An unfortunate but common reality in America is the commonality of single-parent households. Since 2023, 49% of Black households fall into this category, and mine is one of them. I was raised by my mother, Shakiya Steward, who also gave birth to my older sister, Azhante. Although the experience was difficult or even unfortunate, I wouldn't be who I am today without it. To truly answer the question, “How has growing up in a single-parent household shaped your goals, values, and ambitions?” I must ask myself something: “What did my mother do for me?”
My mother is a God-fearing, hardworking, and dependable woman. She sacrificed a great deal to provide for me and my sister. My parents divorced when I was a baby. They split bills, so after they separated, we had no other choice but to move into my grandparents’ home. It was in a tough neighborhood where we also had to share the space with my aunt and her two children.
While we were there, we struggled financially. My mom was unemployed at times, worked multiple jobs, supported my sister's athletic dreams, and even went back to college to finish her degree. As a kid, I didn’t fully understand everything she was going through; I just knew I was angry. I was upset that I couldn’t have the same luxuries my friends did, like my own bedroom, a gaming system, cable TV, or the freedom to play outside without my mom worrying. But after a while, that anger turned into motivation. I realized I wanted more, not just for myself, but for my family. I want to give my kids a life that I could only have imagined living. I wanted to achieve something greater for the world to see and give those similar to me hope that they can overcome their circumstances.
Continuing, these experiences sparked my passion for community service. Most would say that exceeding the expectations of my environment is a “blessing.” I slightly disagree. While I’m truly grateful to the Lord for providing me with guidance and perseverance, I know I’m simply walking the path He set for me, and He’s only just getting started. My purpose on this earth is to create opportunities for others who come from similar circumstances. I know I’m called to advocate for them, not only by speaking up for them but by setting an example and proudly representing them wherever I go. If my family and I hadn’t gone through our hardships, I wouldn’t have the passion to help others succeed.
Moving on, my upbringing not only shaped my goals, but it also shaped my perspective on the world. Growing up as a young man raised in a household dominated by females is a dynamic experience. It wasn’t always easy. Even though my father and I have a great relationship, his not being present left a permanent mark. Some of those effects were tough, feeling the pressure to grow up fast or figure things out on my own, but some were surprisingly positive.
As I grew older, my perspective changed. Instead of being angry, I learned from it. What I lacked emotionally taught me strength, what I lacked physically taught me perseverance, and what I lacked spiritually taught me faith. It made me self-aware, emotionally in tune, and appreciative of the people who show up for me every day.
Looking back on everything, I realize that every setback, every struggle, and every sacrifice had a purpose. The things that I went through didn’t make life harder, they forced me to be stronger. Seeing my mother doing so much with so little showed me what true resilience is.
In conclusion, growing up in a single-parent household didn’t limit my dreams; it gave me an answer to the question, “Why?”. It gave me the necessary fuel to push forward, the heart and mind to care for others, and the courage to lead by example. I’m not just working towards personal accomplishments like a degree, I’m creating a future for myself where I can be a role model, a resource, and an inspiration to kids from similar circumstances.