In my mind, I was gone before it all happened I was the tragedy, and things aren't really as they are now, this is all imagined. Please, don't cry, as you hear me coming through, I insist this exists, it's true, I'm here with the crew, and we're all waiting for you, but do rush, take your time, and do what you need to do. When I had to go, I didn't believe it so I want you to know, that yes you still, even after you die, shed tears, and wonder why... And not for me, but for you, I did cry. As I faced the fear, impossible certainty was clear this was the end of my life, and death was never before this near. I thought about you, how you'd respond, how you'd react , when you finally knew. I thought we had more time. Living was a crime, now I serve death with my time I couldn't help you then, I lost and sometimes awful bad friend, I hear you speak to me. How well you knew me then, that you can still feel me here and now.

I believe the pandemic has changed the world of Substance Abuse Disorder (SUD) Treatment by increasing the public's general need for treatment services. Available substance abuse treatment, harm reduction, and emergency services have become less accessible for those struggling with addiction. The pandemic isolated the world; it increased and triggered the mental health issues that go hand in hand with SUD. I suspect that new and existing substance abuse disorders have arisen and caused many people to fall into a new addiction or relapse. Little to no access to mental health services due to overwhelming demand, lack of treatment options, and social distancing requirements have exponentially increased the need for Substance Abuse Disorder Treatment all over the world. I would expect an ideal online treatment center to be effective, practical, and swift in responding to the needs of the pandemic-changed society. The ideal Substance Abuse, Online Treatment Center, should consist of compassionate, accepting, relentless addiction treatment counselors that unite through technology to reduce the need for emergency and crisis services. If I were granted funding to join the online Substance Abuse Disorder Treatment Services team, some assistance I would offer would be talk therapy, peer-to-peer counseling, law enforcement crisis training, harm reduction, crisis intervention, 24/7 response availability/accountability, as well as the potential to form a specialized team of treatment counselors trained to deal with the ever-evolving issues that have affected the new and existing people of the substance abuse treatment community. Many disadvantaged communities are overlooked regarding mental health and substance abuse disorders and need a specialized team with extensive knowledge of a client's issues. I decided to study Law due to my compassion for those overlooked members of humanity. In my advocacy, I have found that the disadvantaged are at higher risk and fall within the increased need for substance abuse treatment services category. Mentally ill teens, minorities, LBGTQ+, and parolees face new unexplored issues due to the pandemic. The treatment teams I would build would have peer-to-peer focus sessions to explore and better recognize and diagnose these issues with greater speed and accuracy to expedite a treatment plan, decreasing the need for emergency treatment and crisis intervention situations. Those in the grasp of SUD suffer daily. Many with substance abuse disorders do not understand how their addiction affects them and those around them. Educating the community and empowering those affected by SUD, both directly and indirectly, will strengthen the minds and hearts of those not just in treatment, but all over the world. My compassionate role in the online treatment services for Substance Abuse Disorder Treatments would turn clients into advocates, transform law enforcement into allies, and help all involved form a new attitude toward life and treatment. Online treatment puts the power of recovery and stabilization in the laps of those who need help the most. Unbiased, educated, compassionate, relentless counseling and advocacy are the keys to humanity's survival. Sincerely, M. Land Student of Law Advocate to All

The Curious Little Girl and the Big-Brained Hero (An Inspirational Tale) At six years old, I loved to dance and skip along the brick of the front yard flower bed. Since flowers never grew inside the bed, I decided I would be the flower. I'd laugh at my own silliness. Maybe when I got older, I could plant something pretty there. Everyone would like that because flowers make people happy. I dreamed of a different life, as I balanced on the flower beds crumbling border. Singing to myself and every car passing, I believed that if I sang loud enough, someone driving by would discover my amazing, perfectly pitched tone, and I’d be famous! Introspective and wise at a young age, I had always been aware of the light that I shine into the lives of those around me. I often reflected on the treatment (or lack of it,) that I received from the elders in my life. I noticed that other children in my class had gone on vacations, had bedtimes and their own bedrooms, clean clothes, and their hair is done every morning. I decided the adults in my life had hurt my feelings, but I didn’t want to be harmful or act out because I figured they didn’t understand I had feelings. Maybe, when they were little, someone broke them too, and because of that, they believed how they treated me was okay. I couldn’t blame them for the pain they never processed. I learned unconditional love and acceptance by loving myself and those around me in a way that allowed everyone to live their life without fear of rejection. When I had my children, I spoke to them about these thoughts. I wanted my children (my legacy) to know that it is essential to be mindful of the thoughts and feelings of those around us. I taught them to always be careful in handling minds and hearts. I have been getting used to the idea that there was nothing and no one to fall back on; I mastered the art of remaining positive in tense, near-unbearable situations. In my darkest moments, feeling as if I have been cursed, I rise like a Phoenix from the flames. I reach out to a friend that doesn’t have the same mental strength. I listen, only speaking of understanding; I tell them I know why and can relate. I come out of bouts of depression as a stronger person. We are allowed to feel down because we can’t give up. We have to keep on going because we are alive; since we are alive, we have to live. My experience with mental health has convinced me that I am strong of mind. I fight my mental illness with positivity and believing in myself; I use what my anxiety tells me against itself. I realized that I have always dreamed of being the most competent person in law. Dressed sharp, I’d navigate through legal and governmental discussions with coherent intellect. Easy and breezy, I would walk into a courtroom, command attention, and use my big brain to free an innocent person or restore and ensure the rights of someone who has been ignored or taken advantage of! I would save the day! Thinking back to the little girl singing in the front yard, dreaming of what she could never have, I remember how I got so strong. I used my depression to inspire myself, lift myself, and always remained my biggest fan and encourager. My depression has encouraged me to apply my wisdom, righteousness, and strength to help mentally ill members, of disadvantaged communities, in a non-profit legal setting. I want people to know that they are not forgotten and that someone cares. That I understand and want to help. I want to be the big-brained hero who saves the day! Hey, maybe my story could be a musical… Thanks for existing, M. Land

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far say, yet today feels so desolate. Months of anguish had all built up to this. It felt like the end of the world as I knew it, I did not feel fine. Three months ago, I had to give up the man I love, my best friend. He had gotten another woman pregnant. I was surely on the highway to hell; my spirit was crying for leaving. My soul ached for his. I had been a fool for lesser things. Even miles apart, I could feel him aching as I was. So many nights, talking. talking, only me and him. I was in love with a shooting star. I was tormented, thinking he would fall, and I would not be there to catch him. My heart was wrenched, and my mind screamed! I think I need help; I am drowning in myself. Just as I felt my heart nearly stop beating, the radio seems to get louder on its own. Had it been on this whole time? A new and unfamiliar tune… I know where you been, where you are, where are you goin' / I know you're the reason I believe in life / What's the day without a little night? / I'm just tryna shed a little light / It can be hard, It can be so hard / But you gotta live right now / You got everything to give right now (Verse 3) Logic-1-800-273-8255 Without words or hesitation, I sent him this song. Our pain melted as we listened together. At that moment, our story; was able to go on. Logics, 1-800-273-8255, saved both our lives that day. Though now he is gone, this song brings me to him. Rest in Peace, My Love.

It's time to have a better life. Now is the time, Bryant & Stratton is the place. Over the past several years, I've noticed that many of my issues as a single mother trying to provide for my family would be solved by furthering my education. I draw an extraordinary amount of motivation knowing that my degree will present me with new opportunities, demonstrate the importance of education to my children, and renew my faith in myself. While searching for new jobs, I noticed the postings I would love to pursue require a degree. My field of Food Service Management limits my earning potential and does not allow me to apply my intelligence or think creatively. As a single mother of three, earning my degree will increase my job satisfaction, as well as my salary. Increasing my job satisfaction and earnings will insure my family's stability. Whenever I get a new assignment or participate in a discussion in my courses, I share my work and ideas with my children. Sharing my hard work with my children demonstrates to them new perspectives on different approaches to learning. I consider my children part of my team. Completing my coursework and maintaining a 4.0 GPA, I am taking a hands-on approach to show my team that I am putting in my work just like they are. I draw motivation knowing that my children have become better listeners and critical thinkers, just from seeing how much effort I put into my school work. I have faced so much adversity as a single mother in the last 3 years of my life. Most recently, my fiancé and my brother passed away within a year of each other. Besides my children, they were all I had. They provided me with so much support, mentally and financially. When they passed my children, and I were devastated. Once that initial shock wore off, I knew that I needed to do something to insure my family’s future stability. With my brother’s help, my fiancé and I had just secured stable housing after being homeless for a year and a half. When I lost them, I lost faith in everything, including confidence in myself. Earning my degree, while working and taking care of my children, I am slowly renewing the faith I have in myself. Faith that I can make sure that the hard work my fiancé, my Brother, and I put in to create such a wonderful life, can never be taken away by their passing. I am the best candidate for this scholarship. Being a single mother motivates me in my academic, professional, and personal life. Looking at my children and thinking about the days that each of them came into the world, I remember that each child saved my life. Sometimes, when I looked around, they were the only ones I had. They have seen my struggles and continue to watch me climb the mountains that appear in front of us while carrying them all on my back. With no family to help, and nothing to fall back on I push forward. I can only rely on myself. I talk to my children, show them affection, and tell them that, I am proud of them. I tell them everything will be okay. That together we can do it. One day, when my children are older, I hope that they draw strength and motivation from seeing their single mother succeed against all odds to give them the best life possible. Winning this scholarship will ensure I can fund the education that is so vital for my academic success.

You can spend your whole life asking questions, to find that there is no answer to be found. Not every question we have offers absolute answers. Often, the answers we find are valuable lessons and personal truths. When we seek insight from objective truths, our knowledge tree grows without bounds. New answers lead to new questions. New questions open worlds of new perspectives and introspection. Our minds open we become enlightened. The more we know of the world, the better we know ourselves. The importance of learning is of the highest importance to me. Meeting new people, I bring my encyclopedia of knowledge and perspective. Each new person I share my collection of thoughts with, I learn a new personal truth. I always try to keep an open mind. If I do not agree with how the person I am communicating with lives or I perceived their sentiments to be contrary to my own, I grow because I have learned that they exist. We return back into our worlds when our conversation is over. Maybe they have thought about who I am, as I reflect on who they are. We take nothing from each other and do not harm. We inspire growth in our spirits. We either have affirmed who we are with truth or decided to change our created facades. We have new answers, to questions, we did not know existed. In my life, I will never stop my quest to learn. I do not believe that even if I tried, I could stop the process that is learning. I could choose not to research useless information. I could put down books and ignore history. I could live in a way that creates a whole new path into a foreign new world. It would surely be lonely there. Ignorance would be bliss. Or would it? We get from this life what everyone else gets—one life and one life only. By learning everything I can about who I am, and how I am viewed by those around me, I can have the answer I seek at the end of my life. The answers I had searched my whole life for, I am confident will be clear. I cannot be sure, that the information I am gathering for my life portfolio is what I need for the final test. But I will be prepared the best I can, armed with research, and estimated answers learned only from experience. Learning is so important, for the advancement of mankind. If we stop learning and never discover new things or have innovative, inventive, and unique thoughts, we cannot inspire growth and understanding within our communities. We will forget how to treat ourselves. We will forget how to treat others. Life will lose meaning and value. The world will never arrive at a mutual ground, where everyone can feel peace and acceptance. The more we learn about ourselves and other people, the more we can accept our roles in this lifetime. When we know to accept ourselves, we in turn accept others for who they are. We can all bring our lives encyclopedia to the table and share compassion, experiences, unity, and love. By gathering knowledge and spending our lifetimes in a perpetual quest for learning, we can someday understand how to communicate effectively enough to demonstrate that there is no need for violence. There will be no need for war. Weapons will cease to exist, in physical form dismissing the use of bullets disguised as words... Learning gives us infinite power of knowledge and the potential to discover the secret to eternal life.

Ask not what you can do for your mental health, but what your mental health can do for you. College students severely overlook the importance of mental health and emotional well-being. In a rush to meet a deadline or keep up with the demands of friendships and family expectations, they forget about self-care. College is a strange new world, which brings new feelings and unexplored perspectives to the surface. Unsure of everything, but the need to succeed, they brush off these uncertainties. They leave anxieties and depression to build. Unable to vocalize and share their feelings for fear of revealing weakness, they push everything down inside. I spent my teen, and early adult life being an extreme introvert. I hid my deepest insecurities from those around me and myself. I was afraid that I was the only one feeling as I did. I tortured myself with brutal self-talk. Being pessimistic, I told myself that because I had failed before, I would keep being a failure. That every single defeat, no matter how small, was indeed who I was. I found that when I looked around at the people that I associated with, they shared the same pessimistic views as I did. I started to realize that the attitude I had about myself, reflected the relationships that I keep in my life. The negativity that I put into the world came back to me, in the form of misery-loving company. I struggled to get out of bed, day in and day out. Day in and day out turned into weeks, and months. I decided that it was time to seek help. Feeling depressed was not a new concept. Everyone goes through it. I asked myself, how do others survive the perpetual rut that is anxiety and depression? I researched my feelings and found support groups. I found people with thoughts and feelings just like mine. I begged to know what medications they took and how to "cure" these feelings. I found that mental health is not an easily curable thing. That the remedies would be the hardest journey, I would ever have to face. I had to learn to be brutally honest with myself while focusing on remaining positive. Repeating my mantra, "Positive in, Positive out. Positive Out, Positive in." I had to pay close attention to the way I would speak to myself, correcting myself multiple times a day. Apologizing to myself, explaining why the things I had said to myself, were the cause of my depression and anxiety. Eventually after two years of working on being open and honest with myself, and those around me my life changed. The sun came out, the world had a different glow. A new family of friends surrounded me. I had even become someone that people looked to for inspiration. I had positive words, and techniques to share. I learned how to listen and help others identify other mental health issues, just by listening. I have to offer private truths, to let them know they are not alone. Being a mental health advocate is one of the most rewarding and healing experiences that I have ever had the pleasure to be a part of. I grow and heal from everyone that I meet. I do not have all the answers. I just know that no feeling is final. It is up to us, as individuals how long wish to stay inside those feelings. There is someone who did not wake up today, that wanted to be alive. Tomorrow is never promised. We need to live because we are alive!

Each of my children has saved my life, just by existing. Every time I learned that I was pregnant, any worry or wrong path I could have taken dissipated before my mind's eye. My children motivate me to be a better person. To make a difference in this world, I know I need to be that difference myself. I realize that my children are an extension of me. In every action or reaction, I make, I reflect on those who are watching and learning from me. My children. Would I want my children to act or react as I am at that moment? Everything that I do, I do for my children. I take care of choosing my words when speaking to them so that they feel like valued equals. Making sure that they feel heard and understood and can understand me. I let them know we are a team. I encourage them to lift each other and help each other build upon themselves by proving each other peer insights. Since I am their main example of how grown-ups should present themselves in the world. I teach that consistency matters and kindness, hard work, and general ethics are important. I often have deep conversations with them to explore topics that open their growing minds to new perspectives. Being a single mother has shaped me by offering me, unconditional love. A chance to know what a mother's love is. To feel the love, that I did not receive, from my mother. As a child, I was the oldest child to a young single mother of three. My mother struggled with mental health and substance abuse issues. My mother was never fully present, as I do not recall any displays of affection, talks, or things as simple as help with homework. My mother viewed my siblings and me as burdens. Often leaving us to run free in my Grandparent's den where we all lived and slept. All four of us. My two younger brothers, my mother, and myself. I often functioned as a mother figure for my little brothers. I recognized that my mother made no attempts to change or get help. When I grew to a young adult, age 16, she told me, that her job was done. The truth was, I had not lived at home since I was fourteen. I withdrew from high school at 16, received my GED the same year, and attended college before my graduating class, graduated. Testing into community college; college level, with only a ninth-grade education. I learned how to be strong, celebrate my accomplishments, and look only inward for encouragement. My mother's shortcomings as a single parent taught me so many important things. I always treat my children in a way that they feel valued. I explain to them how they make a positive difference in my world and the world around them. They are undoubtedly aware that mental health is vital for them and their community. I encourage them to be themselves because there is no one else like them. To always speak freely and listen without judgment. They are informed of the dangers of substance abuse, seen and unseen. I adore leading by example, showing my children that it is important to keep going even when giving up offers the easiest path. Instead of hiding my struggles, I share them. Every step of the way, they know every adversity I faced. How I used critical thinking, to move mountains. My children are strong leaders, with positive minds. They are my inspiration to always keep going. I am forever grateful.

David aka Davey Gravey was only thirty-seven years old when Covid-19 showed up. I had not seen my brother in person in close to two years, because of the pandemic. David was immunocompromised, from a kidney disease called, IgA nephropathy or Berger’s disease. Every time David would get sick, his immune system would,” betray” him, aiming right for the kidneys. His disease appeared when he was twelve years old. It was very scary watching my rambunctious, innocent baby brother hurt. I can never forget it. My brother went on a ventilator, after he oh so kindly, passed me Power of Attorney. He was not married, and never had children. My nightmares came to life as I held his hand and watched him leave, far too soon. How unfair? David was a bright spot in so many people’s lives. I knew that when all the kings and queens learned the jester was gone, laughter would cease in the kingdom. David was always so positive. He fought off the grim reaper, so many times. He is making jokes while on his potential deathbed. David feared being a burden. He would use humor so that you would forget his pain. David would hide how sick he was from you so that you would feel comfortable in his presence. I never wanted my brother to feel a burden for his suffering. I’d try to make him laugh back. I told accused me of telling grandma jokes. He was right, I do. He was always much funnier and likable than me. Dave had no known enemies at the end of his life. Even though Dave spent much of his life in hospitals, I was shocked at his memorial when I learned, that even his closest friends had no clue about his illness. Wow. David has inspired me, even more in his passing. How lucky was I to have this earth angel by my side for so long, in my waking life? Those that had, never experienced the pleasure of knowing David, were spared the real tragedy. As I sat and mourned, crying for the death of his mortal life, my purpose became clear. In his passing, his memory set me on a blazing path, to devote myself to helping others feel less broken. I am a sharp focused critical thinker, with a powerful sense of compassion. My strengths are, advocating and aiding those who are most in need. It is an utterly amazing feeling comforting someone who is in distress, you can take their grief from them, just by listening and relating. You can see years of agony releasing from their tortured faces. Relief and worry dissipate from their aching hearts and bodies. Thank you, Dave, for showing me how to do this for people. I am putting my whole being into my academics so that I can finally, put real grease behind my advocacy! I cannot wait to be a legal aid, filling out and filing, different legal documents. Mind-altering to think that things as simple, as a form, a pen, and knowledge, could turn someone’s life around. Save them, heal their broken. Instead of trying to explain how it will all be all right, I can show them….So many times, in my life, I have done as my brother did. I spared my comfort and mental health so that those around me would not hurt as I did. I realize even when I am at my weakest, I am still one of the strongest people I know. I want to empower others! Guide them to their inner strength! Show them! Make them believe, how very strong they are! Even though sometimes, we can feel so alone, we are not! Most importantly…... NO FEELING IS FINAL!!!! Thank you, Melissa Land