The greatest challenge I faced being a mother was giving up my career in the U.S. Army after having my first child. As women and mothers, I feel like we are constantly in this battle between maintaining an amazing career and being the best mom possible. Leaving the Army was a decision between my career and making sure my daughter always had a parent around. As my husband and I were both on active duty, we wanted our daughter to have one stable parent- one parent that would always be there when she needed us. Though it was a challenging decision emotionally, it was intellectually easy. My husband was soaring through his career, as I had been held back while pregnant and unable to attend schools. On paper, his career was worth staying in the Army. So, I chose to leave. Leaving the military is something I do not regret for one minute- I know it was the right choice. We got pregnant again soon after I left the military, and my husband deployed for almost my entire pregnancy. If I had stayed in the military, I would have a support system. I would have even signed documents to allow a designated person to make medical decisions for my children. I would have depended on other people. Instead, I chose to be the one that everyone depended on when I left. When my husband deployed while I was pregnant, I was at the emergency room around six times with my oldest baby. I spent sleepless nights worrying about her with fevers and making sure she was okay. Though I was exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed, I knew leaving the Army was the right decision. I knew she needed her mom to be there when she was sick, not a designated family member. Though I knew leaving the Army was the right decision, the challenge between career and motherhood did not stop. My husband has deployed and left for trainings, schools, and trips within just a couple of days of notice. While I chose to leave the Army to be that reliable person, it is challenging not to miss my career. Most people think it is the recognition and praise that you miss most, but I miss the independence. It is a strange concept, as I wanted (and still want) to be the stable parent. Though I still need to be available if my husband’s job takes him away, I need something more for me. Perhaps, it is the financial independence that I am missing. Though it is challenging to find my own independence with so many people depending on me, it is a challenge that I find important to overcome. For the past few years now, I have been in graduate school. I started with my master’s degree and then moved on to my doctorate. I am now on track to finish my dissertation and graduate within a year! Becoming a professor in a flexible career path will allow me to both hold a rewarding career and be the best mother that I can be. Getting this scholarship is a stepping stone toward allowing me to finish my doctorate and breaking the barrier between motherhood as a military spouse and a rewarding career. By providing me with financial resources to finish my doctorate and help me achieve my goal of becoming a professor, this scholarship will enable me to show my daughters what it means to overcome obstacles.

Though I am in a technology field, the pandemic challenged me to think about sustainability in new ways. As our population continues increasing, sustaining human life becomes increasingly difficult. We have the emergence of new pathogens (like COVID-19, SARS, HIV, etc.), climate change, global warming, increased poverty, conflicts and wars, and decreased food resources. We saw both how the effects of COVID-19 slowed population growth with drastic deaths and how living in captivity detrimentally affected the population's physical and emotional health. Therefore, sustaining human life became a debate. I had a unique experience of moving multiple times during the pandemic and living in four quite different locations. I lived in a suburban neighborhood, military townhouse, city high-rise, and rural home. Each location brought a new perspective regarding the pandemic. At the beginning of the pandemic, I remember how grateful I was to have a backyard for my kids to play in while being in quarantine. I remember feeling sad for New Yorkers in high-rise buildings. Then, I experienced that high-rise quarantine life! It was terrible. We bought our house in rural America to escape the city but also because we wanted to live a more sustainable life. The reality is that the pandemic has changed my entire life. I saw how quickly Americans turned on each other, fought over toilet paper, and price gouged. Though there was compassion hidden at some corners, I found survival at most. When we are stressed, we all just try to survive. However, I never wanted to live my life just trying to survive; I want to thrive. I have lived in chaos and found my center. The pandemic was just another curveball to navigate. However, the pandemic awakened me to sustainability. Though controlling our population is unrealistic, we must figure out how we will do more than just survive in the future. There will be more pandemics. Climate change is happening. Poverty is increasing. Food resources are becoming more critical. We must figure out how to work together as human beings, not just to survive but to thrive. After getting my doctorate, I want to become a professor and educate IT students. However, I also want to become involved in local politics, integrating technology and cybersecurity education into our school systems. Sustainability is more interrelated than many people believe. Data centers consume 2% of the United States' total electricity, a concern as we face an energy crisis. The pandemic provided me time to reflect on our impact on the environment, which I want to translate into action.

"Make your bed."- Admiral William H. McRaven Military leaders often review Admiral William H. McRaven's original speech to new recruits. Admiral McRaven tells the story of navy seal training and morning bed inspections- how the task was simple and mundane in a world of chaotic training. Though the quote is part of a larger speech, he states that making your bed symbolizes your first accomplishment of the day. It doesn't matter what terrible things happen in the day- you will have completed something and can come back to that accomplishment. Though my bed-making habits left when I left the Army, the quote symbolizes more than making your bed. For me, the quote is about living your life with intention. There are many times in our life when chaos and overwhelming stress are unavoidable. There are many times in our life where we feel like we are not moving forward. However, it is when we focus on the chaos, stress, and stagnancy that we stop living with intention. By coming back to the made bed every day, we see at least one accomplishment. At the end of a stressful day, we see the made bed, and we can see the positive proof that encourages us to continue overcoming obstacles. The quote symbolizes accomplishing small tasks every day and focusing on accomplishments over setbacks. Personally, making your bed is about focusing on maintaining positivity when the world surrounds you with chaos. There are times when I am feeling overwhelmed or as if I am not productive when I will take a break and find something simple to accomplish. There are other times I will also not focus on negative aspects of how things cannot work. Instead, I focus on how to accomplish my goals and solutions to make things work. However, if the Army taught me anything, you cannot always break from the chaos. The chaos may strike before you have time to make your bed, and you must find calmness amongst the chaos. So, for me, the quote is not really about making your bed at all. It is about intention and focus. It is about not getting sucked into the chaos but navigating the chaos to achieve your goals.

Unfortunately, I believe technology can be a double-edged sword. Though I agree that technological advances provide multiple benefits within our modern world and will reduce the stress of overpopulation, I believe we often fail to realize the impact these advances have on our future environment. While we create a smart grid to tackle our energy crisis, our data centers create an energy crisis. We create sensor networks, wearables, biometrics, RFID, etc., to monitor and collect data continuously. Though we can use the data to predict threats, medical illnesses, and integrity violations, our world is increasingly built on 5-star reviews, likes, comments, shares, re-tweets, and social media influencers. Therefore, we face increasing controversy over technological advances in predictive analytics regarding its usage for threat hunting versus profit. I am a doctoral student and recently had the third chapter of my dissertation approved by my mentor. In the upcoming quarter, I will be seeking IRB approval to carry out my research study. My research topic concerns predictive analytics for insider threat monitoring and user acceptance. Insider threat incidents are a real-world problem for businesses that predictive analytics can solve, and it is a problem that I am currently researching. The results of my study may help to make a difference for the body of scholarly knowledge and practitioners. With that said, I want to make a significant impact in my lifetime. In fact, my dissertation adviser often has to tell me to scale back and not go overboard. Though I understand I am trying to graduate and not burn out right now, I am compelled to make a large difference in the world! While I do greatly believe that technology makes a difference, I also see the impact of technology to drive the bottom line at the expense of privacy and security. For example, bionic legs are amazing for combat vets. However, do the benefits of creating WiFi-enabled bionic legs outweigh the risks of cyber-attacks? We live in a world where we are interconnecting devices rapidly and monitoring everyone. We create targeted advertising and content filters using predictive analytics. The problem is that we not only allow Americans to live in filter bubbles, but we are creating massive division and weakening our cybersecurity. I absolutely want to make the world a better place, and I think the question for me is "how?" I recently started a blog for multiple reasons, but one of those reasons was to educate people on real-world problems, including technology-related. As a doctoral student, I read hundreds of research articles. Often they are terribly boring. When the news gets a hold of a research article, it seems to have a completely different spin! I want to be a researcher and educator who can relate to others. Through blogging and educating, I want to challenge people to think critically and outside their filter bubble. I also want to get involved in local politics so that technology and cybersecurity education can be integrated into our school systems. By educating others on topics in cybersecurity and technology, I hope to make the world a better place.

Unfortunately, I am currently applying to scholarships out of financial need, as I am trying to make it through the finish line of obtaining my doctorate! We recently moved from a low-cost area to a high-cost area, which doubled our housing and daycare costs. Though I am an Army veteran, my spouse still serves on active duty. As he can leave at a moment's notice, I maintain responsibility for our children. Because I was so close to finishing my doctorate, we made the decision for me to just stay focused until the finish line! Little moments have helped keep me focused. During the past quarter, my adviser approved of my first three dissertation chapters! Because I am "over the hump," I want to continue enduring! In the next quarter, I will be seeking IRB and committee approval. After approval, I can begin my research! Though I am moving through the academic work and maintaining a 4.0, it is challenging being an unfunded doctoral student. As I approach the final quarters of my dissertation research, I will maintain sole financial responsibility for my research studies- a cost that is not calculated into tuition. As we are already burning through savings and having to reach to family for support, I am seeking scholarships first before looking to student loans. I hope that you will consider me as a potential candidate for your scholarship award!