From a young age I have possessed a large amount of empathy and have always found myself gravitating towards service. I grew up in Albuquerque, New Mexico in a predominantly hispanic household under the main care of my grandmother Cecilia Mirabal. My grandmother was hardworking, kind, generous, but above all else loving. My grandmother allowed stability, love, and comfort to exist in my childhood while my parents were going through divorce. Growing up with my grandmother I always kept these values and characteristics close and prided myself as the years passed to dedicate my career to giving back. I wanted to live a life full of purpose and most of all service because at the core of who I am is someone who cares.
Entering my first year of college in 2017 I was unsure of what direction to go and what to study so I focused on tackling my prerequisites. One day a family member of mine was admitted into the emergency room where I came across my first interest in a potential career field. I applied to the hospital and was able to advance throughout departments making my way up to ICU and Cardiac Critical care to work as a medical nursing assistant.
Before I knew it the world was discovering a severe virus known as COVID-19. While the world shut down my life as well other first responders did not. In fact, our world amplified and beat us down to a mental limitation I was not sure existed until this happened before my eyes. I worked 5, sometimes 6 days a week and incurred massive hours of overtime because the amount of people entering the hospital setting was so overwhelming. Slowly through this process I noticed the little girl who once felt everything, cried for everything was becoming hardened by the day, minute, second. If you saw what I saw, heard what I heard, and felt what I felt you would not want to sleep either or physically couldn’t shut it off. I worked alongside the COVID-19 pandemic for 2 and half years where I witnessed thousands of people die. I felt honor in this and made it appoint to show up every day to serve our people and help my team but I also carried immense pain. Albuquerque, New Mexico was a smaller city which meant many of the people admitted into the hospital I worked at I did know to some capacity. I witnessed old coaches, teachers, neighbors, old colleagues and extended family members die before my eyes. I will never be able to explain the feeling of telling a patient they have to get ventilated because their oxygen is tanking and there is a high possibility they may not wake. Yet, my biggest nightmare happened as one of those patients being my grandmother - Cecilia Mirabal. My grandmother was admitted to the hospital I worked at Presybyterian Hospital with COVID-19 and was sent to the ICU unit where I worked. Due to HIPPA guidelines I was not allowed to be a part of her care but was offered the generous ability to visit with her. Throughout the weeks of my grandmother slowly passing with COVID and losing her ability to breathe I did everything in my power to find the light, the positivity. My entire family blew up my phone at all hours of the day requesting updates, information, and facetime opportunities. I watched my grandmother suffer with COVID-19 for weeks until she finally passed away on January 22, 2022.. After going through the painful loss of my grandmother, I decided to leave the nursing field and focus on psychology, specifically mental health.
I noticed my mental health was in a tough place and I was uncomfortable with the way I was treating myself as well as others around me. I sunk into a very depressed state and constantly would wake up in panic with cold sweats. At the time, I found the best decision was moving to another state to possibly find new hope and meaning. Little did I know, mental health follows us wherever we go.
I moved to California in May 2021 and landed a mental health job in Newport Beach, California that serves frontline workers, veterans - first responders who struggle with post traumatic stress injury, addiction, and anxiety/depression symptoms. Initially, when I saw this job posting I was ecstatic and energized to apply due to the sole fact of my most recent work background as well as experience. I found another way to give back to a community I know first hand and understand first hand the mental health challenges that arise from experiencing constant loss, sleep deprivation, depression, thoughts of suicide, anxiety, and trauma. In my role as a mental health case manager and substance abuse counselor I allow my clients to show up as they are but guide as well as challenge them for the better. I often use my own personal experience to build safety and rapport which has helped immensely in strengthening the relationship. I am very thankful and appreciative of being accepted into this role and have been with the company First Responder Wellness for two years now. I have worked with thousands first responders in those two years and genuinely feel a passion for this line of work. I want to continue to break the stigma surrounding First Responders not receiving help and decrease the suicide statistic as well as increase awareness within the community.
The First Responder population are known as the first to respond to a crisis and the last to receive help. I want to be a part of this change in the culture and further my studies to understand what this population goes through. I want to provide support and resources to family members because they also are going through their own process as their loved one receives treatment/therapy.
The value in processing, discussing, and feeling emotions where once upon a time that did not exist. I was at a place that was not capable, I was disassociated from emotions which I know became my survival technique like many of the first responders I meet today. I was experiencing compassion fatigue, complete burnout, and becoming closer to the suicide statistic by the minute. Seeking out a therapist was the best decision I ever made in my life and solely believe that work has saved as well as shaped my life. I am passionate about continuing to serve the First Responder population and have dedicated my past and current studies to enhance my knowledge as well as ability to show up in the room with a client suffering from traumatic incidents. My therapist showing up for me the way she did has empowered me to do the same for my current and future clients.
I am currently in my Master’s Program at Hope International University in Fullerton, CA hoping to bring into the Psychology as well mental health world understanding, experience, authenticity, and above all else sincere care. I have a passion for becoming a fully licensed LMFT therapist while specializing in trauma modalities. Over the summer, I was able to participate in an EMDR therapy training which has allowed me growth in my professional as well as educational realm. I have hopes and desires for also pursuing my PsyD or PHD to further continue my knowledge and abilities to help those in need. I have considered joining the Navy after a couple of years of practicing with my LMFT license in California. I do know the future ahead of me is unpredictable but if I can predict one thing that will be continuing to invest in serving those who need it. A life full of purpose, is a life well lived and I plan to continue that mantra as well as mission for myself and grandmother Cecilia Mirabal. I owe my passion and inspiration to her and forever have the utmost gratitude for the values she applied in my daily life of my upbringing. I plan to continue carrying her with me in every session I hold and moments of healing I am able to be a part of.
I realized in taking on my own therapeutic journey that the best investment I could give to my clients is true self-care. My days off from work and school are spent enjoying the small moments, spending time with family/friends, taking my dog Yori for walks by the beach, and cooking a good homemade meal. I make sure I hold strong boundaries, and prioritize allowing my body to decompress from the week of painful sessions. If I want to be a true example to my clients I have to be able to practice these small suggestions mysel