In the middle of taking 21 hours over the summer, I woke up to a million and one notifications on my phone. My eyes only caught one message saying my grandma on my mom's side would be making it to my house in about an hour and she left my hometown to come to my college town the moment she found out. I had a million things running through my head but being alone in my college town with all my friends gone for the summer and my closest family four hours away I decided to turn my phone off because I did not want to know what news would come once I looked. After 30 minutes of panic and a welfare check from the police, I figured it was time to face reality and see what was going on. I first checked the voicemail from my father's parents (grandparents) and heard the words that left a huge hole in my heart that will never be healed. "Your dad shot himself in the middle of the night and did not make it..." With my mind racing and family still a ways away from my apartment, I went into complete shock. I somewhat remember calling my school to tell them I would not be going due to what happened but other than that I remember nothing leading up to the funeral. The hardest day of my life. With this experience happening over the last summer, I have learned one thing. Never take people for granted. I now spend the most time with family because you never know when it is going to be the last. I try to think positively, but the truth is every time someone leaves the house I think it is going to be the last time I see them. I continue in school trying to receive my business degree because this experience has only made me stronger. I believe that God has his reasons for everything and when I graduate I want to start my own nonprofit to help families who have experienced suicide loss. My grandparents are unable to retire because of how much funeral expenses were and I want to be able to make a change upon graduation. It will take a lot of effort but I am almost certain this is what I am meant to do and why I have gone through so much over the year. I am beyond grateful that TCU worked with me during that time and that I am scheduled to graduate next year.

In the middle of taking 21 hours over the summer, I woke up to a million and one notifications on my phone. My eyes only caught one message saying my grandma on my mom's side would be making it to my house in about an hour and she left my hometown to come to my college town the moment she found out. I had a million things running through my head but being alone in my college town with all my friends gone for the summer and my closest family four hours away I decided to turn my phone off because I did not want to know what news would come once I looked. After 30 minutes of panic and a welfare check from the police, I figured it was time to face reality and see what was going on. I first checked the voicemail from my father's parents (grandparents) and heard the words that left a huge hole in my heart that will never be healed. "Your dad shot himself in the middle of the night and did not make it..." With my mind racing and family still a ways away from my apartment, I went into complete shock. I somewhat remember calling my school to tell them I would not be going due to what happened but other than that I remember nothing leading up to the funeral. The hardest day of my life. With this experience happening over the last summer, I have learned one thing. Never take people for granted. I now spend the most time with family because you never know when it is going to be the last. I try to think positively, but the truth is every time someone leaves the house I think it is going to be the last time I see them. I continue in school trying to receive my business degree because this experience has only made me stronger. I believe that God has his reasons for everything and when I graduate I want to start my own nonprofit to help families who have experienced suicide loss. My grandparents are unable to retire because of how much funeral expenses were and I want to be able to make a change upon graduation. It will take a lot of effort but I am almost certain this is what I am meant to do and why I have gone through so much over the year. I am beyond grateful that TCU worked with me during that time and that I am scheduled to graduate next year.