It felt…lonely. My single mom, who did everything she could to make ends meet and keep me happy, never got to spend time with me because she was always working. Always trying some new endeavor to make some extra money on the side, always trying to get her business ideas off the ground. Despite her efforts, progress often felt nonexistent. I can’t even imagine how things felt for her, especially given our living situation. We live with my grandmother, who let us stay with her after the 2008 recession resulted in her losing her job. “It was only supposed to be for a couple months,” she’d tell me, recounting the story of her move with me back into her parents’ house. “I was just supposed to find a new job and get back on my feet”. She just never seemed to be able to. Months turned into years, and we still live with my grandmother 15 years later. As a young child though, it never really bothered me. I was just happy to be in a house with people I loved, despite how utterly lonely it felt sometimes. Since I never had a phone growing up, and my mom never really had time to take me out on playdates, I got used to living in my own head. I would draw, or read, or play with my stuffed animals. I would always find something to do by myself- and that’s still a habit I have now. I can go a whole school day without saying anything to anyone, and having to interact with people for long periods of time is exhausting to me. In a way, I’d say that it was positive, as all the interests I picked up were entirely my own- not just something I did to fit in with a group of people. The hardest part was reigniting my relationship with my mom once I got older. After she finished her degree, and we were finally on more stable footing, she finally had more time to spend with me! Problem was, it was too late. Her repeated efforts to get me to do family activities and drag me out of my room felt unwanted, and it was like she was trying to tap into a facet of a relationship that just wasn’t there. She would always try to insert herself into the hobbies I’d found on my own, and it was honestly very irritating. I’d grown used to being alone, so when I no longer had to be it felt incredibly uncomfortable. Eventually though, we were able to form a relationship that matches where we are as people. It took me a lot of time to get used to being very close to her, and it took her a long time to stop trying to “make up for lost time”. She has been one of my biggest supporters through high school, and I’m very excited to share my life with her when I become an adult and start my higher education. I’m very glad to say I don’t feel nearly as lonely as I did back then.