Blueberry. A fruit that very rarely tastes just right, usually too tart or mature. After January of 2021, blueberry has never been and will never be just a fruit to me, it will have been the start of an addiction. It was just a normal afternoon at the tennis courts. The shuffling of feet, the sound of tennis balls hitting off racquets *ping… ping…*, and my least favorite, Coach yelling “17’s.” After what felt like endless running, practice came to an end. My friends and I headed to the bathroom to warm up before parting ways. For the past couple of weeks a couple of the girls had been encouraging me to vape with them. “It’s not bad for you like the commercials say.” I knew it was but I also just wanted what every fourteen-year-old girl wants, to fit in. I gave in. It was a bittersweet experience. I was coughing uncontrollably and quite literally thought death was right around the corner. While catching my breath I could hear the sounds of the girls snickering and cackling. A few seconds later the head rush came on, a feeling I’m sure many kids my age are accustomed to. And so it started. “There’s nothing new under the sun.” Every kid has heard their parents say this at least once. I sure did when I got caught vaping a few weeks later. This would be the first of many. What felt like a never-ending cycle of hiding, lying, re-gaining false trust, and getting caught once again. Never in the same way but all the same in the end. A suspicion from my mom, a lie from me, and eventually my mom catching me in that lie. I’m not sure why it took so long for me to realize that I was ever going to outsmart my parents, because that’s what it was about to me. Not the fact that what I was putting into my body could destroy my dreams of playing professional tennis or of becoming an attorney. No it was about not getting caught. Looking back I see how short-sighted I was being. August 2022: I was caught for the last time. This time was different. It might have been because I started to feel the effects of my addiction physically or because the punishment was the worst yet, getting my brand new car taken away. Either way it was different. It didn’t take long after that to decide that hiding from my addiction wasn’t going to be how I was going to be able to start recovering. I had seen a therapist in the past but just like almost every relationship I had before, it was based on a lie. This time it was my choice. I went to my parents and told them I needed help. Told them that I couldn’t do it on my own but that I wasn’t ready to talk to them about all my struggles. Taking that step was the best thing I could’ve done for myself. For too long I put my family in a tough position. My parents couldn’t trust their child and my younger sister’s image of her big sister had been tainted. That wasn’t fair to any of them. I’m not going to say that everything is perfectly fine now because that would be far from the truth. Would life have been easier without an addiction? Possibly, but what I know for sure is that I wouldn’t be the same person that I am today. I AM Madison Kailee Hill and I am proud of how far I’ve come.