When I tell people I’m the oldest of five kids, I usually get a look. Sometimes it’s sympathy, maybe a wince, or a knowing smile. If they know me well, they often say, “That makes sense.” And it does. My relationships with my parents, siblings and family has played a huge part in who I am today. Constantly prioritizing each of my siblings, not picking favorites, keeping good relationships with my parents, all of that has helped me become who I am today.
How I navigate my relationships with my siblings have shaped everything about me. It impacts how I lead, how I think, and how I carry pressure. From a young age, I never doubted who I was. I was raised confident and capable, always expected to set the example. I was the kid who didn't need validation or praise from anyone; I knew my worth. I craved excellence- not just for myself, but for everyone around me.
I could write pages about how my parents’ attention stretched thinner with each kid, or about the countless hours of babysitting I did after my youngest sibling was born when I was 13 years old. But what matters more is how that responsibility has shaped who I am today. Someone who finds themselves most satisfied by supporting other people, and who always tries to see the bigger picture.
This past Mother’s Day, all my mom wanted was a clean house- no gifts or big plans. Of course, I still got her a present, but I also took the lead on getting the house cleaned. I gave each of my siblings tasks that I knew they could handle and took on the harder jobs myself, knowing that arguing over chores would only cause stress for my mom. Over the years, I’ve gotten pretty good at reading people and figuring out what will work best for everyone. That way of thinking has helped me become a stronger leader, someone who earns trust by understanding others and someone who always strives to do what’s right.
That instinct to lead shows up everywhere- on the track or rugby field, where I’ve served as a team captain, or in DECA, where I’ve taken on a role as club president, and also in my daily life, where I constantly ask myself, “What needs to be done, and how can I help?” I hold myself to high standards, and I’m constantly motivated by pressure. I take pride in doing what’s right, even when no one’s watching. Always trying to fix everyone else's breaks, patching the holes and mistakes of forgotten Christmas gifts, and messes left in the kitchen. No fault goes unnoticed, and I can't afford a single mistake. For a long time, I struggled with the fact that not everyone thinks like that. Not everyone felt guilty about their screen time when they were eleven, or the urge to clean the whole house every time their parents went out of town. I thought that not a single second could be wasted that could be spent doing something productive. As I've gotten older, though, I've realized how many minutes are in a day, and that I do have a couple extra to take a break.
I still carry responsibility- I always will- but I’ve realized that part of growing up is trusting others to carry their share. I can’t patch every tear or clean every mess. Sometimes, I have to let my siblings fix their own cracks.
I keep my standards high and take advantage of every opportunity, but I also know my limits. If I feel myself about to snap, I let up a bit of pressure. And that too is part of being a leader. Knowing when to carry the weight and when to set it down.
Being the oldest daughter has shaped me in ways I’m proud of. It’s taught me how to lead with empathy, stay grounded under pressure, and hold onto positivity even under the weight of it all. But most importantly, it’s taught me that strength isn’t about being unbreakable- it’s about knowing when to rest, and rising stronger every time you do, because even the oldest daughter needs a break sometimes.