“Micayla you are a smart girl you can get all A’s” or “You got a C on your test? What happened to that A?” My parents have always poked at the fact that I NEEDED to be a straight A student so I can get scholarships, or to get a full ride to my dream college. I always knew that they meant well and only want to best for me like how I want the best for myself as well. Having a 2.8 GPA isn’t “great” in most people’s eyes, But I believe I am a very hard worker. My favorite subjects are Science, English and History. Becoming a Nurse Practitioner has been my dream since 7th grade. I have been in Spanish for 2 years, but it still feels like a foreign language to me. I am only good at English because my mom is an English teacher, but spelling the most basic words is like a riddle that takes an overly long time to answer. Math on the other hand, is a toxic relationship I don’t even want to get into. One thing that these classes have in common, is that I still managed to pass them. Failure is not part of my dictionary that are full of the most easiest words my brain makes it hard to spell; Success is. This week in English, I wrote an essay on the word success. In my words “Success is a feeling, becoming self-aware of an accomplishment, goal or desire someone has finally achieved. Although, others like to believe if someone was truly ‘successful’ or not, It should not be their choice; it is the successors.” GPA’s do not choose if I will be successful or not. It also does not tell others if I am a bad student. I get to choose if I am a “bad” student or not. Yes, my GPA may say other wise, but I have passed all my classes, I have never been in summer school, I have never been suspended or expelled and I am such a people person. My mom told me that she has never done good in high school. During college she decided to turn it around. She did end up becoming a straight A student and surprisingly never had any debts. She pushes me to be the best so I wouldn’t have to work as hard as she did. But part of success is defeat. Yes, failure and defeat are different words with different meanings. If I were to give other students advice who are in a similar situation with applying to collages with lower GPA’s, I would say, only you know who you are as a person. It is your decision to show who you are no matter the circumstances. We can be as good as the people with 4.5 GPA’s. Though, it might take a little longer, and more studying, but you can do what you put your mind to. A little push is all you need. Surround yourself with the people who can help you most. This next chapter in my life is going to be huge. But i definitely will live it to the fullest. College will bring me to the right path to setting more goals I know I will succeed. One thing I know about every living person, is that everyone is always leading something new every day. This is only just the beginning.

My name is Micayla Arnold, I am 17 years old and have been struggling with mental health ever since I can remember. I was adopted at birth, and grew up with a loving, Catholic family. Everyone has a fear of death. But since I was 5 years old, the thought of eternity in the afterlife scared me. A 5 year old shouldn’t even be able to think those thoughts at that age. From then to now, I have had severe panic attacks. I can not go to church, funerals, or watch sad movies. I have learned to always constantly keep my mind busy, to not think of what could happen next. In the 3rd grade, my parents had gotten a divorce. I moved away with my mom and had to transfer to a new school. I already had major anxiety at this point, so it was very difficult to meet new people. All the way up until 7th grade, I have been bullied and never had a friend to play with outside of school. When COVID-19 became a thing, I was now in 8th grade and my mom and I fought like no other. It was normal right? For people who are stuck in a house for so long together. People say that you grow sick of the person. But there is quite literally no escape. To top off the thrilling adventures in COVID-19, my biggest role model, my grandmother, had passed away. I remember my math teacher made me stay after on zoom to talk about how I have been behind on my work. Losing someone takes a huge toll on a person. When high school came around, I felt that I needed to make as many friends as possible, because of the fear of having no one. My mother was also my greatest enemy. I believe that there wasn’t even one day where we didn’t fight. If anyone asked my friends how to describe Micayla Arnold. They would probably say. “‘She’s a kind soul and she never fails to light up the room’ or, ‘There is never NOT a smile on her face’”. One day in sophomore year of high school, I woke up and begged my mother for help. I told her I needed to see someone. I needed a therapist; she agreed. I had the most amazing therapist I could ever ask for. I felt that I could talk to her about anything. I also had a psychiatrist. I felt that I needed to be properly diagnosed with something to feel relief in a way, so I can put a name to what I felt. What my psychiatrist’s told me, was the opposite. “Micayla, I do not think you have depression, you smile at me and you laugh. But I do want to diagnose you with DMDD (Disruptive Mood Disregulation Disorder). That did not sound right at all. I laugh when I get nervous. I finally got diagnosed with something, but my therapist, my mother and even I, did not agree with it at all. I felt very defeated in a way. When I quit seeing my psychiatrist, I felt better. Being wrongly diagnosed doesn’t feel good. All I wanted was to be able to put a label on how I felt. Now, I am in family therapy, and still working on myself to improve myself.

The Sara Jane Memorial Scholarship would be an amazing gift for my career goals to become a nurse practitioner. One of my first experiences with my goal came in 7th grade when I visited the local community college, and experienced nursing classes first hand, that is when I realized, this is what I would want to pursue. It was so interesting to learn how to take a patient's blood pressure using the cuff. As well as, learning proper handwashing and I imparted that new found wisdom on my family and friends. Lastly, the important and correct way to remove my gloves as a result on this class. In 2020, my biggest role model; my grandmother, fell ill. There were countless trips to the hospital. Everytime, I felt so confident advocating for her needs and always made sure she was safe and comfortable. I was always there to lift her spirits. When hospice was the only option left, during this time, I visited her more times than anyone. I wanted to help as much as I could. Seeing my grandmother experience hospice care until the end of her life showed me the importance of being there for my patients and I want to be there and help every patient get back to health. Throughout this experience I learned an important strength that I have within me and leads to my next goal which is to help patients feel that they can trust in me to make them the most comfortable for as long as possible and even to the point where those people are healed. The main goal for my future nursing career is to graduate with an emphasis in family practice to become a nurse practitioner. I feel that I can help all ages and to provide care that is most aligned to any patiences' needs. During my junior year of high school, I was blessed with the privilege to enroll in a medical assisting class at the tech campus at my local community college. I felt very determined to pass the class with high grades. This class gave me experiences that taught me how to speak with patients in a caring and professional manner, also how to take their phone call. Most important was learning how to provide written documentation regarding patient care. Pre EMT was another class I had taken the second semester of my junior year in high school as well. I feel that these classes have helped me explore any other possible options in the nursing feild I would want to pursue. During my time in the Pre EMT class, I passed my CPR training and I am now currently CPR certifed. Other experiences I have in nursing or will be having in the near future, is when I got to shadow the physical therapist who developed a friendly relationship with my mom because she was his client. This therapist runs a local Athletico physical therapy clinic. In addition, I will be shadowing my current nurse practitioner who mentors nursing students at my pediatrician's office. As a recipient of the Sara Jane Memorial Scholarship, I aspire to be like Sara Jane and make sure my patients feel like they are heard and comfortable, just how Sara Jane was with her patients.