“Time for dinner!” I’m ready to escape from my AP Psychology homework as I’m called downstairs to eat dinner. I’ve been working for hours, and this is my needed break. My mom brought home dinner from Kean University’s campus Starbucks once again and I grab my usual - the tomato and mozzarella toasted sandwich. I listen to my mom as she relievingly sets aside her backpack of graduate school work and talks about her day. Working in an under resourced urban school with primarily Black and brown students comes with many difficulties, and it also means that my mom always has a story to tell. This was my family two years ago, and I admire my mother even more for all that she has done: caring for three kids with now two in college, working hard in school and for her family, taking care of herself, and receiving her second Master’s degree. Both of my parents persevere to provide for their family, and education has gotten them to where they are now. Six years ago, it felt like forever until my family would have our own comfortable space. At the start of my freshman year of high school, my family and I had to live with my paternal grandparents in between moving houses, which would be until the month of May. Having to be on the highway with my father and two siblings by 7:00 A.M. for 25 minutes was not ideal, let alone knowing that it took nearly 20 minutes longer to get to school compared to our old commute. I was embarrassed about where I lived, constantly worried about arriving late to morning classes, and I completely did not understand the complex world of Geometry. My attempts at proofs, theories, equations, and shapes in my dad’s old 1970’s wooden bed were no match against the rigorous tests I struggled with despite receiving help from another Math teacher at my school. Moreover, my mom took a job opportunity in Virginia and stayed there during the week, leaving only the weekends for her to visit us. However, I don’t think about what my family has been through as I grab my food and make my way to the living room. Once the episode starts, my mom, sister, and I get whisked away in the time-traveling and mind-bending mysteries of the series Manifest. After our long days of being in a school, whether it be as a Supervisor, middle schooler, or high schooler, we are immersed in this world of science fiction. However, in less than an hour, the episode ends, and our time together is over. We would all gladly watch another episode, but instead, we begrudgingly make our way upstairs to finish our work. After the difficulty of freshman year, I continued to work hard in all of my classes, challenging myself academically to build the strongest intellectual foundation for college and beyond. Education has, is, and will always be a priority for me. I constantly remind myself of what former First Lady Michelle Obama, my mother, and other role models of mine have reinforced: education is the key to one’s future.

My experience as a Black woman is similar to those of many other Black women: it is a mixture of joy and pain, celebration and hardship, love and loss. There are moments where you feel overwhelmingly blessed with your Blackness and womanhood and all the beauty that it brings, and there are those where you wish it wasn’t so hard to live in the skin you’re in, especially as a woman. Particularly, it’s hard to constantly witness the injustices the Black community goes through. Growing up, I noticed differences between where I lived compared to nearby towns. I would notice the plethora of corner stores and fast food stops compared to shelves stacked with healthy produce in grocery stores. I noticed the lack of diversity in my area in contrast to majority Black and brown neighborhoods. As a child, it was difficult to grasp these concepts of inequality. I noticed these differences, but it wasn’t until I attended a pre-health summer program that I could put a name to a face. I started connecting what I learned about racial injustice and the Black experience to these disparities and health issues I’ve seen in my own family. After doing my own research on race, socioeconomic status, and health outcomes and connecting it to the effects of mass incarceration, redlining, violence, and other problems affecting low-income, primarily Black communities, I decided that I could not simply learn about these issues anymore. Public health is what I’m passionate about and what I can see myself doing for the rest of my life in order to improve the lives of the most marginalized, which, in the words of Malcolm X, is the Black woman - “The most disrespected woman in America, is the black woman. The most un-protected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America, is the black woman”. Marsha P. Johnson, a proud, Black trans woman who protested in the streets for her right to live freely. Michelle Obama, the first Black First Lady who emphasized the idea that education is the key to one’s future. Toni Morrison, a woman who unapologetically and poetically dedicated her life to sharing the stories of Black people. My mother, Natasha Gaujean-La Mar, who dealt with prejudice and racism from being Haitian-American and ended up pursuing a career fighting for children's education. These are Black women who have shaped who I am and how I move through the world. From them, I’ve learned that ultimately, there is no one way to be a Black woman, and that you should always come as you are when you are with your sisters. As Alice Walker said, “Is solace anywhere more comforting than that in the arms of a sister”. With all the trials and tribulations that come with being a Black woman, I wouldn’t want to be anyone else.

Nearly losing my brother’s prosthetic eye in a swimming pool during vacation. Being tested for Retinoblastoma until the age of two. Struggling to get my maternal grandmother with Alzheimer’s disease and Type 2 diabetes to walk home with my mother, sister, and I. Seeing a picture of my maternal OB/GYN grandfather in a bulletproof vest during his work at an abortion clinic and learning that he died from colon cancer. Watching my mother’s best friend lose her hair due to Stage IV breast cancer. Smelling cigarette smoke from my type 2 diabetic paternal grandmother again after she just had open heart surgery. Discovering that my dad’s aunt started an HIV/AIDS clinic, was a Head Nurse, and later became diagnosed with lung cancer. Visiting my father’s cousin at The Johns Hopkins Hospital where he chose to be part of a new clinical trial for pancreatic cancer. Admiring my paternal grandfather for being a basketball referee and living a healthy lifestyle at 71 years old. Reading medical magazines at my aunt’s house and discussing the healthcare field with her. Jordan La Mar, myself, Dr. Emmelyne Gaujean, Dr. Max Gaujean, Samantha Hankins, Deborah La Mar, Elsie Crenshaw, RN, Tony Harper, Larry La Mar, and Dr. Elaine Fleck: the moments that I’ve shared with these people have shown me both the tragedies and power of health. These points in my life, along with my fascination with health and the human body, is what led me to my interest in oncology. Cancer was common among family and friends, and I was tired of watching people I love suffer. As a child, I always wanted to participate in cancer awareness walks, was interested in anything related to cancer research, and tried to brainstorm a cure. Becoming an oncologist was all I thought about, until I discovered what health disparities were. Growing up, I noticed differences between where I lived compared to other neighborhoods. I noticed that grocery stores near me were stacked with healthy produce while other areas were full of corner stores and fast food stops. I also noticed the lack of diversity in my area in contrast to the aforementioned majority Black and Hispanic neighborhoods. I noticed these differences, but I couldn’t put a name to the face I had been seeing for so long. However, after attending the Science Medicine And Related Topics (SMART) Program in 2018 at Rutgers New Jersey School of Medicine, I started connecting the information I learned there and what I was taught at the W.E.B. Du Bois Summer Scholars Institute at Princeton University in 2015 about oppression against the Black community to what I discovered are known as health disparities. In addition, I related this knowledge to patterns I saw within my own family, such as both my grandmothers having Type 2 diabetes and multiple people being diagnosed with cancer. The relationships between race, gender, sexuality, socioeconomic status, and health outcomes became the basis of my Internet searches from sophomore year moving forward. Moreover, at multiple organizations I volunteered at, the effects of hunger, homelessness, and other social determinants of health were clear. I decided that I couldn’t only learn about these issues. Medicine, public health, and community health work is what I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. Following my undergraduate studies, I plan on pursuing my MD and Master of Public Health. I want to work within the younger population because I believe that positive interventions at a young age can have lasting impacts on a person’s life, decreasing their risk of long-term health issues. I also love interacting with babies and children in general, therefore I plan on becoming an infant and maternal care doctor or pediatrician. Additionally, I would like to work on improving health policies, healthcare for Black patients, and the social determinants of health such as food inequity. Food directly relates to one's health and wellbeing, yet many communities don’t have fair access to nutritious, affordable groceries and/or they aren't adequately educated on nutrition. I decided to do my senior year capstone project on this topic, taking pictures of food stores in the same neighborhoods I noticed these disparities in as a child. My final project was a mixture of facts, questions, pictures, statistics, and proposed solutions to this issue. This is the type of work I hope to do in the healthcare field - creating solutions to society’s most prevalent health problems. Overall, I want to liberate marginalized communities by using medicine and public health as a tool for social change. As Dr. Rupa Marya, a doctor and professor at the University of California San Francisco said, “social ills lead to physical ones”. Improving health and solving health disparities are my career goals, and I hope to be able to do so by continuing my education with the help of this scholarship.

Nearly losing my brother’s prosthetic eye in a swimming pool during vacation. Being tested for Retinoblastoma until the age of two. Struggling to get my maternal grandmother with Alzheimer’s disease and Type 2 diabetes to walk home with my mother, sister, and I. Seeing a picture of my maternal OB/GYN grandfather in a bulletproof vest during his work at an abortion clinic and learning that he died from colon cancer. Watching my mother’s best friend lose her hair due to Stage IV breast cancer. Smelling cigarette smoke from my type 2 diabetic paternal grandmother again after she just had open heart surgery. Discovering that my dad’s aunt started an HIV/AIDS clinic, was a Head Nurse, and later became diagnosed with lung cancer. Visiting my father’s cousin at The Johns Hopkins Hospital where he chose to be part of a new clinical trial for pancreatic cancer. Admiring my paternal grandfather for being a basketball referee and living a healthy lifestyle at 71 years old. Reading medical magazines at my aunt’s house and discussing the healthcare field with her. Jordan La Mar, myself, Dr. Emmelyne Gaujean, Dr. Max Gaujean, Samantha Hankins, Deborah La Mar, Elsie Crenshaw, RN, Tony Harper, Larry La Mar, and Dr. Elaine Fleck: the moments that I’ve shared with these people have shown me both the tragedies and power of health. These points in my life, along with my fascination with health and the human body, is what led me to my interest in oncology. Cancer was common among family and friends, and I was tired of watching people I love suffer. As a child, I always wanted to participate in cancer awareness walks, was interested in anything related to cancer research, and tried to brainstorm a cure. Becoming an oncologist was all I thought about, until I discovered what health disparities were. Growing up, I noticed differences between where I lived compared to other neighborhoods. I noticed that grocery stores near me were stacked with healthy produce while other areas were full of corner stores and fast food stops. I also noticed the lack of diversity in my area in contrast to the aforementioned majority Black and Hispanic neighborhoods. I noticed these differences, but I couldn’t put a name to the face I had been seeing for so long. However, after attending the Science Medicine And Related Topics (SMART) Program in 2018 at Rutgers New Jersey School of Medicine, I started connecting the information I learned there and what I was taught at the W.E.B. Du Bois Summer Scholars Institute at Princeton University in 2015 about oppression against the Black community to what I discovered are known as health disparities. In addition, I related this knowledge to patterns I saw within my own family, such as both my grandmothers having Type 2 diabetes and multiple people being diagnosed with cancer. The relationships between race, gender, sexuality, socioeconomic status, and health outcomes became the basis of my Internet searches from sophomore year moving forward. Moreover, at multiple organizations I volunteered at, the effects of hunger, homelessness, and other social determinants of health were clear. I decided that I couldn’t only learn about these issues. Medicine, public health, and community health work is what I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. Following my undergraduate studies, I plan on pursuing my MD and Master of Public Health. I want to work within the younger population because I believe that positive interventions at a young age can have lasting impacts on a person’s life, decreasing their risk of long-term health issues. I also love interacting with babies and children in general, therefore I plan on becoming an infant and maternal care doctor or pediatrician. Additionally, I would like to work on improving health policies, healthcare for Black patients, and the social determinants of health such as food inequity. Food directly relates to one's health and wellbeing, yet many communities don’t have fair access to nutritious, affordable groceries and/or they aren't adequately educated on nutrition. I decided to do my senior year capstone project on this topic, taking pictures of food stores in the same neighborhoods I noticed these disparities in as a child. My final project was a mixture of facts, questions, pictures, statistics, and proposed solutions to this issue. This is the type of work I hope to do in the healthcare field - creating solutions to society’s most prevalent health problems. Overall, I want to liberate marginalized communities by using medicine and public health as a tool for social change. As Dr. Rupa Marya, a doctor and professor at the University of California San Francisco said, “social ills lead to physical ones”. Improving health and solving health disparities are my career goals, and I hope to be able to do so by continuing my education with the help of this scholarship.

Growing up, I noticed differences between where I lived compared to other neighborhoods. I noticed that grocery stores near me were stacked with healthy produce while other areas were full of corner stores and fast food stops. I also noticed the lack of diversity in my area in contrast to the aforementioned majority Black and Hispanic neighborhoods. I noticed these differences, but I couldn’t put a name to the face I had been seeing for so long. However, after attending the Science Medicine And Related Topics (SMART) Program in 2018 at Rutgers New Jersey School of Medicine, I started connecting the information I learned there and what I was taught at the W.E.B. Du Bois Summer Scholars Institute at Princeton University in 2015 about oppression against the Black community to what I discovered are known as health disparities. In addition, I related this knowledge to patterns I saw within my own family, such as both my grandmothers having Type 2 diabetes and multiple people being diagnosed with cancer. The relationships between race, gender, sexuality, socioeconomic status, and health outcomes became the basis of my Internet searches from sophomore year moving forward. Moreover, at multiple organizations I volunteered at, the effects of hunger, homelessness, and other social determinants of health were clear. I decided that I couldn’t only learn about these issues. Medicine, public health, and community health work is what I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. Following my undergraduate studies, I plan on pursuing my MD and Master of Public Health, soon after becoming an infant and maternal care doctor or pediatrician. Additionally, I would like to work on improving health policies, healthcare for Black patients, and the social determinants of health such as food inequity. Food directly relates to one's health and wellbeing, yet many communities don’t have fair access to nutritious, affordable groceries and/or they aren't adequately educated on nutrition. I decided to do my senior year capstone project on this topic, taking pictures of food stores in the same neighborhoods I noticed these disparities in as a child. My final project was a mixture of facts, questions, pictures, statistics, and proposed solutions to this issue. This is the type of work I hope to do in the healthcare field - creating solutions to society’s most prevalent health problems. Overall, I want to liberate marginalized communities by using medicine and public health as a tool for social change. As Dr. Rupa Marya, a doctor and professor at the University of California San Francisco said, “social ills lead to physical ones”. Improving health and solving health disparities are my career goals, and that is why I hope to receive this scholarship to fund my studies that will lead to me making a difference in the world of health.

My first awakening to the criminal justice system occurred while attending the W.E.B. DuBois Scholars Institute held at Princeton University. We held many discussions surrounding racial injustices in the world, and specifically we read and analyzed Michelle Alexander’s “The New Jim Crow”, which focused on the injustices Black people face in the criminal justice system. Black men and women are the most at risk out of all races to be incarcerated (The Sentencing Project). This problem stems from the tense relationship between the Black community and police, having roots in slavery and Nixon’s “War on Drugs” in the ‘70s and ‘80s. The effects of these events are still seen today, with the School-to-Prison pipeline being another reason why Black people are overrepresented in the criminal justice system. With Black students being 3.5 times more likely than their white counterparts to be suspended or expelled, there is a theme in our K-12 educational system that sees Black kids as misbehaving when they are most likely reacting in response to their surroundings (Elias, 2013). This leads to poorer academic performance and a higher risk of being in prison. Children of Promise, NYC, or CPNYC, is an organization based in Brooklyn, New York which I have been volunteering with for years. It is one of the few organizations in the country dedicated to the needs of the forgotten victims, or children, of incarcerated parents. This organization provides afterschool tutoring during the school year along with a camp over the summer. In addition, mental health professionals host sessions with the children one-on-one to openly discuss how they’re feeling in addition to any issues they may be having. This is one effective way to target the issue of mass incarceration. Stopping the cycle with the youth will hopefully end the cycle entirely. Giving people outlets to express their emotions instead of turning to violence has also been proven effective in improving wellbeing as well as the academic performance of students. Moreover, de-profitizing and deprivatizing prisons will allow Black people to be seen as humans and not dollar signs. This can be done via legislation in government and an entire change of the prison system. The issue is that a profit is made based on more people being in prison, and governments are often allied with these prisons. Additionally, public prisons also thrive off of having more prisoners, not just private ones. This means that the system needs to be socially and economically flipped in that only people who have committed serious crimes end up in jail, not people of color and people in poverty. Finally, the journey itself from arrest to prison needs to be revamped because it is perpetuating these issues. Needing to pay hundreds to thousands of dollars for bail, being given a free defense lawyer who isn’t ready to properly defend you, implicit bias in the courtroom,....these are all reasons why there is a severe overrepresentation of marginalized groups in prison. CPNYC is doing important work in breaking the intergenerational cycle of incarceration within communities. Besides the statistical effects of incarceration, there is a potent stigma against those in prison and their loved ones. With a book I created, You Are Loved (available via Storybird), I am destigmatizing families affected by incarceration. This leads to empowerment as well as inspiration for those affected by incarceration to work hard to achieve their goals despite their setbacks. My book is also a call to action for those, specifically children, impacted by incarceration. In the book, I write that it is okay to feel sad about missing your parent(s) because they are away. Families should be encouraged to share their emotions and have healthy coping mechanisms, which CPNYC also promotes in having mental health therapists available for the children in the program. Those impacted by incarceration should know that they are loved, just like the title of my book. I first plan on making another trip to CPNYC to see how the book is being received by the kids and families there and if they have any feedback. Based on that, I would possibly send a book to CPNYC’s upcoming additional location in the South Bronx. I have been and may continue to send copies to other nonprofits as well. If my book is gaining attention among the nonprofits, I may start selling copies to individuals and donating the proceeds to organizations supporting families affected by the criminal justice system and fighting against its injustices. Sources: - https://www.sentencingproject.org/criminal-justice-facts/ - https://www.tolerance.org/magazine/spring-2013/the-school-to-prison-pipeline