How can one feel such selfish emotions at such a young age? When I was in seventh grade, at the young age of 11 years old, I discovered my brother who had passed away in our own house. This very event altered my life forever. The complicated emotions that were brought forth changed my perception of the world around me forever. I discovered what it was like to feel selfishly truly for the first time. I never understood how people could be mad or upset at the people you loved after they died, but I truly understand. I selfishly wanted to continue my life. I wanted to act like nothing happened. I wanted to keep moving through my education. As I grew, and as I continue to grow, I rediscovered my love for my brother that once lay dormant. As he died in his junior year of high school, I now continue his "legacy." My brother made me strive to continue fighting for my life and how I wanted to live it. As I surpass how old he was, I understand just how difficult it was for him. I now fight the thoughts of selfishness. He was just a kid who couldn't handle the mental weight that was life and depression. As I struggle like he did, I think of him and it keeps me going. He was such a smart kid. He had a deep love for animals and such a strong passion to always learn and discover new facts. I aspire to be as polite as he was. Every adult that knew him would just compliment him over and over again. I yearn daily to be as amazing as he was. I never felt such complex emotions as I did after he died. He taught me how to grieve, he taught me how to love, he taught me how to have petty arguments like no other. The teachings were all unintentional, but I'm sure he would be too petty to admit that he did anything to help me. He taught me how to appreciate the small things in life. One thing my brother loved more than anything was music. I remember the days when we would listen to his music while we played Legos together. One of the only things that kept me going through my worst moments was music. I imagine how he would react to my favorite songs, and to my everyday successes. Nothing has contributed more to my resilience than imagining how much he must've persevered. I want to graduate high school for him, graduate college for him, do everything for him. I wish to do everything he couldn't do; that includes listening to all the music he couldn't listen to. Music keeps me going. That includes wanting to continue with music all the way into my future careers. Nothing matters more to me than working towards my best education to make him proud, and myself happy in life since he was not. I want to live the life he couldn't. Every little thing that he didn't get to experience, I wish to experience for him; including my education.