I grew up in rural Missouri to a single mom who was in and out of the picture due to her life long struggle with drug addiction and my grandmother raised me on her own after my grandpa died. My Grammi has taught me everything, she is my inspiration, and my biggest cheerleader. When I told my Grammi I made into nursing school she was the most proud out of anyone in my family, I hope to continue to make her proud, she has given me everything and I hope that one day I can give her everything. When I took a job as a nursing assistant in an ICU I did not intend on staying long. I was seventeen and it was scary for me to see what intensive care truly looked like, but after my first three months when it came time for me to transfer departments I would not allow myself to leave. I had worked with patients who survived car accidents, house fires, drunk drivers, overdoses, and even shootings. Working in healthcare has taught me things about life that I would have never gained anywhere else. This job saved my life in ways I could not even begin to imagine and I am pursuing a degree to give back to the community who taught me how to be resilient. I had a patient that survived a car exploding on top of him, in the ICU once a patient is stable enough to be off a vent they are sent to a burn recovery unit. I would often think about the man wrapped in bandages who could not speak. Weeks later I was but on the burn recovery unit to help for a day and to my surprise he was walking, talking, and laughing. We truly can survive some of the most scary things as human beings. This man does not know how much he inspired me, he was the first patient that I witnessed make a full recovery, he gave me inspiration and more love for the healthcare field. My dream is to become an ICU nurse, travel the country, and then physician's assistant schooling. I hope to provide the most compassionate care to my patients for the rest of my life. I want to make a positive difference in every patient I may treat. I plan on using my career as a way to advocate for quality patient care, the represent the misrepresented, and to change the way many think about healthcare.

I sat in my first Narcotics Anonymous meeting at eight years old, I didn’t not understand what a narcotic was or what addiction truly meant, but I understood who an addict can be because I grew up loving and knowing them. I would drink my juice quietly as people shared their life experiences in active addiction, relapses, and their sobriety. I didn’t understand what the concept of addiction was until the day I watched my mom grab her glow in the dark one year chip when I watched her relapse just a week before. It would all come out in drug court and start our process over again. I was angry, I thought my mom was making a choice. A few years later I would watch my big sister go to rehab for her heroine addiction and after she hit thirty-six days clean, my family had to say the hardest goodbye when my mother and my sister's mother found her after she had overdosed on heroine. Brandi was in her pre-med, an all around athlete, and she wanted to be a neurosurgeon. She had been fighting addiction from the age of fourteen to nineteen, all it took was one time for her to be hooked for life. I would later grow up to lose two friends to fentanyl overdoses. I learned very young addiction doesn't care who you are. My mom experienced severe childhood trauma without any support, so she often turned to her drug addiction to cope. She started dealing at fourteen years old and did not stop until she was thirty four. When my mom was in active addiction she was someone I often did not recognize on the inside, but I still saw my mother for the generous, creative, kindhearted woman she is, she was just locked away for awhile. When she was going through her last round of rehab one of the people who held her up and gave her strength was a counselor named Gwen and I truly believe she changed my mom and I's life, she acted as a mentor and an example of how my mom could turn her life around. Growing up in such a sensitive system I have witnessed a lot of cruel and unkind things, but I have also seen how beautiful people's compassion and empathy can be and you would not believe how much of a mark that can make. I do not plan to go into social work or counseling I do plan to be an ICU nurse, working in an ICU we often see patients undergoing intense withdrawals. Withdrawals can be so ugly and violent and because of that I have seen addicts be misrepresented simply for the fact that they are a drug addict or alcoholic with some kind of underlying mental or chronic disorder. I plan to use my career as a form of advocacy and support for my patients. Addiction is a disease and it should be treated as such, people who are addicted to substances deserve to have some one in their corner in all fields of healthcare, I plan to be that person for all of my patients and their families. Although I am aware I cannot save everybody and that I myself cannot cure the disease of addiction, I have a deep passion for advocacy. I myself am not an addict, but I have witnessed just how lonely addiction can be, when you have nobody in your corner. I want to use my career to give addicts a sense of peace even when they are not asking for it.

I'm currently enrolled in Southern Baptist University for my Associates of Science and Nursing starting this Fall semester. I plan on working first hand with the people of my community who have undergone life altering injuries, extreme illness, and who are undergoing intense healing processes. I plan to be working in a trauma ICU where I currently am employed as a CNA. While I do enjoy the knowledge I gain in the high intensity situations and respect the seriousness of this area of healthcare, I never could have imagined how rewarding and how valuable the life lessons my patients would teach me when I started. It sounds cliche' "healthcare is rewarding! You're helping people!" Yes, I am helping these people, but these people are helping me too. I can recall many times patients that I would not have imagined remembering their stay have came back and thanked the team of people I work with for their hard work and dedication towards the patient's care. Although I want to be a nurse one day I want to go as far as I can into the healthcare field because I love seeing patients bounce back and re-obtain their quality of life. Working in with these people have taught me that there is so much hope, and human beings are truly so resilient. We truly should be giving ourselves more credit. While this essay is supposed to be about how I plan to give back to my community I want to talk about what my community has given to me first. I have worked along side many talented nurses who have given me life changing advice, love, support, and who taught me how to be my own person. This community of nurses has empowered me to follow my dreams even when they were just thoughts. I hope to give back to them by working along side and giving them the unconditional support they have given me in and outside of this field. I work with a team that I truly hope to make proud, a team that has taught me what it is to be a community. Healthcare has taught me that anything is possible, which can be a good or a bad thing. I hope to be a voice for others who are unsure about their healthcare. I plan to give back to my community by being an advocate for those who cannot/struggle to advocate for themselves, being a teacher for those who were not taught what it means to take care of themselves, and by just being undeniably present for my patients. Sometimes all someone truly needs is a hand to hold or an ear to listen to their thoughts no matter their mentation or condition. In a busy world I promise I will always be that person willing to slow down for my patients. While I may not be making an impact by the masses I know I will be creating a safe place where my patients are provided a sense of relief instead of fear.

When I envisioned my life as a five year old I imagined that I would grow up one day to be a ballerina, I was taught that I could achieve anything that I set my heart to so I truly believed I could be a ballerina. As I got older it became more than apparent that I am a clumsy, accident prone girl. (My name is "Miracle" not "Grace.") I was a very sick and injured child whether it was pneumonia, strep, car accidents, surgeries, a bike accident, or a sports injury. With all those inpatient experiences, I still never imagined I would want to be a nurse. When I was in high school I chose a health sciences program out of curiosity and I achieved my CNA certification. I started working in a nursing home at seventeen years old and I fell in love with taking care and growing bonds with my residents in the dementia care unit, I could not imagine myself doing anything else. I later went to work at a trauma ICU later in that year which was a life decision by the grace of god, the universe, or whatever type of higher power you may believe in, because I had no idea that as a minor I was applying to work in a Trauma ICU, I did not know what those two words together even meant. During my job interview I was scared when I saw my first intubated patient, my new manager gave me a tour of the unit and looked at me and said "Do you think you can handle it?" I wanted to so badly to say "I don't know", but I said "Yes I can handle this." I am not a person who lies, I was going to learn everything I could to be the best possible worker on that floor. I saw a completely different side to patient care and I gained a new respect for nurses and patients when I took that first job on. I learned a lot of life lessons very quickly at a young age, while my peers were racing down the highway with each other, attending parties, or even worse combining the two, I was working and truly seeing the consequences to those actions. I am not too proud to say that had I never taken a job in the healthcare field that I would have been along side my peers making similar reckless decisions. Although I am not a nurse, nursing as a career has saved my life. My life experiences have showed me how short and valuable life is and there is nothing I could ever want more in my life than to give back to the career path that has given me everything.