Just like many others, I struggle significantly with social anxiety. The fear of rejection and the terror that comes with just the thought of interacting with others are sentiments that resonate with many around the world, including me, making pursuing higher education a daunting uphill battle that feels impossible to win. The thought of participating in class, attending interviews, and being constantly surrounded by a sea of people, all while trying to navigate the tumultuous waters of anxiety and the intense competition present in college, only contribute to the ever-prevalent nervousness and worry. It is a labyrinth that I attempt to conquer every day. I was diagnosed with intrusive anxiety as a freshman in college. However, the roots of my struggle with anxiety can be traced back to childhood. Perhaps it was my upbringing, growing up in a home where I was constantly made to feel small, or maybe it was the specter of my brother's struggle with selective mutism, a battle cut short by suicide, that made me aware of my own struggle. Nonetheless, "wallflower" felt like far too small a word to capture the gravity of my discomfort and separation from the outside world. I never spoke when I was younger, and the only time I felt happy was when I was alone. With that said, when I was formally diagnosed, the anxiety part did not come as a surprise, but the intrusive part did. I thought everyone had a constant voice in their head spewing lies of inadequacy and assurance of judgment by others, but to my surprise, I was told that there was such a thing as mental silence and peace. A peace that I still chase today. I'm sure you're wondering why I waited so long to get help or why my parents didn't seek help for me when I was younger, questions that I still ask myself today. Maybe it was fear, or perhaps it was denial; all I know is that when I did seek help, it wasn't because I had some wave of mental fortitude that inspired me to get help, and it wasn't because I didn't want to lose a battle to suicide. I got help because I wanted this beast to have a label and to know what I was facing. So, how has this journey affected me? Well, mainly, it has made daily functioning extremely difficult. Every day is the biggest challenge of my life. Getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, and taking a shower are all tasks that are weighed down by anxiety and the fear of having to go outside and interact with others once they are complete. Staying in bed means safety and familiarity, whereas outside implies danger. Anxiety has affected my relationships as I have a constant fear that people are judging me or will leave me. I feel terrified every day of my life of uncertainty and the unknown as I tremble in fear of the worst happening simply because of my existence. Pursuing a college degree is significant to me so I can be a pillar and role model to others like me. It is of the utmost importance to me to show young African-American girls and others that in the face of anxiety, we must be resilient and determined to achieve our goals. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "If you can't walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving." Achieving a degree will show that even at our lowest, we can achieve our most extraordinary.