Growing up, my peers would talk about their grandparents like they were any normal figure in their lives. “Oh, my grandma’s picking me up early today to get ice cream” or “Ugh, I have to go to my nana’s house today after school, it’s going to be so boring.” As a child of two immigrants from opposite sides of the globe, I never had that privilege. Kids around me seeing their grandparents daily was not something I could relate to, since all four of mine were overseas. If I was lucky, I would see only my grandmothers in the summer every few years. But ever since second grade, I had basically lost one of my grandmothers to Alzheimer’s disease. My halmoni (grandmother in Korean) was a wise and soft spoken woman. I have fond memories of her teaching me Korean phrases and making me pajeon (Korean pancakes) when I was young. We both loved each other dearly; I would cherish every minute I could spend with her. I knew I was on borrowed time, and she loved to see her youngest daughter’s children. My mom was the only one out of five kids who married outside of her culture and had more than one child. When I was five, my grandfather passed away. We were living in Canada at the moment, and my mother could not make it in time for the funeral. My grandma losing her spouse was a factor that caused the initial stages of her Alzheimer’s disease. Losing a loved one by passing away and losing a loved one by Alzheimer’s can be quite similar. It was heartbreaking to visit my grandmother as I got older, because she was not the same person to me. In her early stages, she still recognized my mom, but she didn’t know she was married; even though she had been married for over 10 years. She had no idea who my sister and I were; we were unrecognizable strangers to her. We vanished as people from her memory, and that was devastating to me that she didn’t know who I was. Her conditions have only exacerbated since then. She lived with my uncle, but started to have dementia. She could not take care of herself; she lost weight and had no motivation to do anything. When my uncle, aunt, and cousin had to leave the house during the day for work and school, they fretted over whether she could handle being home by herself without any attentive care. Until one day, she left the apartment and began to wander mindlessly. Fortunately, the security guard of the building found her and guided her home safely before she had a chance to get on the streets. This was a wake-up call for my mom and her siblings that it was time to send her to a nursing home. My mom felt very guilty and shed many tears over this. Halmoni’s one wish to her children was for them to never put her in a nursing facility no matter her conditions, and they were going against her wishes that she could not even comprehend herself. Once she was sent to the care facility, she was so upset she refused to speak to my uncle and aunts. Sadly, none of our family could attend to her all day and make sure she was cared for, so as egregious as this was, it was the best and safest option for her. Once she was sent to the home, she was so upset she didn’t speak to my uncle and aunts. When Covid came, the nursing home refused to let in visitors, due to Korea’s strict quarantining policies and nursing homes being at higher risk for the virus. She was alone for almost one and a half years, none of our family could enter the nursing home to see her. When Covid started to settle down, my uncle was barely allowed to see her through the glass window of the door to her room. It’s been almost ten years since I’ve seen my grandmother. It always breaks my heart when I think about how she’s doing at the moment, and that she could not be there to see me grow and accomplish things in my school and life like other people’s grandparents can. She can’t see me graduate high school, meet my dearest friends and loved ones, learn about my interests, watch me go to college, get a career, and even maybe get married in the future like other grandparents can. After my dad’s mother passed away in sixth grade, my halmoni was the last grandparent I had, but it didn’t really feel like she was there. Having grandparents was something I truly envied; it is a hole in my heart that could never be filled. A big thing I learned about Alzheimer’s disease was that awareness is just as important as treatment. Knowing how it can alter the lives of the individuals and their families affected by it is extremely important. Although there is no cure, more people should be invested in learning about the disease itself and watch out for early symptoms in their elderly family members. Alzheimer’s disease has also inspired my career pathway. In university, I plan on majoring in neuroscience to learn more about Alzheimer’s and other brain disorders. I want to pursue a career in medicine, specifically neurology in order to research most brain disorders and find more answers on this condition. My personal connection to Alzheimer’s has motivated me to work with people on this topic and make an effort to improve people's lives.