For as long as I can remember I struggled with mental health mainly anxiety and depression both were so severe to the point that I felt it chipping away at all the happiness I had, Ever since I was little I wanted to be in the medical field I didn't care what I was doing but now I know I want to work with kids and be a clinical psychologist. My backup plan would most likely be an author or radiology technician, but working with kids and helping them improve mentally is a reward far greater than anything I could ever imagine. The look on kids' faces today is something I want to change, so many are depressed and angry which leads them to the most horrific outcome, I believe I deserve this scholarship because there There are so many good ways I can use it, I can use it for the greater good of our future children it is something that needs to change and if not me then who? I would feel like I am healing my inner child helping other children like me in the future. Why is that not an opportunity I would take, Only one person supported me during my mental health journey growing up and I would like to make sure other kids have someone, Mental health is something that is often overlooked in all ages, and it is up to us to either change that or make it worse, the suicide rate this year has gone up approximately 20%. That's only one year, How many more years will it take for someone to listen to hear the hurt of others and stop this madness that goes on in our society today, that we are the cause of, We as people need to think that the person we are mistreating is someone's son or daughter, This scholarship will be able to help me achieve my dream of being able to save people as my therapist has done for me, I want people to feel like they are worth something,because nobody deserves to feel as worthless as I once did and hopefully I can make a change in people's life so nobody ever has to get a call about there loved one when something could have been done,because there's always a solution to every problem and where we are right now isn't permanent, and that is why I would like thi scholarship

My mental health issues have progressively gotten worse as I got older, I suffer from severe anxiety and depression it feels like a demon just ripping out my happiness until I'm nothing but an empty void of despair. I sometimes wish I wasn't here due to my mental health, I try to fight my sadness as much as possible but the more I fight the weaker I feel. This monster, this evil spirit haunting me, has completely devoured any light that seems to progress my way. It has been a curse and a blessing because it seems to inspire me to write and become a clinical psychologist, but it has caused me to lash out and hurt not only myself but those I love as well. I wish I was normal, the perfect daughter, with picture-perfect looks and the best grades, Instead I'm this average girl with decent grades, and very far from normal. I still try my best, of course, to do good in school and be a good daughter, but I feel like God is against me, especially with this battle, I wish with all my heart that I could erase this disease from my life, instead, I find myself constantly drowning in a pool of my depression, the clearest of waters will be stained with my blood. My mental health has also changed my mindset drastically, Other days seem more prolonged and draining. But very rarely will I have that mindset of I can do this, barely, Some days I feel like giving up and question why I'm still here, but on others, I find the strength to say I'm here for a purpose, even though my heart and soul don't even believe those words, I can't even process my emotions anymore at this point. It's all just jumbled into this dark cloud, never to be uttered out loud, You've asked me to explain my mental health. At this point in my life, it is all just mental, mentally draining, mentally exhausted, but never will I be able to say I've improved, I constantly feel like I'm letting the ones I love down even if I'm not, I feel like I'm a terrible friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister and that my life would be better if I didn't have a life to live,I don't even know if I'll be alive for college everything just seems better without me

Mental health is often overlooked, especially when it comes to actual mental disorders, take me for example I struggle severely with anxiety and severe depression. Every day is a battle especially the days I feel confident, the outer part shows I'm confident, but the inner part of me is screaming that I'm worthless, I'm not enough, I deserve the worst.Etc.It's truly terrible. Even in my own family, I stand apart because my family members enjoy the outdoors and parties. I am a very reserved person, I don't enjoy parties, or socializing and would rather read books or write. For these reasons, I am ridiculed by my mother and aunt to the point where my self-image is damaged and my mental health isn't the best. These situations have caused damage to my closest friendships. Because even if there the most genuine person on the planet I will always see the negative side. I know how terrible that mindset may be and while I've tried my hardest to escape that mindset seems like the deepest ocean possible and I'm just sinking more the harder I try to escape. But even with all of this happening I will console anyone struggling with their issues. It's the one thing I love about myself. All these reasons have made me inspired to become a clinical psychologist, so I can help others overcome challenges that I could never overcome. Because as terrible as the world may seem we have the power to change it, the real question to consider is why wouldn't you change the world for the better if you had the chance? On average 132 suicides per day is approximately 924 suicides by the end of the week. Which is 73% of our entire population. Mental health struggles are often overlooked, but if you have the chance to save a life, why wouldn't you try to take it? I've tried to leave the world behind countless times and I only wish someone would have listened to me. And Although I may not be able to be heard I have the chance to listen, that's a greater blessing than anything, even being given the chance to try and help others is a blessing and my life would feel better knowing that I am doing everything in my power to save a life.People often overlook the fact that we are all human but I believe that with this opportunity I can truly make a difference

I've struggled with mental health since I was nine. I am now sixteen and it just seems to progressively get worse and worse. For as long as I can remember I've suffered from depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Every day just feels like a battle and honestly, there are days when I feel like giving in. I feel like I have no motivation at all. I'm always tired, and every day just feels exhausting. I feel empty all the time and honestly, the only fulfillment I have right now is writing. I love to write because it's my safe space. It's how I cope with everything I deal with. It helps me a lot too but there are some days when I feel like it's too strong. And those are the moments when I start to cave in and think "Maybe the world would be better if I wasn't here". For example, right now things aren't going to well for me and I honestly am considering just letting go. It's not like anyone would notice if I disappeared anyway. It's not wonderful at all I feel just lifeless and kind of hopeless like I have no purpose here. Like I'm kind of just here for no reason. I also overthink everything so I have no friends. Some here and there but I never get too attached. Because there's no point, this affects relationships because people never stay friends with me for too long. This affects my career aspirations because I want to be able to help those who struggle like me thus leading to my love of psychology. I want to be a clinical psychologist and help others benefit from their struggles because I never had the chance to do so. It gets extremely hard also because everything people say you take to heart. An example of that is when my friends call me a bitch and I know they're joking but I cannot describe in words the sinking feeling my heart gets when I am called that. And having Anxiety is utterly impossible, I panic over every little thing. It all just comes crashing down on me, then you also have to deal with the pitiful looks or judgemental. And don't get me started on my PTSD when something triggers it I have a whole meltdown. It's a lot that all of these combined make me believe that I'm not worthy of love or that no one will love me because I am the way I am. Its confusing as well because half the time I don't even understand myself but then I get upset when others don't understand me either. I just want my voice to be heard. I've tried so hard to get to where I am today and honestly, I'm proud of myself but I wish I could be proud somewhere else because I feel I just let everyone down and it is honestly just terrible. I wish my mother had a better daughter, I wish my friends had a better friend,I wish my sister and brother had a better sister.I wish I was better

My dream version of my future self is one with a steady job and is just as driven as my present self. My future self won't be afraid to push or argue her way for what she wants. One who will love her job so much it becomes her who world. But she still has the time to be a good person.I want to be a person with a good personality and who respects others.Who does well under pressure and doesn't let things affect her as much as they would in the past.That is my future sself

I was in fourth grade, and I had a best friend who was diagnosed with cancer from then on my whole world just shattered from underneath me. He was the most amazing person that I have ever met sometimes I feel like when I am battling my depressive episodes or life just really seems to be eating me away and I feel like giving up he's there giving me a hug from heaven and sometimes I feel like that's all the strength I need to help me push through. He didn't know this but he was my everything my charlie, he was one of the first people who made me feel truly happy. To this day I still ask myself why it was him and not me, I feel like it should have been me because he had so much left to live for I didn't, because of his death I feel like I never smiled again he inspired me to become a pediatrician. But now I can see how the loss of a loved one can affect your mentality which is now my current passion of becoming a clinical psychologist. His death also affected me and my relationships with people because now I believe that if I get too close to someone I'll be hurt even more so I try my best to stay by myself. He was my everything and that pain is something that never goes away but I hope one day I will reunite with him and heaven and hold him like I should've done when we were kids. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life. He was my other half. His death also slowly worsened my relationship with God because every time I think of him I think of how unfair it was. Why was it his time and not mine? Why didn't he get to survive? why am I the one still here and not him? I will never be able to express the pain I feel knowing every morning, Christmas, his birthday, etc. That he's gone and I can't change that, even though with all my heart I wish we could switch places. Especially now I don't belong here but he does.But I can't bring him back and I think that's the part that kills me the most. Because what if there was something I could have done? I miss you Charlie...

I don't like emotions, I don't like feeling like I'm useless, I don't like feeling like I'm worthless, I just want a purpose. All my life I've been told I'm not worth anything, and maybe that's true, but if you knew me? If you could read my mind..you wouldn't be smiling, I know you will question how do I keep smiling? how do I keep laughing? The response? I don't know,I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to yell, but I can't I just can't, all I can do is smile, all I can do is laugh, even when deep down inside I'm falling apart, and even when you input cracks in my heart, What is my purpose? why am I here? the thoughts in my mind swirl around in my mind like a tornado, I've always been the type to say I'm okay, even when I'm not, even when I feel numb and empty like a shattered window on the floor. Dare I speak up? Dare I utter a word? I best not, for you the evil has already won, and now there are scars everywhere to prove that, I don't know my purpose,and I don't want to know my purpose, I just want to leave the world behind and fly in the skies, because all my life I never knew my purpose, but I think it's pretty clear that I don't have one, Maybe my purpose is to be an angel in the sky, maybe my purpose is to make the prettiest sunsets, just like my best friend.Maybe my purpose is to not have a purpose

I've always struggled with mental health. It's always just kind of been like a parasite, you don't see it but it's there. Like a cut underneath the skin, you can't see it but it's there. I've always had mental health issues since I was nine. I just always knew I wasn't like the other kids, while the girls wanted barbies I wanted books, rather than play with dolls and dresses I always dressed in sweats and just read books all day. Of course, there's nothing wrong with that. But I just always felt..out of place, like I'm not meant to be here.like I was a mistake Personally, as a person, I suffer from Anxiety, Depression, and PTSD. I can be very sensitive and very rude but that all depends on how you treat me. When I was younger I endured nine years of bullying, It kind of messed me up a little bit because now I am very cautious with those I trust and those I care for. Even now as a junior, I have endured a little ridicule here and there and sometimes it's easy to ignore it. But sometimes as a human, we can only take so much. I've always wanted to be in the medical field, ever since I was six years old because my role model has been and will always be my mother who raised me as a single mother. She has always inspired me to reach for my goals no matter how big or utterly ridiculous they may seem. And I will always love her for that, but she also damaged me in ways you can't even imagine as a mother. I was twelve when my life spiraled downhill...I was wearing sweats and a T-shirt, even to this day thinking about what I was wearing and everything I endured for about three months before finally speaking up disgusts me, he disgusts me. But my mom still chose him over me..and that is one of the worst pains I have ever experienced in my life. That's what brought my PTSD, anxiety has just always been there, and depression has been in my life since I was nine years old. I know this may seem very upsetting but to be completely honest, when you've had depression for seven years as I have, you start to believe that it's normal, that your scars are normal, your mindset is normal, that everything that is supposedly wrong with you is normal. I cope with all these things by writing, since I've adapted to no longer trusting people, and it helps a lot. Because when I am writing, it feels like I'm writing to a friend that never judges me. Like they just listen to everything I say and don't judge me. I lost my best friend due to cancer when I was nine years old as well. So mainly when I'm writing I pretend I'm writing to him and it helps heal my heart bit by bit. Even though I know he can't write back, it helps to know that at least he listens, I talk to him daily. Some people try to reach me on that level but I refuse, I can no longer trust anyone, It's terrible I know but this way I can't get more damaged I've already tried leaving the world behind. But God has other plans. Plans I don't agree with but I can't do anything about it. In my eyes, I will always be worthless and believe that nobody truly needs me. But I needed them and there not here.

Personally, as a person, I suffer from Anxiety, Depression, and PTSD. I can be very sensitive and very rude but that all depends on how you treat me. When I was younger I endured nine years of bullying, It kind of messed me up a little bit because now I am very cautious with those I trust and those I care for. Even now as a junior, I have endured a little ridicule here and there and sometimes it's easy to ignore it. But sometimes as a human, we can only take so much. I've always wanted to be in the medical field, ever since I was six years old because my role model has been and will always be my mother who raised me as a single mother. She has always inspired me to reach for my goals no matter how big or utterly ridiculous they may seem. And I will always love her for that, but she also damaged me in ways you can't even imagine as a mother. I was twelve when my life spiraled downhill...I was wearing sweats and a T-shirt, even to this day thinking about what I was wearing and everything I endured for about three months before finally speaking up disgusts me, he disgusts me. But my mom still chose him over me..and that is one of the worst pains I have ever experienced in my life. That's what brought my PTSD, anxiety has just always been there, and depression has been in my life since I was nine years old. I know this may seem very upsetting but to be completely honest, when you've had depression for seven years as I have, you start to believe that it's normal, that your scars are normal, your mindset is normal, that everything that is supposedly wrong with you is normal. I cope with all these things by writing, since I've adapted to no longer trusting people, and it helps a lot. Because when I am writing, it feels like I'm writing to a friend that never judges me. Like they just listen to everything I say and don't judge me. I lost my best friend due to cancer when I was nine years old as well. So mainly when I'm writing I pretend I'm writing to him and it helps heal my heart bit by bit. Even though I know he can't write back, it helps to know that at least he listens,I talk to him daily. Some people try to reach me on that level but I refuse, I can no longer trust anyone, It's terrible I know but this way I can't get more damaged I've already tried leaving the world behind. But God has other plans.Plans I don't agree with but I can't do anything about it. In my eyes, I will always be worthless and believe that nobody truly needs me. But I needed them and there not here.So I may be the problem,honestly I don't bother with who cares and who doesn't anymore,I know better.But I wish you guys the best of luck on your journey to healing

I have struggled with depression and anxiety ever since I was nine years old. It gets to the point where I have mental breakdowns every so often, it would get to the point where I would feel nothing, for days on end. My mom knew about my issues, yet she didn't do anything. So I decided to figure it out on my own, I researched what I was feeling and it said I might be experiencing severe depression. My mom gave in and took me to therapy, where I was given an actual diagnosis of depression. My therapist recommended medication but my mom disagreed it's been an ongoing battle every day for the past seven years. I endured sexual abuse when I was twelve and now have severe PTSD which is hard as well especially considering I am in a happy healthy relationship. I feel very upset all the time but he's there to comfort me. There are times when I feel utterly worthless and very sad and upset but he's always right there. Sometimes I can't help the way I feel and when I don't talk about it I often yell at my boyfriend that if he's unhappy he should just leave me like everyone else. But he just sits there and comforts me while I cry. There are also times when I show zero emotion, but then the next day I will feel happy and joyous all day so it's very confusing and hard to understand why I feel the way I do because I've never received help. My mom refuses to believe that her daughter could struggle with mental illness. But every day I am fighting my mind and that often leads to me being utterly exhausted. But then I have to deal with my mom up my back saying "your sixteen you don't know what exhausted means until you're an adult" but I do! I have gone through nine years of bullying, and about 3 months of sexual abuse, and I take care of my baby brother daily. So yes I do know what exhausted means. My advice to those people who struggle as I do is to ask for help and don't let the darkness outweigh your happiness because it is possible. I ask you to see yourself the way I do, absolute perfection,because you are worth everything and deserve all the happiness in life.It is possible.You are possible.

I'm a sixteen-year-old Latina who was born and raised in Fresno California, I don't speak spanish but I have taken Spanish classes in high school up until my current junior year. All three years of my high-school experience have been nothing but A's and B's and the occasional C in math. I have an excellent talent for writing and reading comprehension. I have even started writing a book based on real-life experiences I have endured. As a person, I am very kind and very generous unless you tip me over the edge. I love softball, English, writing, reading, and pandas. Personally, as a person, I suffer from Anxiety, Depression, and PTSD. I can be very sensitive and very rude but that all depends on how you treat me. When I was younger I endured nine years of bullying, It kind of messed me up a little bit because now I am very cautious with those I trust and those I care for. Even now as a junior, I have endured a little ridicule here and there and sometimes it's easy to ignore it. But sometimes as a human, we can only take so much. I've always wanted to be in the medical field, ever since I was six years old because my role model has been and will always be my mother who raised me as a single mother. She has always inspired me to reach for my goals no matter how big or utterly ridiculous they may seem. And I will always love her for that. I've always struggled with mental health and have my wounds to prove it, so I want to change that by helping others because I feel like helping others will help me heal and forgive myself along the way. But you also get to know many types of interesting people, but mainly me as a person I want to make a difference and help people heal, and help people realize that their issues don't define them. That's always been my dream because I too have suffered through the worst alone, so my mentality is just because I didn't have someone doesn't mean they deserve to feel alone as well. You never know what being there in the roughest times does for a person and honestly even getting that chance is worth more than you can imagine to me.So I hope you will consider me for this this field thank you

I am unique in many ways ranging from my intellect to my love of poetry, you don't see many 16-year-olds that write poetry or start writing books at a young age, yes I am writing a book titled "Joe" it is a non-fiction novel about my first love and how remembering the memories we made helped me move forward instead of being stuck in one place for who knows how long, My poetry ranges from sad to happy poetry and I write about pretty much anything you ask me too or I find interesting my favorite poems that I've written are titled "you give" which is about me giving all my love to someone who didn't give back and learning from that experience it goes something like this: You give and you give and you give until all your possible love is consumed by another person,you tell yourself that he’s different,he’s not like the others, but what about when you argue?,what about when you have a bad day?, do you still believe he’s not like the others? You cry and you cry and you cry until all your tears dry and you feel as dry as the desert. Where is he?Did he stay by your side and tell you everything would be alright? Or did he leave like the rest? You give and give and give but it's never enough correct? When will you learn your lesson You tell yourself that the reason he’s angry is because of you, that your the one at fault,you tell yourself that maybe if you change how you are,how you act,and what you feel maybe he’ll love you then you give and give and give until there's nothing else he can take With all his words, all his actions, and all his heart,he never wanted you, babe,he never did, because you gave, and gave, and gave and what did you receive in return, betrayal? More hurt? Baby he never wanted you, he never needed you, and you gave all of that for nothing Now look at your love, empty, angry, hateful,this isn’t you,it never was you,it wasn’t your fault,it isn’t your fault love, you gave and gave and gave all you had but now you have to learn to pick yourself up because he’s not coming back love…he’s not coming back I wrote this based on my ex best friend but during that time I was arguing with my boyfriend as well Some other talent I possess is I have a great singing voice and I have attempted to even songwrite although they haven't gotten very far,I'm excellent at running my best mile time is 9:57

Honestly in my opinion every book is important to read because each tells a different story that just one book cannot but if I have to choose it would be "Girl in pieces" by Kathleen Grasslow because it is a story about overcoming hard times and facing the world on your own with only one friend by her side and about 953 dollars the girl later discovers her true potential through her new friends that she makes at her new job working as a waitress,during this journey this girl asks for advice from the person who helped her the most at her mental institution, "Casper" as she as known gave her nothing but good advice the whole time and I think that's someone we all need in our lives, someone who is caring and leads us on the right path rather than the wrong one, because falling on the wrong path can lead to our worst of old habits, In this girls case that was harming herself in any way possible,but in today's society it could be absolutely anything, weather it be drinking, mental health, physical health, communication,abuse,even sucidal thoughts we all need someone in this cold-hearted world just like "Charlie" did. And as we all know in some cases that isn't easy but I encourage you to ask for help so children don't lose their lives,or so we don't lose someone close to us,because loss hurts more when you realize there was something that could have been done if you just listened, so I encourage you to ask or offer help if you need it, we need you, someone out there needs you,you just don't know it yet