Olivia Rodrigo constantly inspires me to live authentically while also being able to feel comfortable with vulnerability. Many different lyrics from the GUTS album stick out to me as I face life as a teenage girl. Though tempted to pick the line "got your whole life ahead of you, you're only 19" since I am 19 and do struggle with feeling burnt out, lyrics from Lacy encapsulate my personal teenage experience a bite more accurately.
Lacy, oh, Lacy, I just loathe you lately
And I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you
Yeah, I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you
The lyrics I chose above felt personal as it exactly explains how jealousy towards one particular person can plague your mind. During my early teenage days while being in school, the concept of comparison was always on my mind. Every word, movement, sound, look was all curated to fit in with the other girls at my school. I wanted to be the smartest, the prettiest, the thinnest; I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be Lacy.
The first line "I just loathe you lately" feels like an explanation directed towards Lacy. Its as if Olivia is downplaying her obsession with Lacy by saying she only found Lacy to be intolerable as of recent. We know this to be a lie as rewinding in the song, there is a build up as Olivia points out all the things she notices about Lacy, while also stating her proximity to her. She mentions she's 'hidden in plain sight' yet she sees Lacy everywhere, and her constant presence is torture. This feeling of almost being trapped by your tormentors is what middle and high school feel like. No matter how hard I tried not to stare at the girls who I thought were better than me, it was impossible. It was impossible not to look at them and compare the things they had to the things I didn't have. So even though Olivia says she's been loathing Lacy as of late, the audience knows this feeling had been building up for a while.
The idea of jealously remains as Olivia then goes to hating herself for her obsessive behavior. She uses the word hate when describing her eyes, and compares the concept of obsessive comparison to falling for someone. When infatuated with someone romantically, it is common to be caught staring excessively, and the same can be said for its extremity. Olivia is saying that her obsession with being jealous of Lacy has become so extreme that her eyes are practically glued onto Lacy, thus saying how they 'fell for her'. In high school, one girl I was friends with had this same effect on me. I wanted to be her immensely due to her likeness with our peers. I practically studied her so that I could emulate her, and so I could be liked too.
The idea of worshipping is brought up in the last line in regards to how Olivia feels about Lacy. She is compared to a god as Olivia says her mind places Lacy on a pedestal. In essence, Olivias obsession stems from adoration; like one of a religious God or Deity. In current media, there is excessive praise for "perfect people", this translated in how I wanted others to view me. I took online advice to seem 'perfect' because I wanted others to worship me in the ways I worshipped the "Lacy's" of my school. Similarly to Olivia, I too hated the way I'd became possessed with craving perfection.