“Just stop thinking so much.”
That phrase has continued to tear me down from when I was just a child. At multiple points in my life, I’ve thought that I was the problem for struggling and feeling the way I did. As my mind ate away the color on my face and the marks on my arms grew darker, my brain attempted to hold up a dam for the thoughts that kept flooding in. A deep void in my heart began digging toward the dimmest parts of my soul.
Am I crazy for feeling this way? There are so many people fighting for their lives, do I have the right to feel so down? Are my feelings valid? Is it okay to keep hurting like this?
After some time, I realized that it was okay. It is okay to feel and it’s even better to heal. Despite the lack of support at times, I began to see how I never needed to tell others of my battles for validation. Social media distorted mental health issues as insanity and created this narrative to downplay difficulties in our everyday lives. Trying to find someone I could relate to or share my experiences with was tiring and endless. No one around me seemed to understand why my brain was wired like it was. Their only advice would be along the lines of, “Don’t worry too much,” or “Think more happy thoughts.” The worst sayings spoken to me were, “Everything is going great for you, don’t think like that,” and “You have so much good in your life, some aren’t as well-off as you.” It seemed as if I was invalid and weary out of selfishness until I found someone that would listen to me.
I began attending my local church frequently. It was a small change, but my soul felt cleansed. My conversations with God were transparent and real. Some nights felt heavier than others, but my eyes would slowly shut into a deep slumber. My tear-stained pillowcases were not a new occurrence, but instead of painful sobs, they were filled with relief. My belief in God strengthened and it wasn’t until every lockdown that I truly deepened my relationship with Him. Through my spiritual journey, I’ve learned to give love, patience, and kindness to all in an even stronger sense. In that, I share my testimony as a way to show hope and how God’s love is stronger than any battle. This does not mean that my mental health issues have completely disappeared. I continue to break down at the tip of my cup, but my true goal is to normalize mental health issues in the church and see them as a common struggle instead of something so outlandish. I pray that we do not shy away from speaking out on our struggles and fears.
My friends were the first ones to notice the change in my demeanor. They were also the ones that told others about my crippling mental health. This change created both rifts and stable bridges among my relationships with many. There is a boundary that I never cross with those dear to me in an attempt to save them from “crazy town”. My strongest relationships, though, are built on connection. My mental health issues prove no hindrance in most whilst others brush off my problems as if they were always invalid. It truly saddens me to see how having these burdens seem overwhelming to those that wanted to be close to me before learning my roots. I have also learned how many of those around me struggle with anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. I have come to truly appreciate my newly found support system. Knowing that some may not have that necessity pains me greatly. In that, I have begun reaching out as a way of comforting everyone that I can keep in touch with. I continue to look for a way to cross safely over the walls I’ve built. In that, my learning experiences are still far from being finished.
For the longest time, the medical field felt like my home. After experiencing the struggles that mental health brought, my passion has only ever gotten stronger. Learning how the brain works and exploring new ways to treat every patient with care is my utmost priority. Bringing more awareness toward mental health and transforming our healthcare system to cater to each patient instead of throwing addictive prescriptions is something I strive to do. Our suffering should have never been seen as an economic benefit in our healthcare systems. These structures have even caused fear toward hospitals and seeking help. What’s worse are the mental health facilities that neglect patients whilst showcasing this caring environment instead. With methods of isolation and newfound attempts to hide struggling patients, our healthcare system has failed to cater to our basic needs as we suffer. My hope is in new practices and a wider spectrum in care. Let our healthcare systems learn our deepest struggles and how to treat them effectively. With suicide rates only ever-rising, our fights against those mental health issues should not end here.
Having outlets like writing and music created a safe place for me. My hobbies and interests have been transformed after experiencing my deepest lows. Their importance in my life soared because of my need to express myself. My truest hope is to let others show themselves without being afraid of judgment and others washing down their darkest times. Advocating for mental health and letting others know how valid they are is what I truly desire to do. Each of us has a plan written by a wonderful God and carrying that out is where true beauty is. Our brokenness and fragile state are what He transforms in His careful hands. With mental health being looked at more recently, I hope that our voices are heard with care and attentive ears. Let each voice be heard, even if some of us are not here physically.