In life we never know what anyone is being faced with internally, especially if we are passing individuals on the streets, grocery stores or having brief interactions that are 30 secs. This is why you should never judge someone by their outside appearance due to not knowing what they face on the inside. this is were the phrase "don't judge a book by its cover", comes from. During the start of junior High/High School there was a upperclassman who was only a Sophomore and was an only child in a household that was recently divorced. On a typical morning we all started our day like we did everyday but something felt off in the halls of my high school. Once I had entered Biology class we were met with our teacher who regrettably informed our class that one of our peers had passed the day before. Silence seemed to be an understatement as no one had a single word to express about this tragedy. later that day i found out who it was an I instantly became consumed with sadness, because I knew this student and it never seemed to be evident that he was struggling on the inside. Every time anyone spoke with him or passed him in the halls he was laughing and smiling, even his girlfriend seemed to be in disbelief at the discovery of how mentally torn and depressed he had been and never expressed how much struggling he was doing. The Night before he unalived himself he had been in a group chat with some of his closets friends having general conversations but then out of nowhere this male student expressed that he would unalive himself by gun shot. In joking disbelief his friends played it off as though this student was just jokingly stating how he would harm himself not thinking that would be the last time they would speak with him. The next morning once he left his mother's house for school, that is what she believed he actually went to his fathers house since his dad was already at work and both his parents were faculty at our school therefore they believed that they would see him at school that day. once they were notified he had not shown up they each went home to see if he circled back around and was skipping for the day, but neither one of them were prepared for the discovery waiting for his father at his home. He had attempted to unalive himself in the chest and missed therefore he un-alived himself through the head. This was the first time i ever knew someone I went to school with or personally talked to that was no longer going to be around. This changed my perspective on anytime I knew or did not know seem off or need someone to talk with to prevent anyone feeling alone in this world. This was 23 years ago, which seems like forever but when I went through a mental breakdown after my first daughter I flashed back to the one and only time in life that someone I knew did not seek out help when he needed it and I was not about to be a statistic and or do that to my newly born daughter who depended on me and needed me to be here for her. I had severe post partum depression and anxiety from having my daughter which was pushed to the side, because I was working 2 jobs, going to school and raising a new born I did not have time to process life in general therefore I let everything build up and it became to much that I completely fell apart while at work. I was thankful and grateful that I was in the position I was in at my job because I was able to go and directly speak with my provider to seek treatment. This helps me be more empathetic and hyper aware of individuals I work with and my patients so I am able to pick up on how they are doing and make sure they are not in need of someone to speak with or listen to them to vent. I know this is not any situation that anyone wants to experience but I am grateful I had the support I had and the resources available to me I just want to let my patients know there are resources out there and we are a great place to start if they are not sure where to turn first.

As a child I faced many health challenges but nothing was comparable to when I was 8 years old and watch my mother's life drastically change forever. From as young as I can remember I watch my mother struggle with her health but she never stopped fighting an pushing forward to continuing living for my brother and myself. when I was 8, I watched my mom get diagnosed with at the time in the late 90's was considered a critical life threatening Neurological birth defect that required her to have to have emergency brain surgery. From what I can recall she was never told that she would have survived the surgery, her outlook was given that she would either come out in a coma, paralyzed or she would not have made it through the other side. She was never told that she would have a high percentage of waking up with no potential complications or life alternating health issues. She remarkably had a successful surgery and had none of the complications that were presented to her and my father at time of surgical pre-Op visit. I watched her learn how to walk, talk and feed herself as if she was doing these basic functions again for the first time ever in her life. As a young child who continued to look up to the strength of determination that my mom showed at just 26 years of age, who had a full life ahead of her and continue watching her face life changing diagnoses as I grew into a young adult. This changed my perspective and outlook on life from age 10 until now and made me want to contribute my life to healthcare in caring for the communities parents, daughters, sons, grandparents, aunts, uncles and even friends who are practically family, and help in anyway I could to see those individuals come out of life altering health complications and live to see another day, just like the surgeons, nurses and other healthcare professionals who brought my mom out on the other side to continuing living and able to be around till this day to being able to to be called grandma. I knew my whole life that I would without a doubt be apart of the healthcare field to contribute the care, compassion, knowledge, and desire I have to see the next mother, father, grandparent continue to have their loved one their for them and hopefully one day be there to see their grandchildren come into this world as my mother has been able to due to the skilled neurosurgeon and healthcare team my mother had almost 30 years ago.