Very recently over quarantine, I reached out and convinced my parents to let me get therapy. At my first appointment discussing my family life, I learned my parents are emotionally abusive, and DCF had to be called. Since first grade, I’ve always known my home life isn't perfect. I thought parents fighting was normal. But it escalated over the years and turned from my parents just fighting, to them getting me involved in the fights, to them eventually calling me and my sister names, belittling us, and guilt-tripping me. Living in this environment has been awful for my mental health, but there has always been someone there for me. My band director, Chris Taylor, has been my rock since freshman year. I have never personally told Mr. Taylor what all goes on at home, but I didn't have to. He has just been there for me. I work very hard at band to be successful, and Mr. Taylor pushes me all the time. He nominates me for honor bands, works with me one on one, and encourages me to be a part of every part of the band program. He made the band room my second home, with a very loving family. No matter what goes on at home, I know when I get in that band room I am safe from everything and surrounded by friends. Mr. Taylor is the reason I want to study music education. Without him encouraging me to do leadership and being a part of everything I could, I wouldn't be the person I am today. After college I want to take what I learn to help others. I want to give others what I was given: music, love, and validation. Even if kids are getting it at home, having a program that encourages and pushes them is impactful, and it’s exactly what I want to be a part of. I am forever grateful to Mr. Taylor for all that he has done for me, even if he doesn't know it. After college I want to be like him, kind, caring, hard working, and empathetic. He has taught me so much more than just music in my four short years with him in the band program. He has taught me the value and purpose of teaching, and I can't wait to one day come back to my home town and tell him that I am a band director of a program too, all because of him.

My second family and home has always been band. I have been a part of marching band, pep band, and three jazz bands. One, because I love the activity and the people in it, and two, because it was my escape. When I’m at band, I don’t have to worry about my parents finding out that I am bisexual; I just work hard and enjoy my friends. From the start I worked hard to improve myself, and I’m proud to say I’ve been first chair almost all of high school. I’ve done IMEA honor bands, jazz All-District, All-Star Indy 500 parade, and ISSMA. I know that the time and effort I put in is because I cared and wanted it. I also decided to challenge myself with marching band leadership. My parents discouraged me and told me every reason I was the worst option, and how the directors would never choose me. My freshman year, I auditioned for drum major anyway. Surprisingly, I got it, and became the second student in school history to be a sophomore drum major. Every year since then, I have been a drum major, with my main goal of making sure everyone felt welcome and loved, giving them the opportunity to see band as their safe place too. My relationship with my parents has not been good for a very long time, and having to constantly hide a part of myself does not help. They claim they aren't homophobic, but my mother uses her religion to constantly remind me of how it is a sin and evil. Knowing that if you tell your own mother a very important part of your identity that she would hate you makes you just feel sick to your stomach. Even applying to LGBTQ+ scholarships scares me a bit, because I know if they find out I will have to lie and say i'm just an ally. Having this dichotomy is a strain and holds me back, but I know college will allow me to really be me. In college I want to continue to study music and have it be an important part of my life. Because of being a drum major I learned that I have a passion for teaching, and working with people. Seeing someone have that ¨Ah ha¨ moment is just unmatched. Music in itself is connecting and a great for bringing people together, and my experience with music has been because of a wonderful program at school. Becoming a music teacher or band director would allow me to give people what I was given, a loving environment where you can just be yourself. Music education is vital to have in elementary schools and high schools, and I can't wait to make the band room someone else's second home, just like it is for me.

I have never personally told my band director Mr. Taylor what all goes on in my home life, but I don't have to. He has just been there for me, and every other student in the band. I work very hard in my school's band program to be successful, and Mr. Taylor pushes me all the time. He nominates me for honor bands, works with me one on one, and encourages me to be a part of every band I have the time for. He made the band room my second home, with a very loving family. No matter what goes on at home, I know when I get in that band room I am safe from everything and surrounded by friends, thanks to him. Mr. Taylor is the reason I want to study music education. Without him encouraging me to do leadership and being a part of everything I could, I wouldn't be the person I am today. After college I want to take what I learn to help others. I want to give others what Mr. Taylor has given me: music, love, and validation. Even if kids are getting it at home, having a program that encourages and pushes them is impactful, and it’s exactly what I want to be a part of. Education is a large part of everyone's lives, and it is what introduces some people to their passion and love in life. I am forever grateful to Mr. Taylor for all that he has done for me, even if he doesn't know it. All four years of highschool he has helped me through the challenges I have faced. After college I want to be like him, kind, caring, hard working, and empathetic. He has taught me so much more than just music in my four short years with him in the band program. He has taught me the value and purpose of education, and I can't wait to one day come back to my home town and tell him that I am a band director of a program too, all because of him.

Very recently over quarantine, I reached out and convinced my parents to let me get therapy. At my first appointment discussing my family life, I learned my parents are emotionally abusive, and DCF had to be called. Since first grade, I’ve always known my home life isn't perfect. I thought parents fighting was normal. But it escalated over the years and turned from my parents just fighting, to them getting me involved in the fights, to them eventually calling me and my sister names, belittling us, and guilt-tripping me. I would talk about it with friends, and I first realized it could be abuse when I started high school. Most kids don’t have to worry about the repercussions or fights that will be caused if you decide to ask to go out with friends. Most kids didn't have their every action watched closely, and get called a failure or told to give up when they make any mistake. Despite my situation, I am still living with my parents, but over the years I have learned how to support myself mentally and emotionally. Having a therapist give me that moment of validation, of being told yes that is abuse changed my outlook on life. I am proud to say that even though my parents try to hold me back, I’ve got enough willpower and support to be able to do what's best for me, and put my needs first, and that doesnt make me selfish like my parents claim it does. Knowing that I wasn't crazy and I deserved so much more than what I had been given really helped me through quarantine and currently through this school year. One of the most important things to me even through my change of perspective has been band. It’s been my second family and home. I have been a part of marching band, pep band, and three jazz bands. One, because I love the activity and the people in it, and two, because it was my escape. When I’m at band, I don’t have to worry about my parents calling me disgusting or selfish; I just work hard and enjoy my friends. From the start I worked hard to improve myself, and I’m proud to say I’ve been first chair almost all of high school. I’ve done IMEA honor bands, jazz All-District, All-Star Indy 500 parade, and ISSMA. I know that the time and effort I put in is because I cared and wanted it. I also decided to challenge myself with marching band leadership. My parents discouraged me and told me every reason I was the worst option, and how the directors would never choose me. My freshman year, I auditioned for drum major anyway. Surprisingly, I got it, and became the second student in school history to be a sophomore drum major. Every year since then, I have been a drum major, with my main goal of making sure everyone felt welcome and loved, giving them the opportunity to see band as their safe place too. My home life made me change, making me split myself into two people: the one my parents knew, and the one I want to be. Having the perspective change that no matter what I do my parents won’t be proud of me or encourage me because they are abusive hurts, but I know college will give me the chance to finally be myself full time. I'll be able to grow more as a person because I will have support and a loving environment from the start. I plan on studying music education because of the impact music has had on my entire life. Without my directors and friends I wouldn’t have been able to become a strong leader, have a good work ethic, or a good attitude. I would have been stuck with the scared, shy, girl who refused to talk out of fear, who thought she was disgusting and believed every word her parents said. I want to make sure I can continue to help myself improve, and after college take what I learned to help others. I want to give others what I was given: music, love, and validation. Even if kids are getting it at home, having a program that encourages and pushes them is impactful, and it’s exactly what I want to be a part of.

Very recently over quarantine, I reached out and convinced my parents to let me get therapy. At my first appointment discussing my family life, I learned my parents are emotionally abusive, and DCF had to be called. Since first grade, I’ve always known my home life isn't perfect. I thought parents fighting was normal. But it escalated over the years and turned from my parents just fighting, to them getting me involved in the fights, to them eventually calling me and my sister names, belittling us, and guilt-tripping me. Over the years this has whittled down my mental health. I was officially diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder in eighth grade, obsessive compulsive disorder in freshman year, and seasonal depression in sophmore year Having so many diagnoses alone is a strain to my mental health. I wonder why am I the way I am, and why can't I just be normal? I am currently in therapy, and my therapist has taught me that I already have one of the best coping skills: music. The only time I ever get a break from the constant noise in my head is when I make noise myself at band. I joined band in sixth grade, and it has helped me so much over the years. Band has been my second family and home. I have been a part of marching band, pep band, and three jazz bands. One, because I love the activity and the people in it, and two, because it was my escape. When I’m at band, I don’t have to worry about my parents calling me disgusting or selfish; I just work hard and enjoy my friends. From the start I worked hard to improve myself, and I’m proud to say I’ve been first chair almost all of high school. I’ve done IMEA honor bands, jazz All-District, All-Star Indy 500 parade, and ISSMA. I know that the time and effort I put in is because I cared and wanted it. I also decided to challenge myself with marching band leadership. My parents discouraged me and told me every reason I was the worst option, and how the directors would never choose me. My freshman year, I auditioned for drum major anyway. Surprisingly, I got it, and became the second student in school history to be a sophomore drum major. Every year since then, I have been a drum major, with my main goal of making sure everyone felt welcome and loved, giving them the opportunity to see the band as their safe place too. I worked hard at band because it is one of the few times I feel truly normal and healthy. It does add extra stress at times simply because I am always doing something, and I am very busy. Despite that, I know I wouldn't be here today without band and all the people in it. I am so glad I am working on my mental health and getting better, but I do have to come to terms with the fact that I am not normal, but that's ok. My experience has pushed me to want to work as hard as I can to be a band director and give students the same loving environment I was given, with the hopes it can help them just like it has helped me.

Very recently over quarantine, I reached out and convinced my parents to let me get therapy. At my first appointment discussing my family life, I learned my parents are emotionally abusive, and DCF had to be called. Since first grade, I’ve always known my home life isn't perfect. I thought parents fighting was normal. But it escalated over the years and turned from my parents just fighting, to them getting me involved in the fights, to them eventually calling me and my sister names, belittling us, and guilt-tripping me. Over quarantine it got to the worst it ever had been, and I desperately needed an out. Usually I use school as my way out, I participate in as many band activities as I can, and I run track in the spring. But with everything getting cancelled I had to learn a new way of handling my home life. I got a job at a greenhouse in the spring season, and it taught me more than just how to take care of plants. I decided the best way to cope with my family life was to try to control what I could, so I took on the challenge of revamping our garden. This doesn't seem like a huge task at first, but my father had just done some construction on our barn, so there was a three foot trench with pipes spanning the entire length of the garden. As soon as the snow was off the ground I got to work. I would wake up and immediately get the shovel and wheelbarrow. I would take loads of dirt from behind the barn and wheel it all the way up to the garden, over and over until I couldn't do it anymore that day. It took me two weeks just to fill in the trench. The work was monotonous and my parents asked me every day why I even cared to do it, and to just leave it because I wouldn't do a good job anyway. Nevertheless I persisted and did the work anyway. After the first bit of physical labor, I tilled the area, and got my plants. I tended to them all season, and it brought me so much satisfaction to have an outlet that was healthy and kept me away from my parents.Watching the plants grow and eating the vegetables I had grown myself gave me the feeling of accomplishment I was missing from a lack of band and school. As the weather turned cold, I realized I didn't want to lose my green thumb, and I decided to use some of my money from work to start getting some indoor plants. Quarantine was very difficult and still is, because of how horribly my family treats me. But I have so much pride in myself for using the time to learn about a new hobby and realize I actually have a passion for it. My top choice college, Monmouth College in Illinois, has a greenhouse that grows fruits and vegetables all year round. What is grown is used in the dining halls or donated to the community. I think that is a wonderful thing and exactly what I want to be a part of. I also hope to learn more about their bee farm, and volunteer to help with it as well. College will give me a chance to finally be away from my parents and be my real self. That being said I wont forget my roots or what got me through this pandemic. Nature and gardening is now a large part of my life. I plan on studying music education to become a band director, but luckily my two interests work very well together. My goal is to start my teaching career in a lower income area, and use what I learn in college to help them. I want to share my love of gardening and music, and I want to help fund and start a gardening club that will be for growing food for the community. I also want to build the greenhouse out of recycled bottles, using a wood frame. The pandemic has taught me so much about myself and nature, and I want to give back to others everything I can.

Very recently over quarantine, I reached out and convinced my parents to let me get therapy. At my first appointment discussing my family life, I learned my parents are emotionally abusive, and DCF had to be called. Since first grade, I’ve always known my home life isn't perfect. I thought parents fighting was normal. But it escalated over the years and turned from my parents just fighting, to them getting me involved in the fights, to them eventually calling me and my sister names, belittling us, and guilt-tripping me. Over the years this has whittled down my mental health. I was officially diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder in eighth grade, obsessive compulsive disorder in freshman year, and seasonal depression in sophmore year. Having so many diagnoses alone is a strain to my mental health. I wonder why am I the way I am, and why can't I just be normal? I am currently in therapy. My therapist taught me that I already had one of the best coping skills: music. The only time I ever get a break from the constant noise in my head is when I make noise myself at band. I joined the band in sixth grade, and it has helped me so much over the years. Band has been my second family and home. I have been a part of marching band, pep band, and three jazz bands. One, because I love the activity and the people in it, and two, because it was my escape. When I’m at band, I don’t have to worry about my parents calling me disgusting or selfish; I just work hard and enjoy my friends. From the start I worked hard to improve myself. I want to study music education because of how much it has helped me on my mental health journey. My band director has been an amazing role model, and Itś where all my friends are. Becoming a band director would allow me to give teens the loving and healthy environment I was given, so I can help others become the best versions of themselves.

Most people know that social media can be negative and harmful, but some have to deal with more than just social media negativity. My home life has been less than ideal, and very recently over quarantine, I reached out and convinced my parents to let me get therapy. At my first appointment discussing my family life, I learned my parents are emotionally abusive, and DCF had to be called. My journey with self-love is far from over, and I face setbacks every day because of my family. Since first grade, I’ve always known my home life isn't perfect. I thought parents fighting was normal. But it escalated over the years and turned from my parents just fighting, to them getting me involved in the fights, to them eventually calling me and my sister names, belittling us, and guilt-tripping me. I first started to doubt my worth in second grade. My parents use my grades, my looks, and my accomplishments to define me. For the longest time I thought I had to have good grades and be the best to even be worthy of love. What has taught me the most about self-love has been band. It’s been my second family and home. I have been a part of marching band, pep band, and three jazz bands. One, because I love the activity and the people in it, and two, because it was my escape. When I’m at band, I don’t have to worry about my parents calling me disgusting or selfish; I just work hard and enjoy my friends. From the start I worked hard to improve how I viewed myself, because the band directors always worked hard to make us feel loved and appreciated. My band director is my rock, and my role model for how to accept myself and eventually love myself. He is the epitome of overflowing caring and empathy, and he shows each and every one of his students how much we all mean to him. He has pushed me on my self-love journey and supported me all the way. I believe music education would allow me to become a teacher and help others learn the importance of loving yourself. My band director has had such an impact on my life that he has made it so the only job I can see myself doing is doing exactly what he does. He has taught me that music is just a small part of being a band director. Being in a position where I can help children and teens realize their true worth and potential is exactly what I want to be a part of.

Very recently over quarantine, I reached out and convinced my parents to let me get therapy. At my first appointment discussing my family life, I learned my parents are emotionally abusive, and DCF had to be called. Since first grade, I’ve always known my home life isn't perfect. I thought parents fighting was normal. But it escalated over the years and turned from my parents just fighting, to them getting me involved in the fights, to them eventually calling me and my sister names, belittling us, and guilt-tripping me. Over the years this has whittled down my mental health. I was officially diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder in eighth grade, obsessive compulsive disorder in freshman year, seasonal depression in sophmore year, and this year because of quarantine I have developed possible orthorexia. Having so many diagnoses alone is a strain to my mental health. I wonder why am I the way I am, and why can't I just be normal? I have used a few too many unhealthy coping skills over the years, just to try and gain control. I restrict what I eat, because maybe if I can control that and eat healthy I'll feel better. It never works and currently in therapy I am finally learning some good coping skills. My therapist taught me that I already had one of the best coping skills: music. The only time I ever get a break from the constant noise in my head is when I make noise myself at band. I joined the band in sixth grade, and it has helped me so much over the years even thought for so long I thought it was just a love of the art that made band so enjoyable. Band has been my second family and home. I have been a part of marching band, pep band, and three jazz bands. One, because I love the activity and the people in it, and two, because it was my escape. When I’m at band, I don’t have to worry about my parents calling me disgusting or selfish; I just work hard and enjoy my friends. From the start I worked hard to improve myself, and I’m proud to say I’ve been first chair almost all of high school. I’ve done IMEA honor bands, jazz All-District, All-Star Indy 500 parade, and ISSMA. I know that the time and effort I put in is because I cared and wanted it. I also decided to challenge myself with marching band leadership. My parents discouraged me and told me every reason I was the worst option, and how the directors would never choose me. My freshman year, I auditioned for drum major anyway. Surprisingly, I got it, and became the second student in school history to be a sophomore drum major. Every year since then, I have been a drum major, with my main goal of making sure everyone felt welcome and loved, giving them the opportunity to see the band as their safe place too. I worked hard at band because it is one of the few times I feel truly normal and healthy. It does add extra stress at times simply because I am always doing something, and I am very busy. Despite that, I know I wouldn't be here today without band and all the people in it. I am so glad I am working on my mental health and getting better, but I do have to come to terms with the fact that I am not normal, but that's ok. My experience has pushed me to want to work as hard as I can to be a band director and give students the same loving environment I was given, with the hopes it can help them just like it has helped me.

Very recently over quarantine, I reached out and convinced my parents to let me get therapy. At my first appointment discussing my family life, I learned my parents are emotionally abusive, and DCF had to be called. Since first grade, I’ve always known my home life isn't perfect. I thought parents fighting was normal. But it escalated over the years and turned from my parents just fighting, to them getting me involved in the fights, to them eventually calling me and my sister names, belittling us, and guilt-tripping me. Living in this environment has been awful for my mental health, but there has always been someone there for me. My band director, Chris Taylor has been my rock since freshman year. I have never personally told Mr. Taylor what all goes on at home, but I didn't have to. He has just been there for me. I work very hard at band to be successful, and Mr. Taylor pushes me all the time. He nominates me for honor bands, works with me one on one, and encourages me to be a part of every part of the band program. He made the band room my second home, with a very loving family. No matter what goes on at home, I know when I get in that band room I am safe from everything and surrounded by friends. Mr. Taylor is the reason I want to study music education. Without him encouraging me to do leadership and being a part of everything I could, I wouldn't be the person I am today. After college I want to take what I learn to help others. I want to give others what I was given: music, love, and validation. Even if kids are getting it at home, having a program that encourages and pushes them is impactful, and it’s exactly what I want to be a part of. I am forever grateful to Mr. Taylor for all that he has done for me, even if he doesn't know it. After college I want to be like him, kind, caring, hard working, and empathetic. He has taught me so much more than just music in my four short years with him in the band program. He has taught me the value and purpose of teaching, and I can't wait to one day come back to my home town and tell him that I am a band director of a program too, all because of him.

When I got chosen to be one of the Drum Majors of my high schools marching band, I was exstatic and terrified. Leadership is not an easy task, especially when you are trying to lead a group of one hundred and fifty people with only one other person to help. Despite the challenge, I learned a lot from my fellow drum major and band director. Leadership is not easy, but them by my side made me sucessful. At the end of the season, I was conducting at Lucas Oil Stadium with my new best friend and band director watching.

One of the most important things to me has been band. It’s been my second family and home. I have been a part of marching band, pep band, and three jazz bands. One, because I love the activity and the people in it, and two, because it was my escape. When I’m at band, I don’t have to worry about my parents calling me disgusting or selfish; I just work hard and enjoy my friends. From the start I worked hard to improve myself, and I’m proud to say I’ve been first chair almost all of high school. I’ve done IMEA honor bands, jazz All-District, All-Star Indy 500 parade, and ISSMA. I know that the time and effort I put in is because I cared and wanted it. I also decided to challenge myself with marching band leadership. My parents discouraged me and told me every reason I was the worst option, and how the directors would never choose me. My freshman year, I auditioned for drum major anyway. Surprisingly, I got it, and became the second student in school history to be a sophomore drum major. Every year since then, I have been a drum major, with my main goal of making sure everyone felt welcome and loved, giving them the opportunity to see band as their safe place too. My home life made me change, making me split myself into two people: the one my parents knew, and the one I want to be. Realizing that no matter what I do, my parents won’t be proud of me or encourage me still hurts, but I know college will give me the chance to finally be myself full time, and grow more as a person because I will have support and a loving environment from the start. I plan on studying music education because of the impact music has had on my entire life. Without my directors and friends, I wouldn’t have been able to become a strong leader, with a good work ethic and attitude. I would have been stuck with the scared, shy, girl who refused to talk out of fear, who thought she was disgusting and believed every word her parents said. I want to make sure I can continue to help myself improve, and after college take what I learned to help others. I want to give others what I was given: music, love, and validation. Even if kids are getting it at home, having a program that encourages and pushes them is impactful, and it’s exactly what I want to be a part of.