I have always understood the importance of taking care of oneself, though I never quite felt like it was a pressing matter before enrolling in college. I thought that for a child of hard-working immigrants, I had it made! The reality that, this was not in fact the case magnified itself early freshmen year when depression and imposter syndrome reared their ugly heads over my tiny universe. Education is my passion, it had always come easy to me, but I suddenly struggled to care, to get out of bed, to go to class and function. It was like an out-of-body experience to see my friends and peers thrive when I felt like I was sinking into a boat filled with my visible despair. Then, I identified as a religious person, but I couldn’t pray away my crushed spirit or my struggling grades (and they did struggle)! I didn’t enjoy exercising or playing recreational sports, the foodie in me felt like it was dying as unhealthy eating habits [or lack thereof] rose and staying in bed with the blinds closed brought me more comfort and joy than anything else. I could see the fear and concern in the eyes of those who loved me, but it meant nothing to me if I couldn’t do for myself. I think it was a fight I saw coming, when an old friend and roommate made such a rude, offhand comment that bit at me so much I had to muster all the energy I could to shout the truth that I knew plagued me, “I’m depressed”. I hated that word, and I still do. The moment those words slipped from my lips the quiet stopped and the pain of reality set in, I wanted help, I needed help, and I couldn’t do it on my own. I reached out to my resident advisor who connected me with mental health resources and a counselor on campus—while I wasn’t comfortable going that route just yet, I knew I took a giant step and could take a few more. I picked up my phone and happened to catch my image in the reflection of the screen, it was not a sight to behold [I laugh about this memory now], but I called my best friends and shared my ugly truth anyway. Now I normally take such pride in my appearance because that is the first thing society will use to judge you, being in the shadows of depression for so long afforded me the privilege to get myself together and slip back into my friend group at least. I am so grateful for the steps I took to open up and the help my girls were so ready to give, we started eating breakfast and dinner together, and they joined me on walks, and told me about clubs they were joining in hopes I’d consider joining too. I won’t say it was easy, but it felt so good, and I didn’t feel the need to rely so heavily on my tribe as much anymore. What I thought was the hardest time in my life showed me the personal choices I have in my own mental, spiritual, physical and nutritional health. The COVID-19 pandemic was/is horrible, but it won’t kill me. I make time for the things that sustain me, I found that these states of health are connected, and I make room for help, for better eating habits and body positivity affirmations, and joy in hobbies. I had forgotten how much of a creative I am as much as I’m an academic, self-care reminded me of this!

My name is Monica Daout and I am going to change the world through the words on my heart, for I am not a dreamer, but rather an achiever. As a student studying political science with the hopes of becoming a Florida state attorney, I anticipate using my background of the study of law and its principle structure to serve and uphold the value of integrity that the republic of the United States constitution parades. I believe that my being in a position that was only a dream for people who looked like me will continue to inspire and motivate me to have a career path that projects the picture of a fist generation Caribbean girl studying life and the properties of justice. In just a few years I will be graduating from law school and ready to start my career that is already male dominated, facilitating remarkably cultural changes. My present is a blurred reflection of my hopeful future, as I hold new seats of leadership on service committees with my Student Leadership Council (SLC), the Event Coordinator for the Afro-Latnix Student Organization (ALSA), I realize I want to do more than just study government, I want to transform it. I hold leadership positions as President of the Black Female Development Circle Inc. and was formally the Black Caucus chairman of my previous university’s democratic organization, so I understand how important it is to use my personal background as a means of experience when looking out into the world that so desperately wishes to be equal with the morals of Americanism. As I gain experience working with other political scientist and begin to immerse myself even deeper into local politics, I rest comfortably in the confidence that my degree and participation in the organizations that has prepared me for my future are not in vain. I have faith that being the role model I wished to see growing up, will prevent me from being boxed in as a novice, but rather display the fruits of my labor. The application of my degree and experience in its entirety will be the proof, testifying on my behalf that I am not the failed hope of unfulfilled promises, but rather I am doing my best to be the representation, the voice, and the action we need in real life that is not performative. I aspire to be a Florida state attorney working on the policies behind criminal justice and law enforcement. We live in a time where I believe voices like mine are important, I know that my career projection will allow me to share tables with people who do not even know about some of the very things that the American people need and how we can work together to obtain it. As a child of immigrants, I have a multitude of viewpoints that unfortunately aren’t considered in the republic we wish to be, the republic the founding fathers had hope in. I believe that a Caribbean-American woman in law emphasizes the values America stands for but lacks as a whole.

My name is Monica Daout and I am going to change the world through the words on my heart, for I am not a dreamer, but rather an achiever. As a student studying political science with the hopes of becoming a Florida state attorney, I anticipate using my background of the study of law and its principle structure to serve and uphold the value of integrity that the republic of the United States constitution parades. I believe that my being in a position that was only a dream for people who looked like me will continue to inspire and motivate me to have a career path that projects the picture of a fist generation Caribbean girl studying life and the properties of justice. In just a few years I will be graduating from law school and ready to start my career that is already male dominated, facilitating remarkably cultural changes. My present is a blurred reflection of my hopeful future, as I hold new seats of leadership on service committees with my Student Leadership Council (SLC), the Event Coordinator for the Afro-Latnix Student Organization (ALSA), I realize I want to do more than just study government, I want to transform it. I hold leadership positions as President of the Black Female Development Circle Inc. and was formally the Black Caucus chairman of my previous university’s democratic organization, so I understand how important it is to use my personal background as a means of experience when looking out into the world that so desperately wishes to be equal with the morals of Americanism. As I gain experience working with other political scientist and begin to immerse myself even deeper into local politics, I rest comfortably in the confidence that my degree and participation in the organizations that has prepared me for my future are not in vain. I have faith that being the role model I wished to see growing up, will prevent me from being boxed in as a novice, but rather display the fruits of my labor. The application of my degree and experience in its entirety will be the proof, testifying on my behalf that I am not the failed hope of unfulfilled promises, but rather I am doing my best to be the representation, the voice, and the action we need in real life that is not performative. I aspire to be a Florida state attorney working on the policies behind criminal justice and law enforcement. We live in a time where I believe voices like mine are important, I know that my career projection will allow me to share tables with people who do not even know about some of the very things that the American people need and how we can work together to obtain it. As a child of immigrants, I have a multitude of viewpoints that unfortunately aren’t considered in the republic we wish to be, the republic the founding fathers had hope in. I believe that a Caribbean-American woman in law emphasizes the values America stands for but lacks as a whole.