My mother, Amy Spezialetti, was an incredible woman who provided me with so much while she was around. Not only was she my mother, but she was my best friend, whom I loved so much. It has been about 9 months since she passed, and it has affected me in many ways.  After witnessing my mother in the hospital getting worse till she wasn't living anymore, it changed me personally. She was someone I always went to when I needed help or support, and the idea of her being gone saddened me. The first couple weeks after her passing, I kind of laid back on my social life. I did not want to really interact with people as much, and I just wanted to be alone to express my thoughts. It was a struggle for me to understand everything that I was feeling and to understand that it was going to be hard. I had to take a couple weeks to fully adapt to the situation and know that all my feelings are  valid.  Taking time for me to understand feelings meant taking some time off school. I always hate missing school because I have a big fear that I will fall behind. I had to put myself first and take the time to adapt, so I missed a few days during this hard time period. Fortunately, my teachers were very understanding in this situation and helped me out with my grades by allowing me some extra time on assignments and giving me more support. Without their kindness, I would not have been able to keep up my high grades and GPA.  After my mom's passing, money started to become a bit of an issue for my family and me. With the whole situation of losing a loved one, money became more and more wise for my family to spend. My family was down to only my dad's income, and we were not getting the health benefits from my mom's healthcare that we were before. I had to make sure when I needed something it was an absolute need instead of a want because of how strict my family had to be about spending money. I have to try my best to provide myself with the money I raised from work so that my dad can use the money he makes to pay bills and provide my siblings and me with basic needs for living.  With all of that being said, there has been a lot that has impacted me and my life because of my mother's passing. There will not be a day where I remember how great of a mom my mother was and how I will keep striving for her.

My mother, Amy Spezialetti, was an incredible woman who provided me with so much while she was around. Not only was she my mother, but she was my best friend, whom I loved so much. It has been about 9 months since she passed, and it has affected me in many ways.  After witnessing my mother in the hospital getting worse till she wasn't living anymore, it changed me personally. She was someone I always went to when I needed help or support, and the idea of her being gone saddened me. The first couple weeks after her passing, I kind of laid back on my social life. I did not want to really interact with people as much, and I just wanted to be alone to express my thoughts. It was a struggle for me to understand everything that I was feeling and to understand that it was going to be hard. I had to take a couple weeks to fully adapt to the situation and know that all my feelings are  valid.  Taking time for me to understand feelings meant taking some time off school. I always hate missing school because I have a big fear that I will fall behind. I had to put myself first and take the time to adapt, so I missed a few days during this hard time period. Fortunately, my teachers were very understanding in this situation and helped me out with my grades by allowing me some extra time on assignments and giving me more support. Without their kindness, I would not have been able to keep up my high grades and GPA.  After my mom's passing, money started to become a bit of an issue for my family and me. With the whole situation of losing a loved one, money became more and more wise for my family to spend. My family was down to only my dad's income, and we were not getting the health benefits from my mom's healthcare that we were before. I had to make sure when I needed something it was an absolute need instead of a want because of how strict my family had to be about spending money. I have to try my best to provide myself with the money I raised from work so that my dad can use the money he makes to pay bills and provide my siblings and me with basic needs for living.  With all of that being said, there has been a lot that has impacted me and my life because of my mother's passing. There will not be a day where I remember who great of a mom my mother was and how I will keep striving for her.

My mother was one of the strongest women I knew. She always put me and my siblings My mother was one of the strongest women I knew. She always put me and my siblings before her and made sure we were taken care of. In May of 2021 she got diagnosed with stage 4 Colon Cancer. The news was very hard to adjust to for my family and I, but I believed that everything happens for a reason and it could all work out in the end. As years passed, my mom was fighting like a true warrior. Every single appointment no matter how bad it was, she came home and put on a brave face.  Unfortunately, come November of 2023 she was in the hospital for a brain tumor. I knew this could affect her after the procedure, but I was confident that she would be okay because she has always been so strong. However, things eventually got worse. She ended up passing away at the beginning of the new year. The first few months after my mother's passing was the hardest. I have had my mother always next to me to support me, and care for me. She was my best friend who I could always come to, and I had to adapt to her not being around. Everyday was a challenge that first week because I had so many people reminding me and asking me "how are you doing?" and "are you okay?", but I could understand what I was feeling because how could I be okay? Sometimes even now, things remind me of her in ways that make me miss my mom.  Although I did have a lot of support in this time of grief from people I could turn to just listening to me and say nothing else. My school counselor and my best friend were the 2 people they would not ask me questions about, and just listen to me when I just wanted to say how I am without them trying to find a solution.  It made me feel better by just letting what I want out of my system, and knowing that they heard me. There are both still here for me now, but especially the first couple months when life was rough.  My future plans are to be a school counselor, so I help students grief from any pains they might be going through by listening to them. I want them to know that they will always have someone, and they are never alone in a time that could be tragic for them. My mom would want me to live out whatever made me feel happy, and if I can provide someone with the idea that they are not alone, that will make me happy.

My mother was one of the strongest women I knew. She always put me and my siblings My mother was one of the strongest women I knew. She always put me and my siblings before her and made sure we were taken care of. In May of 2021 she got diagnosed with stage 4 Colon Cancer. The news was very hard to adjust to for my family and I, but I believed that everything happens for a reason and it could all work out in the end. As years passed, my mom was fighting like a true warrior. Every single appointment no matter how bad it was, she came home and put on a brave face.  Unfortunately, come November of 2023 she was in the hospital for a brain tumor. I knew this could affect her after the procedure, but I was confident that she would be okay because she has always been so strong. However, things eventually got worse. She ended up passing away at the beginning of the new year. The first few months after my mother's passing was the hardest. I have had my mother always next to me to support me, and care for me. She was my best friend who I could always come to, and I had to adapt to her not being around. Everyday was a challenge that first week because I had so many people reminding me and asking me "how are you doing?" and "are you okay?", but I could not understand what I was feeling because how could I be okay? Sometimes even now, things remind me of her in ways that make me miss my mom.  Although I did have a lot of support in this time of grief from people I could turn to just listening to me and say nothing else. My school counselor and my best friend were the 2 people they would not ask me questions about, and just listen to me when I just wanted to say how I am without them trying to find a solution.  It made me feel better by just letting what I want out of my system, and knowing that they heard me. There are both still here for me now, but especially the first couple months when life was rough.  My future plans are to be a school counselor, so I help students grief from any pains they might be going through by listening to them. I want them to know that they will always have someone, and they are never alone in a time that could be tragic for them. My mom would want me to live out whatever made me feel happy, and if I can provide someone with the idea that they are not alone, that will make me happy.

Mental health plays a crucial role in both an individual's academic performance and personal life. Especially for high school students, it contributes a lot to school attendance.  Colleges and teachers make it seem like outstanding grades are the most important thing in your high school life. I have been stressing out the past 4 years trying to keep up with my academic performance to be able to have success for my future. Last school year I was going through a loss in the family, and I put my grades first over my mental health because I felt like I had to keep up with high grades. My fear was that if I let how I was feeling emotionally take control of my life, my grades would lower and I would not be able to get into a college. It got to a point where I realized how I needed to stop focusing on just numbers on a report card and also focus on myself and how I was doing mentally. I had to take a couple days off school, focus on my feelings, and allow myself to feel okay. Even though school is a priority, it is just as important to keep myself in line and make sure I am not draining myself with only a focus on education. Eventually I found the perfect balance between mental health and my academic performance.  Now I make it my absolute goal to never put my mental health last on my priorities. I try to wake up every day with a goal for the day to keep myself feeling good mentally. Whenever I get a day where I don't have a lot of school work or after school activities, I will have some "me time" and just do small things to make myself feel good about how I am. It is important to allow and express emotions, and once you express them, you can focus on academics. What I learned is that it never has to be only grades; you can let feelings happen because those feelings shape who you are to become the person with the academics. Mental health is very important for one's academic performance and personal life. I have put my mental health last on my list of priorities and have seen the struggle it was for me. I want others to know how important mental health is over numbers on a report card, which is why I want to pressure counseling as a profession.

Billie Eilish can write songs that are aggressive and powerful to sad and elegant. She puts meaning into all of her songs that people can connect to. My top three Billie Eilish songs that I resonate with so deeply are "Lovely,"  "Getting Older,"  and "My Future.".  "Lovely" is one of those songs where it shows deep sadness to it. The main reason I selected this song as one of my top three Billie songs is because my baton twirling team won our first national title with it. In 2022, my twirl team came back together after not being able to compete because of COVID. My baton coach wanted us to connect to a song that had a downhearted meaning to it. My twirl could express "sadness" easily, but picking a song like "lovely" involves a much deeper emotion. Every competition I used the lyric "Isn't it lovely? All alone" to connect to the song by thinking about if I did not have my team there. What I would do without them: as teammates and as my friends. That powerful lyric helped me put my part into that routine. When I think about the stress and anxiety of high school, "Getting Older" is the song that describes all of it. "I wish someone had told me I'd be doing this by myself" is a lyric that I can connect with because high school makes me believe that I am doing everything by myself. The grades I get, the friendships I make, the skills I learn, the challenges I face—I am doing all of those things by myself. To add to that, Billie then says, "I'm getting older; I've got more on my shoulders,"  which shows how in life, the more and more you grow up, the more you have to add to your life. I have to figure out my next 4 or so years of my life by the end of the school year, which shows the "more on my shoulders" part. Nothing can top the school "my future" on my top 3 Billie songs. "My future" is all about questioning why you can't be good enough. "Know I'm supposed to be unhappy without someone. But aren't I someone?" is by far the most powerful lyric in the song. In today's world, everyone thinks that dating and being in a relationship make someone happy. Billie says, "But aren't I someone?" to state that why can't she just be happy with being single and having her own time? I find that lyric powerful because it shows that people do not have to have a special someone just for them to be happy. Anyone can be happy on their own or with someone. Billie Eilish puts meaning into all of her songs that people can connect to. "Lovely,"  "Getting Older,"  and "My Future" are my top 3 songs that I resonate with so deeply. Billie continues to write songs with which I fall more and more in love each day.

My mother, Amy Spezialetti, was a true warrior. In early may of 2021, my mom got diagnose with stage 4 colon cancer. The idea of my mother going through chemo and radiation was a very scary thought for my family, but we knew my mom was a strong woman. Her bravery is one of the things that I loved most about my mom. My mom would have weekly check ins with multiple doctors, to see how she was coming. The idea of any kid thinking about one of their parents going through lots of treatments is scary and nerve-wracking ,but my mother put on a brave face for me and my siblings. One time I can remember was a time my mom and I were spending the day together. We were out for coffee, just spending some time together and all the sudden her chemo bag began to go off and beep. I knew that was not something that was normal, and my mom realized that too. My mother was very calm, and she told me that we have to go to the doctors just to make sure everything was good. Even though I was very nervous of what the beeping meant, my mother did very great job of just remaining calm and talking to me the whole ride there. Even at the doctors, my mom was brave and did not show me a hint of her being scared. She introduced me to all of her doctors and told me that it would not take too long. Everything at that doctor run in turned out to be okay, and we went on our way home. That day showed me how brave my mother was, and that she made sure that my siblings and I are okay before she puts her true emotions first. Losing her to cancer has affected me in my everyday life. Her loss made me realize that you should not take things for granted. You never know when the end can be, so make the most of the memories you make with people. I am so fortunate to have spent some quality time with my mother before I could not anymore. My mom has taught me what being brave is, and has taught me so many more lessons of life. I may struggle every now and then to understand why cancer is a thing, and why does it take the ones you love away from you; but I know that I got to spend 17 years of my life with one my best friends and I will be forever grateful that I got that time with her.

"But I fear that they already got all the best parts of me" is a song lyric from one of Olivia Rodrigo's teenage dream that resonates to my own life. Throughout the past 4 years of high school I have put in my absolute best effort with everything; grades, activities, social life etc. But one of my biggest fears is what if this is it. Everyone has seen me just go and go in academic achievements, baton twirling, social life, and many more, but what if I cannot continue to grow and achieve more than I have. All the achievements that I have made have been some of the "best parts of me" that I adore, but it's hard to think about the fear of all getting forgotten and nothing new to achieve. Olivia's wording for this lyric makes me really understand that the stakes and standards are so high for teenagers that it can make life a bit overwhelming. When I think of a standard that has high exceptions I think of school and grades. I have done a pretty good job with keeping up with my grades, but what if that is all that is left of me. What if I cannot do any better than I have with school. My siblings have gone off to college and have gotten more and more achievements from college, but what if I cannot live up to that standard. With my baton twirling, I have gone on to be a feature twirler for the second year in a row for my high school band. With being the face that everyone looks at also comes with a reputation to uphold. I am in a mindset that I need to one up myself and do more and more than I have done the last season, but there is always the what if I do not do better than I did before. Each year people come up to me and tell me that I am doing great, so there is always pleasure that I put on myself to do more. Having a social life is one of the most important things about being a teenager. Everyone has their own clicks and connections with people and are in many friends groups. In the past I have done well with making friends, but once high school hit it got a lot harder. People get more opinionated and selective about who they talk to. I often get anxious about not being able to make many more connections with people. There is a fear that I have to keep up with everyone I talk to or else they could stop talking to me. I always try to be there for others to be kind to them, and to keep my social standards up. Being a teenager comes with a lot of fear and anxiety about all the "what ifs". Olivia wrote "all the best parts " that people have seen with the fear that there is no more to come. I fear that keeping up with academic achievements, baton twirling, social life, and many more has affected me today.

My mother, Amy Spezialetti was one of my best friends. Losing her at the beginning of this year was one of the hardest things for me. My mother always put me and my siblings at her top priority, and made sure that we got to our activities, events, and many more things when we needed to be. I was only a junior in high school when I watched her health get worse and worse to the point where she passed away. Her loss, made it very hard on me to believe. I just could not believe that after years of her battling with cancer, she lost the battle. My mom was a very strong woman and always put on a brave face for our family. Out of my father and siblings, I was the rock that everyone could come to. I made sure during the first couple months of her being gone to check in with everyone and make sure my family was doing okay. Even though I was putting on a brave face for my family, I still had rough moments myself. There were nights were all I could was cry because how could I actually take in the fact that after 17 years of my life, the person who gave my life and taught everything I know today was gone. My best friend who I have known my whole life made it her mission to take care of me while I tried my best to take care of my family. I began to lose myself a little bit, and things became really hard for me to stay up with. My best friend guided me through and always let me know that I was being so strong, and that I will be okay. She made sure I knew that my mom would be so proud of me, and that I was doing a great job. I owe my best friend so much for everything she has done for me because it is almost like she lost a second mother. During the first couple months adjusting to this tragedy, the parents of all the dance team girls that I danced with began to help. They gave us food, money, and gave me to rides to all my practices. One thing in common with my mom and I is that we both did dance. My dance family has a special place for my mom in their hearts, and have also been with her for a journey with battling cancer till the end of it. Dance has made me the person I am today. Dance has given me dozens of opportunities to perform and express myself. It has even allowed me to show emotions with things I feel and put it into a routine. Dance has allowed me to know that even on my rough days, I am strong and I can get through it. My mom would be proud to know that I continue to keep going on and do the something I love which is performing.

I am a huge fan of Sabrina Carpenter because she is someone who is very inspirational to me. Sabrina never allows anyone to control her or give up on yourself which is something I find so touching. Some of her music can relate to me in my life because I have had boy struggles myself. Sabrina's main attitude with those types of songs implies that she will find someone else who values her for herself. Sabrina is someone who shows her own power and expresses her how she wants too. In her song "Nonsense" she goes on to sing random thoughts and ideas that come to her head without putting anyone's opinions first. Her career has impacted me to not be afraid to express how I am and be open to letting out my feelings. In addition to that, her musicality flows in a way I adore that her music has brought me so many friendships. All of Sabrina's concerts are something I dreamed to attend to watch her perform and express each song she has written. Without her career being something I admire I would not be the same person as I am today. Sabrina Carpenter is a woman who is incredibly talented in the music industry and very much earns everything she works for. I could not be more honored to be one of her fans.