Jesus has always been a part of my life, from the moment I was born to every waking morning I have now. I grew up in the church, learning about God's love and all the things He does for us. It wasn't until recently that I realized God has always loved me. I've been through many trials and tribulations that have hurt me and my family very drastically. When I was a child, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer into which she overcame until years later when she was diagnosed with it again, this time ten times worse. By the grace of God she survived and is now 100% cancer-free. My father was diagnosed with type one diabetes, and given his prior health he was also told he wouldn’t make it through, yet he too survived. My older sister ended up being a single mother, retired alcoholic, and retired gambler who never went to college. My oldest brother dropped out of college due to drugs, enlisted into the army, and was discharged due to what he was doing, he then got deeper into his business and was incarcerated several times as his consequence. My next two brothers also struggled with drugs and got into trouble with our parents, causing our mother to stress even more and become ill. The older one struggled with addictions whereas the younger one was more of a wild child. Given all these events, I lost hope for a long time, I was lost and ran away from Jesus because I was terrified to show Him my scars. I was too scared that I wasn't good enough for Him like how people would tell me. I fell off the deep end and had no place to go and no one to run to, the church felt like an empty building and the people were just flesh and beings. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but was forced to act as if everything was okay. I felt as though my whole life meant nothing. In 2019, six years after what felt like the beginning of my life falling apart, I had an encounter with God but pushed it away. Instead, I started focusing on reading the Bible more, doing my devotionals, and actually learning about God. Then 2020 came and shook my world, but even through that, He was there for me. He guided me to my new church, to my new spiritual family, to my new-new life. He renewed me and filled me with so much hope and peace, all of which I thought was lost forever. I had another encounter with God and this time I listened and embraced it. He repeatedly told me, "I'm here for you. You are Mine. I am yours. You are not alone. You are forgiven." Even during those very traumatizing and heart-wrenching years, even when I felt alone, and that there was no hope and no point in life, there was Jesus. It's sad that it took so long for me to finally understand that He was always there and He never left my side, but I'm so glad I made it. I'm still learning how to trust Him more and more every day thanks to my amazing leaders and mentors, and also just through Him. Jesus took me out of a place of loneliness. Jesus walked through the valley with me. Jesus saved my parents. Jesus saved my siblings and is still in the process of saving the others. Jesus healed me, both physically and emotionally. Jesus took me out of temptation and horrible things. Jesus changed my life.