From the scholarship mini-bio, I can relate to Terry Crew's experience: I juggle art with music but also acknowledge I might do something completely different later on. If education wasn't so expensive, heck, I'd get a degree in everything! But in the grand scheme of things, I'm an artist with an inquisitive soul that thrives in creating things, especially when I get to use my hands. This is why I plan to study studio arts in college. As of now my major would be printmaking because I love the manual labor, process, and versatility that goes into it, but I'm also thrilled to try out other art forms such as ceramics and jewelry. Unfortunately, money is an issue; I knew I had to to push myself academically for scholarship opportunities; but financials aren't the only thing in my mind. I've had the great opportunity of growing up a border kid, so a fusion of Mexican and American influences have shaped my life. I also am fortunate to be in the local music scene, so playing instruments (especially clarinet) has been a crucial part of growing up and therefore a difficult compromise with art. This is what my submitted images are about; two depictions of the complicated and often painful relationship I have with being a musician, from feeling so lost in an endless sea of competition to feeling like I put my soul into performances but never live up to my expectations. But the positive sides are apparent: community and another form of artistry and expression. I may not be choosing a musical career, but I am a musician at heart. That complexity is one of the many things I hope to illustrate and make art about in the future, and something I can more readily pursue with this scholarship.

What is life without simple pleasures? Seeing my family and friends enjoy my cooking, the smile brought by a good clarinet reed; a sleepy "good morning", and dawn creeping through my blinds and making warm sunspots on my bed the my dog likes to nap on; finishing an assignment; gifts of sentimental bric-a-brac sent for a very belated birthday; finding the song that fits my mood. I'm terribly stingy but sometimes I'll buy myself a drink; I love going on shopping trips by myself for ingredients or to the craft store, and love thrifting with my mom or friends. A cup of dollar store ramen doesn't hurt, especially paired with canned tea. A detail on a painting or in any of life's duly gestures... even when days feel bleak, the world has a way of unveiling little surprises like an unexpected thimbleberry on a dried-up bush, and I cherish those moments because happiness on a grand scale can be hard to come by sometimes.

Self care is quite difficult for me. I'm the kind of person who feels the urge to constantly be productive, and my rest usually lies in-between assignments as opposed to an amount of time dedicated to the sole purpose of taking care of my body or mental health. I used to think that the term referred to what one sees in media: a hot bath, steaming cup of tea, half-read book while cocooned in a quilt. But that never worked. Instead, self care for me consists of occupying my mind on time-consuming activities or difficult tasks that keep my brain busy while being unrelated to school duties or other unpleasant tediousness. I often find myself baking or cooking intricate recipes before an essay is due, spending an entire evening threading a seed bead necklace, or cutting up spare cloth into some resemblance of a historical costume. Maybe I'll learn a simple song on guitar between all-region practice sessions, or doodle on my school work when I'm not actively building my portfolio. I have to reach a certain level of "done-ness" in the day before I can let myself completely relax; this is unhealthy sometimes, though, because it fuels a lot of anxiety and makes me feel like if I don't do a set amount of things I'm failing as a whole. But it does keep my chaotic thought processes and mindsets in a loose embrace that will carry me through the day and, when I truly feel accomplished, will allow me to wind down and watch a tv show... but wait...maybe I'll get a little yoga done at the same time.