“A dancer dies twice,” Martha Graham once said. “Once when they stop dancing, and this first death is the more painful.”
I never fully understood that quote until the music began to fade for me.
I grew up dancing. At family gatherings, school events, and Vietnamese festivals, if there was music, I moved to it. Dance became my first language, a way to express joy, pride, and belonging. But after I lost hearing in my left ear, the rhythm I had always relied on began to slip away. I missed beats, struggled to stay in sync, and sometimes wondered if the music was even still playing. The world felt muffled and unbalanced.
Eventually, I stopped dancing. I had lost the sound, the rhythm, and the expression I felt through music. That was my first death.
For a while, I distanced myself from the thing I loved most. Without the sound, I felt disconnected not only from music but also from a part of myself. But during high school, watching my friends laugh and glide from the sidelines reminded me that dance was never only about sound. It was about feeling. The pulse of the bass through the floor. The brush of fabric as fans fluttered through the air. The shared breath of those dancing beside me. Even in silence, movement could still speak.
That realization brought me back not just to dancing but to something even deeper.
In 2021, during my freshman year, I co-founded Phoenix, a Vietnamese dance group created to celebrate our culture and uplift girls like me. What began as a way to reconnect with tradition became a mission to preserve it. Phoenix gave us a space to share our heritage, learn from one another, and keep our stories alive through music and movement.
We choreograph and perform traditional fan and hat dances, bringing Vietnamese cultural stories to life at events such as Viet Night, Saigon By Night, Yêu Lành, Lanterns of Legacy, and annual Tết celebrations. Each piece we perform is infused with history. Every gesture, every rhythm, honors where we come from. Through these performances, we do more than entertain; we preserve culture and pass it on to the next generation.
Phoenix became a community. A place where language barriers did not matter and where girls who had once stood in the background found their voice through movement. I took on choreography, planning, and mentoring roles, helping new members grow into confident performers. Watching them shine reminded me of how powerful music and dance can be, especially for those who do not always feel seen or heard.
Dance reconnected me to my identity, but it also taught me how to lead with empathy and purpose. I learned to create space for others, to honor my roots, and to express pride in who I am, even when I can’t always hear the rhythm myself.
Even now, when the rhythm slips away, I move to what I feel. And when I lead others, I do so knowing that stories do not always need perfect sound to be told. They need presence, meaning, and heart.
What I lost helped me rediscover what matters. And what began as silence has become something powerful: music and movement that preserve culture, celebrate identity, and carry us forward together.