finally begun to take the proper steps that I know will lead me on a more loving and stable path because I have come to realize that there is so much I want to do with my life, and that requires me to have a healthy body and mind so I can pass on more love and support to others. Life as a college student still feels like a dream. I am so proud of myself for making it this far in my educational career; however, I know that I can do more. My life as a scholar won't be ending anytime soon, for I know I've a long journey ahead of me if I want to make the positive impact I’ve always strived for. Unfortunately, this will require a significant amount of time, energy, and money. However, I, like so many others, am willing to fight for this future. There are so many wonderful paths in life that will guide you on different journeys, and these trails look different for every person. My path, in particular, is a beautiful uphill hike, for I know my passion belongs to the field of zoology and the abundance of opportunities it holds. Now, I know my path to a successful career may result in some bumps and bruises, but I, for one, am excited for the thrilling ride ahead.

When I was ten years old, I came down with a nasty case of the stomach flu and spent the entire day curled up on my parents' floor watching anything I could find on television. As I was flipping through channels, I came across PBS Kids and stopped abruptly at the sight of two men and a beautiful snowshoe hare. The show was called Wild Kratts and starred two zoologist brothers—Martin and Chris—who traveled all around the world to learn more about animals and the environments they live in. Although this series was intended for children ages 6-8, I continued to secretly watch the show well into my teen years, learning more and more about the creatures I love and what it meant to be a zoologist. Ever since that sick day, I have done everything I can to prepare myself to become a zoologist. This included reading books, enrolling in science classes, and attending multiple camps that focused on the topics of animals, conservation, and the environment. These camps were often held either at the Arizona Game and Fish Department or the Phoenix Zoo and taught their campers everything, ranging from DNA testing to animal population tracking. In the summer of 2023, I was nominated by my high school’s Environmental Science teacher to attend George Mason’s Washington Youth Summit on the Environment (WYSE). This, without a doubt, was one of the greatest experiences of my entire life, as I had the opportunity to explore George Mason’s Smithsonian-Mason School of Conservation, participate in hands-on experiments, and meet some of the most successful professors in the field of zoology and environmental biology. Not only this, but I also met so many incredible individuals who shared my love and passion for conservation! Never in my life have I ever related to a group of people more, and I am happy to say that I remain in contact with many of these individuals today. As a woman interested in science, I have come across many challenges and criticisms just because of the F on my birth certificate. During many of the camps I attended as a kid, I often found myself in a pool of boys rather than an equal distribution of sexes. This, of course, made me stick out like a sore thumb and labeled me as a target for teasing. This was the first time I was introduced to the term “gender norms”, and, to put it lightly, I despised it. When expressing my interests and dreams for the future, I was met with mixed reactions from my peers. While some thought nothing of it or were very happy and supportive of my passions, others tried to “help” me except reality, explaining that there was a good chance I wouldn’t get further in life than a bachelor’s degree before I had to settle down with a husband and kids. Luckily, my stubborn personality and intense passion for STEM prevented me from taking these words to heart. However, it hurts me to know that there are thousands of girls out there who are discouraged from finding a career in science just because of their gender. I hope that this is something we, as a community, can strive to improve. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation, and I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of thousands of animals but thousands of curious young girls as well, pushing them to fight for their dreams.

There is a photo that hangs in my parents’ room of me and my older brother jumping over an ocean wave as the sun sets majestically in the background. This has always been one of my favorite pictures, as it manages to display the utter beauty of the ocean and the endless joy it brings. As an Arizona resident, large bodies of water were never new to me because, well, they were mandatory for survival in the summer heat. And despite how fun it is to sit in a community pool with questionably hygienic strangers, I don’t think there is anything that can beat a good old beach day. I’ve gone to the same beach in Carlsbad, California, a handful of times since I was a young girl, and it is easy to say that some of my best memories come from those trips. Digging holes in the sand, boogie boarding, studying the different animals I encountered, and making the idiotic decision to stand directly underneath a crashing wave because I thought it would be fun. On second thought, maybe that shouldn’t be on my list of “Best Beach Memories”. What I love most about the ocean, however, is its attitude. Those powerful waves and gripping rip currents warn the world of its capability and prove that it will not water itself down (heh) to please us. I cannot count the number of scrapes, bruises, and gallons of swallowed salt water I’ve received from the ocean, but I always went back for more. The ocean itself has always held a special place in my heart due to its diversity and the incredible organisms it inhabits. I’ve always been an animal-lover, and these visits to the sea only encouraged this love whenever I’d find a sand crab or witness a breaching whale. I’m always ecstatic when a new documentary about the ocean and its animals is released, but I often find that excitement deflating upon realizing that many of these films are not taken seriously. Do you know how hard it is to find a documentary that doesn’t add dramatic close-ups and scary soundtracks to every shot featuring a shark? Gosh, it would probably be easier to find an oceanic whitetip yourself. I hope that with the help of dedicated and passionate individuals such as myself, there will come a day when the ocean is not seen as a mysterious and dangerous environment for humans, but as an astounding world that not only provides life to millions of marine species but also tolerates invasive creatures such as ourselves encroaching on its personal space. As I grew older and began to learn more about the horrific effects humanity has had on the ocean, a fire was lit inside of me that has, since then, pushed me to do everything in my power to make a positive impact. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. This is why I am doing everything in my power to rise to my full potential and claim my spot in this incredible field. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I am confident I can work with others like me and decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, pollution, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of thousands of animals but also thousands of individuals as well, pushing them to fight for their dreams.

Looking back on my childhood, I can't find a time when I wasn’t sensitive to certain noises. Even today, I sit away from my family during meals, cover my ears in movie theaters, HATE the sight of gum, and have to have music or television playing if I’m in a quiet room so I can’t hear others breathing. It is so difficult to explain the feelings that overcome you when unable to escape from a sound you despise. I remember crying myself to sleep when my snoring dad and I were sharing a room during family trips. I recall multiple times when I ran away from the dinner table. I remember getting so annoyed with my brother for just…breathing. But, most of all, I remember feeling so broken and misunderstood since my family and I just assumed I was being too sensitive. I didn’t learn about misophonia until I was 17 years old and watched a YouTube video from the channel Film Theory discussing the topic. Upon watching this video, I felt like a wave of answers had washed over me. Being able to put a name to this burden felt like identifying the virus that was causing an illness, allowing me to find ways to heal. I was officially diagnosed with misophonia when I started seeing a psychiatrist. She also diagnosed me with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), which helped explain some of my other sensitivity issues, such as my disgust when washing dishes and inability to wear certain clothing. After receiving this diagnosis, my family and I have worked to find the best ways to silence some of these issues. For me, this includes noise-canceling headphones, music, rubber gloves when cleaning, and soft clothes without tags. Unfortunately, situations when I cannot use any of these coping mechanisms often result in an overwhelming amount of anxiety, which often causes a panic attack. I’ve found this out the hard way during school lectures and tests. When taking the Benchmarks in middle school and the ACT in high school, it was almost impossible for me to focus properly since there would always be at least one student chewing gum. Because these were tests, no headphones were allowed, and all of the students had to test in the same room. Needless to say, this was my living Hell. Things didn’t necessarily get better in college either. Although class rules regarding headphones were less rigid, actually listening in the classroom was more crucial than ever. I dream of earning my doctorate in zoology, I must pay close attention and perform well in my classes (especially science). Unfortunately, there have already been multiple times when I found myself unable to listen to my professors because of repetitive noises from my classmates. There was a day in my Biology class when I had to leave the room and cry because there were two girls behind me who were chewing gum, and I ended up missing a good chunk of information from my professor regarding our upcoming assignment. In the future, I am hoping to spread information regarding the topic, as it is so very little known about. For one of my projects last semester, I decided to make a comic titled Internum Daemonium, depicting what it feels like in my mind with misphonia, and I had a girl come up and thank me for the realistic portrayal of these struggles. Misophonia is a silent villain that should be better addressed. I have dealt with this battle throughout my past, but despite these struggles, I refuse to let my misophonia rid me of a successful future.

All my life, I had wondered the same question: Why can’t we just be kind and accepting of one another? Why is it that, today, a handshake is viewed as a prank, a smile is seen as a crude gesture, and a simple “good game” after a match is taken as an insult? I have never quite understood this reality of our community, but as I’ve grown older, it has become harder to ignore. This, however, does not define us as a society. Ever since I was young, I have always admired those who put the needs of others before themselves, and I was determined to grow up to be like these wonderful individuals. At the age of ten, I took my first volunteer position with the organization Paw Placement. Here, I worked with the cats, cleaning their cages, socializing with newcomers, helping with vaccines, and promoting adoptions. After this wonderful chapter, I served as a summer camp counselor at the Phoenix Herpetological Sanctuary, an assistant coach at Scottsdale’s Parkour and Free-running, a referee for the recreational soccer league in Surprise, Arizona, and a teacher assistant at Countryside Elementary School. Throughout all of these experiences, I’ve learned the importance of kindness, patience, and motivation to help keep the world spinning. I have never smiled more than when I saw a loving family adopt an older cat, and I’ve never felt more proud than when a student excitedly showed me their new drawing or improved test score. During high school, I was a passionate member of our NHS program, Environmental Club, and Mental Health Club. These organizations allowed me to pursue my passion for helping others to be their best through both smaller actions (such as posting positive and motivational quotes around campus with fellow club members) and larger projects (like organizing a day to plant our school’s first garden with many incredible volunteers). I will say, however, that the thing I am most proud of was helping organize NHS’s first-ever Winter Carnival that was open to the public. I hosted a “Letters to Santa” station where participants could provide either their address or school, Santa could personally write back to them. Because the old man was quite busy that time of year, I had to deliver some of the letters to the elementary schools that many of the kids attended, and the look in their eyes when they heard Santa had written back to them was something I had never seen before. If there were a way for me to bring that spark of joy to every person here on Earth, I would do whatever it took to make it happen. This is why I am continuously looking for new opportunities to volunteer or just bring a little happiness through a smile, a compliment, or a “have a wonderful day!” My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation, and I'm hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of millions of animals but also thousands of curious individuals as well, pushing them to fight for their dreams. There will always be negativity in the world, but maybe, with time, we can decrease the amount of it. And I hope that as the years go by, there will be a day when a handshake is viewed as a polite mannerism, a smile is seen as a comforting gesture, and a simple “good game” after a match is taken as the sportsmanship we should strive to uphold.

Since I can remember, I’ve had an unbreakable passion for animals and the environment. As a child, I’d map out my neighborhood, taking notes of the health and location of the creatures I encountered before returning the next day to see if they were still around. During school, I made it my mission to release every bug found in our classrooms carefully back outside. However, despite how fun it is to track the routes of neighborhood cats or save cockroaches from teachers’ shoes, I've always wanted to do more. I dream to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. This is why I am doing everything I can to rise to my full potential and claim my spot in this incredible field. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I'm confident I can work with others like me and decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of millions of animals but also thousands of individuals as well, pushing them to fight for their dreams and assuring them that they are loved, important, and worthy of success. This is something I could have benefited from as a child. Since the 2020 pandemic, I’ve found myself struggling with depression, anxiety, and OCD. These invisible illnesses had always been a part of my life, but it seemed now that they had become unbearable. “You’re not good enough.” “Nobody loves you.” “You’re nothing but a burden.” “You don’t deserve happiness.” These are some of the thoughts that have lived in my mind for the past five years, and I’ll just say that when you cannot physically escape these negative claims repeated over and over again, it’s almost impossible not to believe them. The feeling of lost control and self-hatred resulted in me self-harming and eating as little as I could so I could look as frail and sick as I felt on the inside. Unfortunately, these burdened thoughts and emotions continue to nag me to this day. However, I have begun to take the proper steps that I know will lead me on a more loving and stable path because I have come to realize that there is so much I want to do with my life, and that requires me to have a healthy body and mind so I can give my love and support to others. Life as a college scholar still feels like a dream. I am so proud of myself for making it this far in my educational career; however, I know that I can do more. My life as a scholar won't be ending anytime soon, for I know I have a long journey ahead if I want to make the positive impact I’ve always wanted to. Unfortunately, this is going to take an abundance of time, energy, and money, but I, like so many others, am willing to fight for this future. There are so many wonderful paths in life that will guide you on different journeys, and these trails look different for every person. My path, in particular, is a beautiful uphill hike, for I know my passion belongs to the field of zoology and the abundance of opportunities it holds. Now, I know my path to a successful career may result in some bumps and bruises, but I, for one, am excited for the thrilling ride ahead.

Since I can remember, I’ve had an unbreakable passion for animals and the environment. As a child, I’d map out my neighborhood, taking notes of the health and location of the creatures I encountered before returning the next day to see if they were still around. During school, I made it my mission to release every bug found in our classrooms carefully back outside. However, despite how fun it is to track the routes of neighborhood cats or save cockroaches from teachers’ shoes, I've always wanted to do more. I dream to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. This is why I am doing everything I can to rise to my full potential and claim my spot in this incredible field. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I'm confident I can work with others like me and decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of millions of animals but also thousands of individuals as well, pushing them to fight for their dreams. Though I must admit when I say this, I am more focused on inspiring young girls who wish to pursue a future in STEM because, although the mistreatment of career women has improved drastically, there are still multiple accounts of discrimination, harassment, and divided pay between men and women. As a young woman myself, I've come across many challenges and criticisms when expressing my passion for science just because of the F on my birth certificate. To be completely honest, I couldn’t care less about what these people said because I knew for a fact that science was what I was meant to pursue, and I wasn’t about to let any gender norms force me into a life I didn’t want to live. However, it still hurts me to know that there are millions of girls out there who are discouraged from finding a career in science just because of their gender. Fortunately, thousands of incredible women scientists are proving that the world of STEM is accessible to all. Figures such as Jane Goodall and Terri Irwin are who kept me motivated during conflicting times, so if I can provide that same support for one person, I’d be elated. For me, going to college means I have succeeded in the goal that I set at the age of six. As of now, I am so proud of myself for being able to make it this far in my educational career; however, I know that I can (and need to) do more. My life as a scholar will not end anytime soon, for I know I have a long journey ahead of me if I want to make the positive impact I’ve always wanted to. Unfortunately, this is going to take an abundance of time, energy, and money, but I, like so many others, am willing to fight for this future. There are so many wonderful paths in life that will guide you on different journeys, and these trails look different for every person. My path, in particular, is a beautiful, clear, uphill hike, for I know my passion belongs to the field of zoology and the abundance of opportunities it holds. Now, I know my path to a successful career may result in some bumps and bruises, but I, for one, am excited for the thrilling ride ahead.

If I could travel back in time and speak to my twelve-year-old self, I’d tell her this: “I need you always to remember you’re enough. The journey ahead is a brutal battle; I’ll tell you that. But there are so many people you can turn to, so many people who love you. I promise you, Natalie, there is nothing in this world you cannot defeat to obtain the happiness you deserve.” But until we finally manage to build the first-ever hot tub time machine, I guess that plan will have to wait. I began my teenage years with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. At the time, I struggled to understand what I was going through, believing that I was just being a typical, dramatic teenager who was experiencing a big change in hormones. And although puberty did play a part in some of my struggles (I mean, who doesn’t struggle with puberty?), it was far from the only reason for my dramatic decrease in happiness and mental stability. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I sought out help for some of my problems. After about two years of therapy, I found myself feeling more stable in some areas of my mental health but even worse off in others. Although the amount of my panic attacks had reduced, I was still self-harming, restricting my food, and drowning in self-loathing thoughts. These burdened beliefs ultimately caused me to be admitted to a hospital for four days after I attempted to end my life at eighteen. I felt so stupid for ever pulling a stunt like this, resulting in a traumatic memory and staggering bill for my family. My parents had just paid off the hospital bill from when my mother broke her wrist five years ago, and now I had just replaced it. However, I plan to help pay off that bill myself because my family has done so much for me, and I cannot leave them struggling to clean up the mess I made. Unfortunately, these burdened thoughts and emotions continue to nag me to this day. Despite these struggles, however, I have begun to take the proper steps that I know will lead me on a more loving and stable path, because I have come to realize that there is so much I want to do with my life; and that requires me to have a healthy body and mind so I can give my love and support to others. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. Since I can remember, I’ve wanted to protect the environment and the incredible animals it houses. So when I found out there was a career field that paid you to study and protect animals, I was sold. Since then, I have done everything possible to prepare myself for the path of conservation science. This included reading books, attending STEM-related clubs, and performing experiments using the microscope and science kit I had hoarded my money for. This also involved my attending multiple summer camps that focused on the topics of animals, conservation, and the environment. These camps were often held either at the Arizona Game and Fish Department or at the Phoenix Zoo, and they taught their campers everything, ranging from DNA testing to animal population tracking. I cannot express the amount of gratitude I have for my parents for allowing me to take part in these organizations, because these experiences have only fueled my passion and motivation for helping protect animals and the environment. This kind of information led me to research how to become a game warden. Right before high school, I had decided that it would be the career I’d pursue when I grew up, hoping I could finally put an end to the environmental crimes I had spent my life loathing. This led me to enroll in law enforcement when I entered high school. It only lasted two months before I had to drop out when my mental health issues (as said earlier) ultimately led me down a road of anorexia and self-harm that put me in a state that was unfit for the responsibilities and expectations of not only a game warden but a human being. Though I will not let the past paint over my future, as I know for a fact I'll continue to fight. My goal still is to one day find myself in a strong enough condition that I can try for my spot as a game warden once again. But still, until I am physically able to take on the role of a game warden, I will continue to learn, teach, and push for the safety and rights of the beautiful world and animals around us. And I am so happy to know that I am not alone in this field of determination. My biggest accomplishment regarding my experience in STEM, however, came in the summer of 2023 when I was nominated by my high school’s Environmental Science teacher to attend George Mason’s Washington Youth Summit on the Environment (WYSE). This, without a doubt, was one of the greatest experiences of my entire life, as I had the opportunity to explore George Mason’s Smithsonian-Mason School of Conservation, participate in hands-on experiments, and meet some of the most successful professors in the field of zoology and environmental biology. Not only this, but I also met so many incredible individuals who shared my love and passion for conservation! Never in my life have I ever related to a group of people more, and I am happy to say that I remain in contact with many of these individuals today. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I am confident I can work with others like me and decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. I’m also hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of millions of animals but also thousands of individuals, pushing them to fight for their dreams. Things haven’t been the same since my trip to the hospital, but all I can say is I am so grateful that I am still here today, for I know the experience will continue to motivate me to do as much as I can to ensure every human and animal I encounter lives a happy and healthy life. It is so important to spread kindness and support to those around you because, well, you never know who just might need it the most. So, to the person reading this, I need you to always remember you’re enough. The journey ahead is a brutal battle, but there are so many people you can turn to, so many people who love you. I promise you there is nothing in this world you cannot defeat to obtain the happiness you deserve. Now and then, I wonder if I am on the right path in life. I worry about the future and the bumps and cracks ahead. I ponder the possibility of taking an easier route that guarantees a life of prosperity. But will that trail grant me happiness? Will that path gift me satisfaction? Will that road bring me to my vision of success? The answer is always no. So, I turn my back against these toxic temptations and continue walking further along this path, my path. There are no more cracks, regrets, and expectations. It is only me, myself, and I on this wonderful journey to reunite with the person I want to be. It won’t be a flawless trip, though. I’ll annoy some, but I’ll provide happiness to others. I know I’ll make mistakes because I’m not perfect, and I never will be. But I don’t want to be perfect, for that is not normal. I’ll trip and fall; I’ll apologize profusely; I’ll look back multiple times and question the choices I’ve made today, but that’s okay. I’ll get up, brush it off, and continue on my journey. Because, in the end, I’m only human.

Since I can remember, I’ve wanted to protect the environment and the incredible animals it houses. So when I found out there was a career field that paid you to study and protect animals, I was sold. Since then, I've done everything possible to prepare myself for the path of conservation science. This included reading books, attending STEM-related clubs, and performing experiments using the microscope and science kit I had hoarded my money for. This also involved my attending multiple summer camps that focused on the topics of animals, conservation, and the environment. These camps were often held either at the Arizona Game and Fish Department or at the Phoenix Zoo. They taught their campers everything, ranging from DNA testing to animal population tracking. My passion for this career is derived from the horrific environmental issues, such as poaching, pollution, and illegal wildlife trafficking, which continue to lengthen the Endangered Species List. Upon learning about these topics, I did everything in my power to raise money and awareness about the crimes; however, as a meager ten-year-old, sitting in front of my house trying to sell Rainbow Looms and handmade pamphlets didn’t get me far. When I was thirteen, I learned what a game warden was and decided that it was what I would do when I grew up, hoping I could finally put an end to the environmental crimes I had spent my life loathing. My parents were concerned about the intensity and dangers of the job, but I assured them that I would be fine. This led me to enroll in law enforcement when I entered high school. It only lasted two months before I had to drop out when my mental state was hit with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. These issues had always been a part of me throughout my life, but in 2020, they became unbearable, and ultimately led me down a road of anorexia and self-harm that put me in a physical and mental state that was unfit for the responsibilities and expectations of not only a game warden but a human being. Unfortunately, I still struggle with these mental and physical issues to this day, and, despite noticeable improvements, I doubt they will ever fully go away. However, I know for a fact I'll continue to fight. My goal still is to one day find myself in a strong enough condition that I can try for my spot as a game warden once again. Still, until I am physically able to take on the role of a game warden, I will continue to learn, teach, and push for the safety and rights of the beautiful world and animals around us. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. This is why I am doing everything in my power to rise to my full potential and claim my spot in this incredible field. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I'm confident I can work with others to decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. Every plant, animal, and person deserves a life of love and happiness, but sometimes it feels impossible to achieve (especially today with society's ever-growing desire for money and power). So, I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of thousands of animals but also thousands of individuals, pushing them to fight for their dreams.

Over-thinker The decision is so simple, yet the choice is unclear, Because overthinking worries is all that I hear. One choice seems correct, but what if it’s a trick My brain plans to pull, so it’s the wrong one I’ll pick? Why is this so hard? It’s a small decision to make, But I worry this one decision will decide the path I take. I worry that if I fail this choice, my world will surely end. I’ll be left with hatred and sorrow, and no energy to pretend. I’ll choose option one. It’s the clear path to take. But why do I feel as if I made an awful mistake? No, I’ll go with option two, it’s less obvious, therefore the correct decision for me. But what if number one was the correct choice? How awful that would be! “Choose something now. The time is ticking.” “Uhhh, how about you take a turn picking?” “No, it’s all up to you.” “But I don’t know what to do!” Option one feels right, but that means it’s a trick, Option two is new but scary, ughhh, which one do I pick? Why does my mind do this, filling me with doubt? As if this choice will ruin my life, a choice no one cares about. I’ve made my decision now, yes, I pray that it’s right. “Sir, I guess I’ll have the chicken for dinner tonight.”

Since I could remember, I’ve wanted to protect the environment and the incredible animals it houses. So when I found out there was a career field that paid you to study and protect animals, I was sold. Since then, I have done everything possible to prepare myself for the path of conservation science. This included reading books, attending STEM-related clubs, and performing experiments using the microscope and science kit I had hoarded my money for. This also involved my attending multiple summer camps that focused on the topics of animals, conservation, and the environment. These camps were often held either at the Arizona Game and Fish Department or at the Phoenix Zoo. They taught their campers everything, ranging from DNA testing to animal population tracking. My passion for this career is derived from the horrific environmental issues such as poaching and illegal wildlife trafficking, which continue to lengthen the Endangered Species List. Upon learning about these topics, I did everything in my power to raise money and awareness about the crimes; however, as a meager ten-year-old, sitting in front of my house trying to sell Rainbow Looms and handmade pamphlets didn’t get me far. When I was thirteen, I learned what a game warden was and decided that it was what I would do when I grew up, hoping I could finally put an end to the environmental crimes I had spent my life loathing. My parents were concerned about the intensity and dangers of the job, but I assured them that I would be fine. This led to me enrolling in law enforcement when I entered high school. It only lasted two months before I had to drop out when my mental state was hit with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. These issues had always been a part of me throughout my life, but in 2020 they became unbearable, and ultimately led me down a road of anorexia and self-harm that put me in a physical and mental state that was unfit for the responsibilities and expectations of not only a game warden but a human being. Unfortunately, I still struggle with these mental and physical issues to this day, and, despite noticeable improvements, I doubt they will ever fully go away. However, I know for a fact I'll continue to fight. My goal still is to one day find myself in a strong enough condition that I can try for my spot as a game warden once again. Still, until I am physically able to take on the role of a game warden, I will continue to learn, teach, and push for the safety and rights of the beautiful world and animals around us. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. This is why I am doing everything in my power to rise to my full potential and claim my spot in this incredible field. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I'm confident I can work with others to decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. Every plant, animal, and person deserves a life of love and happiness, but sometimes it feels impossible to achieve (especially today with society's ever-growing desire for money and power). So, I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of thousands of animals but also thousands of individuals, pushing them to fight for their dreams.

Life is…funny, isn’t it? One day you’re laughing with your friends without a care in the world, and the next day you’re lying on your apartment floor listening to “Mr. Blue Sky”, hoping the upbeat tune will make you happy (true story, by the way). It’s hard to explain these sudden changes, but I think the song, “That’s Life” by Frank Sinatra, says it very well: That's life That's what all the people say You're riding high in April, shot down in May But I know I'm gonna change that tune When I'm back on top, back on top in June. I think about this verse all the time, as it has helped me get through the most difficult moments in life. And, well, I’ve had quite a few of those. I began my teenage years with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I sought out help for some of my problems. After about two years of therapy, I found myself feeling more stable in some areas of my mental health but even worse off in others. Although my number of panic attacks had reduced, I was still self-harming, restricting my food, and drowning in self-loathing thoughts. Unfortunately, these issues never went away. Last October, I attempted to take my own life. I can’t explain how it feels to have fallen so low that you’d rather dig your own grave rather than get back up. I cannot tell you the thoughts that run through your head when you think you are a burden to this world and are holding back the people you love. I cannot explain what some of these emotions feel like for those who struggle mentally. “You’re not good enough.” “Nobody loves you.” “You’re nothing but a burden.” “You don’t deserve happiness.” These are just some of the thoughts that have lived in my mind for the past five years, and I’ll just say that when you cannot physically escape these repeated negative claims, it’s almost impossible not to believe them. So, although I can’t find the words to explain this nightmarish state of mind, what I can say is that I wake up every morning eternally grateful that I didn’t succeed that awful night. I have realized that I want to do so much with my life that requires me to love myself enough to give that love to others. As much as my burdened thoughts tell me I don’t deserve love or happiness, my dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation, and I know I can’t do that unless I have a healthy body and mind. My anxiety, anorexia, depression, and OCD will most likely always be a part of me, but with the tricks I’ve learned from others and the support from my family and friends, I am positive that I will still be able to live up to my full potential despite these intrusive thoughts and emotions. It is so important to spread kindness and support to those around you because, well, you never know who just might need it the most. So, to the person reading this, I need you to always remember you’re enough. The journey ahead is a brutal battle, but there are so many people you can turn to. I promise you there is nothing in this world you cannot defeat to obtain the happiness you deserve, and the strength you need to come back on top in June.

Cancer is a phrase that often finds itself in various topics and discussions, but many fail to truly stop and listen to the heartbreaking truth of those (and the families of those) who have to fight this disease head-on. I have never lost a human friend or family member due to cancer, and I include this in my words of gratitude every day, but I have lost a beloved cat, whom I consider to be the closest friend I’ve ever had. We adopted him as a kitten in 2009 despite the warning of his mischievous nature through his name, Brat. My parents told me that they changed Brat’s (quite amusing) name to Min-O after I had jokingly called him a “mini Oreo” due to his black and white fur and small stature. As time passed, Min-O continued to impact me for the better. He was the support I needed as I navigated through life as an outcast, the inspiration for my cheesy stories and poetry, the motivation for my success, and the happy ending to my day. During the summer of 2023, Min-O began losing weight at an alarming rate. I watched every day as his muscles dissipated, his stomach shrank, and his ribs protruded through his skin. My family and I were struggling financially at the time, but we knew we had to take him to the vet. He was drowning in his body. I remember breaking down in tears when I saw the X-rays that revealed the horrific truth of Min-O’s suffering. The tumor in his lungs had caused pleural effusion, limiting his ability to breathe. We put him down on July 21st, and words cannot express my heartbreak. As I write this, I am holding back tears that were meant to fall that day, so I'm hoping that I can release some of these emotions and honor Min-O’s memory through this essay and one final poem: Every morning and every night, I listen to your purr. I scratch your truffled chin, and I stroke your gentle fur. Those somber songs you sing, they pluck my heartstrings all the time, Before they melt completely with every movement that you rhyme. And those prancing paws of yours will shoot laughter down the halls, Through the wooden doors, and up the painted walls. And I still listen for these sounds, for deep down I still pretend, That you’re just outside my bedroom, feeding feelings to a friend. But there are no purrs; no strokes; no songs; no strings. And every time I face this truth, the bell of sadness rings. So, every morning and every night, I hope, I wish, I pray, That we’ll hold each other’s memories, and meet again someday. To be honest, I was worried about applying for this scholarship because I know losing a pet is a common part of one’s life, and (although heart-crushing) is nowhere near as devastating and life-changing as losing a family member, and I didn’t want anyone to believe that I was not taking the brutal reality of this seriously. To those who have lost a parent, sibling, guardian, or other beloved individual to this curse that we call cancer, my heart goes out to you. I will not say that I know what you’re going through, because I don’t. I will not promise that things will be okay, because there’s no guarantee of that. What I will say, however, is that there are people in this world who love you and are willing to help you through this difficult time, leading you to the release and happiness that you deserve.

What does success look like to me? Yeah, uh…that’s a great question. I first stumbled across this scholarship about two months ago and have been pondering this topic ever since. Multiple times, I’ve tried to sit down and write out what success means to me, but it only caused me to overthink the definition and the future that lies ahead. "Will I ever be successful?" "Will I be able to survive?" "Can I fulfill my dreams?" "Do I even deserve happiness?" These thoughts would lead to a panic attack that would drain me of so much confidence and motivation that I felt physically and emotionally unable to write. After so many attempts, I decided to give up on this scholarship because I knew anything I wrote would block me from the success that I was supposed to uncover in the first place. The mind is fun, isn’t it? The reason I’m here, the day before the deadline, and spitting out this essay is that I had an interesting conversation with one of my peers that finally sparked my inspiration. This classmate asked me if the terms successful and prosperous could be used interchangeably, and without even thinking, I said no. I was honestly shocked by my immediate answer, but when the person asked me why, I suddenly understood what success meant to me. Success is whatever you want it to be. If you get out of bed, you’re successful. If you can acknowledge all of your accomplishments in life, you’re successful. If you are striving to be the person that you want to be, you’re successful. For me, success is completing college, receiving my doctorate in zoology, and spending the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. This is why I am doing everything in my power to rise to my full potential and claim my spot in this incredible field. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I am confident I can work with others like me and decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of thousands of animals but also thousands of individuals, pushing them to fight for their dreams and motivating them to uncover their vision of success. Everyone associates success with a rich and powerful connotation, but why? To succeed at something is to merely accomplish what you intended to do. A young child can succeed in persuading their mom to adopt a kitten, but that doesn’t mean they possess all the power. Some of the most “successful” people in the world earn that title by belittling others and spreading negativity that causes pain to our society. So, if this is success, then what is failure? Also, is succeeding at something always a good thing? I can say with one-hundred percent confidence the answer is no. It’s only human that we all fail once and a while, and, in some cases, it’s necessary. Last October, I attempted to take my own life. I can’t explain how it feels to have fallen so low that you’d rather dig your own grave rather than get back up. I cannot tell you the thoughts that run through your head when you think you are a burden to this world and are holding back the people you love. I can’t find the words to explain all of this, but what I can say is that I wake up every morning eternally grateful that I didn’t succeed that awful night. I am thankful for my failure. Now and then, I wonder if I am on the right path in life. I worry about the future and the bumps and cracks ahead. I ponder the possibility of taking an easier route that guarantees a life of prosperity. But will that trail grant me happiness? Will that trail gift me satisfaction? Will that trail bring me to my vision of success? The answer is always no. So, I turn my back against the trail and continue walking further along this path, my path. There are no more cracks, regrets, and expectations. It is only me, myself, and I on this wonderful journey to reunite with the person I want to be. It won’t be a flawless trip, though. I’ll annoy some, but I’ll provide happiness to others. I know I’ll make mistakes because I’m not perfect, and I never will be. But I don’t want to be perfect, for that is not normal. I’ll trip and fall, but that’s okay. I’ll get up, brush it off, and continue on my journey, chasing my vision of success. Because, in the end, I’m only human.

Ever since I could remember, I’ve wanted to protect the environment and the incredible animals it houses. So when I found out there was a career field that paid you to study and protect animals, I was sold. Since then, I have done everything possible to prepare myself for the path of conservation science. This included reading books, attending STEM-related clubs, and performing experiments using the microscope and science kit I hoarded my money for. This also involved my attending multiple summer camps that focused on the topics of animals, conservation, and the environment. These camps were often held either at the Arizona Game and Fish Department, or at the Phoenix Zoo, and taught its campers everything ranging from DNA testing to animal population tracking. The environmental issues that I have always hoped to address further to the public are poaching and illegal wildlife trafficking, which continues to lengthen the Endangered Species List. I remember having nightmares after learning what the horrific actions were and seeing disturbing images of trunkless elephants and tiger rugs. I did everything in my power to raise money and awareness about the crimes; however, as a meager ten-year-old, sitting in front of my house trying to sell Rainbow Looms and handmade pamphlets didn’t get me far. When I was thirteen, I learned what a game warden was and quickly decided that it was what I would do when I grew up so I could finally take down the poachers I had spent my life loathing. My parents were concerned about the intensity and dangers of the job, but I assured them that I would be fine. This led to me enrolling in a law enforcement class when I entered high school. It only lasted two months before I had to drop out since, during the year 2020, my mental state was hit with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. These issues had always been a part of me throughout my life, but now it was unbearable and ultimately led me down a road of anorexia and self-harm that put me in a physical and mental state that was unfit for the responsibilities and expectations of a game warden. Unfortunately, I still struggle with all of these mental and physical issues to this day, and, despite my time and efforts to defeat them, I doubt they will ever fully go away. However, I know for a fact I will continue to fight, for my goal still is to one day find myself in a strong enough condition that I can try my spot as a game warden once again. Look out, poachers! Still, until I am physically able to take on the role of a game warden, I will continue to learn, teach, and fight for the safety and rights of the beautiful world and animals around us. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. This is why I am doing everything in my power to rise to my full potential and claim my spot in this incredible field. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I am confident I can work with others like me and decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of thousands of animals but thousands of individuals as well, pushing them to fight for their dreams.

If I could travel back in time and speak to my twelve-year-old self, I’d tell her this: “I need you always to remember you’re enough. The journey ahead is a brutal battle; I’ll tell you that. But there are so many people you can turn to, so many people who love you. I promise you, Natalie, there is nothing in this world you cannot defeat to obtain the happiness you deserve.” But until we finally manage to build the first-ever hot tub time machine, I guess that plan will have to wait. I began my teenage years with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. At the time, I struggled to understand what I was going through, believing that I was just being a typical dramatic teenager who was experiencing a big change in hormones. And although puberty did play a part in some of my struggles (I mean, who doesn’t struggle with puberty?), it was far from the only reason for my dramatic decrease in happiness and mental stability. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I sought out help for some of my problems. After about two years of therapy, I found myself feeling more stable in some areas of my mental health but even worse off in others. Although the amount of my panic attacks had reduced, I was still self-harming, restricting my food, and drowning in self-loathing thoughts. These burdened beliefs ultimately caused me to be admitted to a hospital for four days after I attempted to end my life at eighteen. I felt so stupid for ever pulling a stunt like this, resulting in a traumatic memory and staggering bill for my family. My parents had just paid off a separate hospital bill and now I had just replaced it. However, I plan to pay it off myself because my family has done so much for me, and I cannot let them struggle with the mess I made. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I am confident I can work with others like me and decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. I’m also hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of millions of animals but also thousands of individuals, pushing them to fight for their dreams. Things haven’t been the same since my trip to the hospital, but all I can say is I am so grateful that I am still here today, for I know the experience will continue to motivate me to do as much as I can to ensure every human and animal I encounter lives a happy and healthy life. My mental struggles will always be a part of me, but with the support from my family and friends, I am positive that I will still be able to live up to my full potential. It is so important to spread kindness and support to those around you because, well, you never know who just might need it the most. So, to the person reading this, I need you always to remember you’re enough. The journey ahead is a brutal battle, but there are so many people you can turn to. So many people who love you. I promise you there is nothing in this world you cannot defeat to obtain the happiness you deserve.

I began my teenage years with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. At the time, I struggled to understand what I was going through and believed that I was being a typical dramatic teenager who was experiencing a big change in hormones. And although puberty did play a part in some of my struggles (I mean, who doesn’t struggle with puberty?), it was far from the only reason for my dramatic decrease in happiness and mental stability. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I sought out help for some of my problems. By this time, I was having panic attacks regularly, slicing my shoulders, and barely eating anything all day because I wanted to stay as small and frail as I felt inside. I didn’t know until I was finally taken to a doctor that I was so underweight that it was a miracle my heart hadn’t given out yet. After about two years of therapy, the amount of my panic attacks had reduced, but I was still self-harming, restricting my food, and drowning in self-loathing thoughts. I was a failure. This deeply impacted both my academic performance and personal life in various ways. The thoughts in my head that told me I wasn’t good enough pushed me to work harder in my classes, but the same thoughts resulted in me distancing myself from others because I felt like a burden to this world. During school, I never allowed myself to get anything lower than an ‘A’ because I felt that if I didn’t graduate with a 4.0 GPA, that meant that I was an idiot; meaning I wouldn’t get into a good college, I would be a disappointment to my family, would never find a stable job, and live the rest of my life miserable and alone. This is what my anxiety did to me every single day, causing me to focus solely on my academics and convincing me I was unlovable and, therefore, didn’t deserve to have fun with friends. This, of course, only caused my depression to increase as I became more and more secluded from the world. I felt like a mindless robot that was programmed only to do schoolwork and think negatively about itself. This wasn’t only an occurrence in school, either. I’m annoying for laughing in a movie theater, I’m a dunce if I can’t spell “deoxyribonucleic acid”, and I’m a failure if I forget to do my chores. This mindset of mine has not gone away, and, as a college student, I often find myself struggling to maintain good mental and physical health because I feel as though there is always something that takes priority over myself. Whether this be an essay, test, new job schedule, or sudden financial issue, my body and mind will tend to respond with a wave of fatigue, panic, and self-loathing thoughts that, when repeated over and over again, are almost impossible not to believe. Despite these struggles, however, I have begun to take the proper steps that I know will lead me on a more loving and stable path, because I have come to realize that there is so much I want to do with my life; and that requires me to have a healthy body and mind so I can give my love and support to others. My anxiety, anorexia, depression, and OCD will most likely always be a part of me, but with the tricks I’ve learned from others and the support from my family and friends, I am positive that I will live up to my full potential.

When I was ten years old, I came down with a nasty case of the stomach flu and spent the entire day curled up on my parent's floor watching anything I could find on the television. As I was flipping through channels, I came across PBS Kids and stopped abruptly at the sight of two men and a beautiful snowshoe hare. The show was called Wild Kratts and starred two zoologist brothers—Martin and Chris—who traveled all around the world to learn more about animals and the environments they live in. Although this series was intended for children ages 6-8, I continued to secretly watch the show well into my teen years, learning more and more about the creature I love and what it meant to be a zoologist. I am fascinated by animals and always have been, so when I found out there was a career that paid you to study and protect animals, I was sold. Ever since that sick day, I have done everything I can to prepare myself to become a zoologist. This included reading books, attending STEM-related clubs, and performing experiments using the microscope and science kit I hoarded my money for. This also involved my attending multiple summer camps that focused on the topics of animals, conservation, and the environment. These camps were often held either at the Arizona Game and Fish Department of the Phoenix Zoo and taught its campers everything ranging from DNA testing to animal population tracking. I cannot express the amount of gratitude I have for my parents for allowing me to take part in these organizations because these experiences have only fueled my passion and motivation for helping protect animals and the environment. My biggest accomplishment regarding my experience in STEM, however, came in the summer of 2023 when I was nominated by my high school’s environmental science teacher to attend George Mason’s Washington Youth Summit on the Environment (WYSE). This, without a doubt, was one of the greatest experiences of my entire life, as I had the opportunity to explore George Mason’s Smithsonian-Mason School of Conservation, participate in hands-on experiments, and meet some of the most successful professors in the field of zoology and environmental biology. Not only this, but I also met so many incredible individuals who shared my love and passion for conservation! Never in my life have I ever related to a group of people more, and I am happy to say that I remain in contact with many of these individuals today. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. Every time I see the population of one of Earth’s beautiful creatures decline, it breaks my heart in a way I can’t explain. Human impact on the environment can be detrimental if used in the wrong way, and I believe the two-thirds of wildlife population that has declined dramatically over the past fifty years can attest to that. This is why I am doing everything in my power to rise to my full potential and claim my spot in this incredible field. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I am confident I can work with others like me and decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of millions of animals but thousands of individuals as well, pushing them to fight for their dreams.

If I could travel back in time and speak to my twelve-year-old self, I’d tell her this: “I need you always to remember you’re enough. The journey ahead is a brutal battle; I’ll tell you that. But there are so many people you can turn to, so many people who love you. I promise you, Natalie, there is nothing in this world you cannot defeat to obtain the happiness you deserve.” But until we finally manage to build the first-ever hot tub time machine, I guess that plan will have to wait. I began my teenage years with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. At the time, I struggled to understand what I was going through, believing that I was just being a typical dramatic teenager who was experiencing a big change in hormones. And although puberty did play a part in some of my struggles (I mean, who doesn’t struggle with puberty?), it was far from the only reason for my dramatic decrease in happiness and mental stability. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I sought out help for some of my problems. After about two years of therapy, I found myself feeling more stable in some areas of my mental health but even worse off in others. Although the amount of my panic attacks had reduced, I was still self-harming, restricting my food, and drowning in self-loathing thoughts. These burdened beliefs ultimately caused me to be admitted to a hospital for four days after I attempted to end my life at eighteen. I felt so stupid for ever pulling a stunt like this, resulting in a traumatic memory and staggering bill for my family. My parents had just paid off the hospital bill from when my mother broke her wrist five years ago, and now I had just replaced it. However, I plan to help pay off that bill myself because my family has done so much for me, and I cannot let them struggle with the mess I made. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation, and I know that this is going to take many years of schooling that—along with my hospital bill—will obviously steal a large chunk of my bank account. This is why I am trying so hard to apply for scholarships and improve my mental state. My anxiety, anorexia, depression, and OCD will most likely always be a part of me, but with the tricks I’ve learned from others and the support from my family and friends, I am positive that I will still be able to live up to my full potential despite these intrusive thoughts and emotions. Things haven’t really been the same since my trip to the hospital, but all I can say is I am so grateful that I am still here today, for I know the experience will continue to motivate me to do as much as I can to ensure every human and animal I encounter lives a happy and healthy life. It is so important to spread kindness and support to those around you because, well, you never know who just might need it the most. So, to the person reading this, I need you always to remember you’re enough. The journey ahead is a brutal battle, but there are so many people you can turn to, so many people who love you. I promise you there is nothing in this world you cannot defeat to obtain the happiness you deserve.

Ever since I could remember, I’ve had an unbreakable passion for animals and the environment. As a child, I’d map out my neighborhood, taking notes of the health and environment of the animals I encountered before returning the next day to see if they were still around. During school, I made it my mission to release every bug found in our classrooms carefully back outside. However, despite how fun it is to track the routes of neighborhood cats or save cockroaches from teachers’ shoes, I have always wanted to do more. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation. This is why I am doing everything in my power to rise to my full potential and claim my spot in this incredible field. I am not only determined but ecstatic to make my mark because I am confident I can work with others like me and decrease the horrifying rate of environmental issues such as poaching, forest fires, illegal animal trade, and oil spills. I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of thousands of animals but thousands of individuals as well, pushing them to fight for their dreams. Though I must admit when I say this, I am more focused on inspiring young girls who wish to have a future in STEM because, although the mistreatment of career women has improved drastically, there are still multiple accounts of discrimination, harassment, and divided payment between men and women. As a young woman myself, I have come across many challenges and criticisms when expressing my passion for science just because of the F on my birth certificate. To be completely honest, I couldn’t care less about what these people said because I knew for a fact that science was what I was meant to pursue, and I wasn’t about to let any gender norms force me into a life I didn’t want to live. However, it still hurts me to know that there are thousands of girls out there who are discouraged from finding a career in science just because of their gender. Fortunately, there are hundreds of incredible women scientists who are proving that the world of STEM is accessible to all. Figures such as Jane Goodall and Terri Irwin are who kept me motivated during daunting times, so if I can provide that same support for one person, I’d be elated. There are so many wonderful paths in life that will guide you on different journeys, and these trails look different for every person. My path of passion, in particular, is a clear, straight line, for I know my love belongs to the field of zoology and the abundance of opportunities it holds. Now, my path to a successful career may result in more bumps and bruises than my prior trail, but I, for one, am excited for the thrilling ride ahead.

I began my teenage years with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. At the time, I struggled to understand what I was going through and believed that I was being a typical dramatic teenager who was experiencing a big change in hormones. And although puberty did play a part in some of my struggles (I mean, who doesn’t struggle with puberty?), it was far from the only reason for my dramatic decrease in happiness and mental stability. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I tried to seek help for some of my problems. By this time, I was having panic attacks regularly, cutting my shoulders, and barely eating anything all day because I wanted to stay as small and frail as I felt inside. I didn’t know until I was finally taken to a doctor that I was so underweight that it was a miracle my heart hadn’t given out yet. After about two years of therapy, the amount of my panic attacks had reduced, but I was still self-harming, restricting my food, and drowning in self-loathing thoughts. This deeply impacted both my academic performance and personal life in various ways. The thoughts in my head that told me I wasn’t good enough pushed me to work harder in my classes, but the same thoughts resulted in me distancing myself from others because I felt like a burden to this world. During school, I never allowed myself to get anything lower than an ‘A’ because I felt that if I didn’t graduate with a 4.0 GPA, that meant that I wasn’t smart. Meaning I wouldn’t get into a good college, I would be a disappointment to my family, I would never find a stable job, and I would live the rest of my life miserable and alone. This is what my anxiety did to me every single day, causing me to focus solely on my academics and convincing me that I was unlovable and, therefore, didn’t deserve to have fun with friends. This, of course, only caused my depression to increase as I became more and more secluded from the world. I felt like a mindless robot that was programmed only to do schoolwork and think negatively about itself. This wasn’t only an occurrence in school, either. I’m annoying for laughing in a movie theater, I’m an idiot if I can’t spell a word, and I’m a failure if I forget to do my chores. This mindset of mine has not gone away, and, as a college student, I often find myself struggling to maintain good mental and physical health because I feel as though there is always something that takes priority over myself. Whether this be an essay, test, new job schedule, or sudden financial issue, my body and mind will tend to respond with a wave of fatigue, panic, and self-loathing thoughts that, when repeated over and over again, are almost impossible not to believe. Despite these struggles, however, I have begun to take the proper steps that I know will lead me on a more loving and stable path because I have come to realize that there is so much I want to do with my life, and that requires me to have a healthy body and mind so I can give my love and support to others. My anxiety, anorexia, depression, and OCD will most likely always be a part of me, but with the tricks I’ve learned from others and the support from my family and friends, I am positive that I will live up to my full potential.

When I was ten years old, I came down with a nasty case of the stomach flu and spent the entire day curled up on my parent's floor watching anything I could find on the television. As I was flipping through channels, I stopped abruptly at the sight of two men and a beautiful snowshoe hare. The show was called Wild Kratts and starred two zoologist brothers—Martin and Chris—who traveled all around the world to learn more about animals and the environments they live in. I am fascinated by animals (and always have been), so when I found out there was a career that paid you to study and protect animals, I was sold. Ever since that day, I have done everything I can to prepare myself to become a zoologist, such as researching careers and attending STEM-related camps that focused on the topics of animals, conservation, and the environment. These camps were often held either at the Arizona Game and Fish Department or the Phoenix Zoo and taught its campers everything ranging from DNA testing to animal population tracking. I cannot express the amount of gratitude I have for my parents for allowing me to take part in these organizations because these experiences have only fueled my passion and motivation for helping protect animals and the environment. My biggest accomplishment regarding my experience in STEM, however, came in the summer of 2023 when I was nominated by my high school’s Environmental Science teacher to attend Geroge Mason’s Washington Youth Summit on the Environment (WYSE). This, without a doubt, was the greatest experience of my entire life, as I had the opportunity to explore George Mason’s Smithsonian-Mason School of Conservation, participate in hands-on experiments, and meet some of the most successful professors in the field of zoology and environmental biology. As a woman interested in science, I have come across many challenges and criticisms just because of the F on my birth certificate. During many of the camps I attended, I often found myself in a pool of boys. This, of course, made me stick out like a sore thumb and labeled me as a target for teasing. This was the first time I was introduced to the term “gender norms,” and, to put it lightly, I hated it. I thought I would find support from other girls, but when I expressed my interests and described my future career dreams, I was met with mixed reactions. While some of my friends thought nothing of it or were very happy and supportive of my passions, a few tried to “help” me except reality, explaining that there was a good chance I wouldn’t get further in life than a Bachelor’s degree before I had to settle down with a husband and kids. To be completely honest, I couldn’t care less about what these people said because I knew for a fact that science was what I was meant to pursue, and I wasn’t about to let any gender norms force me into a life I didn’t want to live. However, it still hurts me to know that there are thousands of girls out there who are discouraged from finding a career in science just because of their gender. My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation, and I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of thousands of animals but thousands of curious young girls as well, pushing them to fight for their dreams.

All my life, I had wondered the same question: Why can’t we just be kind and accepting of one another? Why is it that, today, a handshake is viewed as a prank, a smile is seen as a crude gesture, and a simple “good game” after a match is taken as an insult? I have never quite understood this reality of our community, but as I’ve grown older, it has become harder to ignore. This, however, does not define us as a society. Ever since I was young, I have always admired those who put the needs of others before themselves, and I was determined to grow up to be like these wonderful individuals. At the age of ten, I took my first volunteer position with the organization Paw Placement. Here, I worked with the cats, cleaning their cages, socializing with newcomers, helping with vaccines, and promoting adoptions. After this wonderful chapter, I served as a summer camp counselor at the Phoenix Herpetological Sanctuary, an assistant coach at Scottsdale’s Parkour and Freerunning, a referee for the recreational soccer league in Surprise, Arizona, and a teacher assistant at Countryside Elementary School. Throughout all of these experiences, I’ve learned the importance of kindness, patience, and motivation to help keep the world spinning. I have never smiled more than when I saw a loving family adopt an older cat, and I’ve never felt more proud than when a student excitedly showed me their new drawing or improved test score. During high school, I was a passionate member of our NHS program, Environmental Club, and Mental Health Club. These organizations allowed me to pursue my passion for helping others to be their best through both smaller actions (such as posting positive and motivational quotes around campus with my fellow club members) and larger projects (like organizing a day to plant our school’s first garden with many incredible volunteers). I will say, however, the thing I am most proud of was helping organize NHS’s first-ever Winter Carnival that was open to the public. I hosted a “Letters to Santa” station where participants could provide either their address or school so I–I mean, Santa could personally write back to them. Because the old man was quite busy that time of year, I had to deliver some of the letters to the elementary schools that many of the kids attended, and the look in their eyes when they heard Santa had written back to them was something I had never seen before. If there was a way for me to bring that spark of joy to every person here on Earth, I would do whatever it took to make it happen. This is why I am continuously looking for new opportunities to volunteer or just bring a little happiness through a smile, a compliment, or a “have a wonderful day!” My dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation, and I am hoping that through this career, I will not only be able to help impact the lives of thousands of animals but thousands of curious individuals as well. There is always going to be negativity in the world, but maybe, with time, we can strive to decrease the amount of it. And I hope that as the years go by, there will be a day when a handshake is viewed as a good mannerism, a smile is seen as a comforting gesture, and a simple “good game” after a match is taken as the sportsmanship we should strive to uphold.

I began my teenage years with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. At the time, I struggled to understand what I was going through and believed that I was being a typical dramatic teenager who was experiencing a big change in hormones. And although puberty did play a part in some of my struggles (I mean, who doesn’t struggle with puberty?), it was far from the only reason for my dramatic decrease in happiness and mental stability. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I tried to seek help for some of my problems. After about two years of therapy, I found myself feeling more stable in some areas of my mental health but even worse off in others. Although the amount of my panic attacks had reduced, I was still self-harming, restricting my food, and drowning in self-loathing thoughts. This was also around the time I began to question my gender and sexuality, which didn’t help with my anorexia, body dysmorphia, and whole “Why can’t I just be normal?” feeling. It wasn’t until I was seventeen that I was finally able to push past my internalized homophobia and accept my placement in the LGBTQIA+ community. Though, this didn’t come without a few bumps in the road. It took some time for my parents to accept this part of myself that I was just only beginning to understand, but I am grateful to say that my family has done so much to improve their mindsets about this topic, and I honestly feel safe enough to express my true self around them. This, however, is not the case when I find myself out in the real world. As I’ve continued to grow and learn more about my sexual identity, I have also witnessed the discrimination targeted at individuals of the LGBTQIA+ community. Through hate crimes, news, and just random conversations, I (as well as every other member of the LGBTQIA+ community) have been taught to feel ashamed of ourselves and scared to properly express who we are. I remember telling myself that I would not let this fear get to me, and if anyone were to ask me about my crushes or past relationships, I would be completely honest with them. But, as the years have gone by, I have had multiple people ask me questions regarding romantic interests, and I always find myself succumbing to the fear and twisting the truth. Because of this, my anxiety, depression, and self-loathing continue to burden me to this day. Although I am proud of my sexuality, it can still be a struggle to maintain that positive mindset when I hear horror stories of discrimination towards anyone who is labeled as “different.” This, of course, does not only apply to my sexuality but to my mental struggles as well. The invisible illnesses that are nearly impossible to describe to someone who has never experienced something like it themself. Sometimes, I feel broken because of these “differences,” but deep down, I know that they are and always will be a part of who I am and that there are incredible people who are in my corner, cheering me on as I continue this journey. This is why everyone must have a reliable support system and why we, as a community, need to come together to provide that love, support, and understanding to those who are struggling. Life is a brutal battle, I’ll tell you that. But, with the right support and healthy well-being, there is nothing in this world that we cannot defeat to obtain the happiness we deserve.

I began my teenage years with a sudden spike in depression, anxiety, and OCD. At the time, I struggled to understand what I was going through and believed that I was being a typical dramatic teenager who was experiencing a big change in hormones. And although puberty did play a part in some of my struggles (I mean, who doesn’t struggle with puberty?), it was far from the only reason for my dramatic decrease in happiness and mental stability. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I tried to seek help for some of my problems. By this time, I was having panic attacks regularly, cutting my shoulders, and barely eating anything all day because I wanted to stay as small and frail as I felt inside. I didn’t know until I was finally taken to a doctor that I was so underweight that it was a miracle my heart hadn’t given out yet. After three years of therapy, I found myself feeling more stable in some areas of my mental health and even worse off than before in others. Although the amount of my panic attacks had reduced, and I was no longer at a dangerous weight, I was still self-harming, restricting my food, and drowning in self-loathing thoughts. During the summer before college, I had my first alcoholic beverage. If I could, I’d go back in time and slap that drink out of my younger self’s hand. But until we finally manage to build the first-ever hot tub time machine, I guess that plan will have to wait. The alcohol placed its spell on me, and I loved it. For the first time in forever, I was worry-free and happy. I started sneaking into my parents and older brother’s alcohol in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep or if I just wanted to feel that buzz. Though, sometimes, I drank more than I could handle. I can recall at least three nights when I blacked out on my bedroom floor. I was out of control. Well, one night, I got caught with my hand in the liquor, and my family was (rightfully) infuriated. I hated myself for what I had been doing, but I couldn’t shake my cravings for the alcohol. One night, I had managed to sneak quite a few swigs of tequila before I was caught once again. I don’t think I have ever seen my mother so angry. I did that. I caused her pain, and I hated myself for it. I retreated to my room, locked the door, and grabbed the box cutter I had been using to scar my body. This time, however, I did not slice my shoulder or thigh, I slit my wrists. I can’t remember the rest of that night so well. But I woke up in the hospital with my mother by my side and bandages over my wrists. I was admitted into a psychiatric facility for four days. I cannot physically explain what some of these emotions feel like for those who struggle mentally. “You’re not good enough.” “You’re better off dead.” “Nobody loves you.” “You’re nothing but a burden.” “You don’t deserve happiness.” These are some of the thoughts that have lived in my mind for the past five years, and I’ll just say that when you cannot physically escape these negative claims repeated over and over again, it’s almost impossible not to believe them. However, I have realized that I want to do so much with my life that requires me to love myself enough to give that love to others. As much as my intrusive thoughts tell me I don’t deserve love or happiness, I know my dream is to earn my doctorate in zoology and spend the rest of my life protecting endangered species and spreading the word about conservation, and I can’t do that unless I have a healthy body and mind. My anxiety, anorexia, depression, OCD, and desire for alcohol will most likely always be a part of me, but with the tricks I’ve learned from others and the support from my family and friends, I am positive that I will still be able to live up to my full potential despite these intrusive thoughts and emotions. Things haven’t really been the same since my trip to the hospital, but all I can say is I am so grateful that I am still here today. Life is a struggle (I think everyone knows that), but that’s what makes it an adventure. That’s what makes the successes, breakthroughs, and happy endings so powerful and worthwhile. And with the right love and support, there is nothing in this world that we cannot defeat to obtain the love and happiness we deserve.

I have learned the hard way that we are unable to sustain physical wellness when lacking mental support. I was born with a healthy physical body, but because I have been unstable in my mind for the last few years, I have taken actions and made mistakes that have decreased the well-being of my physical form. I hate the reality of this because I know that I am destroying a wonderful gift that has been given to me, but it is so hard to resist the urge to harm myself when my mind is just barely strong enough to function on its own. This is why it is so important for me to maintain good mental health. Because, if I am unable to obtain a healthy mind, there is no chance for me sustaining a healthy body. As a human in general, I struggle to express some of my mental setbacks because it is difficult to portray just how much they are impacting me and my everyday life without a colorful cast that people can sign their names on to show support. Mental health is invisible and, therefore, can be difficult to understand. The last thing I’d want to do is burden others with my internal problems, but I feel like I have no other choice. As a student, I struggle with challenges when trying to maintain good mental and physical health because I feel as though there is always something that takes priority over myself. Whether this be an essay, test, new job schedule, or sudden financial issue, my body will have the same reaction: Anxiety. Now, everyone experiences anxiety in different forms and amounts, and, for me, my anxiety tends to express itself through a sudden wave of fatigue, stomach aches, and self-loathing thoughts that trap me in a never-ending cycle of panic and dissatisfaction. These frequent episodes cause me to skip meals, sleep more than necessary, overthink my actions, and isolate myself from others because I feel like I’m a burden to everyone around me. My lack of social activity and productivity then causes another wave of anxiety to strike with a new round of self-loathing thoughts that I struggle to remove from my mind. It. Never. Ends. This is why I began resorting to actions that would provide temporary relief. Unfortunately, they came at the cost of my physical health while never truly solving my mental struggles. These impacts on my mental and physical wellness have only dug me deeper and deeper into a hole of depression and anxiety that I have never been able to peek my head out of. And it seems as though whenever I obtain a ladder that should be tall enough to reach the top, I fall another five feet deeper. As a student, it is even more difficult to find the energy and materials to continue and build onto that ladder. This is why it is necessary for everyone to have a reliable support system and why we, as a community, need to come together to provide that love, support, and understanding to those who are struggling. Life is a brutal battle, I’ll tell you that. But, with the right support and a healthy well-being, there is nothing in this world that we cannot defeat to obtain the happiness we deserve.