Growing up, I was a perfectionist—still am to a degree—and I tried my very best in everything. I had to be the best on the court, on the field, in the classroom, on the stage, and if I wasn’t, then I thought that I didn’t belong there. In elementary school, there was an activity called monart. We’d travel to the library with our paper and sharpies to be instructed by the librarian/art teacher. She would have her own paper and sharpie as well. The sharpie was intentional because they didn’t want us to erase anything we may have messed up on. Instead, they wanted us to keep going and finish despite the mistakes we may have made. Our instructor would draw her example step by step, and we’d follow along with each step. We didn’t know what the masterpiece was until we finished, so we couldn’t draw ahead or fix a mistake. We simply had to trust that our art was going to turn out beautiful, even if it looks different from others or not the way we expected. Monart taught me that things don’t have to be perfect to belong or perfect to be deemed beautiful. Speaking of perfection, piano is another aspect that taught me about mistakes and improvisation. I took piano lessons until 6th grade, which also teaches you that mistakes are okay, and that sometimes, you have to improvise. Practicing piano used to be an enjoyable, but occasionally frustrating time, because I hated messing up or struggling to play the new piece correctly. Though I’ve long since stopped taking piano lessons, sitting down at the keys in an empty room to play whatever I want with no expectations is the best feeling in the world. And from those laborious yet exhilarating hours of practice, I learned that no matter the mistake, I have to keep going. In a recital, there is no starting over. The same goes for life! I can’t rewind time or undo something. If I make a mistake, I learn from it, try my best not to repeat it, and I keep going. The people who encouraged me and enabled me to learn then, are the same people who are inspiring and pushing me now. My parents were the ones who paid for my piano lessons. They’re the ones who signed me up in the first place and allowed me to grow in love and appreciation for the music form. And when I’d come home from school with my monart piece, they’d hang it on the fridge, send copies to family members, and compliment the work. Of course, some people would say these are just parents being parents. But they saw my love for art and continued to encourage me. They bought me an artist’s kit with pastels and colored pencils. Becoming an artist was my dream. And though neither of these arts are the forms I am ultimately studying today, my parents nonetheless support me and encourage me to continue pursuing my career in art, no matter how scary or intimidating it gets. Today, I am studying Creative Producing at Chapman University's Dodge College of Film and Media Arts. With no prior knowledge of filmmaking upon entering the major, everyone else seemed ahead of me and I was terrified of making mistakes. My parents are the ones who remind me of my capabilities, my purpose, and the truth that making mistakes are okay. If something doesn't turn out the way I plan, it may result in something unexpectedly beautiful.

I was once told that “there’s a difference only you can make.” That’s an empowering statement to give a little girl, but it’s true. Each girl was made uniquely by God. When we’re little, we believe that anything is possible. The sky's the limit! But as we grow older, we are affected by what people tell us, what they believe, and those words and preconceived thoughts begin to change us. Though we change over the years, we can still make a difference. We just need to stop worrying about what others say and think, and in a sense, we must revert back to our optimistic, childish selves. These past few years, I have learned what it looks like to accept myself for all of who I am and bring my fullest self to every space. It's when I finally accepted my full self and stopped caring about the thoughts of others that I truly stepped into my change-making potential. Once I stopped believing the lies I could see clearly and live an emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy life. I am embracing my God-given abilities and am growing into my identity. I am different, strong, and beautiful, and I have stories to tell and change to make. As I continue my journey in college, my goal is to cling to my values and truths and to enlighten those around me who may not know what I stand for. Majoring in Creative Producing has allowed me to express my values through film. As a biracial female going into the film industry, I will face obstacles but I will grow stronger. I will be a pioneer so that other young women of color can come into the industry years later, knowing that they belong. I want to break the glass ceiling and undergo whatever imminent trials so that future generations don’t have to. I desire to uplift the voices that often go ignored and I will share stories that have stayed silent for too long. Additionally, minoring in Peace and Justice Studies has helped to expand my worldview and has inspired me to engage in my community by continuing research and finding tangible ways to help. For example, a class I am currently taking required us to write a research paper for our midterm. My paper centered around the effectiveness of restorative practices in schools and how the students' experience differs from that of students who attend schools that don't implement RJP. Through this research, I learned that students benefit greatly when RJ practices are implemented, especially students of color. Additionally, I learned that some schools in my hometown are not implementing RJP, while others, such as the one where my father works, are having discussions with the district on how to implement such practices. This summer, I plan on going home and following my dad at his school to do more research and discuss next steps. Ultimately, my goal is to create positive change and bring justice. Whether it's through storytelling inspired by Peace Studies topics, stories from people's real life experiences, or fictional stories with underlying meaning, I desire change. We’ve seen it day after day, that justice has not been properly exuded to communities, especially the black and brown communities. My goal is to change that, and create a more righteous world! It doesn’t matter who we are or where we are from; diversity is a strength! Everyone’s stories matter and can make a difference. And every girl and woman matters and has a voice. We can be the change this world is looking for.

I’ve always considered myself a healthy person. Yet, when I took a nutrition class this past fall, I found there are some things in my life that need to change. One of the simplest and most important things I learned in the class was something called “MyPlate”. This is the model we should follow for every meal: a quarter of our plate is made up of grains, another quarter is made of protein, and the remaining half of our plate should be made of produce (vegetables, fruit, or both). To follow this template though, I had to know what foods fell into each category. Potatoes and corn are not vegetables. They are actually starches and fall into the grains category. Grains also consist of oats, rice, wheat, barley, and items made up of the like. It is recommended though, that we consume whole grains rather than refined ones because whole grains contain dietary fibers, vitamins, and minerals that our body needs daily. Additionally, nuts and seeds are not grains. In fact, they are considered proteins, alongside poultry, fish, eggs, beans, peas, and lentils. Fruits and vegetables, well, that’s pretty self-explanatory. These should be diversified and eaten whole, rather than consumed through juice. There are a couple of health-related issues that run in my family, such as diabetes, hypertension, and other metabolic risk factors. My father suffers from high blood pressure, which is partially work induced as well as diet-induced. He has also developed some new health complications and this paired with high blood pressure is not a phenomenal combination. But at the beginning of this summer, my family decided to make changes to the foods that we’d be purchasing and the foods that would be in our house. I have been able to share with them the important information I learned in the class and we have been able to keep each other accountable. Though it took some time, I started applying the MyPlate approach to my meals and it has now become a consistent and exciting habit. I have been working on consuming less refined grains, processed foods, and especially processed sugars. Since I am not partaking in rigorous exercise daily anymore, the foods I consume will not be used as energy the way they used to be. Instead, I may gain weight and develop the precursors to health-related diseases instead of preventing them. During the fall, our class participated in a dietary analysis project. Here, we tracked the foods we consumed, what they consisted of, their calorie count, and how much water we drank, and recorded our exercise, if any. At the end of the three days, we spoke individually with our teacher, who’s a nutritionist, about our results. I had a long conversation with her after class and soon realized that I need to change my diet. I was exceeding the recommended dietary sugar intake; if I continued, I could develop diabetes later in life. Today, I eat each meal with the MyPlate model in mind. I no longer eat until I am full, but instead, I eat until I am satiated. I have been consuming more whole foods and less sugar. I have also been getting back into the habit of exercising daily, doing something to elevate my heart rate for a period of time. Sometimes I go on long walks, hike, ride the bike, or go for a run. It has been a slow and gradual change, but I am proud of how far I’ve come. I am thankful for where I'm at and am excited to see where this health journey takes me.

One of the biggest challenges I have faced in my lifetime, besides fighting to survive as a premature newborn, is transitioning to college. If anyone knows me, they know that I am not great with change. Whether it is a good change or bad change, I too often get comfortable with the flow of things and am not fond when life decides to interrupt. Leaving home, family, friends, and everything familiar was terrifying for me. When I got to college, I underwent multiple changes, mostly due to fear. I went from extrovert to introvert. I stayed in my dorm as often as I could and spoke with as few people as possible. I went from joyful and smiling, to anxious and frowning. As a biracial female (who will only ever be seen as black) attending a predominately white institute, I began to develop insecurities as I was surrounded by a homogenous community that made me feel like I was constantly being watched and judged. I began to doubt my abilities and started questioning whether or not I was truly qualified to study movies and become a producer. Because of this isolation and anxiety, I could only cling to God. I grew closer to Him during this time of transition. Despite my world-changing, God remained constant. Even though I was negatively affected by this transition, I also experienced positive spiritual growth. That wasn’t the only growth that occurred, though. Things slowly started to change. In mid-October, I began to branch out and find community. InterVarsity, a Christian club I joined and am now a part of, was where I found this community. Out of all the people on campus, this is where I felt the most safe and welcome. I found the surprisingly diverse place where I belonged. Of course, friendship development was a challenge, as most relationships start at a surface level. It wasn’t until the end of the semester that I began to develop deeper friendships with members of the club. Fast forward to the second semester, and you’ll see a girl with close friends and fulfilling experiences. That girl and the one from the first semester couldn’t possibly be the same! Yet, they are. That is the beautiful power of transformation. As I began to take baby steps and try new things, I was getting stronger. I was extending past my comfort zone, learning to surrender and trust that the Lord has something good for my life. I have now emerged from that cocoon of darkness and have found purpose. I find excitement in new things, even though they may seem frightening at first. I am embracing life as an adventure. For example, I became the worship leader for Worship and Prayer Nights for InterVarsity. Furthermore, I have been selected, from a pool of applicants, to be an Orientation Leader for the Fall of 2023 for the incoming freshman. Additionally, through the help and prayers of my new friends, I have rejected the lies, and am reclaiming my identity. Once I stopped believing the lies, I could see clearly and live an emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy life. I embraced my God-given abilities and grew into my identity. Who would’ve thought that a terrified, insecure freshman, would become confident again and embrace the unknown with open arms? All it took was faith.