Mental health has impacted every aspect of my life including my education and career choices. My first experiences with mental health began as a child. The environment I was raised in created who I am now. I am an empath by both nature and nurture. Out of necessity I learned how to read and feel the emotions of other people to survive. That trait has translated into all of the relationships in my life. I take on others pain and do it willingly and naturally. Growing up my mother called it a gift, but the older I got the more I realized how detrimental my “gift” is to my mental health. While my first experiences with mental health were not positive ones, I have grown from those and I am glad they have led me to where I am now. Mental illness runs in my family and generations of trauma has followed me into my life. Having a parent with mental illness is such a difficult journey. I have always struggled with feeling resentment towards the person who put me through hell, while also acknowledging they are simply a product of the pain they endured in their life. I have tried not to be angry with my father for trying to leave me alone in this world so many times. Understanding he is in a world of pain that I couldn’t see as a child but feeling it was unfair to do to me. I believe many children go through similar situations. I hope to use the tools I learned in my healing journey to help others who are struggling through these tough situations. I am now older and learning how to handle my mental illnesses, how to set boundaries with people, and how to say no. For so many years I never understood how it was a gift when it came with such negative repercussions. However, in my healing journey I have realized that maybe my empathetic nature is a gift. I am entering into the social work and public health fields for my graduate education. I intend to work with vulnerable populations of women and children. I will be using my “gift” to help the people I am working with. Leaning how to use my trauma and struggle with mental illness in a positive way is something I have been working on and am excited to continue to work on in the future. I am focused on my healing journey which will be a lifelong struggle. When I was younger one of my therapists had me practice this exercise where I wrote what she called “impact goals.” When I am mentally struggling with feeling worthless or that life is too hard, I write a list of how I want to make an impact in this world. This grounding exercise is still something I practice and has led me to the career path I am on. A few of my impact goals that have come from my own experiences with mental health are centered on working to bridge the gap between minority women and children and healthcare. Furthermore, I hope to make an impact in the world of proper reproductive health education. The experiences I have with mental health have shaped my undergraduate and graduate educational goals. Being raised by a parent with severe mental illness has propelled me into a career in social work and public health. Mental health in the United States is a public health crisis, especially in minority populations. I focused my undergraduate education on health sociology where I learned the public health side of mental health. My educational and personal experiences encouraged me to apply to graduate school for public health and social work. I will be attending the University of Southern California in the fall. My social work graduate education will focus on children, youth, and family, and my public health graduate education will focus on maternal and child health. My graduate education focuses on all aspects of health, mental and physical for these vulnerable populations. While I have not yet figured out the job position I want in the future, I do have many goals for my career. I hope to enhance overall human well-being by focusing on mental and physical health in vulnerable populations. I plan to work as a reproductive and family health educator for the most underserved communities in the United States. Furthermore, I hope to focus my research on the physical and mental health impacts of insufficient healthcare and health education for these populations. My experiences with mental health have taught me that life comes with many challenges, and we cannot possibly understand what others are going through. It is important to be kind and patient.

I have belonged to several communities in my lifetime. Community involvement became a normal part of my life since a young age. When I began my undergraduate career at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, I immediately sought out the best ways to serve my community. Gentrification has pushed many of the low-income and minority residents out of Chapel Hill. While serving on campus was important, I found myself making a deeper impact with those outside of my school. I dedicated much of my community involvement to working with low-income or homeless individuals. I worked in a community garden that grows fruits and vegetables for those who cannot afford fresh produce. My Friday nights usually consisted of volunteering at a community center for adults with special needs. My most impactful volunteer experience, however, was working with the Syrian refugee community in Chapel Hill. During my sophomore and junior years there was an influx of Syrian refugees entering the area. I was working through my health sociology courses at the time and wanted to understand how what I was learning applied to my community. Much of my education and research was focused on minority and immigrant health. I spent time working with individuals who had lost so much and were having to restart their lives. I volunteered as a tutor for the children who were entering the local schools. I would help adults read health documents, bills, insurance statements, etc. My work made me more aware of the separation between the U.S. healthcare and education systems and the minority/refugee populations. The knowledge and experiences I gained with my community involvement in college inspired me to apply for a position as an AmeriCorps VISTA working in the public health field in a community with a high population of refugees and immigrants. I moved to Erie, Pennsylvania, where I was working firsthand in these minority communities tackling COVID-19. In my job I helped to conduct research on COVID-19 and to launch programs to ensure COVID-19 tests, personal protective wear, and mental health resources were accessible to the minority communities. The COVID-19 pandemic has shed light upon the immense socioeconomic and racial disparities in the distribution and quality of healthcare. Working with the minority communities in the Erie area, I have personally experienced the strained relationship between these communities and both healthcare providers and public health officials. There is a long history of distrust amongst minority communities. I have been seeking to help bridge the gap between healthcare systems and these communities, primarily by working with marginalized mothers and children. My team’s work has protected hundreds of lives from the detrimental impacts of COVID-19. While I am leaving this community to begin my graduate education journey, my hope is I have helped give the community enough tools to successfully care for its most vulnerable members. I will be starting my dual master’s in public health and social work program in August of 2021. My program is focused both on community health and on maternal and child health. In continuation of my undergraduate studies, I will focus on minority communities, as they are the most marginalized. I hope to use my graduate education to advocate for minority communities, especially mothers and children.

Reflecting on the year 2020, I have realized it has been the most important and challenging year of my life. I graduated from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in May of 2020. I then began my journey into the public health field. Like many people I lost my job during the COVID-19 pandemic and found myself feeling somewhat overwhelmed. However, the adversity motivated me to apply to the AmeriCorps VISTA program. I accepted a job working with vulnerable populations in Erie, Pennsylvania, the program goal being to mitigate the effects of COVID-19. I dedicated 2020-2021 to helping conduct research on COVID-19 and launching programs to ensure COVID-19 tests, personal protective wear, and mental health resources were accessible to minority communities. The COVID-19 pandemic has shed light upon the immense socioeconomic and racial disparities in the distribution and quality of healthcare. Working with the minority communities in the Erie area, I have personally experienced the strained relationship between these communities and both healthcare providers and public health officials. There is a long history of distrust amongst minority communities. I have been seeking to help bridge the gap between healthcare systems and these communities, primarily by working with marginalized mothers and children. Gaining firsthand experience with these women and children in the middle of pandemic has inspired me to focus my career on child, youth, and family health. The experiences I have gained in 2020 have encouraged me to apply to graduate school for public health and social work. I will be attending the University of Southern California in the fall studying both social work and public health. My social work graduate education will focus on children, youth, and family; my public health graduate education will focus on maternal and child health. 2020 furthered my education and focused my career. I hope to enhance overall human well-being by focusing on mental and physical health. These are experiences I will always remember and will carry forward into my career. The pandemic also taught me that time is not a given and to do what you really love when you can. During 2020 I moved ten hours away from my home state to live on my own. I had no idea how challenging it would be to live so far away from my friends and family in the midst of a global shutdown. This experience has helped me grow professionally and personally. Furthermore, I have been able to prove to myself that I am prepared to move across the country for graduate school. 2020 has been one of the most difficult years for me, but it has also been a time of personal growth, clarified perspective, and increased resolve.

As the first LGBTQ+ person in my family, I carry immense pride in educating my family on LGBTQ+ rights and the struggles my community faces. Coming out to my family was terrifying and overcoming that fear has made me feel such immense pride in myself. Being a part of this community has allowed me to truly express myself in all facets of my life. I recently deleted social media for my mental health.

Mental health has impacted every aspect of my life including my education and career choices. My first experiences with mental health began as a child. The environment I was raised in created who I am now. I am an empath by both nature and nurture. Out of necessity I learned how to read and feel the emotions of other people to survive. That trait has translated into all of the relationships in my life. I take on others pain and do it willingly and naturally. Growing up my mother called it a gift, but the older I got the more I realized how detrimental my “gift” is to my mental health. I suffer from severe anxiety, a mood disorder, and CPTSD. I am now older and learning how to handle my mental illnesses, how to set boundaries with people, and how to say no. For so many years I never understood how it was a gift when it came with such negative repercussions. However, in my healing journey I have realized that maybe my empathetic nature is a gift. I am entering into the social work and public health fields for my graduate education. I intend to work with vulnerable populations of women and children. I will be using my “gift” to help the people I am working with. Leaning how to use my trauma and struggle with mental illness in a positive way is something I have been working on and am excited to continue to work on in the future. I am focused on my healing journey which will be a lifelong struggle. Mental illness runs in my family and generations of trauma has followed me into my life. Having a parent with mental illness is such a difficult journey. I have always struggled with feeling resentment towards the person who put me through hell, while also acknowledging they are simply a product of the pain they endured in their life. I have tried not to be angry with my father for trying to leave me alone in this world so many times. Understanding he is in a world of pain that I couldn’t see as a child but feeling it was unfair to do to me. I believe many children go through similar situations. I hope to use the tools I learned in my healing journey to help others who are struggling through these tough situations. For many years I held on to so much resentment towards those who were a part in the creation of my empathetic, people pleasing, fear driven personality. While I still have those feelings I have accepted who I am, and made the decision to have something positive come out of the pain. I am very excited to see where my journey with mental health takes me in the future. Writing this has been an enlightening and a very impactful part of my healing journey. I appreciate the opportunity to share my story.