I wrote this song as I was stuck in a self-destructive routine, which involved staying up most of the night in the midst of quarantine and graduating high school. Aggressive and menacing, "Justice" shows my mental state at rock bottom after my anxiety has taken over. After the main intense song ends, the outro depicts a sort of mental "hangover" that happens after the mental spiral that was the main song. "Justice" is my debut single from October 31, 2020. The power rush that this song gives me when I perform this live now reminds me of how far I have come in less than a year in my mental health journey. I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

I release music under the name MACION, and these photos are from photoshoots that loved ones helped out with. One of my friends splattered paint on me for the first two pictures, and I still have some green paint left in my hair weeks later! I edited the photos myself and plan to use the one of me lying down as the cover art for my future EP which will be released sometime in 2021.

I used to feel like I did not deserve to show myself love. Growing up on the spectrum was a struggle because I had a hard time connecting with peers even though I have always loved being with people. Because of my social difficulties and perfectionist tendencies, I would emotionally beat myself up for being unable to conform to social norms. My goals, relationships, and beliefs have always been important to me, and in the past, I felt as though my lack of self-love would help me achieve what I wanted. Putting pressure on myself to perform well would pay off because it would yield my best results. I especially would use this logic with academics, because I believed that if I put myself under pressure to achieve a certain test result, that result would become more possible. However, through taking the SAT last year, I realized that I would have achieved my highest aspirations had I been kinder and gentler to myself. My Christian beliefs have been impacted by my history of self-love. Scripture mentions denying ourselves, but it also mentions loving our neighbor "as ourselves" (John 10:27). I gradually started to move towards self-love through going to a new church last year, because the people there were accepting and open to different kinds of people. There were other people on the spectrum there, and it showed me that I was created the way I was for a reason. Keeping in mind my purpose for life, which includes loving others as myself, I started to move towards self-acceptance. Because in my mind, as long as I was doing my best and helping others, I was going to be okay. I began some volunteer work last year, and I became a church youth leader this year, which gave me a quiet sense of self-acceptance. Being around peers in the church helped me build new relationships as well. As my aspirations (like majoring in music), relationships, and beliefs were strengthened, my self-love was strengthened with it. Beliefs, relationships, and aspirations are bigger than just ourselves, and I believe exploring passions outside of ourselves can increase self-love. The independence that came with volunteering for my church also helped me love myself. As an autistic person, one thing that kept me from loving myself was the feeling of being dependent on others too often. I am a young adult, but at times, it feels as though I revert back to a young child emotionally. When things do not go my way, it can be emotionally overwhelming. However, the independence it requires for me to manage my emotions gives me a sense of worth. Sometimes, I still need help from others, but I have improved in my ability to work through my emotions by myself. Independence and caring for others has fostered my self-love, and my self-love has fostered my independence and care for others.